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Reviews tagging 'Rape'
Be Not Afraid of Love: Lessons on Fear, Intimacy, and Connection by Mimi Zhu
15 reviews
k_a_i's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.0
I really enjoyed Mimi's reflections and comparisons between the themes they were writing on and nature - that was some of my favorite writing! I feel like anything that had to do with their personal reflections really had me hooked and kept me going. I do feel that at moments it did feel like reading a school easy / there were so many references which I understand and appreciate but sometimes so many at once that it was distracting. I really appreciate anyone who is willing to share such vulnerable lessons and moments in life and can tell they are very intentional! Took me a long time to read this because when some moments really applied, I needed a sec to digest / absorb
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Rape, Stalking, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
siebensommer's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
4.5
i refuse to believe that we are doomed, because our collective anxiety shows that we care. i refuse to succumb to despair, because our worry shows me that we longer wish to be controlled.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Racism, Xenophobia, and Physical abuse
Minor: Ableism, Transphobia, and Homophobia
kostopoulos2000's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
3.75
sometimes the writing style made the book feel like a really long tweet but considering I snot-nosed sobbed thru the last two chapters that criticism feels mundane
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Physical abuse, and Sexual assault
strangerfig's review
emotional
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, and Rape
essie__reads's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
tense
slow-paced
5.0
This contains SPOILERS!!!
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I honestly feel like I need to reread this in physical format to really digest and unpack everything she touches on! I listened to the audio, and her voice was extremely soothing, which I loved. I also loved that she takes a few deep breaths at the end of each chapter (not gonna lie, I started taking them with her and it was very calming).
The author mentions frequently her ex, referred to as "X", and describes the evolution of their toxic relationship and his emotional, physical, and sexual abuse towards her. So please be aware of content warnings because this can be heavy content! She also acknowledges her privileges and touches on the ways abused women in society, including disabled and trans women of color, often have less resources available to aid them in escaping abusers and aid them through their healing. She also touched on how abuse can be cyclical, making it difficult for the victims to leave those toxic relationships, and how abusers were often abused themselves too (although noting that is not an excuse to continue these harmful and generational cycles).
There was seriously so much touched on throughout this- because healing from abuse and learning to love oneself again requires so much emotional and spiritual growth. She touches on grief, anger, fears, feelings of being labled a victim, society's pressure for victims, generational trauma, diaspora, self love, forgiveness, religion, non-Western techniques/therapies for healing emotionally and spiritually, ptsd, community/friendship, abolitionism and it's lasting effects, the prison systems, allyship, etc. And breaks down all the nuances and connections between these experiences/ideas/emotions. All of this is done through the lense of her own experiences as a queer Chinese-Australian person, too.
I definitely recommend this to anyone with generational trauma- even if your trauma is not identical to the author's, there is still so much that can be learned and applied to your own experiences. I personally, really enjoyed her thoughts on anxiety, grief, anger. Honestly there wasn't a chapter of this book that I didn't find meaningful and impactful. I will likely be thinking of her words for a while to come.
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I honestly feel like I need to reread this in physical format to really digest and unpack everything she touches on! I listened to the audio, and her voice was extremely soothing, which I loved. I also loved that she takes a few deep breaths at the end of each chapter (not gonna lie, I started taking them with her and it was very calming).
The author mentions frequently her ex, referred to as "X", and describes the evolution of their toxic relationship and his emotional, physical, and sexual abuse towards her. So please be aware of content warnings because this can be heavy content! She also acknowledges her privileges and touches on the ways abused women in society, including disabled and trans women of color, often have less resources available to aid them in escaping abusers and aid them through their healing. She also touched on how abuse can be cyclical, making it difficult for the victims to leave those toxic relationships, and how abusers were often abused themselves too (although noting that is not an excuse to continue these harmful and generational cycles).
