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4.13 AVERAGE
4.13 AVERAGE
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
funny
lighthearted
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Not Catching Love by @saxonjameswrites
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
I had been counting down until this book was released on Jan 30th and it did not disappoint.
I love a good messy MC, I think it was a good portrayal of mental health issues, specially anxiety and how that can wreak havoc on a persons life.
I appreciated also how Derek needed to distance himself from Xander. How he needed to make clear lines between care giver (in a medical role) and supportive partner, even though doing so was incredibly difficult for both of them.
The spicy scenes were 🔥🔥🔥 I have to admit I didn’t actually read the first books in this series 🤷♀️ but I definitely will be going back to read the others. I’m super interested in Seven and Mollys story!
Tropes:
✨Hurt/comfort
✨Virgin MC
✨Found Family
✨Anxiety
emotional
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I have been waiting for Xander's story since the very first book, and boy did Saxon deliver! What a beautiful story of mental health, anxiety, abandonment, and the ultimate happily ever after for our sweet, broken Z. Xander and Derek fought so hard for their HEA, and it took some tough love and hard work. But oh my goodness it was the best ending for the Bertha boys.
“Seven, Molly, Madden, Rush, Christian, Gabe. Those men are all in your life. You’re not alone anymore, Xander. You’re not waiting for your person. You’ve found them.” His pink tongue swipes over his lips. “And you?” “I’m already yours in all the ways I can be.”
Xander has been dealing with abandonment issues throughout this entire series, and I hoped that he would find someone who knew that they would have to accept not only Xander but also Seven and Molly and the rest of the Bertha boys. And Derek was the perfect man for the job. He set healthy boundaries and stood firm while waiting so patiently for Xander to get the help that he so desperately needed. And it was so good to finally see Xander truly want to get better, not only for Derek but also for himself.
I’m unhappy. So fucking deeply unhappy. For years, I had myself convinced that things were fine, that I was functioning the way I was supposed to, but it was all a lie. My angry spirals, my medical episodes, that deep need for attention that goes beyond a want and turns into a toxic rage … it’s not fun anymore. The problem is that the attention I get from those things gives me so much dopamine it’s become an addiction. I don’t want to live like that.
The separation: oh man, this hurt. However, I knew that they needed that time to get to know each other and slowly lean into a relationship for Xander's sake. Derek needed to remove himself from Xander's life as a professional if he wanted to become Z's partner. Xander needed to know that Derek wasn't going anywhere and that Derek would always come back to him, no matter what their relationship was. They needed that time to adjust to being together as friends first before they became boyfriends. I didn't necessarily think that the doctor/patient relationship was something that needed to be brought up over and over again, but I did agree with the pacing of their relationship. Don't get me wrong, it made me cry when Xander lashed out at Derek or when Derek pulled away from Xander. But it was a necessary evil.
Xander deserves someone who’ll make him their whole world. Who’ll give him all the attention and love he deserves. I can’t be that person. Not right now. But damn if I don’t wish every day that I could be.
Saxon really took the time to let us into Xander's anxiety in this book, and it was extremely hard to read about. It broke my heart to read his feelings about himself and his life. His feelings about Seven and Molly. His feelings about Derek. And how he felt unworthy of everyone. It was gut-wrenching, and I cried multiple times while reading this book. But Saxon showed the things our brains go through when we feel like we don't deserve things in our life. Xander went through a horrible childhood, and Saxon didn't hold back in telling us everything he lived through. It showed us why Xander lashed out and said horrible things to the people he loved, but it also showed us how kind and gentle and caring he could be to those same people. He was a ball of anxiety wrapped in abandonment issues, and it was overwhelming to reside in his brain. But it truly made his happy ending even sweeter because we finally saw how much he truly deserved Derek and his found family. We saw how hard he worked to be able to get to that point. We saw how much he and Derek both wanted to find their happiness together.
Derek is the stability we need in our lives, and he’s everything else I need as well. It’s a relief to know that I don’t have to be strong anymore. But I’ll choose to be because Derek deserves to be loved the way he loves me. I’m going to spend my life doing exactly that.
I could go on for days about this book, about Xander's growth, about Derek's patience, about the found family, but I'll leave it at this. Everyone in life deserves to be happy, no matter what they have experienced. Everyone deserves to be loved. This series was a beautiful reminder of that.
“I’m coming back to you, bug. Always. Don’t forget that.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Child abuse, Mental illness, Abandonment
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Might be my favorite series finale ever. Beautiful story with great mental heath rep. And the found family here, as throughout the series,
Is top tier.
Is top tier.
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes