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dessy331's review against another edition
5.0
This was a hard one for me. Unexpectedly so. Which, really shoulda seen that one coming; parent/child relationships in stories tend to tug at my heartstrings more than anything else. So yeah, this was a tough one.
I was hoping that there would be more focus on Katie's romance but sadly, no. Even when it was in focus, I think it was more about Katie's feelings than the relationship in general. Which is fair enough, this book is about so much more than just one single aspect. Unfortunately that one single aspect is the most important to me in picking this book up. Simona bothered me at parts, she was a bit too harsh and quick to anger for my taste. I thought Katie obviously deserved much more sympathy than she was given, considering Simona had been in her shoes and could quite clearly see how much Katie was struggling and obviously needed a friend who understood. Not someone who would tease her into admitting something when she obviously wasn't ready and then getting pissed off when Katie predictably ran away. It's not that I don't think she has a right to be upset, she does, it's just that she handled it with such coldness and a blatant lack of empathy for someone who was just like her. Katie needed understanding and a safe place to talk through her feelings, not to be kissed and then dumped when she couldn't handle the pressure of being open and proud after 2.5 seconds of admitting that you kinda, maybe, might be gay, possibly. But anyway. They were nice together at times, I thought Katie was really sweet and relatable. I was rooting for her the whole way through. I thought this book handled Katie's dealing with her sexuality well and pretty authentically. There was a few parts where I was like "Yes! That was me! SAME!" So that's nice. I feel like it was a little unrealistic of her to be in denial so long, until the very last minute when she handed her mother the book, but that's just my opinion. Also, her relationship with Mary is the most heartwarming thing I think I've ever read.
Mary's story was, maybe surprisingly, the part that I was captivated by the most. She is such a complex and extraordinary (but flawed) woman and I loved hearing about her stories. I wasn't bored at all. In fact, I wanted to learn about her past and got more and more interested as the story unfolded. I can't say I'm super fond of Pat, but perhaps I'm missing a point there, that they're both flawed in their own ways - but I just can't like her. Maybe it's the Katie in me, I dunno. I really felt for Mary, my heart broke when the truth about her and Caroline came out, she really loved her daughter and her family so much. Her father made me so goddamn angry, though. Who calls their daughter a slut and shames her so much and shuns her for kissing boys and wearing lipstick and getting pregnant? That is not a parent, that is a dictator. I'm literally appalled at how women used to be policed by their families and society and themselves in the past, I mean it's hard enough now as it is.
Caroline was aggravating at parts but I didn't dislike her. I think she was a frustrating mom, but ultimately a good one. I really felt for Katie dealing with her, if she hadn't been such a caring person, she might have lost her kids because of what she was inadvertently doing to them. Parents can really screw their kids up if they're not careful, this book is a gigantic example of that.
I also thought Chris was a nice character. I liked his small character arc at the end and how everyone gained a little freedom, in a way. I can't speak for how sensitively his character was portrayed or how well the representation is for people with special needs (sorry if that's not the appropriate term, the book wasn't specific on what Chris has). I liked his relationship with Katie, it was really sweet, though they did fight a lot.
I think this was a really beautiful and powerful story. The characters felt real and not over-dramatized. I understood each character's motivations and how they got to that place, even if I didn't necessarily agree with them. This book made me think of family; it struck me in such a personal way, I couldn't tell you how many times I teared up while reading. It was probably silly of me, it's not that gut-wrenching of a book. I mean, yes, it is a sad, heartbreaking story with Mary's illness and the family problems. But anyway. I'm a crybaby. Literally present me with any even slightly dysfunctional parent/child relationships in books and I'm already bawling before anyone has even spoken. They just get to me, I don't know what it is lol
I think the take-home message from this book is: living for other people and solely for other people will bring you nothing but unhappiness, as well as living for yourself and only for yourself will just bring you emptiness and longing. There's a balance that has to be found, where you don't compromise your happiness and who you are and don't forget other people and their feelings in the process.
I would definitely recommend this one.
I was hoping that there would be more focus on Katie's romance but sadly, no. Even when it was in focus, I think it was more about Katie's feelings than the relationship in general. Which is fair enough, this book is about so much more than just one single aspect. Unfortunately that one single aspect is the most important to me in picking this book up. Simona bothered me at parts, she was a bit too harsh and quick to anger for my taste. I thought Katie obviously deserved much more sympathy than she was given, considering Simona had been in her shoes and could quite clearly see how much Katie was struggling and obviously needed a friend who understood. Not someone who would tease her into admitting something when she obviously wasn't ready and then getting pissed off when Katie predictably ran away. It's not that I don't think she has a right to be upset, she does, it's just that she handled it with such coldness and a blatant lack of empathy for someone who was just like her. Katie needed understanding and a safe place to talk through her feelings, not to be kissed and then dumped when she couldn't handle the pressure of being open and proud after 2.5 seconds of admitting that you kinda, maybe, might be gay, possibly. But anyway. They were nice together at times, I thought Katie was really sweet and relatable. I was rooting for her the whole way through. I thought this book handled Katie's dealing with her sexuality well and pretty authentically. There was a few parts where I was like "Yes! That was me! SAME!" So that's nice. I feel like it was a little unrealistic of her to be in denial so long, until the very last minute when she handed her mother the book, but that's just my opinion. Also, her relationship with Mary is the most heartwarming thing I think I've ever read.
