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4.14 AVERAGE
4.14 AVERAGE
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
emotional
funny
hopeful
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
The only reason this one took me a while is because I was sick. What a beautifully written debut novel. I’m not familiar with Jewish traditions so it was a great intro. I loved Ezra and their discovery of their inner strength and ability to take care of themselves first, then others. Jonathan is a gem and everyone should have one! Looking forward to more.
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Loved this!
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
N/A
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Rules for Ghosting is part family drama, part queer found family, part saving the family business, and part ghost story. Ezra’s grandfather opened a funeral to be closer to the relatives he lost in the Holocaust and two generations later, it’s still in the family. The business is passed down to the firstborn son which makes me wonder what would have happened if the oldest child was a girl. At the start of the book, Ezra’s parents and Ezra’s older brother work there.
The story plunges headfirst into drama which contributed to me being entertained from the start. During the Passover seder, it’s revealed that his mom is in love with the rabbi’s wife and they run off together. Meanwhile, the same rabbi’s son died a year ago and their son-in-law Jonathan is still in love with him. This is part of the reason he works at the funeral home. Talk about complicated family dinners. After Ezra’s mom runs away with her girlfriend, Ezra takes over her role in the company. For the ghost portion of the story, Ezra sees Jonathan’s ex-husband Ben, his grandfather, and various other ghosts in passing, but their roles are all minor and it was never explained why he possesses this ability. Jonathan’s ex-husband is also the only ghost who can speak. Unfortunately, I think it veered too far into saving the family business and not enough into the ghost story.
Almost the entire cast is queer. For example, Ezra is trans and bisexual, his ex-boyfriend is ace, and his love interest Jonathan is gay. His best friend is a transwoman and she is interested in Max adding a wlw relationship. Ezra moves into his ex-boyfriend’s apartment complex and instantly becomes part of a found family with them which makes their relationship feel a bit forced instead of organic. However, this didn’t stop me from loving the found family vibes. Ollie and Max live on the top floor; Ezra, Noah, and Lily are on the middle floor, and Jonathan has the bottom floor. A room in this apartment complex opened up when their old roommate moved in with her girlfriend, U-Haul style. The apartment is also a 3 minute walk from a coffee shop. Goals. Furthermore, Ezra’s dog is dog-narrated which is cute.
As Ezra is trans, he mentions being on testosterone and using a binder and packer. He also mentions having curly hair, a classic Jewish trait. The book starts off when he was a child and everyone saw him as a girl which was interesting to read narratively. I liked that because of Ezra’s sexuality, he mentioned he had to come out twice. Meanwhile, I loved how Jonathan was gay instead of bi, yet he accepted Ezra fully and acts like his binder is normal. When Ezra breaks down, Jonathan is there. I could feel the emotion between them, such as when they look at each other with longing. It contains non-descriptive sex scenes which are not quite closed door. Due to his dysphoria, Erza likes sex but has issues with it while his ex Ollie likes sex very rarely and has issues with it. I wish the author gave us more information about Ollie and Ezra’s relationship or conversations with Ollie since it would have been fun to read more about them. They were broken up at the start of the book but remained friends.
Ezra’s second job is being a birth doula while Jonathan is a death doula, though we don’t get any more information on that. In one particular birth, he helped a trans man give birth. I think this was an important inclusion. Especially since Ezra mentions he wants kids. Meanwhile, his sister decided at the age of seven that she doesn’t want them. I love that.
Rules for Ghosting is also very Jewish and it uses Hebrew and Yiddish language. I think this book could have benefited from some explanations about jewish customs, rituals, and funeral rites like omer. I had to google many words despite growing up Jewish. The taharah is one Jewish funeral rite which is briefly described and is a gender separated activity. Jonathan asked Ezra for help and guided him through it as he only did it with women in the past which was uncomfortable for him. I found this bittersweet.
I think ultimately I wanted more from this book. I started off loving it and there was some funny dialogue, but by the end, I was a little bored as it moved away from ghost story and towards saving their unsuccessful family business. There’s a brief exploration of grief, especially second-hand, and life and death. I don’t think it quite worked for me. Additionally, as part of taking over for his mom, he mentions hating math which is a pet peeve of mine. Hating math is cool right? To conclude the ghost story, Ben and Ezra realize they suffer from the same issue which is believing people aren’t OK if they’re not there to help them. Everyone comes to Ezra with their problems because he’s easier to talk to than their parents. He struggles with letting people help themselves and others help him because he’s helped people all his life. Overcoming this is a learning moment from them and the conclusion of the ghost story.
