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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
I have to say, some of the stuff Amy wrote, I agree with. I don't think people do their children any favors if all they do is tell the children how awesome they are without really demanding that their children honestly give something their very best effort; and the children grow up thinking they are a special little snowflake deserving of special treatment as an adult. That's not preparing your children for the real world, especially in today's hostile competitive job market where half-assed does not cut the mustard. I think she could have stood to be more tactful with her children, though.
This woman is just as crazy as I'd suspected, but she was funnier than I thought she would be (the chapter on her dogs was particularly amusing). That said, I feel sorry for the editor who probably got a train wreck of a first draft because the writing goes all over the place, zooming from topic to topic. Also, the author needed to reflect on why she was so driven to make her daughters succeed and why it's so important to make them succeed in a way that is distinctly Western. She also needed to think about the meaning of success and what it means to her, her parents, her husband, and her children. Just not enough depth.
I already felt like a bad enough mother. I didn't need any help.
I just couldn't finish this book. All the stories seemed the same, and I had other books I would rather have been reading.....so I stopped. Maybe I will pick it up at some other time because at our book club it sounded like it gets better.
This book actually surprised me; I was expecting to be put off by the writer's arrogance which is what came across in the articles & excerpts I read prior to actually reading the book, but I was most struck by her humility and even self-deprecation. Parenting is such a messy, imperfect business, and Chua writes honestly about her decision to parent in a particular way (the Chinese way) and what she learns from this. She admits eventually that choice is important for older children but holds firm to her argument that younger children do not need choice and need to be pushed to attain excellence in order to discover their true abilities. Will I never allow a sleepover or make Olivia practice piano for 6 hours a day in lieu of a one hour playdate as Chua did? No. But reading this did make me see the ways in which at times Western parents may have made things a little too easy for their children and that being pushed is not always such a bad thing. I read this with a group of friends who are mothers and I am very interested in their opinions. I have a 2 1/2 year old so I've had limited decisions to make on her behalf; in the future I think I will think more seriously what choices to allow as a result of reading this book:) I enjoyed it.
I hate this right out of the gate, but as the story went on I began to like it. Don't get me wrong, Amy Chua is completely insane, but I actually found a lot of it reminiscent of my own childhood. Not to her crazy level, however. Can't wait to discuss this one at book club!!
Based on what I'd heard about it, I went into this book expecting it to be preachy and self-congratulatory-- and was pleasantly surprised. Chua does a great job explaining the mindset of "tyrannical" parents, and portrays them in a sympathetic way while at the same time conceding that there are limitations to that parenting style (as there are to all singular parenting styles, really-- including what she calls the "Western" style). By the day after I finished it, I'd already recommended it to three people, including my own mother.
I liked it more than I thought I would. It was definitely interesting. It made me want to work harder as a mother- but not quite tiger mom style!!!
It is very difficult to like the author of this book, and at times it seems as if she is going out of her way to make herself seem unlikable. That being said, the stories were interesting, at times appalling, but always kept you waiting to find out how the story ends (ie, the result of the relationship that Chua has to her daughters).
Having grown up with a father that outdid Chua in many of his outrageous parenting techniques, I have to admit that I agree with the concept of her parenting method to an extent. The idea of expecting something from your children, in both behavior and academic/intellectual performance is not as ghastly as some portray it to be. Having taught high school students, I believe that kids, for the most part, will live up to the expectations that are set out for them, but almost never do more than they are required to do if given the choice. Chua simply believes in her children and expects them to perform to the best of their ability. Where I disagree however, is in the idea that excellence must come at the cost of everything else. I believe that she could have struck a better balance between what she wished for her daughters to accomplish and some of the simple pleasures of childhood.
One of my favorite quotes in the books is Chua's answer to the oft repeated question "are you doing this for yourself or your children?" The implication, of course, is that she makes the kids do things they don't want to do for the sake of her own selfish desires for them. To this, Chua puts the same question to Western parents. Do you not require anything of your children simply because you don't want to put yourself through the uncomfortable process of actually parenting? It seems to me that Chua's observation that, in a lot of ways, the "hands-off" approach to parenting is more often a result of parents that don't want to put in the time of "forcing" their kids to do something, even if it would result in a child that becomes extremely gifted in a certain _________ (instrument, subject, sport, etc).
Having grown up with a father that outdid Chua in many of his outrageous parenting techniques, I have to admit that I agree with the concept of her parenting method to an extent. The idea of expecting something from your children, in both behavior and academic/intellectual performance is not as ghastly as some portray it to be. Having taught high school students, I believe that kids, for the most part, will live up to the expectations that are set out for them, but almost never do more than they are required to do if given the choice. Chua simply believes in her children and expects them to perform to the best of their ability. Where I disagree however, is in the idea that excellence must come at the cost of everything else. I believe that she could have struck a better balance between what she wished for her daughters to accomplish and some of the simple pleasures of childhood.
One of my favorite quotes in the books is Chua's answer to the oft repeated question "are you doing this for yourself or your children?" The implication, of course, is that she makes the kids do things they don't want to do for the sake of her own selfish desires for them. To this, Chua puts the same question to Western parents. Do you not require anything of your children simply because you don't want to put yourself through the uncomfortable process of actually parenting? It seems to me that Chua's observation that, in a lot of ways, the "hands-off" approach to parenting is more often a result of parents that don't want to put in the time of "forcing" their kids to do something, even if it would result in a child that becomes extremely gifted in a certain _________ (instrument, subject, sport, etc).
Discussing the best way to raise children often brings up other questions, like what makes life fulfilling? What does it mean to be happy? This is a comic diatribe against what the author views as lazy, mainstream parents who never push their kids, and who believe in having fun and sleepovers instead of 3-6 hours of daily music practice and homework sessions. The author, who calls her style of parenting "Chinese" but claims it's often practiced by different immigrant groups, believes in hard work and practice as a way to ensure future success. Success means getting into a good school, winning music competitions, and, above all, serving your parents and making them proud. She doesn't believe that being happy is important, and I don't really get that.
It's hard to argue against instilling the values of practice and hard work, and that kids who learn to play the violin (and take it seriously) have some sort of advantage over kids who only play their iPods. But, then again: why would you discount the value and artistry of weird, outsider rock music made by untrained adults who just pick up and whack away at the guitar? That's the kind of thing I like. It was hard to figure out how serious she intended this to be; some of the remarks are over-the-top and self-aware and very funny, and she seems to hold herself at a distance from the crazier things she describes herself as saying and doing while raising her children.
It's hard to argue against instilling the values of practice and hard work, and that kids who learn to play the violin (and take it seriously) have some sort of advantage over kids who only play their iPods. But, then again: why would you discount the value and artistry of weird, outsider rock music made by untrained adults who just pick up and whack away at the guitar? That's the kind of thing I like. It was hard to figure out how serious she intended this to be; some of the remarks are over-the-top and self-aware and very funny, and she seems to hold herself at a distance from the crazier things she describes herself as saying and doing while raising her children.