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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
I came for family where agreement was more important than most anything else. I excelled at piano, violin, viola, tennis, math and science...in essence, the perfect Chinese kid. But I'm American. And I have years of therapy bills to show that this form of parenting is awful.
The main thing I hated about the book were the stereotypes. Over and over again we were told the chinese way of doing things was the best...end of story. No room for anything else. It was annoying and repetitive.
I liked how it was almost a coming of age story for the mom. I only wished that there had been a doctor visit for a clearly diagnosed case of OCD.
The main thing I hated about the book were the stereotypes. Over and over again we were told the chinese way of doing things was the best...end of story. No room for anything else. It was annoying and repetitive.
I liked how it was almost a coming of age story for the mom. I only wished that there had been a doctor visit for a clearly diagnosed case of OCD.
I have been curious about this book since it came out, but this is the first time I've had the chance to read it. It was a quick read. Very quick. I enjoyed the beginning where she explains why and how she is a 'Chinese mother.' I agree with her reasoning for the most part too. We don't expect enough from our kids. They should be pushed and they should strive for the very best. How she went about this was cray-cray! I couldn't not be as...devoted... to my children's lessons etc. I truly wonder how she managed to do all that with her children, have a job, and go on these vacations. That in itself is amazing and she deserves a round of applause for that.
Side note: this book focuses a lot on piano and violin lessons and has less to do with school and learning overall.
I can't help but feel like she could get away with the things that she did/does because she comes from a Chinese family. I also think she uses that as an excuse to be stubborn, mean, and generally awful to her kids. There are scenes where she is called out by her kids and I can picture her trying to backtrack in her head. No I wasn't mocking your popo, etc.
Or maybe I'm wrong. I am looking at her family through my 'western' eyes. Either way it is a quick and interesting read.
Side note: this book focuses a lot on piano and violin lessons and has less to do with school and learning overall.
I can't help but feel like she could get away with the things that she did/does because she comes from a Chinese family. I also think she uses that as an excuse to be stubborn, mean, and generally awful to her kids. There are scenes where she is called out by her kids and I can picture her trying to backtrack in her head. No I wasn't mocking your popo, etc.
Or maybe I'm wrong. I am looking at her family through my 'western' eyes. Either way it is a quick and interesting read.
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
tense
fast-paced
This book did make me laugh out loud because the author makes fun of herself…sort of. I read this primarily because a lot of my students are Chinese and I wanted to get a sense of what some of them (may) experience at home. Eye-opening to say the least.
The afterward sheds light on how different countries received and perceived her book and that was fascinating as well.
The afterward sheds light on how different countries received and perceived her book and that was fascinating as well.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying
I found this to be an interesting peek into someone else's completely-different-than-mine family. And it was an entertaining read in its own way (keeping in mind that it's a memoir, not an instruction manual). It's easy to dislike the author's methods -- heck, her antagonistic language makes it easy to dislike her, too. But there were parts I thought had merit, values I wouldn't mind passing on to my kids. For example, "Never complain or make excuses. If something seems unfair at school, just prove yourself by working twice as hard and being twice as good."
I was a little surprised to see that she wrote this "memoir" before her daughters graduated high school. Perhaps that's the reason she can't figure out how to end the book...? Why not wait a few years and give a fuller picture -- and also allow the girls to get past those rough teenage years before sharing their secrets with the world?
On the other hand, the "Coda" says she showed every page to her husband and daughters -- that the girls "contributed" and insisted on changes. "Some parts I had to rewrite two dozen times before I could satisfy both Sophia and Lulu." While that makes me feel less sorry for the daughters, it also contradicts the advice of most writing instructors. Does this writing-by-committee change the story? What was it like before she consulted her family?
It's an interesting read if you want to see what all the fuss is about, but you can skip it without missing anything of ground-breaking significance.
I was a little surprised to see that she wrote this "memoir" before her daughters graduated high school. Perhaps that's the reason she can't figure out how to end the book...? Why not wait a few years and give a fuller picture -- and also allow the girls to get past those rough teenage years before sharing their secrets with the world?
