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emmawhitmore's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
gretatimaite's review against another edition
2.0
This is a hard one to review, not to mention the rating. I've read so many good reviews on Instagram (or is it Bookstagram) that I was thinking that it's either a gem or a hype because the subject - female desire(s) - sounds hot and interesting. And it is hot; not sure about the other.
I don't want to devalue the experiences of the women or say that they aren't worthy of any attention or critical examination. But I feel slightly deceived. I read three examples of how women don't actually own their desires but shape them in relation to men's (maybe, very maybe with the exception of Lina). It's not a bad thing and I guess desire needs an object for it to arise. Yet, my problem isn't desires per sei but how they were framed and didn't receive any critical analysis. I mean, if it's enough for a non-fiction book to talk about desires without addressing their complexity and problematics then there's a problem unless there's someone who actually believes women have no sexuality? In this case, the mere fact that they do might really really really be world-shattering.
Also, I could mention the lack of intersectionality in this book but I deem it OK to have white women as research subjects as long as they aren't framed as the gold standard. It kinda was even if Lisa Taddeo tried to say there are many different experiences of desire. If so then I'd have liked some discussion of this or people who think (thought?) women are asexual will start believing that women's desires can be satisfied only within abusive relationships. Also, I do understand that Lisa Taddeo might have wanted to normalize 'unaccepted' desires but please analyze it or at least try to contextualize it rather than narrating in a fiction-like manner that's spiced up with erotic scenes.
- I'll just give a quick example that I think would have improved the book: in one of the interviews, Taddeo says that she had a larger sample but only these three women provided enough information for narration. Why not talk about the reasons women might be reluctant to talk about their desires and sexuality? In what ways, if any, were they different from these three women? How does it contribute to the social expectation(s) that a woman should be submissive, not prioritizing her own sexual pleasure?
Also, a quote that struck me as so funny I even screenshotted it (read the ebook):
'Some women want careers as much as or more than they want love but all Lina has ever wanted is to be fully in love and forever partnered, like a penguin.'
- Is it just me to whom this sounds absurd? Like a penguin? I could forgive if it's how Lina exemplified it but if it's the author's simile then she should check her facts because, well, not all penguins are forever partnered (I'm a bit extra on this one and I could overlook the facts for the sake of simile but don't want to)
○ Also, it shows the general complication of this book as it's not clear where the real experiences and expressions are and where fiction enters the scene
I don't want to devalue the experiences of the women or say that they aren't worthy of any attention or critical examination. But I feel slightly deceived. I read three examples of how women don't actually own their desires but shape them in relation to men's (maybe, very maybe with the exception of Lina). It's not a bad thing and I guess desire needs an object for it to arise. Yet, my problem isn't desires per sei but how they were framed and didn't receive any critical analysis. I mean, if it's enough for a non-fiction book to talk about desires without addressing their complexity and problematics then there's a problem unless there's someone who actually believes women have no sexuality? In this case, the mere fact that they do might really really really be world-shattering.
Also, I could mention the lack of intersectionality in this book but I deem it OK to have white women as research subjects as long as they aren't framed as the gold standard. It kinda was even if Lisa Taddeo tried to say there are many different experiences of desire. If so then I'd have liked some discussion of this or people who think (thought?) women are asexual will start believing that women's desires can be satisfied only within abusive relationships. Also, I do understand that Lisa Taddeo might have wanted to normalize 'unaccepted' desires but please analyze it or at least try to contextualize it rather than narrating in a fiction-like manner that's spiced up with erotic scenes.
- I'll just give a quick example that I think would have improved the book: in one of the interviews, Taddeo says that she had a larger sample but only these three women provided enough information for narration. Why not talk about the reasons women might be reluctant to talk about their desires and sexuality? In what ways, if any, were they different from these three women? How does it contribute to the social expectation(s) that a woman should be submissive, not prioritizing her own sexual pleasure?
Also, a quote that struck me as so funny I even screenshotted it (read the ebook):
'Some women want careers as much as or more than they want love but all Lina has ever wanted is to be fully in love and forever partnered, like a penguin.'
