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7.36k reviews for:
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing
K.C. Davis
4.35 AVERAGE
7.36k reviews for:
How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing
K.C. Davis
4.35 AVERAGE
hopeful
informative
inspiring
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
Okayyyyy not to be dramatic but this book changed my life. KC Davis is a therapist who uses both her personal and professional experience as well as words of wisdom from other professionals to bring us this perfect, tiny book; it’s only 150 pages long to begin with, but Davis even gives readers the option of trying an abridged way of reading the book that skips some sections while still giving you a lifetime of helpful info. The audiobook is also short at just 3 hours, and is narrated by Davis herself. She teaches about triaging your needs, caring for yourself, and prioritizing survival, and she puts it into all sorts of context for all types of people -- those with depression, those with neurodiverse needs, people of color, people with disabilities, and those with and without children.
This book encouraged me to take a totally different approach to clutter, cleaning, and caring for myself. I’ve been won over by its simplicity, practicality, and empathy. It has not only helped me know and be forgiving to myself, but has also provided incredible guidance in understanding other people. I’m probably not the only one who gets frustrated sometimes with my spouse and how they get things done around the house because they do it differently (not better or worse) than me. My favorite thing this helped me realize was that as long as it’s getting done, it’s getting done the right way.
I especially loved this book because it was like she was reminding me of things I knew all along but needed to relearn in a way that makes sense for housework. A decade of ED recovery work has taught me that food and feeding yourself is morally neutral. Housework is the exact same thing. The amount of chores you do or don’t do does not determine your worth as a person. When you stop punishing or rewarding yourself based on how much you get done, you end up having a much nicer time in life. WHEW!!!
Other things I loved learning from this book:
Releasing shame and guilt will help you get things done.
“You do not have to earn the right to rest, connect, or recreate.”
“Unlearn the idea that care tasks must be totally complete before you can sit down. Care tasks are a never-ending list, and if you wait until everything is done to rest, you will never rest.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing partially”
Ya gotta read this!!!
This book encouraged me to take a totally different approach to clutter, cleaning, and caring for myself. I’ve been won over by its simplicity, practicality, and empathy. It has not only helped me know and be forgiving to myself, but has also provided incredible guidance in understanding other people. I’m probably not the only one who gets frustrated sometimes with my spouse and how they get things done around the house because they do it differently (not better or worse) than me. My favorite thing this helped me realize was that as long as it’s getting done, it’s getting done the right way.
I especially loved this book because it was like she was reminding me of things I knew all along but needed to relearn in a way that makes sense for housework. A decade of ED recovery work has taught me that food and feeding yourself is morally neutral. Housework is the exact same thing. The amount of chores you do or don’t do does not determine your worth as a person. When you stop punishing or rewarding yourself based on how much you get done, you end up having a much nicer time in life. WHEW!!!
Other things I loved learning from this book:
Releasing shame and guilt will help you get things done.
“You do not have to earn the right to rest, connect, or recreate.”
“Unlearn the idea that care tasks must be totally complete before you can sit down. Care tasks are a never-ending list, and if you wait until everything is done to rest, you will never rest.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing partially”
Ya gotta read this!!!
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
medium-paced
this felt like a warm hug from the mom i never had but so desperately needed. there is so much love and healing in this book, and it’s written so well and considerately for those who are neurodivergent. forever will recommend this.
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
medium-paced
I’ve been following Davis for years on TikTok, but had somehow never read her first book. I mostly picked it up to see if I could recommend it to friends who are struggling, especially since Davis’ content has moved on in the past year or two. It is, indeed, a very good overview of Davis’ philosophy, most notably that care tasks (cleaning, hygiene, cooking, etc.) are morally neutral and are more about being functional than being “good” or “moral.” It’s an easy read and has “shortcuts” for ADHDers or other readers who just want to get to the quick core of the matter. Through it all, Davis is gentle, accepting, and helpful, which is exactly what I’d expect from her channel. I can indeed say that I recommend it.
I don't know why I keep saying that I should stop reading self-help books for things I don't need help with and then continue to read them, because I found this mildly to moderately irritating, and it's entirely my fault for picking it up in the first place.
First things first, let me tell you who this book is for. It's meant for people with ADHD, or any other neurodivergence that interferes with their ability to keep their space clean, decluttered and organised, but more specifically, for those who struggle with constant negative self-talk. If that sounds like you, you may find this book incredibly helpful.
I have been bestowed with a Venn diagram of ADHD and autism that keeps me yearning for new experiences while allowing me to enjoy routine and structure. I know it sounds like it shouldn't work, but somehow it does. It does, however, make things a little difficult while living with other people. I can keep anything organised that I want to keep organised and stick to habits that I'm genuinely invested in with relative ease. What I wanted from this book were tips for working with other people. The book-length version extended edition of these two videos (1, 2) by Caroline Winkler. While it does come into play, it's told from the author's perspective, a mother of two married to a man who is already willing to adapt to her way of doing things. I think it would be easier for me to get a divorce and live by myself.