There was seriously so much touched on throughout this- because healing from abuse and learning to love oneself again requires so much emotional and spiritual growth. She touches on grief, anger, fears, feelings of being labled a victim, society's pressure for victims, generational trauma, diaspora, self love, forgiveness, religion, non-Western techniques/therapies for healing emotionally and spiritually, ptsd, community/friendship, abolitionism and it's lasting effects, the prison systems, allyship, etc. And breaks down all the nuances and connections between these experiences/ideas/emotions. All of this is done through the lense of her own experiences as a queer Chinese-Australian person, too.
I definitely recommend this to anyone with generational trauma- even if your trauma is not identical to the author's, there is still so much that can be learned and applied to your own experiences. I personally, really enjoyed her thoughts on anxiety, grief, anger. Honestly there wasn't a chapter of this book that I didn't find meaningful and impactful. I will likely be thinking of her words for a while to come.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Violence, Emotional abuse, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, Rape, Racial slurs, Physical abuse, and Drug use
Minor: Grief and Panic attacks/disorders
cass_lit's review against another edition
This book is not what I expected it to be, which I think affected my personal reading experience. It absolutely has its audience, it just wasn’t as much me as I believed it would be. Mimi Zhu is a survivor of intimate-partner abuse, and this book is heavily about the survival and healing process from that. While it touches on learning to love yourself after and being open to love from friends and others, I found it less about being afraid of love and more about being able to heal from a situation in which “love” (Mimi and I might have different views on how much love there actually is in an abusive relationship) has proven literally harmful. There were some points I found helpful and I absolutely applaud Mimi Zhu for all of the work she’s put into bettering herself, her community, and the world in general, but ultimately I didn’t find most of this book applicable to my own life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Sexual violence
afropxks's review
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
all about love’s little sibling!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Xenophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Stalking, and Racism
kamitsukasero's review
not in the right mindset + hard to get through
Content Warnings
Moderate: Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, and Rape
abbeythomsen's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Rape, Colonisation, Grief, and Sexual assault
decaying's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Love exist as a constant in our lives. That, I can say with certainty. It exists in the relationships that we forge. The way we care for ourselves. It exists plastered in heart-shaped boxes of chocolates that seems to always fill the grocery aisles, looming throughout the dreaded month of February. Love is everywhere.
As someone who exists within the aromantic spectrum, I always have a never-ending crave to learn, explore, and understand what love is. It is always something that felt like I’m always on the cusp of understanding it, but never wholly. My understanding and relationship with love always felt fragmented. Like, I don’t believe anyone truly understand what love is nor any of us have any clue what we’re doing. Do we truly understand what love is? Is there a definitive meaning to it?
In many ways, Mimi Zhu’s “Be Not Afraid of Love” gave me a reassurance. It offers an understanding of love that is constantly expanding, with no means of an end nor a fixed shape. Love that transforms and transcends. There’s no definitiveness of what love is and that’s the most gracious thing about it; that we can find love in anything and everything. And I find that incredibly liberating. The book echoes familiar concepts and ideas from bell hooks’s “All About Love” that I find it difficult to separate the two. While hooks’s book suggests that we ought to look at love a little closer, Zhu’s book lets us know the different ways we can nurture and nourish it. The two complement each other incredibly well in that way.
In this book, Zhu spoke not only of her difficult experiences with past relationships. She also expanded on the various systemic issues that contributes to our convoluted and unfortunately, dysfunctional relationship with love. Her exploration is brimming with empathy and it’s difficult to not be swayed by the poignancy of her storytelling. It offered a level of consideration and understanding of the complicated ways people can be, but without at the expense of our well-being.
I really loved how Zhu tells her stories. The best way that I can describe her writing is that it is lovely. It’s hard to not think of love while I flicked through one chapter after the other. It has really expanded on my understanding on love with a spiritual perspective that I rarely ever considered. This book left me awestruck. This book tells me that there’s an endless possibility to love and there’s always room for me to be more loving in my life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Misogyny, Racism, Rape, and Colonisation
Minor: Classism