- Is it just me to whom this sounds absurd? Like a penguin? I could forgive if it's how Lina exemplified it but if it's the author's simile then she should check her facts because, well, not all penguins are forever partnered (I'm a bit extra on this one and I could overlook the facts for the sake of simile but don't want to)
○ Also, it shows the general complication of this book as it's not clear where the real experiences and expressions are and where fiction enters the scene
katykelly's review against another edition
4.0
Female sexuality - dark, provocative, leaves questions unanswered.
Three stories. Each could have been fiction, but each was actually told to a journalist and is a true account. The audio version gives each a different voice, each looking at different types of marriage and adult relationships, different balances of power within them, and how women use and are used for their sexuality, bodies and freedoms.
Each story could have its own book and whole set of discussions and notes. The 17-year-old who has an affair with an older (married) teacher. The unsatisfied married woman who has a passionate affair. The happily married wife whose husband watches her perform intimate acts on other people.
The stories are narrated by the women in the first person, Taddeo gives us very detailed, contextualised and immediate accounts making each feel very personal and sympathetic. There are moments of horror and a lot to empathise with.
I had questions as I listened, there were questions I felt Taddeo didn't answer, didn't cover with her subjects. Things I would have asked and covered in the book. Frustrating, as each story was covered in such detail. And I wanted to know more about the 'afters' as well.
The book did a great job of showing the vast variety of sexual experience women have, how easy it can be to 'allow' things to happen, explore areas we don't talk about or hide. Importantly, it brings them to the fore, whatever your opinion on them.
Loved the idea that this stemmed from real interviews with real women, I would love to see this become a trending genre, maybe with some companion pieces on the psychology of relationships (in this example), or endnotes to give scientific/sociological context.
One I won't forget easily. Excellent for the audio format with wonderful narrators and a narrative style that lends itself to being read aloud and consumed aurally.
Three stories. Each could have been fiction, but each was actually told to a journalist and is a true account. The audio version gives each a different voice, each looking at different types of marriage and adult relationships, different balances of power within them, and how women use and are used for their sexuality, bodies and freedoms.
Each story could have its own book and whole set of discussions and notes. The 17-year-old who has an affair with an older (married) teacher. The unsatisfied married woman who has a passionate affair. The happily married wife whose husband watches her perform intimate acts on other people.
The stories are narrated by the women in the first person, Taddeo gives us very detailed, contextualised and immediate accounts making each feel very personal and sympathetic. There are moments of horror and a lot to empathise with.
I had questions as I listened, there were questions I felt Taddeo didn't answer, didn't cover with her subjects. Things I would have asked and covered in the book. Frustrating, as each story was covered in such detail. And I wanted to know more about the 'afters' as well.
The book did a great job of showing the vast variety of sexual experience women have, how easy it can be to 'allow' things to happen, explore areas we don't talk about or hide. Importantly, it brings them to the fore, whatever your opinion on them.
Loved the idea that this stemmed from real interviews with real women, I would love to see this become a trending genre, maybe with some companion pieces on the psychology of relationships (in this example), or endnotes to give scientific/sociological context.
One I won't forget easily. Excellent for the audio format with wonderful narrators and a narrative style that lends itself to being read aloud and consumed aurally.
ummm_megan's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
robs320's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
fast-paced
4.0
lo_a's review against another edition
5.0
This book... It stays with you. You want to read it but not to fast, you feel it all and you don’t want to part from it too soon. Also the book teaches you. It teaches you that there is always something more, something else and that listening is a virtue.
I have important women in my life which are by no means perfect. This book made me appreciate them more.
I have important women in my life which are by no means perfect. This book made me appreciate them more.
wahriane's review against another edition
tense
medium-paced
0.25
I want to sacrifice this book and the person that gave it to me. Ironically I will need therapy to move on from this book.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Misogyny
chlsclrksn's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
An untarnished deep dive into women’s desire. I think this book will stay with me for a long time.