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courtofbingereading's review against another edition
5.0
***Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Teen for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review***
“I can’t find the words to explain myself or to tell her that just because I’m not slamming things or crying doesn’t mean I’m not hurting any less.”
Prepare to feel all of the emotions with this stunningly heart-wrenching contemporary novel. This is the first book I have read by Abigail Johnson, and now I’m scrambling to add all of her others to my TBR list. That is how much I love her writing.
Even if I Fall is a story about the aftermath of a murder conviction. Brooke Covington’s brother, Jason, confessed to killing his best friend, Cal, a year ago. Ever since that fateful day, Brooke and her family’s lives have been irrevocably changed. Brooke and her younger sister, Laura, are now homeschooled due to being bullied and ostracized at school. Brooke’s mom hides her pain by acting as if Jason is just away at college while also taking off on random runs throughout the day. Brooke’s father spends all of his time in the basement working. Laura has shut down emotionally and physically. All she ever does is listen to music or watch TV on her phone. Needless to say, Brooke feels lonely. No one wants to speak about Jason or what happened that fateful night, but Brooke needs to; she’s plagued by nightmares of the various possibilities of that night. She’s desperately trying to reconcile the brother she knows and loves with this version of him that has committed a heinous crime.
There doesn’t seem to be anyone who can relate to Brooke--except Heath, Cal’s brother. At first, Brooke feels undeniable guilt when she sees Heath on the side of the road with his broken-down truck. How can she feel sad about her life when she still has her brother and he doesn’t? How can she feel happy knowing her brother took away his?
After a few encounters, Brooke and Heath find themselves drawn to the other. No one else quite understands their respective situations. Together they learn how to navigate the rocky terrain of their brothers and learn that they aren't a reflection of their siblings.
I can’t say enough great things about this book. Johnson’s words convey such raw, real feelings that I was brought to tears...numerous times. The love Brooke has for her family is nothing short of beautiful. Her dedication, selflessness, and grief were written so incredibly well that I actually felt her internal struggles. I honestly cannot imagine how I would act if I were in her shoes.
This is such a phenomenal story about grief, guilt, shame, and forgiveness. Even if I Fall explores how everyone navigates these emotions in vastly different ways that can actually be harmful to others. Some people shut down like Laura in the face of trauma, but shutting down can hurt those around you who need to vocalize their feelings such as Brooke.
However, this is also a story about not letting someone’s past dictate your own future. When this book starts, Brooke has given up on her ice-skating dreams for her family even though deep down she clings to a kernel of hope that maybe one day she will skate professionally. One of my favorite themes from this book is forgiveness. Brooke has to learn how to forgive her whole family and herself for how they have dealt with this painful situation. But, she also has to learn that she never needed to take on her brother’s guilt for his actions. Though everyone in town acts as if she (and her whole family) too killed Cal, she didn’t. So why is she punishing herself for a crime she didn’t commit?
I could go on and on about this book--which is why you should read it. I need people to discuss with about this book! This story is truly beautiful and I cannot recommend it enough.
“I can’t find the words to explain myself or to tell her that just because I’m not slamming things or crying doesn’t mean I’m not hurting any less.”
Prepare to feel all of the emotions with this stunningly heart-wrenching contemporary novel. This is the first book I have read by Abigail Johnson, and now I’m scrambling to add all of her others to my TBR list. That is how much I love her writing.
Even if I Fall is a story about the aftermath of a murder conviction. Brooke Covington’s brother, Jason, confessed to killing his best friend, Cal, a year ago. Ever since that fateful day, Brooke and her family’s lives have been irrevocably changed. Brooke and her younger sister, Laura, are now homeschooled due to being bullied and ostracized at school. Brooke’s mom hides her pain by acting as if Jason is just away at college while also taking off on random runs throughout the day. Brooke’s father spends all of his time in the basement working. Laura has shut down emotionally and physically. All she ever does is listen to music or watch TV on her phone. Needless to say, Brooke feels lonely. No one wants to speak about Jason or what happened that fateful night, but Brooke needs to; she’s plagued by nightmares of the various possibilities of that night. She’s desperately trying to reconcile the brother she knows and loves with this version of him that has committed a heinous crime.