Moreover, I seem to be in a minority, but I don't have any negative self-talk. I do not hate myself, have any reasons to hate myself, or have any internalised thought patterns from past trauma that make me feel guilty, or not "good enough" (whatever that means). I don't hate my body or how it looks, and I'm perfectly content with how my space looks and functions. This book is very heavy-handed when it comes to this specific aspect of people's psyches; the awful combination of Puritanical religious tradition and the capitalist expectation of "being productive" that's so pervasive in the US. I just don't buy into any of that.
There are things around the house that I care about and things I don't care about. I live with a bunch of fuzzy animals, and they shed constantly. It is physically impossible to keep the floors fur-free, so I vacuum every couple of days, and that's fine. I am not fine with having dirty dishes in the sink. I am one of those people who are able to clean as they go, the dishes go in the dishwasher after they're used, I turn the dishwasher on every night, and put everything away before I go to bed. My kitchen is always clean when I get up in the morning. Having a clean kitchen and breakfast set up to be eaten within 10 minutes is how I like to start my day, so I do that the day before. You have to figure out what things you care about. In this book, Davis talks about this and gives tips on how to come up with a system that works for you. You're either going to care about something enough to do it, you're going to pay somebody else to do it, or you're going to decide it doesn't matter.
Also addressed is the Sisyphean nature of doing household chores. I think the only cure for that is to make it an enjoyable experience. Rajiv Surendra can help with that. I found [b:Laundry Love: Finding Joy in a Common Chore|49247159|Laundry Love Finding Joy in a Common Chore|Patric Richardson|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1581412101l/49247159._SY75_.jpg|74693499] helpful as well. As Camus said, “Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux”.
There is objectively nothing wrong with this book other than being a little repetitive with the self-hatred remediation. Nevertheless, if you think this sounds like something that will help you, it likely will. It just wasn't for me.
First things first, let me tell you who this book is for. It's meant for people with ADHD, or any other neurodivergence that interferes with their ability to keep their space clean, decluttered and organised, but more specifically, for those who struggle with constant negative self-talk. If that sounds like you, you may find this book incredibly helpful.
I have been bestowed with a Venn diagram of ADHD and autism that keeps me yearning for new experiences while allowing me to enjoy routine and structure. I know it sounds like it shouldn't work, but somehow it does. It does, however, make things a little difficult while living with other people. I can keep anything organised that I want to keep organised and stick to habits that I'm genuinely invested in with relative ease. What I wanted from this book were tips for working with other people. The book-length version extended edition of these two videos (1, 2) by Caroline Winkler. While it does come into play, it's told from the author's perspective, a mother of two married to a man who is already willing to adapt to her way of doing things. I think it would be easier for me to get a divorce and live by myself.
Moreover, I seem to be in a minority, but I don't have any negative self-talk. I do not hate myself, have any reasons to hate myself, or have any internalised thought patterns from past trauma that make me feel guilty, or not "good enough" (whatever that means). I don't hate my body or how it looks, and I'm perfectly content with how my space looks and functions. This book is very heavy-handed when it comes to this specific aspect of people's psyches; the awful combination of Puritanical religious tradition and the capitalist expectation of "being productive" that's so pervasive in the US. I just don't buy into any of that.
There are things around the house that I care about and things I don't care about. I live with a bunch of fuzzy animals, and they shed constantly. It is physically impossible to keep the floors fur-free, so I vacuum every couple of days, and that's fine. I am not fine with having dirty dishes in the sink. I am one of those people who are able to clean as they go, the dishes go in the dishwasher after they're used, I turn the dishwasher on every night, and put everything away before I go to bed. My kitchen is always clean when I get up in the morning. Having a clean kitchen and breakfast set up to be eaten within 10 minutes is how I like to start my day, so I do that the day before. You have to figure out what things you care about. In this book, Davis talks about this and gives tips on how to come up with a system that works for you. You're either going to care about something enough to do it, you're going to pay somebody else to do it, or you're going to decide it doesn't matter.
Also addressed is the Sisyphean nature of doing household chores. I think the only cure for that is to make it an enjoyable experience. Rajiv Surendra can help with that. I found [b:Laundry Love: Finding Joy in a Common Chore|49247159|Laundry Love Finding Joy in a Common Chore|Patric Richardson|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1581412101l/49247159._SY75_.jpg|74693499] helpful as well. As Camus said, “Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux”.
There is objectively nothing wrong with this book other than being a little repetitive with the self-hatred remediation. Nevertheless, if you think this sounds like something that will help you, it likely will. It just wasn't for me.