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30something_reads's review against another edition
emotional
medium-paced
4.0
Despite this being classified as a Romance, the actual romance felt more like a catalyst for the dynamic family story that revolves around Soraya, her siblings, and their Iranian immigrant parents. And while yes, it does technically meet the genre parameters, the romantic plot between Soraya and Magnus felt far less impactful (or important) than the multigenerational story of her family.
This is further emphasized by the POVs we get - a present day POV from Soraya as she's navigating her relationship with Magnus/her interactions with family and a past POV from her mother as we put together the story of her marriage and their immigration to Britain.
So overall, I would not fully recommend this strictly based on the romance, but I would absolutely recommend if you're interested in a multigenerational story that tackles the challenges of growing up in the Iranian diaspora with a splash of romance on the side.
CWs: anxiety, depression, physical abuse, threats of violence, infidelity, racism
This is further emphasized by the POVs we get - a present day POV from Soraya as she's navigating her relationship with Magnus/her interactions with family and a past POV from her mother as we put together the story of her marriage and their immigration to Britain.
So overall, I would not fully recommend this strictly based on the romance, but I would absolutely recommend if you're interested in a multigenerational story that tackles the challenges of growing up in the Iranian diaspora with a splash of romance on the side.
CWs: anxiety, depression, physical abuse, threats of violence, infidelity, racism
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse and Sexism
Moderate: Infidelity, Drug use, and Mental illness
Minor: Domestic abuse, Racism, and Violence
kfrey's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity and Physical abuse
Moderate: Drug use
Minor: Racism
lennie_reads's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Thanks to Netgalley & Random House UK, Cornerstone, Arrow for my ARC.
This book hurt my heart.
It hurt for both Soraya and her mum, Neda, as well as Soraya's siblings and Magnus.
Whilst romance is a part of this book, there is a Lot more to it than that.
The book is a dual pov and also a dual timeline. We have Soraya in 2014 fresh out of university and Neda, her mother, at around the same age in 1970's Iran.
This book was a lot heavier than I expected and features struggles around identity, societal expectations, cultural differences, religious expectations, being a person of colour growing up in britian, living as an immigrant in Britain, sexism, harassment, domestic abuse, drug addiction and more.
Even though it was heartbreaking I really appreciated the dual timelines and seeing how Soraya's parents came to be the way they were.
I'm a white woman who doesn't come from a strict religious background so I can't speak to the authenticity of the representation but it was a harrowing tale nonetheless. All I know is I just wanted to hug Soraya and Neda.
This book hurt my heart.
It hurt for both Soraya and her mum, Neda, as well as Soraya's siblings and Magnus.
Whilst romance is a part of this book, there is a Lot more to it than that.
The book is a dual pov and also a dual timeline. We have Soraya in 2014 fresh out of university and Neda, her mother, at around the same age in 1970's Iran.
This book was a lot heavier than I expected and features struggles around identity, societal expectations, cultural differences, religious expectations, being a person of colour growing up in britian, living as an immigrant in Britain, sexism, harassment, domestic abuse, drug addiction and more.
Even though it was heartbreaking I really appreciated the dual timelines and seeing how Soraya's parents came to be the way they were.
I'm a white woman who doesn't come from a strict religious background so I can't speak to the authenticity of the representation but it was a harrowing tale nonetheless. All I know is I just wanted to hug Soraya and Neda.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Drug use, Domestic abuse, Addiction, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Violence, and Racism
Moderate: Islamophobia, Misogyny, Sexual content, Fatphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Body shaming, Toxic relationship, Infidelity, and Self harm
lyla_wicks's review against another edition
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
though this book was marketed as a romance, it is definitely more of a coming of age story, and although i still found this quite interesting to read about, i wish we saw more of the romance, and i wasn’t too invested in the mum’s plot line. despite this, i really loved the writing and came to really like the characters
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Islamophobia, Domestic abuse, Addiction, and Drug use
greisreads's review
emotional
reflective
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This is a story that felt close to home as I read it. It follows the perspectives of Neda and her daughter Soraya throughout two different times. It is about family, and struggling to find your own identity while trying to please your immigrant parents and maintain your roots, while trying to blend in with your peers. How isolating of an experience that can be when the people around you can't relate to what you're going through, especially when you're a WOC and you find yourself in predominantly white spaces. It's the resentment and anger you feel for your parents while simultaneously understanding why they are the way that they are.