There doesn’t seem to be anyone who can relate to Brooke--except Heath, Cal’s brother. At first, Brooke feels undeniable guilt when she sees Heath on the side of the road with his broken-down truck. How can she feel sad about her life when she still has her brother and he doesn’t? How can she feel happy knowing her brother took away his?
After a few encounters, Brooke and Heath find themselves drawn to the other. No one else quite understands their respective situations. Together they learn how to navigate the rocky terrain of their brothers and learn that they aren't a reflection of their siblings.
I can’t say enough great things about this book. Johnson’s words convey such raw, real feelings that I was brought to tears...numerous times. The love Brooke has for her family is nothing short of beautiful. Her dedication, selflessness, and grief were written so incredibly well that I actually felt her internal struggles. I honestly cannot imagine how I would act if I were in her shoes.
This is such a phenomenal story about grief, guilt, shame, and forgiveness. Even if I Fall explores how everyone navigates these emotions in vastly different ways that can actually be harmful to others. Some people shut down like Laura in the face of trauma, but shutting down can hurt those around you who need to vocalize their feelings such as Brooke.
However, this is also a story about not letting someone’s past dictate your own future. When this book starts, Brooke has given up on her ice-skating dreams for her family even though deep down she clings to a kernel of hope that maybe one day she will skate professionally. One of my favorite themes from this book is forgiveness. Brooke has to learn how to forgive her whole family and herself for how they have dealt with this painful situation. But, she also has to learn that she never needed to take on her brother’s guilt for his actions. Though everyone in town acts as if she (and her whole family) too killed Cal, she didn’t. So why is she punishing herself for a crime she didn’t commit?
I could go on and on about this book--which is why you should read it. I need people to discuss with about this book! This story is truly beautiful and I cannot recommend it enough.
chrissyreadit's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
meg728's review
4.0
Even if I Fall by Abigail Johnson
This story is about a family who is devastated after dealing with a horrible tragedy caused but their son. Their lives have literally fallen apart and functioning while in major denial is probably the best way to describe them.
Following the story through the voice of their daughter Brooke who is trying to support her parents and sister, while dealing with being an outcast in her town due to the tragedy you can’t help but think something good has to come from all this misery she endures.
Brooke becomes friends with someone no one would ever expect and you can’t help but keep turning the pages to find out how these tragedy forms their futures.
A wonderfully written story of heartbreak, suffering and what the love of a family does to encourage the future.
This story is about a family who is devastated after dealing with a horrible tragedy caused but their son. Their lives have literally fallen apart and functioning while in major denial is probably the best way to describe them.
Following the story through the voice of their daughter Brooke who is trying to support her parents and sister, while dealing with being an outcast in her town due to the tragedy you can’t help but think something good has to come from all this misery she endures.
Brooke becomes friends with someone no one would ever expect and you can’t help but keep turning the pages to find out how these tragedy forms their futures.
A wonderfully written story of heartbreak, suffering and what the love of a family does to encourage the future.
thebevinsclan's review
5.0
I really enjoyed this novel. There were so many surprises in the plot that were so unexpected and only added to the great story. Brooke and her family experience such a tragedy when her brother Jason goes to prison for the supposed murder of his best friend Cal. Everyone tries to cope with Jason's imprisonment in the best way they can, avoidance and denial. Brooke meets Heath, Cal's brother, and her world changes...
I highly recommend this book. Abigail Johnson did a wonderful job with character and plot development.
I highly recommend this book. Abigail Johnson did a wonderful job with character and plot development.
kate_reads_literature's review
5.0
This was heavy and heart-breaking and yet small pockets of sweetness were able to catch me completely by surprise and put a smile on my face. I loved it and I definitely want to read more by this author, even if all her stories sound a little sad at the start.
makenna's review
5.0
Huge thanks to publisher and Netgalley for providing this arc in exchange for an honest review!
I read [b: The First To Know|33286378|The First to Know|Abigail Johnson|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1487206313s/33286378.jpg|54013632] by Abigail Johnson last year, absolutely fell in love, and knew immediately that I would be reading whatever book she put out next. I was a little worried that I wuld be disappointed by Even If I Fall because I had SUCH high expectations for it, but nope, it lived up to those expectations and more.
