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4.25 AVERAGE
4.25 AVERAGE
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Death, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual assault, Terminal illness, Violence, Blood, Grief, Death of parent, Outing, Injury/Injury detail
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
This is one that has stuck with me and pops into my head frequently months after having finished it. It was beautifully written and deftly explored the complex topics of masculinity, trans experience, violence, intimacy, and how these topics intersect and overlap.
McBee has taken the old timey Becoming a Man cliché and turned it into one of the most empowering narratives of constructing and maintaining an identity in a world of quicksand gender norms and the desperation to belong.
Nevertheless, like all things personal and honest, it's got its fair share of shortcomings. Even though I have a massive soft spot for this narrative, some parts I strongly disagree with on a fundamental level: the failure to draw a deeper conclusion that the feeling of empowerment that the knowledge that you're able to stand your ground in a fight (as opposed to being a perpetual victim) brings is universal across the genders and has very little to do with masculine culture; the subterran implication that runs through the entire narrative that the drive to physically fight is something solely constrained to men; that the act of fighting for self-respect and self-defense is something constrained to the domain of masculinity... among others. A few points are left with an open end after being discussed which can often give it an apologist tone about some of the atrocities of toxic masculinity.
Nevertheless, the subject was well-researched and diversely referenced throughout... McBee does the academic legwork into the topic of masculinity for his readers and delivers the a his own personal introduction to the phenomenon while also showing us a very intimate side of himself: learning how to be a part of the institution he's writing about. All without getting mired down in inacessible jargon or a condescending tone.
Nevertheless, like all things personal and honest, it's got its fair share of shortcomings. Even though I have a massive soft spot for this narrative, some parts I strongly disagree with on a fundamental level: the failure to draw a deeper conclusion that the feeling of empowerment that the knowledge that you're able to stand your ground in a fight (as opposed to being a perpetual victim) brings is universal across the genders and has very little to do with masculine culture; the subterran implication that runs through the entire narrative that the drive to physically fight is something solely constrained to men; that the act of fighting for self-respect and self-defense is something constrained to the domain of masculinity... among others. A few points are left with an open end after being discussed which can often give it an apologist tone about some of the atrocities of toxic masculinity.
Nevertheless, the subject was well-researched and diversely referenced throughout... McBee does the academic legwork into the topic of masculinity for his readers and delivers the a his own personal introduction to the phenomenon while also showing us a very intimate side of himself: learning how to be a part of the institution he's writing about. All without getting mired down in inacessible jargon or a condescending tone.
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Sexual assault
I'm so thankful for the way McBee put into words so much of what I've often felt about masculinity. I don't know if I've ever felt as seen as I did reading this book. This is an important read, not just for other trans men, but for people of all genders who are trying to figure out what to do with the social power they've been given.
3.5 and ALMOST 4...Had a hard time getting into it (a book about masculinity? Eye roll), but ended up really into the story and what the author had to say.