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3.96 AVERAGE
3.96 AVERAGE
informative
reflective
fast-paced
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
One of those books that I’m glad I read, and could say I agreed with in general, but with some pretty heavy asterisks in most chapters. This was a complicated read; most of its cultural observations are still spot-on, 25 years later, but it also felt incredibly dated in other aspects. E.g.: yes, some people do use casual sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism to avoid attachments with others... but you could also say that about literally any activity (even reading - guilty as charged!), and singling out sex specifically is not doing the book any favors.
A positive: I’m extremely relieved that this book’s definition of love is both encompassing (not limited to the trinary romantic/platonic/familial model), but also specific enough to be usable (a desire for mutual growth and support). And I particularly like hooks’ definition of love as a verb, rather than a noun; it shifts the focus away from pointless discussions on what love “is”, and toward what love “does”; it’s not a role, it’s a series of actions and habits. As a whole, I’d call All About Love a great introduction to compassionate politics. The keyword there being introduction, as I definitely think hooks has blind spots, like everyone else – and even her own later works attempt to fill them in. (I know this was published in the early 2000s, but some of the gender-based observations could have really benefitted from transfeminist perspectives.)
I found I enjoyed this book more when I stopped reading it as a self-help guide and more as reflections on hooks’ own life, because there’s some aspects of the framework that I disagree with. People in other reviews have written that this book is more religious than they were expecting; and while I do think hooks takes care to separate organized religion from spirituality, and acknowledge the flaws of each, there is very much a Christian slant to these essays (another reason why the casual sex observation didn’t quite sit right with me), even down to hooks drawing a parallel between declining church attendance and the decline of society as a whole. And while I think it would absolutely help some – being able to see the bigger picture outside yourself doesn’t come naturally to everyone – I don’t think you need to live a spiritual life to understand this principle. To me, it came across the same way as a bewildered Christian who can’t wrap their head around the concept of atheists having a sense of morality. In the same way, I take issue with the idea of “estrangement from family members” being held in direct opposition to a “path of healing”. It’s another of hooks’ ideas that sounds fantastic on paper, presented in idealistic, heal-society terms – and it would be fantastic for everyone if we all could heal broken bonds rather than severing them – but in practice, this puts unequal weight on victimized parties to just ‘be the bigger person’ and forgive their abusers. As with spirituality, it does work for some; I just disagree with the presentation of it as a solution for all. That said, I do think this was a good foundation to hooks’ other books, as now I have a better sense of where she’s coming from, her values, her ideals, etc.
The last thing I wanted to say, more of a personal gripe than anything else, was on hooks’ reading of societal greed – specifically, using a framework of greed to explain the phenomenon of addiction. Arguing that greed is a cornerstone of society’s lovelessness was fine; I agree. Consumerism and individualism are two arms of the same social evil; I agree. But comparing consumerism to the physiological experience of addiction to alcohol or drugs? Frankly, that specific observation was so wildly out of touch with the reality of addiction that I nearly put down the book then and there. Consumerism is, at best, a psychological dependency; comparing it to an addiction is just flat-out wrong. And that’s to say nothing of hooks putting money-motivated drug dealers and addicts looking for their next fix in the same category of greed – because if they “worship” something other than love, they’re worshipping selfishness – and are thus incapable of forming truly loving bonds with others. I shouldn’t have to mention that there are as many reasons for getting into, and remaining with, an addictive substance as there are addictive substances themselves – yet she seems (at least to me) to paint all addicts with the same broad brush, and paired with the judgmental undertone, I don’t really see this as helping anyone. I genuinely hope her perspective on this changes in future writings.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just missing something, but All About Love left me feeling more disappointed than inspired. And that really sucks, because I wanted to love it! It just really didn’t resonate in the way I hoped, despite being a good book overall. Maybe I just wasn’t the correct audience for it. Will still be reading more of bell hooks’ catalog, but probably won’t put this one on my reread radar.
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
challenging
reflective
slow-paced
I liked a lot in this book. I felt like hooks was best in conversation with other thinkers on the topic. I like who and how she quoted, and how she thought through their ideas.
I liked less some of her critiques. I was especially offput by her critique of Monica Lewinsky (at least I assume it was her). Maybe the intervening years have allowed us to consider Lewinsky in a different light, but I was especially surprised to see a feminist scholar criticize a young woman so severely.
I liked less some of her critiques. I was especially offput by her critique of Monica Lewinsky (at least I assume it was her). Maybe the intervening years have allowed us to consider Lewinsky in a different light, but I was especially surprised to see a feminist scholar criticize a young woman so severely.
reflective
Well written and really gave an interesting perspective on life, love, and how we connect with the world.
pairs well with a journal and a glass of white wine. hooks does that thing where she writes in absolutes and says “studies show” without citing the studies.