It's so weird, when I usually read contemporary books, my favorite part is always the romance, but when it comes to Abigail's books, my favorite part always seems to be the family of the main character. Not to say that I don't like the romance that is in the book, just that the family aspect is done so well that it becomes what I love about the book (which I honestly can not say about a lot of books for me). The struggle that Brooke goes through is nothing I have ever experienced, yet I was able to feel the pain and heartbreak that she went through knowing that her brother had murdered his best friend while also knowing that she still loved him because he was her brother and would always be her brother.
Speaking of family, no one in Brooke's family does well after Brooke's brother Jason goes to jail, and I liked the fact that you saw everyone dealing and grieving in different ways. Then, we also got to see a little bit from the other side of what happened when Brooke starts talking to the younger brother of the guy her brother murdered. It was so interesting to see Heath and Brooke connect over what they had both gone through; even though they are on different sides of what happened, the repercussions of what happened leave similar impacts on both of them.
This book broke my heart many times, and I loved it so so much. It is definitely one to look out for when it comes out on January 8th.
I read [b: The First To Know|33286378|The First to Know|Abigail Johnson|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1487206313s/33286378.jpg|54013632] by Abigail Johnson last year, absolutely fell in love, and knew immediately that I would be reading whatever book she put out next. I was a little worried that I wuld be disappointed by Even If I Fall because I had SUCH high expectations for it, but nope, it lived up to those expectations and more.
It's so weird, when I usually read contemporary books, my favorite part is always the romance, but when it comes to Abigail's books, my favorite part always seems to be the family of the main character. Not to say that I don't like the romance that is in the book, just that the family aspect is done so well that it becomes what I love about the book (which I honestly can not say about a lot of books for me). The struggle that Brooke goes through is nothing I have ever experienced, yet I was able to feel the pain and heartbreak that she went through knowing that her brother had murdered his best friend while also knowing that she still loved him because he was her brother and would always be her brother.
Speaking of family, no one in Brooke's family does well after Brooke's brother Jason goes to jail, and I liked the fact that you saw everyone dealing and grieving in different ways. Then, we also got to see a little bit from the other side of what happened when Brooke starts talking to the younger brother of the guy her brother murdered. It was so interesting to see Heath and Brooke connect over what they had both gone through; even though they are on different sides of what happened, the repercussions of what happened leave similar impacts on both of them.
This book broke my heart many times, and I loved it so so much. It is definitely one to look out for when it comes out on January 8th.
rachelabowen's review
5.0
I downloaded this book yesterday evening and read straight until my eyes hurt from trying to read more. I had to sleep in from staying up so late but this book was the first thing I reached for this morning and I didn’t set it down until I finished. The raw emotions portrayed in this book had me tearing up multiple times and never have I read a better execution of shifting emotions and feelings than with Brooke and Heath. They are everything. I could feel the uncertainty and guilt with every scene. And the mystery surrounding her brother unraveled at the perfect pace that kept me reading on to find out the whole story. Every emotion and scene were handled beautifully and I am awed by Abigail’s ability. I’ve read one other of her three books and loved that one as well and plan to read the other one soon. She’s quickly turned into an auto-buy author for me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.
rrats's review against another edition
4.0
I would give it 4.5 stars, great read with a heart-felt romance and about accepting the truth about someone. I liked the main character, she had a relatable personality and she dealt with her problems in a non-annoying manner.
lenoreo's review against another edition
4.0
https://celebrityreaders.com/2019/01/08/even-if-i-fall-by-abigail-johnson/
I received a free copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest and unbiased review/opinion.
3.5 stars — This one ended up being a little weird for me, b/c the thing I usually love most about a book is characters…read any of my reviews, it’s always about the characters. Normally if I can’t connect with them, the book is just not going to hold my attention. But this was my exception to the rule!! Because truly, the exploration of what a family would go through in these circumstances was fascinating, and kept my attention. Not to mention the mystery surrounding the murder! I had many theories, and it was interesting to learn pieces at a time. I fell for some red herrings, and definitely didn’t get it right in the end, but I appreciated the answers I got.
I have to say, if you’re going in expecting an epic romance (especially given that blurb), you’re going to be disappointed. The romance was very much a background story. And while it played heavily into Brooke’s journey, I would not categorize this story as a romance. I kind of wanted more to be honest.