Soraya is a character that I see much of myself in and that I suspect a lot of young women will as well. She's graduated university, she has no idea what she's doing with her life, she can't for the life of her find a job related to what she's got a degree in, she keeps her feelings bottled up and hides her true self from her family, and she feels a seething rage that she desperately tries to hide. The anger she feels towards her father for his sedentary lifestyle and the way he tries to control them all. The anger she feels towards the sexism in her culture and how she can only bite her tongue and ignore it because she can't change it. The anger she feels at her mother because she will not leave her father and puts them all through this existence. The constant anxiety she feels of doing what she wants and makes her happy and worrying that she is disappointing her parents and being a bad Muslim. The joy and jealousy she feels for her friends who seem as if they're making strides towards their dreams while she remains stagnant.
Neda is a character that brings to mind my own mom. She is a deeply religious woman who finds comfort in her practice and uses it as a coping mechanism throughout her life. But she is also a deeply unlikeable, judgemental, and condescending woman. Jafari has done a great job of getting you to empathize with her and understand the complexity of her circumstances even as she makes this woman....an asshole. Neda is an extremely intelligent, successful, and resilient woman, and you feel for her and the husband she's found herself shackled to that she has to mother. And at the same time, it makes you think of so many women you know in your own life stuck in the same position.
Her anger is your anger throughout the book. But you also get annoyed with her. Because while Islam has brought her comfort and control in her life, she fails to grasp that it's not the solution to the problem of every person in her life and so she comes across as patronizing when her solution always involves being more pious. She judges the people around her because they do not practice as she practices and constantly thinks about how they should be. It's a constant balance of feeling sorry for her because she must carry every burden on her shoulder and it's what makes her this way, and wanting to roll your eyes.
Even Hossein, in the end, as much as you hate him, when you see him discussing how deeply he hates his life and hates himself, you can't help but feel pity for him. And these contradicting feelings are portrayed so well in the character's themselves. He doesn't deserve our pity because he is an awful man, but you can't help it when you see how broken he is. Magnus is a character that I also really liked for the most part. But I suspect that's because I have a thing for brawny rugby players. But anyway. There are a few moments where he's kind of a shit person but I also realize that I have unrealistic moral standards when it comes to people so that's on me. But it was so annoying when he failed to grasp why Soraya was so frustrated with him because he has literally zero standards when it comes to friends.
He associates himself with some of the grossest people they went to uni with whom, are implied, to be sleazy people who say and do questionable things. He brushes their antics off as a joke or not serious when they're actually deeply reflective of their deeper thoughts and feelings. And it's at total odds from how he is with Soraya, so it's kind of like why do you even hang out with these people? What does this say about you as a person that you are willing to tolerate this low level behaviour from your social group? But ultimately, I think this makes him a more realistic character.
Ultimately, this book was, in an indirect way, about the relationship between mother's and daughters. About trying to understand your mother even while you're angry at her. About the way your mother's trauma is passed onto you and influences your life. About your mother healing and acknowledging the way that she has influenced you.
I absolutely cannot recommend this enough and I'll definitely be reading again in the future (and getting my hands on my own copy of this).
CW: domestic abuse, addiction, drug use.
Soraya is a character that I see much of myself in and that I suspect a lot of young women will as well. She's graduated university, she has no idea what she's doing with her life, she can't for the life of her find a job related to what she's got a degree in, she keeps her feelings bottled up and hides her true self from her family, and she feels a seething rage that she desperately tries to hide. The anger she feels towards her father for his sedentary lifestyle and the way he tries to control them all. The anger she feels towards the sexism in her culture and how she can only bite her tongue and ignore it because she can't change it. The anger she feels at her mother because she will not leave her father and puts them all through this existence. The constant anxiety she feels of doing what she wants and makes her happy and worrying that she is disappointing her parents and being a bad Muslim. The joy and jealousy she feels for her friends who seem as if they're making strides towards their dreams while she remains stagnant.
Neda is a character that brings to mind my own mom. She is a deeply religious woman who finds comfort in her practice and uses it as a coping mechanism throughout her life. But she is also a deeply unlikeable, judgemental, and condescending woman. Jafari has done a great job of getting you to empathize with her and understand the complexity of her circumstances even as she makes this woman....an asshole. Neda is an extremely intelligent, successful, and resilient woman, and you feel for her and the husband she's found herself shackled to that she has to mother. And at the same time, it makes you think of so many women you know in your own life stuck in the same position.
Her anger is your anger throughout the book. But you also get annoyed with her. Because while Islam has brought her comfort and control in her life, she fails to grasp that it's not the solution to the problem of every person in her life and so she comes across as patronizing when her solution always involves being more pious. She judges the people around her because they do not practice as she practices and constantly thinks about how they should be. It's a constant balance of feeling sorry for her because she must carry every burden on her shoulder and it's what makes her this way, and wanting to roll your eyes.
