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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
memoir of an American Chinese mother married to a Jewish man. She raises her daughters in the Chinese way--no playdates or sports, many hours of violin and piano. Daughters are excellent musicians but at what cost? Discusses the differences between Chinese and Western styles of parenting. Book received much criticism of her harsh childraising strategies, but I found her to be honest in her approach and not trying to hide why she preferred her style and why it didn’t work with her younger daughter.
It was very well written, but I felt that Chua learned very little over the course of the book, which frustrated me deeply.
The controversy over this book was so big that I just had to read it. An easy and interesting read. She makes some valid points and while I certainly wouldn't want to be her daughter, (or want her raising mine!) part of her message did seem to get lost in all the backlash against her and the book.
I actually found this book quite enjoyable. When taking a glimpse into another culture and style of parenting, I always find things to admire and other things to, well, not admire.
The media buzz around this book made it seem more extreme than it really is, and distracted from the fact that it is a memoir, not a parenting manual.
The media buzz around this book made it seem more extreme than it really is, and distracted from the fact that it is a memoir, not a parenting manual.
I am not a fan of non-fiction writing so I ask people for recommendations. My friend’s husband start reading Battle Hymn in the fall and finished it in a weekend. I heard nothing but negative responses to the book. The press was complaining that this woman, Amy Chua, is a overbearing Chinese mother who tells people how to raise their children the Chinese way. I’m not looking for mothering tips, but I thought it would be interesting to read a memoir about raising children since I have four of my own. My friend read the book too once her husband finished and she thought I would like it.
I started reading and I have been laughing for most of the first few chapters. Chua makes comparisons between Chinese parents and Western (American) families. I found some of the things she had to say about Chinese parents similar to what my own West Indian parents said when I was growing up. My parents never stopped telling me I was American so it makes sense that I am one of the Western parents Chua talks about in her writing.
The book begins when her daughters are born. She touches briefly on her own upbringing, education, and her marriage to her Jewish husband. The premise is that she and her husband, Jed, agreed that they would raise the children Jewish if she could raise them the “Chinese Way”. Neither one of them knew what it meant at the time, but as it turns out Amy wanted to raise successful daughters. So, before the girls turned three, they could read and they could play piano. Amy is determined to have her daughters be the most successful musicians she can make them even if it means that she has to yell, scream, punish, threaten and work tireless hours to do.
I started reading and I have been laughing for most of the first few chapters. Chua makes comparisons between Chinese parents and Western (American) families. I found some of the things she had to say about Chinese parents similar to what my own West Indian parents said when I was growing up. My parents never stopped telling me I was American so it makes sense that I am one of the Western parents Chua talks about in her writing.
The book begins when her daughters are born. She touches briefly on her own upbringing, education, and her marriage to her Jewish husband. The premise is that she and her husband, Jed, agreed that they would raise the children Jewish if she could raise them the “Chinese Way”. Neither one of them knew what it meant at the time, but as it turns out Amy wanted to raise successful daughters. So, before the girls turned three, they could read and they could play piano. Amy is determined to have her daughters be the most successful musicians she can make them even if it means that she has to yell, scream, punish, threaten and work tireless hours to do.
I'm shocked that this book was marketed as a book on parenting. It's a mother memoir, which parodies (or mocks?) contemporary American memoirs on odd/unhappy/abusive childhoods. Chua basically cops to her dashed hopes of writing the prototypical Chinese American mother-daughter saga after reading the work of Maxine Hong Kingston, Amy Tan, etc., and she is to those works what Sex and the City is to Margaret Atwood. I think the snarky retelling of her daughter's girlhoods seeks to preempt anything negative they may say about their own upbringing. Having said that, I think it would be fun to have a glass of wine with Amy Chua and some self-deprecating egoist chatter.
Wasn't so upset by her parenting as by her. She seemed to not understand Chinese or Western parenting and chose to find the worst most stereotypical in both. I can see she loves her daughters but she needs therapy about her own upbringing, parenting, and her views on cultural norms.
I know that this book is polarizing. I read "Hillbilly Elegy" first, and then realized that Amy Chua was JD Vance's "mentor," which left a little bit of a negative impression on me (loved the story of Hillbilly Elegy, just didn't love the author himself...), which then framed a lot of my thinking about Amy Chua. I think this book probably took a lot of courage to write and probably (maybe?) therapeutic for her... definitely not my style of parenting; however, I do see some rays of light with regards to the value that her children can take away from it. From another perspective... Her own kids have shared that they would raise their own children similarly, but with a little more leniency. Here's the thing - kids can't always articulate their feelings, and we know that memories fade over time, but the emotional footprint remains. So while I see the value of instilling hard work and pride, I feel confident there's a balance to be had, and maybe somewhere between "western parenting" and "Chinese parenting" we can find some kind of harmony. ALSO - Would love to know more about her husband and his whole thought process. I feel like he had more to say, but right now I just wanted to tell him to grow a spine!
Horrifying at times. I constantly checked the cover to double check that it was in fact non-fiction. It can't help but make you consider your own childhood. I don't agree with most of what Chua says, but it is interesting nonetheless.
funny
reflective
fast-paced