What we got instead was a story about a family struggling with something unimaginable. I was sucked in right from the start, and I had a hard time putting it down. There was a point where my attention started to wane, but that could have been just me (either that or the pacing could have used some help).
Brooke was a character that I simultaneously felt a lot for, and had a hard time connecting with. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but occasionally it felt as though she wasn’t consistent…like I couldn’t figure her out, and certain things didn’t fit. She was so steeped in guilt, it was insanity. And her feelings were often kept close to the vest, even from the reader. The romance actually took me a bit by surprise as a result! Because of the nature of their relationship, it’s not like other romances where you read about their crush and butterflies and stuff. Their feelings for one another were mixed in with all these other feelings, and often the romantic feelings didn’t come to the forefront. It’s hard to describe. Obviously. But I never really got a good handle on what they felt for each other or why…or at least not as much as I would have wanted if this book had been more heavily a romance. I give it a pass because of everything else going on.
The book is full of very flawed characters. They all make such poor decisions, and are constantly hurting each other. It’s very hard to read about actually. Even Brooke was hurting people, from her family to Maggie. Which is why I’m still surprised I enjoyed the story so much. But in the end I really did enjoy watching the dynamics shift in Brooke’s family. When everything came to a head, it was satisfying to watch them start to figure things out and finally heal. While I hated the way they hurt each other, I thought each of their coping mechanisms were completely believable, and I understood how they got to the point they were at at the beginning of the story.
So if you’re desperate for a romance, I’d give this one a pass. But if the whole idea of how a family would cope when one of their own is guilty of murder fascinates you, then you’re looking at the right book. Again, it didn’t have any of my usual go-tos, but it made me think a lot and feel a lot, so I call it a success.
I received a free copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest and unbiased review/opinion.
3.5 stars — This one ended up being a little weird for me, b/c the thing I usually love most about a book is characters…read any of my reviews, it’s always about the characters. Normally if I can’t connect with them, the book is just not going to hold my attention. But this was my exception to the rule!! Because truly, the exploration of what a family would go through in these circumstances was fascinating, and kept my attention. Not to mention the mystery surrounding the murder! I had many theories, and it was interesting to learn pieces at a time. I fell for some red herrings, and definitely didn’t get it right in the end, but I appreciated the answers I got.
I have to say, if you’re going in expecting an epic romance (especially given that blurb), you’re going to be disappointed. The romance was very much a background story. And while it played heavily into Brooke’s journey, I would not categorize this story as a romance. I kind of wanted more to be honest.
What we got instead was a story about a family struggling with something unimaginable. I was sucked in right from the start, and I had a hard time putting it down. There was a point where my attention started to wane, but that could have been just me (either that or the pacing could have used some help).
Brooke was a character that I simultaneously felt a lot for, and had a hard time connecting with. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but occasionally it felt as though she wasn’t consistent…like I couldn’t figure her out, and certain things didn’t fit. She was so steeped in guilt, it was insanity. And her feelings were often kept close to the vest, even from the reader. The romance actually took me a bit by surprise as a result! Because of the nature of their relationship, it’s not like other romances where you read about their crush and butterflies and stuff. Their feelings for one another were mixed in with all these other feelings, and often the romantic feelings didn’t come to the forefront. It’s hard to describe. Obviously. But I never really got a good handle on what they felt for each other or why…or at least not as much as I would have wanted if this book had been more heavily a romance. I give it a pass because of everything else going on.
The book is full of very flawed characters. They all make such poor decisions, and are constantly hurting each other. It’s very hard to read about actually. Even Brooke was hurting people, from her family to Maggie. Which is why I’m still surprised I enjoyed the story so much. But in the end I really did enjoy watching the dynamics shift in Brooke’s family. When everything came to a head, it was satisfying to watch them start to figure things out and finally heal. While I hated the way they hurt each other, I thought each of their coping mechanisms were completely believable, and I understood how they got to the point they were at at the beginning of the story.
So if you’re desperate for a romance, I’d give this one a pass. But if the whole idea of how a family would cope when one of their own is guilty of murder fascinates you, then you’re looking at the right book. Again, it didn’t have any of my usual go-tos, but it made me think a lot and feel a lot, so I call it a success.