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dizzy_reception's review
5.0
I originally checked this book out because I was publicly shamed about 5 years ago. I thank God everyday that I was not shamed on the Internet, but just in the small community where I was raised. However, even that relatively small shaming completely wrecked my self-esteem and made me afraid to leave my home.
I have been getting my life back together, and I picked up this book in hopes it would have some kind of advice. This book has some interesting interviews and case studies that help you feel as if you are not alone, but it is not a self-help book. If you are looking for tips on how to recover from a public shaming, this won't necessarily give you that.
However, I did finish this book feeling like I learned a lot. It made me examine my own thoughts on online shamings (I don't participate in online shamings and never did, but I have found myself silently judging). It made me realize that a lot of public shamings get so ramped up on the Internet because people are rewarded through likes and interactions with their pages. It might not always be a monetary incentive, but when a person participates in a public shaming they are part of a feedback loop that helps the shamer feel like they are doing the right thing and are morally superior.
Since this book has been published, many other people have gone through Internet shame campaigns, and the vitriol seems to have gotten worse. The most alarming instance of this happened very shortly after publication when GamerGate was released upon the world. Scumbag YouTubers made their entire careers off of public shaming during GamerGate We have also seen the rise of cringe compilations and accounts like Libs of Tiktok. Furthermore, public shaming has become even more politicized since the publication of this book.
The rise of "cringe culture" is part of the reason I gave this book 5 stars despite it not being exactly what I thought it would be. The message of this book is more important now than ever. There are people now who proudly exclaim "Bring Back Bullying", and as the author stated towards the end of the book, if people have to constantly censor themselves out of fear of public shaming, then our culture is going to become very bland.
I also found it interesting that public shaming doesn't just impact the shamee. It sends the message that you must conform to what the hive mind believes or else. It silences new ideas and is often used as a tool to further oppress marginalized groups. People who happen to even share the same name as a shamee could have their careers and livelihoods destroyed because more and more employers conduct Google searches on potential employees.
Those of you who say things like, "Well just think before you post" have absolutely said something online that could be interpreted in the worst possible way. There is not a single person among us who hasn't made a joke that didn't land or said something to a friend that could be misinterpreted by an outsider. Next time you want to shame someone and send an Internet army after them, consider the skeletons in your closet, or at the very least ask yourself why you feel your actions are a benefit to society because the research shows that the shaming is rarely effective.
I have been getting my life back together, and I picked up this book in hopes it would have some kind of advice. This book has some interesting interviews and case studies that help you feel as if you are not alone, but it is not a self-help book. If you are looking for tips on how to recover from a public shaming, this won't necessarily give you that.
However, I did finish this book feeling like I learned a lot. It made me examine my own thoughts on online shamings (I don't participate in online shamings and never did, but I have found myself silently judging). It made me realize that a lot of public shamings get so ramped up on the Internet because people are rewarded through likes and interactions with their pages. It might not always be a monetary incentive, but when a person participates in a public shaming they are part of a feedback loop that helps the shamer feel like they are doing the right thing and are morally superior.
Since this book has been published, many other people have gone through Internet shame campaigns, and the vitriol seems to have gotten worse. The most alarming instance of this happened very shortly after publication when GamerGate was released upon the world. Scumbag YouTubers made their entire careers off of public shaming during GamerGate We have also seen the rise of cringe compilations and accounts like Libs of Tiktok. Furthermore, public shaming has become even more politicized since the publication of this book.
The rise of "cringe culture" is part of the reason I gave this book 5 stars despite it not being exactly what I thought it would be. The message of this book is more important now than ever. There are people now who proudly exclaim "Bring Back Bullying", and as the author stated towards the end of the book, if people have to constantly censor themselves out of fear of public shaming, then our culture is going to become very bland.
I also found it interesting that public shaming doesn't just impact the shamee. It sends the message that you must conform to what the hive mind believes or else. It silences new ideas and is often used as a tool to further oppress marginalized groups. People who happen to even share the same name as a shamee could have their careers and livelihoods destroyed because more and more employers conduct Google searches on potential employees.
Those of you who say things like, "Well just think before you post" have absolutely said something online that could be interpreted in the worst possible way. There is not a single person among us who hasn't made a joke that didn't land or said something to a friend that could be misinterpreted by an outsider. Next time you want to shame someone and send an Internet army after them, consider the skeletons in your closet, or at the very least ask yourself why you feel your actions are a benefit to society because the research shows that the shaming is rarely effective.
happylilkt's review
3.0
This was much more frivolous and meandering than I expected, but it was highly readable. There is a LOT of profanity and I can't really recommend it, though I did read it in basically one sitting.
mkepper's review
5.0
Wow. Totally recommend. Might be my top read of the year. Changed the way I view social media
“It feels like they want an apology, but it’s a lie.” Mike Daisey and I were sitting in a Brooklyn restaurant. He was a big man and he frequently dabbed the perspiration from his face with a handkerchief that was always within his reach. “It’s a lie because they don’t want an apology,” he said. “An apology is supposed to be a communion—a coming together. For someone to make an apology, someone has to be listening. They listen and you speak and there’s an exchange. That’s why we have a thing about accepting apologies. There’s a power exchange that happens. But they don’t want an apology.” He looked at me. “What they want is my destruction. What they want is for me to die. They will never say this because it’s too histrionic. But they never want to hear from me again for the rest of my life, and while they’re never hearing from me, they have the right to use me as a cultural reference point whenever it services their ends. That’s how it would work out best for them. They would like me to never speak again.” He paused. “I’d never had the opportunity to be the object of hate before. The hard part isn’t the hate. It’s the object.”
