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Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Deep End by Ali Hazelwood

79 reviews

emotional hopeful inspiring reflective slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

LUKAS AND SCARLETT
I love these bb’s so much. Deep End was so frieken well written. I fear the imprint of this book on my heart will be permanent. The fact that it was only a single POV and I was dying to know what Lukas was thinking the entire time made this book that much better. A lot of ppl talked about this book being too spicy but I think Ali did such an amazing job of making sure the spice made sense to the plot and the development of their “non-relationship” until it was no longer non 😏 I really didn’t know how things were going to look by the end of this book but I love the way Ali brought things together. The growth of Scarlett was so beautiful. she deserves all the Olympic gold medals for how much work she put in to get her mental health right. Ugh so good, will probably re-read this at some point.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional hopeful medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

This may be my favorite Ali Hazelwood book ever, which is really saying something because I have given several of Ali's book five stars, and I devour everything she writes with a passion. She just has such a knack for writing chemistry, and her sex scenes are definitely the best I've ever read. This book stands out from Ali's incredible (and incredibly prolific) oeuvre for so many reasons: the world of competitive swimming and diving is sketched so well, Scarlett's mental blocks about diving resonate so deeply and feel so interesting, the growing relationship between Scarlett and Lukas is truly just swoon-worthy, the intimacy serves such a purpose and feels so rewarding, and every sex scene is the hottest thing I've ever read. I also loved the insights into family dynamics and about needing different things from romantic partners at different times in your life, and I just loved Scarlett and Lukas. I will be screaming from the rooftops about how much I love this book!!!

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
challenging dark funny reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Spoiler warning and content warnings for mention of BDSM and Kink culture.

I did enjoy this book. It was cute, and while Scarlett did present as a bit of a Mary Sue, she had enough issues to still be interesting.

For all that kink was mentioned, I kept reading waiting for ANY actual BDSM; cuffs, ties, flogger, maybe a crop? Except for a bit of rough sex, and light spanking, there was nothing. Housecoat belts work great to tie you to a headboard in a pinch!

I love that the List was a thing, and love they had a talk(s) about it. The actual discussion around consent, and that aspect was amazing. That Lukas never really broke trust in that regard was also amazing.

That being said, the list wasn't used. At all. Because if some light spanking and roleplaying is all BDSM is to you, I'm sorry, you are vanilla with 2 sprinkles. This cost the book a star for me, and I while I can understand wanting to bring it in, if you're going to touch on BDSM, PLEASE do it right. Don't dip your toe in and call it done. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: No
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I normally like Ali Hazelwood's books, but this just wasn't very good. For something trying so hard to be scandalous and provocative, it was just boring. 

The male lead has no personality and is literally just a body who occasionally told her what to do in the bedroom. We are forced to live inside the female leads head, where her anxious internal monologuing gets pretty grating almost immediately. 

They have a sexual relationship that is outlined in a contract, but they have no chemistry, no yearning. There was no romance. 

The B and C plots were either resolved in the laziest way possible (ie "I did a thing I couldn't do before, because I did, I guess") or weren't resolved very well (ie, "my friend treated me poorly and disrespected my relationship but she's my very nice best friend!"). Ali Hazelwood's STEM B plots are usually pretty solid, so idk what was going on here. 

Big miss for me. Disappointed because I normally really enjoy her books. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Complicated
Loveable characters: Complicated
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

⚠️There might be mild spoilers ahead, nothing specific but just my feelings about different parts of the book. 

First of all, I know that the spicy content of the book was a big discussion with some people but I didn’t mind it at all. Was it spicier than some of her other books? Maybe?? But there was more of a slow burn in this one in the beginning than some of her others so it balanced it out well.

My biggest issue was that the MMC was not very likable. Everyone kept gushing (esp the FMC) about how mature he was and how centered he was and I’m sorry, but just because you’re broody and careful w/ your words doesn’t make you mature. And he was an absolutely unhealthy jerk to her for a good portion of the book, constantly ignoring her and letting their communication be on his terms, even though they discussed when making their sexual agreement that she didn’t like being the one not in control in her life, just during sex. And yet for the entire book, he’s in control for every single aspect. And half of the time he’s being super unhealthy about it. 

The most healthy part of their relationship is the sex and I will die on that hill. I will say I think it’s odd that Ali focused on the lists and what they’re each into and then proceeded to have the intimate scenes in the book be fairly standard spice for adult romance books rather than exploring more of the specific things they discussed on the list. But that could’ve been an editor’s choice to make the book more marketable to a wider audience so I don’t know about that. 

The last 30 something pages saved this book for me because
the characters finally had good communication outside of their sex life. Seriously, how they managed to have such an easy time discussing boundaries and feelings when related to their sex, but not in simply just TEXTING each other drove me up the wall.


It was definitely a quick & fun read, I did enjoy reading it but out of all of my Ali Hazelwood books, this is definitely at the bottom of the list. 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny inspiring reflective medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Oh, okay. Wow. I went into this mostly blind aside from it being a sports romance. Never read another Ali book either. Which I will now immediately be amending.

I loved this book. Devoured it. Thought about it incessantly. Still thinking about it. Will probably continue to weeks from now! I think it may have unlocked something in my brain I have yet to fully comprehend. A new neural gateway, mayhaps...

To see the gradual way Scarlett and Lukas’ relationship develops into something more after the first scene of the two of them is so, just — right. I honestly didn’t know how we’d get there, but I dug my heels in tightly the first day I started the book until we get: The Email. And I know I’m locked into a book and a committed to a good romance if my stomach flips. And god, did it flip. I laid there wide awake at 2 AM with the email repeating in my head like a mantra. Like that meme of the cartoon figure lying on the floor staring at the ceiling surrounded by the puddle of their own tears and the same word repeating all around them. I knew then I was, like, deeply in big delulu love with Lukas Blomqvist.

I’ve never read trad pub BDSM before simply because I felt it so often lacked the healthiest aspects of it and the correct portrayal of control. But this book went above and beyond that. Lukas may be the catalyst that differentiates “punishments” (born from anxiety and born from sexual roles) for Scarlett, but to see her do all the work on her own and be proud of herself for getting there felt so empowering. The dynamic was so believable and so interesting to see evolve. I cannot stress how much I enjoyed every scene and the way it continued to deepen their connection, understanding, and respect for one another.

There are so, so many things I enjoyed about this book that I could keep writing this review until it resembled the shape and length of a novella, but I’ll rein in my enthusiasm and just say this: there’s an aching pit in my stomach now that I only get after finishing a 5-star read and I fear it  can only be filled by rereading this book another “million times!” (“Hyperbole?”). I’m in love with this book and am now a forever fan of Ali Hazelwood. ♡

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
emotional funny lighthearted medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings
dark emotional tense fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: Character
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Expand filter menu Content Warnings