Reviews with content warning for Rape - The Way I Am Now

I genuinely do you not have one bad thing to say about this book. By the end of it, I could not stop crying. Eden's Story is so incredibly important and powerful. Watching her come into herself, know what she deserves, and watching her heal was so moving. And I also think that Josh's development is incredibly important as well. At times this book had me laughing and smiling, but for the most part my heart was on the floor and I was bawling. I have never been so proud of somebody who does not even exist. And while this book is hard to read, it is also truthful and, at times, beautiful. Let yourself read it and fall in love with Eden and Josh and their stories and the way that they come from these two hurt and scared kids to a man and a woman who fight for what they know they deserve. Amber Smith has done it again. I am in awe.

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ashleythebookwhore's review

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3.5

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ehhitsmorgan's review

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

My heart. 😭

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cassafrassandfries's review

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challenging emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

*TW: Rape, Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence* This stunning sequel to Amber Smith’s “The Way I Used To Be” was just as excellent as the first book in Eden & Josh’s story. I was once again blown away by Smith’s ability to put me in the mind of 17/18 year old girl and it not feel trite or contrived. She created, in Eden, an empathically believable protagonist. Even through her many faults, I never found myself rolling my eyes or frustrated with her actions or emotions. They all felt impeccably real, and very nuanced. Seeing Eden and Josh’s character growth throughout this sequel felt so gratifying after reading the first in this duo, and I found myself not just rooting for them as a couple, but as individuals in their own rights. And yet, Smith still stayed so brutally truthful to the many downstream effects of a sexual assault. She did a beautiful job of weaving these threads or trauma throughout the story line, and presented what I can only imagine is a relatively realistic, if not slightly idealistic, portrayal of what a survivor would experience. There were so many heartwarming moments in this: Josh’s alcoholic dad coming through for him, and for Eden; Eden finding a new community of people and a new place to be able to leave some of the weight of this behind as she processes; Eden’s mom figuring out how to navigate this for her; Eden screaming ‘no’ at Perry in the street - because she didn’t get the opportunity to scream at Kevin (as his lawyer so gently points out). So many quotes that felt incredibly raw to my younger, and my current, self. As I did when reviewing the first book in this duo, I’ll summarize by saying that this is not a ‘fun’ read by any stretch of the imagination, but engaging, powerful, and somehow still enjoyable. I HIGHLY recommend these two books, and am grateful to my niece for recommending the first, grateful to a kind coworker to let me borrow her copy of the sequel, and grateful to my sister Katie for letting her daughter read things like this - stories that will hopefully keep her safe and give her the power to help herself and others.

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gorgi's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I'm going to start with the positives of this book. firstly, it was great. I enjoyed reading about how the characters were processing everything that happened in the first book and every decision they ever made. the start was good because it wasn't like a huge jump of time in between the books, book two just continued exactly from where book one left off. the way I am now definitely carried on the emotion that the way I used to be made me feel and it made me shed so many tears. in some ways, I feel like I relate to Eden due to trauma in life. I have never been through what she went through, but I have felt and do feel strong pain like her. The book was just 1000 times better due to the fact I could 100% see where she was coming from. I liked Josh but honestly, I would have liked more from him in terms of how he communicated with Eden. he was always pushing Eden to be honest with him and when she was, he got made, like really. I hated Josh when he did that and felt so so bad for Eden and having to see someone, she loves do that to her. now onto the bad parts of the book. I expected more. I wanted more. there is this huge build-up towards the end of the book with the trials and hearing and what would happen to Kevin and then we just never find out. seriously. I waited the whole book to find out if Kevin was going to jail or not and then you just never tell me and end the book. I think that was a poor thing to do. also, I would have liked to see more character growth from Eden. I feel like she spent the whole book trying so hard to get over all this past trauma and all her problems only to solve 1 or 2 and still be left with a huge plate of problems. I think more character growth could have happened and Eden could have ended the book feeling prouder and okay with herself. honestly, this book was kinda a letdown. I mean it was a great book, don't get me wrong but after the first book this book didn't give me as much as I would have liked. the first book was amazing, and this book was alright, but I needed more to happen and more to have been resolved. the first book had so much emotion and the way I am now had emotion too but not as much, so I didn't heavily feel a strong OMG this book made me die of tears. overall, I gave this book 4 stars because I did enjoy it there were just a few things I would tweak. I really connected with Eden due to my life and problems and I think that was what made me need to give it a high rating, but I still would have rated it a 4 even if I didn't connect with Eden because the book was great, and it helps show what trauma can be like and how heavy it plays in someone's life. I do recommend reading but if you do, please read over the content warnings first because it is a strong and heavy book and it does have an impact on your life.

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