Even Hossein, in the end, as much as you hate him, when you see him discussing how deeply he hates his life and hates himself, you can't help but feel pity for him. And these contradicting feelings are portrayed so well in the character's themselves. He doesn't deserve our pity because he is an awful man, but you can't help it when you see how broken he is. Magnus is a character that I also really liked for the most part. But I suspect that's because I have a thing for brawny rugby players. But anyway. There are a few moments where he's kind of a shit person but I also realize that I have unrealistic moral standards when it comes to people so that's on me. But it was so annoying when he failed to grasp why Soraya was so frustrated with him because he has literally zero standards when it comes to friends.
He associates himself with some of the grossest people they went to uni with whom, are implied, to be sleazy people who say and do questionable things. He brushes their antics off as a joke or not serious when they're actually deeply reflective of their deeper thoughts and feelings. And it's at total odds from how he is with Soraya, so it's kind of like why do you even hang out with these people? What does this say about you as a person that you are willing to tolerate this low level behaviour from your social group? But ultimately, I think this makes him a more realistic character.
Ultimately, this book was, in an indirect way, about the relationship between mother's and daughters. About trying to understand your mother even while you're angry at her. About the way your mother's trauma is passed onto you and influences your life. About your mother healing and acknowledging the way that she has influenced you.
I absolutely cannot recommend this enough and I'll definitely be reading again in the future (and getting my hands on my own copy of this).
CW: domestic abuse, addiction, drug use.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Domestic abuse, and Drug use
sridevi93's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Addiction, and Drug use
Moderate: Physical abuse and Emotional abuse
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
heavygloom's review
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.0
I found this book to be very relatable, mostly in the aspect of Soraya’s social and work life. No one really tells you how scary life is after college and how lonely it can be. great read.
Content Warnings
Minor: Drug abuse, Drug use, Religious bigotry, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse
sfbookgirl's review
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
The Mismatch is a modern-day love story involving cultural customs, dysfunctional family issues, and forbidden love. Recent university graduate Soraya Nazari thinks it is about time that she experiences life to the fullest. After being raised in a somewhat constrictive household of Iranian immigrants, Soraya decides to experience a budding romance with one of her old classmates, Mangus.
But what becomes a casual fling turns into something more. The Mismatch also interweaves Soraya’s mother’s young adult life before immigrating to England. I found these chapters to be the most eye-opening and captivating. The Mismatch is an unconventional love story that I would say is more of a character study than a romance, but I still enjoyed the book for its insight into a culture unlike my own.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Sexual content
allisonwonderlandreads's review
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
"Now, her future lay ahead of her, with no plan, no time line of what was to come, and she realized she was falling facefirst, ungracefully, into adulthood."
I'm not sure I would categorize this book as a romance because it limits the scope and focus of all this book is. It's a poignant look at the transition from college to "adulthood," such that that means anything. It's nerve-wracking, overwhelming, and portrayed with astute detail here. British-Iranian Soraya is our protagonist. We join her as she struggles with finding a job and a passion (separate but related questions), feels crushed by family secrets and expectations, and experiments with her first romantic relationship. The story also draws attention to racist and xenophobic experiences and sexist encounters that bombard Soraya's journey.
In terms of the romance, I appreciated the acknowledgment of pre-dating stress and the feeling you need to hit certain landmarks. Soraya and I are motivated by different things, but I appreciated the similar anxieties around not fitting the commonly expected dating mold. While I think there's a burgeoning conversation among millennials about how unhealthy it is to compare milestones with others, I often feel dating expectations are still somewhat assumed. On the other hand, I'm with Soraya's friends that I still wasn't completely Team Magnus by the end of the book. There are still some unresolved red flags with him that I would ideally want addressed. I felt the author skimmed through the relationship for overall effect rather than building up ooey-gooey romantic feelings in the readers. That's part of the reason that I think this works more as a general fiction piece.
Another layer of the story is the background chapters following Soraya's mother Neda, starting in 1970s Tehran. It builds up intrigue by contrasting a bright, young academic and romantic finding her future husband to a future where she can't stand him. There's also the specter of Soraya's older sister Laleh in the 1990s. Cut off from the family under secretive circumstances, her absence is mysterious and lingering, suspicious and upsetting.
We do get a lot of Soraya's thoughts and struggles with internalized guilt and shame, and I think those portions were striking. It covers weighty topics from anxiety to the ramifications of domestic abuse and addiction in the family. There were many quotes I highlighted for their insightfulness so I could consider them again in future.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Infidelity, Kidnapping, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and Xenophobia
Moderate: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, and Grief
Minor: Death of parent, Gaslighting, Homophobia, and War
zsh's review
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Drug abuse, and Domestic abuse
Minor: Sexual content