Thanks NetGalley for the ARC!
The story plunges headfirst into drama which contributed to me being entertained from the start. During the Passover seder, it’s revealed that his mom is in love with the rabbi’s wife and they run off together. Meanwhile, the same rabbi’s son died a year ago and their son-in-law Jonathan is still in love with him. This is part of the reason he works at the funeral home. Talk about complicated family dinners. After Ezra’s mom runs away with her girlfriend, Ezra takes over her role in the company. For the ghost portion of the story, Ezra sees Jonathan’s ex-husband Ben, his grandfather, and various other ghosts in passing, but their roles are all minor and it was never explained why he possesses this ability. Jonathan’s ex-husband is also the only ghost who can speak. Unfortunately, I think it veered too far into saving the family business and not enough into the ghost story.
Almost the entire cast is queer. For example, Ezra is trans and bisexual, his ex-boyfriend is ace, and his love interest Jonathan is gay. His best friend is a transwoman and she is interested in Max adding a wlw relationship. Ezra moves into his ex-boyfriend’s apartment complex and instantly becomes part of a found family with them which makes their relationship feel a bit forced instead of organic. However, this didn’t stop me from loving the found family vibes. Ollie and Max live on the top floor; Ezra, Noah, and Lily are on the middle floor, and Jonathan has the bottom floor. A room in this apartment complex opened up when their old roommate moved in with her girlfriend, U-Haul style. The apartment is also a 3 minute walk from a coffee shop. Goals. Furthermore, Ezra’s dog is dog-narrated which is cute.
As Ezra is trans, he mentions being on testosterone and using a binder and packer. He also mentions having curly hair, a classic Jewish trait. The book starts off when he was a child and everyone saw him as a girl which was interesting to read narratively. I liked that because of Ezra’s sexuality, he mentioned he had to come out twice. Meanwhile, I loved how Jonathan was gay instead of bi, yet he accepted Ezra fully and acts like his binder is normal. When Ezra breaks down, Jonathan is there. I could feel the emotion between them, such as when they look at each other with longing. It contains non-descriptive sex scenes which are not quite closed door. Due to his dysphoria, Erza likes sex but has issues with it while his ex Ollie likes sex very rarely and has issues with it. I wish the author gave us more information about Ollie and Ezra’s relationship or conversations with Ollie since it would have been fun to read more about them. They were broken up at the start of the book but remained friends.
Ezra’s second job is being a birth doula while Jonathan is a death doula, though we don’t get any more information on that. In one particular birth, he helped a trans man give birth. I think this was an important inclusion. Especially since Ezra mentions he wants kids. Meanwhile, his sister decided at the age of seven that she doesn’t want them. I love that.
Rules for Ghosting is also very Jewish and it uses Hebrew and Yiddish language. I think this book could have benefited from some explanations about jewish customs, rituals, and funeral rites like omer. I had to google many words despite growing up Jewish. The taharah is one Jewish funeral rite which is briefly described and is a gender separated activity. Jonathan asked Ezra for help and guided him through it as he only did it with women in the past which was uncomfortable for him. I found this bittersweet.
I think ultimately I wanted more from this book. I started off loving it and there was some funny dialogue, but by the end, I was a little bored as it moved away from ghost story and towards saving their unsuccessful family business. There’s a brief exploration of grief, especially second-hand, and life and death. I don’t think it quite worked for me. Additionally, as part of taking over for his mom, he mentions hating math which is a pet peeve of mine. Hating math is cool right? To conclude the ghost story, Ben and Ezra realize they suffer from the same issue which is believing people aren’t OK if they’re not there to help them. Everyone comes to Ezra with their problems because he’s easier to talk to than their parents. He struggles with letting people help themselves and others help him because he’s helped people all his life. Overcoming this is a learning moment from them and the conclusion of the ghost story.
Thanks NetGalley for the ARC!
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
This book was incredibly sweet and I love the way that the author tackled grief through the use of non-frightening ghosts. The characters felt real and raw.
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This book gave me all the feels! At first I was thinking it was a little cheesy, but by the end I loved it so much!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief
Minor: Sexual content, Medical content, Car accident, Pregnancy, Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol