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Reviews tagging 'Acephobia/Arophobia'
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen
92 reviews
nica_chan's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
“A tutte le persone che hanno sempre voluto desiderare di più.” Questa è la dedica del libro “ACE. Cosa ci rivela l’asessualità sul desiderio, la società e il significato del sesso” di Angela Chen. Prima di leggere questo saggio ammetto che un po’ scettica lo ero: un libro sull’asessualità che vuole parlare di desiderio? Ma era mica proprio la definizione di asessualità che parla dell’assenza di qualcosa, in questo caso l’attrazione sessuale? Oh, quanto mi sbagliavo su tante cose.
In effetti in questo libro si parla del tema di assenza di attrazione e/o desiderio sessuale, ma la maggior parte del tempo questo testo mi ha parlato di desiderio, di amore, di decostruzione, di lotta, di gioia.
Nel libro si nominano tanti termini che ormai sentiamo un po’ ovunque, come “amatonormatività” e “sessualità obbligatoria”, ma anche solo “asessualità” o l’importanza di decostruire la gerarchia delle relazioni, in cui quelle romantiche stanno all’apice. Questa breve recensione non vuole diventare un glossario, ma penso che nominare questi grandi sistemi che ci tengono in gabbia mi abbia fatto bene.
Leggendo ho rivisto parti di me stessa a cui non riuscivo a dare un nome, e a cui tuttora non ho risposte. L’asessualità e l’aromanticismo sono tematiche su cui mi sto interrogando da svariato tempo; mettono in discussione tutto il sistema relazionale occidentale e bianco per come lo conosciamo noi oggi. È complicato sentire di non appartenervici, ma forse lo è ancora di più se dall’altra parte non si ha una rete solida, certa e sicura, che ti dice chi sei davvero.
Verso la fine del libro, nel mio capitolo preferito, “Anna”, ad un certo punto Anna dice: “Non riesco a capirlo [se sono aro/ace], ma mi va bene non saperlo. Non esiste uno schema precostituito, ma ho lasciato che per tutta la vita la gente definisse certi schemi e ho provato ad adattarmi a quello che diceva e a come le relazioni dovessero essere.” Poi Chen aggiunge: “È molto meglio accettare le domande senza pretendere una risposta, esistere in questa vita indefinita del momento, l’unica in cui può essere chi è davvero”
Questo libro mi sta regalando la bellezza e la gioia del restare nello spazio delle sfumature dei colori, del poter finalmente scegliere come fare le relazioni, il sesso, di scegliere come definirmi o non definirmi mai, di stare con l’incertezza e le domande. Perché forse esse sono l’unico spazio dove l’importante non è la verità o ciò che è giusto, ma sono la curiosità, l’amore e il desiderio, di amare e di essere chi siamo.
Grazie Angela Chen, ti devo tantissimo.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia
nad_books623's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Wow this book was amazing! Made me rethink my own experiences and social scripts. This book reaffirmed my past experiences and helped me affirm that sex isn't everything. Especially, being a college student in a hookup culture. This book is an important read for asexuals, allosexuals and people inbetween.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Acephobia/Arophobia
Minor: Sexual violence, Rape, Sexual assault, Religious bigotry, and Racism
zackarinareads's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Ableism, Racism, and Rape
cheriepie's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
I think this book is important, and I think it shines when it's compiling stories from ace people. I found the chapters on aces of color and disabled aces to be the most informative and useful. I think ace people need more books of their stories and theory.
That said I think it focuses almost too heavily on sex neutral-to-favorable aces, and honestly on heteromantic aces as well. While Chen does talk with non-heteromantic aces, their romantic orientation doesn't seem to be a part of the discussion. Having a heteromantic-heavy view definitely skews things when you base your theory off of it -- the way that Chen explains "compulsory sexuality" only holds water if you believe that there is no societal difference between the way gay and straight sex are viewed, which is demonstrably untrue. I feel like talking with a non-heteromantic ace about their identity and how it intersects with their ace identity might have helped more in threading that needle.
That said I think it focuses almost too heavily on sex neutral-to-favorable aces, and honestly on heteromantic aces as well. While Chen does talk with non-heteromantic aces, their romantic orientation doesn't seem to be a part of the discussion. Having a heteromantic-heavy view definitely skews things when you base your theory off of it -- the way that Chen explains "compulsory sexuality" only holds water if you believe that there is no societal difference between the way gay and straight sex are viewed, which is demonstrably untrue. I feel like talking with a non-heteromantic ace about their identity and how it intersects with their ace identity might have helped more in threading that needle.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
savvylit's review against another edition
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
First things first, I want to thank Zoé @readingforfunsies for suggesting this book to me as part of the #12friends12books challenge! I am so glad you recommended Ace. 💜
Ace was an incredibly informative read that left me feeling like I really and truly LEARNED while reading it. As I had hoped from the title alone, I discovered so much about the full spectrum of ace identity and it's history. That alone was plenty fascinating and enlightening. However, I was delighted that there was even more to learn; Ace gave me a much more expansive view of sexuality (in general) and consent than I'd had before reading. Throughout the book, Chen illustrates how our society makes sexuality and desire feel compulsory. Chen then uses this idea of compulsory sexuality to introduce the ace perspective on consent. Specifically, Chen points to the concept of hermeneutical injustice - the idea that lacking language for yourself & your needs is a form of violence. If you don't have the words for why you don't want to do something, it is so much harder to say no. This concept is essential to the ace community but is also something that could - and should - be applied to our understanding of injustice in the world at large.
In short, Ace gave me loads of useful knowledge and I am so grateful for my now-expanded view of sexuality and desire.
Ace was an incredibly informative read that left me feeling like I really and truly LEARNED while reading it. As I had hoped from the title alone, I discovered so much about the full spectrum of ace identity and it's history. That alone was plenty fascinating and enlightening. However, I was delighted that there was even more to learn; Ace gave me a much more expansive view of sexuality (in general) and consent than I'd had before reading. Throughout the book, Chen illustrates how our society makes sexuality and desire feel compulsory. Chen then uses this idea of compulsory sexuality to introduce the ace perspective on consent. Specifically, Chen points to the concept of hermeneutical injustice - the idea that lacking language for yourself & your needs is a form of violence. If you don't have the words for why you don't want to do something, it is so much harder to say no. This concept is essential to the ace community but is also something that could - and should - be applied to our understanding of injustice in the world at large.
In short, Ace gave me loads of useful knowledge and I am so grateful for my now-expanded view of sexuality and desire.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
alspacedout's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
Really interesting perspectives !! A light read that convers alot if not all the bases (gender and sex, race, other sexualities and their crossover w/ asexuality, disability) highly recommend for both understanding and utility purposes.
Couple weird nonsequitors like the best friends bashing one of their mother's skull in introducing us to non sexual, platonic/romantic obsession lol.
Couple weird nonsequitors like the best friends bashing one of their mother's skull in introducing us to non sexual, platonic/romantic obsession lol.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Murder
Minor: Sexual assault, Acephobia/Arophobia, Forced institutionalization, and Toxic relationship
angela_p's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia
Minor: Sexual violence and Rape
melodyseestrees's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
This has plenty of information about asexuality and it best serves as a starting point to learning. There is some nuance within conversations about asexuality and differing experiences under the same label. I wish there was a bit more exploration into those people who are entirely sex-repulsed or sex-negative. It feels like a lot of detail went into sex-positive and sex-neutral before going "eh some people just hate sex."
The writing style was just okay. It isn't the most grabbing but there are moments that resonated with me. I managed to enjoy the read despite a few organizational quirks.
The writing style was just okay. It isn't the most grabbing but there are moments that resonated with me. I managed to enjoy the read despite a few organizational quirks.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Sexual content
Moderate: Racism, Rape, and Sexual assault
Minor: Gaslighting
_alias_ali's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
3.75
overall i'm glad i read this book. i learned a bunch of new things about asexuality, aces, and myself (i'm allo). i especially liked the chapter about sex-positivity in contemporary feminism. her perspective on feeling like a 'real feminist' needing to be very sexual (ly liberated) was new and important to me. i also appreciated the look at the intersectionality of asexuality.
some things i stumbled upon/found problematic were:
- the author reproducing harmful virginity narratives and not once questioning them while she questions so many other sexual narratives in this book about questioning societal sexual narratives??
- her very badly chosen examples of _passionate non-sexual relationships_ that had some unnecessary connection to MURDER?? very unlucky choices and one didn't even have anything to do with asexuality. (especially since she does criticize the harmful typecasting of aces as heartless sociopaths but then partakes in it as well tho implicitly?)
-the book imtroduces many many names of people and i got them mixed up easily. their experiences are thrown in at random places in the text when i had already forgotten about their introduction
anyway, i still really did enjoy this read and took a lot away from it, and be it the need for further exploration and discussion of socially constructed narratives of sexuality and relationships.
some things i stumbled upon/found problematic were:
- the author reproducing harmful virginity narratives and not once questioning them while she questions so many other sexual narratives in this book about questioning societal sexual narratives??
- her very badly chosen examples of _passionate non-sexual relationships_ that had some unnecessary connection to MURDER?? very unlucky choices and one didn't even have anything to do with asexuality. (especially since she does criticize the harmful typecasting of aces as heartless sociopaths but then partakes in it as well tho implicitly?)
-the book imtroduces many many names of people and i got them mixed up easily. their experiences are thrown in at random places in the text when i had already forgotten about their introduction
anyway, i still really did enjoy this read and took a lot away from it, and be it the need for further exploration and discussion of socially constructed narratives of sexuality and relationships.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Murder, Ableism, Rape, Sexism, and Sexual violence
dreamerfreak's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Minor: Acephobia/Arophobia and Sexual violence