On the other hand, the "Coda" says she showed every page to her husband and daughters -- that the girls "contributed" and insisted on changes. "Some parts I had to rewrite two dozen times before I could satisfy both Sophia and Lulu." While that makes me feel less sorry for the daughters, it also contradicts the advice of most writing instructors. Does this writing-by-committee change the story? What was it like before she consulted her family?
It's an interesting read if you want to see what all the fuss is about, but you can skip it without missing anything of ground-breaking significance.
Loved it. Emotional, insightful, and humorous. The author clearly loves her daughters. But she has high expectations. Refreshing in today's American culture where so many parents want to be friends to their kids and as a result set the bar way too low. I don't think the author came across as abusive in anyway. She's willing to paint herself as the antagonist and does struggle with whether she's doing right by her kids.
Probably one of my favourite memoirs of all time. The irresistible story is touching and relatable, interspersed with emotional scenes and a humourous outlook on the experiences many of us have during childhood.
It offers a new outlook on hyperparenting that proves that it may not be as black and white as it seems, and it works great as an introduction to the topic or as a basic research source.
I would recommend this book to all parents, regardless of race or parenting styles.
It offers a new outlook on hyperparenting that proves that it may not be as black and white as it seems, and it works great as an introduction to the topic or as a basic research source.
I would recommend this book to all parents, regardless of race or parenting styles.
I found this to be a fascinating read. I loved reading about a clash of cultures and how brutally honest the author was about her parenting. While I certainly didn't agree with everything she said or did, I could still appreciate the weaknesses she pointed out with Western parenting. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother provides lots of food for thought and is a book that I know will stay with me for a long time.
Four Stars..
Four Stars..
I liked this book, which only takes about two hours to read, not because I find Chua's extreme parenting style particularly admirable, but because her extreme positions point out the absurdities of other extreme positions. Somewhere in the ensuing discussion we can find a happy middle ground. Chua's book points out the benefits of teaching children to work hard, even when it's not fun, the importance of individual attention in education, and the effect of high standards on work product and outcomes. I've had my children in progressive schools that advocated a "follow the child approach". That produced a child who couldn't read or write very well because she didn't think those things were fun because for her they were harder than math. I'm not sure what my son got out of building a sugar cube model of the White House, but I am sure that his lack of ability to sink a lot of shots in basketball was related to practice and not bad luck. Yes, Chua's ideas seem crazy, but it also seems crazy to me to be upset that your child didn't get a big part in the school musical because that part went to a more talented child who you don't think should have gotten a big part because she was already class president and big roles should be distributed equally. Sometimes your best isn't good enough and sometimes you have to make sacrifices to achieve something bigger. Chua's book makes these points in a hyperbolic way, but not without some underlying truths. It can be thought provoking and maddening all at the same time.
I went to school with someone who was raised by her mother like this. Not surprisingly, she turned out to be a successful pediatrician. But now she's in jail because she murdered her mother. True story. She was all I could think of while reading this book.
I found Amy Chua to be pretentioius, smug and emotionally abusive. Pushing your children to excel is one thing, but degrading and humiliating them is another. Perhaps in Chua's world view, life is not something meant to be enjoyed, and in my western mindset, I can't wrap my brain around that concept. Does she get any joy out of her family or her life? Sad, sad, sad.
I found Amy Chua to be pretentioius, smug and emotionally abusive. Pushing your children to excel is one thing, but degrading and humiliating them is another. Perhaps in Chua's world view, life is not something meant to be enjoyed, and in my western mindset, I can't wrap my brain around that concept. Does she get any joy out of her family or her life? Sad, sad, sad.
Crudely sketched ranting of a sociopathic mother who tries to pin her aberrant behavior on "traditional Chinese parenting." Setting aside Chua's psychological problems, one is inclined to expect better writing from a hot-shot law professor.