Mary's story was, maybe surprisingly, the part that I was captivated by the most. She is such a complex and extraordinary (but flawed) woman and I loved hearing about her stories. I wasn't bored at all. In fact, I wanted to learn about her past and got more and more interested as the story unfolded. I can't say I'm super fond of Pat, but perhaps I'm missing a point there, that they're both flawed in their own ways - but I just can't like her. Maybe it's the Katie in me, I dunno. I really felt for Mary, my heart broke when the truth about her and Caroline came out, she really loved her daughter and her family so much. Her father made me so goddamn angry, though. Who calls their daughter a slut and shames her so much and shuns her for kissing boys and wearing lipstick and getting pregnant? That is not a parent, that is a dictator. I'm literally appalled at how women used to be policed by their families and society and themselves in the past, I mean it's hard enough now as it is.
Caroline was aggravating at parts but I didn't dislike her. I think she was a frustrating mom, but ultimately a good one. I really felt for Katie dealing with her, if she hadn't been such a caring person, she might have lost her kids because of what she was inadvertently doing to them. Parents can really screw their kids up if they're not careful, this book is a gigantic example of that.
I also thought Chris was a nice character. I liked his small character arc at the end and how everyone gained a little freedom, in a way. I can't speak for how sensitively his character was portrayed or how well the representation is for people with special needs (sorry if that's not the appropriate term, the book wasn't specific on what Chris has). I liked his relationship with Katie, it was really sweet, though they did fight a lot.
I think this was a really beautiful and powerful story. The characters felt real and not over-dramatized. I understood each character's motivations and how they got to that place, even if I didn't necessarily agree with them. This book made me think of family; it struck me in such a personal way, I couldn't tell you how many times I teared up while reading. It was probably silly of me, it's not that gut-wrenching of a book. I mean, yes, it is a sad, heartbreaking story with Mary's illness and the family problems. But anyway. I'm a crybaby. Literally present me with any even slightly dysfunctional parent/child relationships in books and I'm already bawling before anyone has even spoken. They just get to me, I don't know what it is lol
I think the take-home message from this book is: living for other people and solely for other people will bring you nothing but unhappiness, as well as living for yourself and only for yourself will just bring you emptiness and longing. There's a balance that has to be found, where you don't compromise your happiness and who you are and don't forget other people and their feelings in the process.
I would definitely recommend this one.
lcarslibrarian's review against another edition
4.0
A really sweet inter generational story about facing the past and understanding the different "stories" each person can tell. It made me want to hug my mom. Katie, Mary, and even Caroline are very relate-able once you learn the reasons behind some of their actions.
nerfherder86's review against another edition
5.0
I just loved this book! It helped that I listened to it on audio: the narrator is the author herself, and unlike other author-read efforts I've tried to listen to, she is fantastic! I loved the British accent, of course, but she does a great job of changing her voice for the three main characters so that you can tell the teenager apart from the middle-aged mom and again from the elderly grandmother. I really enjoyed this intergenerational story, how family secrets were gradually revealed through either flashbacks or by a character reluctantly telling the truth, and that it realistically depicted the condition of dementia/Alzheimer's disease for both the sufferer and those around them. I thought all of the characters were distinct and memorable and had me rooting for them: Mary, the grandmother with dementia, is funny and feisty and sad, not knowing why she has a "blue blank," her name for her memory gap, or why she feels compelled to leave the house every morning towards a destination she can't remember; Katie, the granddaughter, has realistic struggles with bullying and is trying to figure out her sexuality without any parental guidance while also having to be kind of a parent to her grandmother; her mom, Caroline, is the hardest to figure out--why does she hold such a grudge against her own mother that she's never allowed her to be part of Katie's life? Great book for readers who like Sarah Dessen, Sara Zarr and similar realistic stories.
lemon_drop's review against another edition
5.0
Beautifully written story of mothers and daughters; a most complicated relationship indeed. Loved it.
allerkins's review against another edition
4.0
Slow to start but by the halfway point I was hooked. This book is all about relationships and mothers and secrets. It sometimes felt more like an adult book, like the ones by Kate Morton that deal with generational secrets. Mostly, I was just so, so sad that these family members had been estranged for so long.
ellarhadfield's review against another edition
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
athenameilahn's review against another edition
1.0
So tedious a few hours in and based on reviews, unlikely to improve. I'm giving up.
camillejoy's review against another edition
5.0
I loved this. Mothers, daughters, and wounds that travel down through the generations. A portrait of a family reassembling itself, and of each beautifully-rendered woman in this story searching for her identity, and struggling to embrace it against social stigma. When Katie's estranged grandmother turns up suffering from dementia and in need of care, Katie's mother struggles to embrace the
mother who abandoned her as a child. Katie tries to unravel the truth of their past, while struggling with her own questions of identity.
mother who abandoned her as a child. Katie tries to unravel the truth of their past, while struggling with her own questions of identity.