Excerpt From
So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Jon Ronson
“We have always had some influence over the justice system, but for the first time in 180 years—since the stocks and the pillory were outlawed—we have the power to determine the severity of some punishments. And so we have to think about what level of mercilessness we feel comfortable with. I, personally, no longer take part in the ecstatic public condemnation of people unless they’ve committed a transgression that has an actual victim, and even then not as much as I probably should. I miss the fun a little. But it feels like when I became a vegetarian. I missed the steak, although not as much as I’d anticipated, but I could no longer ignore the slaughterhouse”
Excerpt From
So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Jon Ronson
“It feels like they want an apology, but it’s a lie.” Mike Daisey and I were sitting in a Brooklyn restaurant. He was a big man and he frequently dabbed the perspiration from his face with a handkerchief that was always within his reach. “It’s a lie because they don’t want an apology,” he said. “An apology is supposed to be a communion—a coming together. For someone to make an apology, someone has to be listening. They listen and you speak and there’s an exchange. That’s why we have a thing about accepting apologies. There’s a power exchange that happens. But they don’t want an apology.” He looked at me. “What they want is my destruction. What they want is for me to die. They will never say this because it’s too histrionic. But they never want to hear from me again for the rest of my life, and while they’re never hearing from me, they have the right to use me as a cultural reference point whenever it services their ends. That’s how it would work out best for them. They would like me to never speak again.” He paused. “I’d never had the opportunity to be the object of hate before. The hard part isn’t the hate. It’s the object.”
Excerpt From
So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Jon Ronson
“We have always had some influence over the justice system, but for the first time in 180 years—since the stocks and the pillory were outlawed—we have the power to determine the severity of some punishments. And so we have to think about what level of mercilessness we feel comfortable with. I, personally, no longer take part in the ecstatic public condemnation of people unless they’ve committed a transgression that has an actual victim, and even then not as much as I probably should. I miss the fun a little. But it feels like when I became a vegetarian. I missed the steak, although not as much as I’d anticipated, but I could no longer ignore the slaughterhouse”
Excerpt From
So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Jon Ronson
riviwriter's review
5.0
I love Jon Ronson, and this book did not let me down. His writing style is enjoyable to read/listen to (I listened to this book via Audible), and the ideas he presents are unique, multi-faceted, and eloquently described. Compared to the other books of his I've read (The Psychopath Test in particular), this book was more relatable and less depressing, but still managed to have the same thought-provoking, introspective style that I love.
lauraborkpower's review against another edition
3.0
I'm close to giving this a four-star review, but it's just not substantial enough.
That said, Ronson has written an interesting, relevant, and funny book. He brings himself to the front, beginning with the story of a "spam-bot" that was used as a ersatz "Jon Ronson" on Twitter. He moves on to discuss the hot-button stories, Jonah Lehrer and Justine Sacco, and talks about lesser known "shamed" persons as well as the shaming culture in social media, journalism, and sex.
I like Ronson's mix of pop science, cultural commentary, journalism, and personal essay. I also love his voice: his authorial voice--self-deprecating and curious--and his speaking/narrating voice--a sort of nasal Neil Gaiman, or, more whimsically, a sort of British muppet. It's adorable.
I understand, though, that not everyone wants to listen to nine hours of an adorable British muppet do narration, so be warned if you're thinking of downloading the audiobook.
That said, Ronson has written an interesting, relevant, and funny book. He brings himself to the front, beginning with the story of a "spam-bot" that was used as a ersatz "Jon Ronson" on Twitter. He moves on to discuss the hot-button stories, Jonah Lehrer and Justine Sacco, and talks about lesser known "shamed" persons as well as the shaming culture in social media, journalism, and sex.
I like Ronson's mix of pop science, cultural commentary, journalism, and personal essay. I also love his voice: his authorial voice--self-deprecating and curious--and his speaking/narrating voice--a sort of nasal Neil Gaiman, or, more whimsically, a sort of British muppet. It's adorable.
I understand, though, that not everyone wants to listen to nine hours of an adorable British muppet do narration, so be warned if you're thinking of downloading the audiobook.
jenmangler's review against another edition
2.0
Started off quite interesting and then petered out into not much of anything. Ronson raised some really interesting questions but often didn't pursue them.
mrbrownsays's review
4.0
Very good book and he reads it well in the audiobook version. I knew most (possibly all) the anecdotes which rather makes his point for him.
lethaldose's review against another edition
5.0
This book was so interesting. Exploring the effects public shaming has had on those that have been shamed, looking a how and if they ever recover. Jon Ronson explores how we have used shaming in the past even reaching back to the Stanford Prison Experiment. Every story he tells here is interesting and thought provoking. After reading this it may change how your react and treat people over social media. I am curious to see if this book has any long terms affects on me