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4.39 AVERAGE
4.39 AVERAGE
emotional
medium-paced
“I know that in some countries, getting an education is a woman’s right, but from where I came, it was not.”
"My son, in your motherland the mentioning of a woman's name outside the family circle is a source of shame."
"I am trying to save myself and, by doing that, perhaps save other women as well."
"Pain and grief adorn a woman, she said. You should accept if for your own comfort."
Homeira Qaderi was born in Afghanistan and spent her 17 years in the midst of war. First at the hands of the Russians and then at the hands of the Taliban. During the latter, strict rules were enforced regarding women's participation in afghani society and culture. Women were to be kept off the streets unless accompanied by a related male and absolutely no form of education for women was tolerated. Being the rebel she is Qaderi decided to continue learning and teaching the younger generation of Afghanistan in secret. Even as she encountered near death experiences Qaderi's will to continue learning never wavered. At the age of 17 she was married off, for her own protection and dignity, to a (Afghani) man she never met or knew. As luck would have it the two of them settled in Iran and Homeira continued her education eventually earning a PhD. Shortly after, the two moved back to Afghanistan and the condition of her life regressed to her childhood. Qaderi writes this book in an attempt to tell her life story to first and most important audience member: her son. Due to child custody laws, upon a divorce women lose any and all parental rights to their children.
I don’t know if I have the proper words to articulate how deeply I felt this book. Having grown up in Pakistan for the first decade of my life and being a South Asian woman, the community subscribes to a lot of ideologies and beliefs presented in this book. The existence of a women and girls is often viewed as a lesson or punishment or a debt that can only be paid off by accepting the conditions of our life. We are instructed to do as we are told and any consequences of rebellion is our own doing.
There were many parts in the book where I felt like I was reading a chapter out of my own life. For instance Homeira's mother and grandmother often scold her for not being as accommodating and subservient as girls ought to be. I see this so often in Pakistani and Indian culture. While men set the agenda for how a woman should behave, its other women (often mothers) that further that agenda by enforcing the demands a woman must comply with.
The pursuit of education for Homeira and other girls in this book was perhaps the most touching to me. A few years ago I had the chance to reconnect with girls I was friends with back home. I was saddened to learn that most if not all had not pursued education because for a woman education was not seen as important nor was it encouraged. I know women in my family who have married men overseas and had their in laws make request that they not pursue education or work because that's their husband's job. All this is to say that of course taking education away from girls and woman is done so widely because it serves as a tool for oppression. On the surface reading Charles Dickens or learning how to calculate an integral poses no threat. What these practices actually do is teach you how to think, how to question your beliefs and others. This is something that many women in these cultures and countries are actively discouraged to do.
I would recommend this book a hundred times over especially if you've had the privilege of living in a place where such practices do not occur.
"My son, in your motherland the mentioning of a woman's name outside the family circle is a source of shame."
"I am trying to save myself and, by doing that, perhaps save other women as well."
"Pain and grief adorn a woman, she said. You should accept if for your own comfort."
Homeira Qaderi was born in Afghanistan and spent her 17 years in the midst of war. First at the hands of the Russians and then at the hands of the Taliban. During the latter, strict rules were enforced regarding women's participation in afghani society and culture. Women were to be kept off the streets unless accompanied by a related male and absolutely no form of education for women was tolerated. Being the rebel she is Qaderi decided to continue learning and teaching the younger generation of Afghanistan in secret. Even as she encountered near death experiences Qaderi's will to continue learning never wavered. At the age of 17 she was married off, for her own protection and dignity, to a (Afghani) man she never met or knew. As luck would have it the two of them settled in Iran and Homeira continued her education eventually earning a PhD. Shortly after, the two moved back to Afghanistan and the condition of her life regressed to her childhood. Qaderi writes this book in an attempt to tell her life story to first and most important audience member: her son. Due to child custody laws, upon a divorce women lose any and all parental rights to their children.
I don’t know if I have the proper words to articulate how deeply I felt this book. Having grown up in Pakistan for the first decade of my life and being a South Asian woman, the community subscribes to a lot of ideologies and beliefs presented in this book. The existence of a women and girls is often viewed as a lesson or punishment or a debt that can only be paid off by accepting the conditions of our life. We are instructed to do as we are told and any consequences of rebellion is our own doing.
There were many parts in the book where I felt like I was reading a chapter out of my own life. For instance Homeira's mother and grandmother often scold her for not being as accommodating and subservient as girls ought to be. I see this so often in Pakistani and Indian culture. While men set the agenda for how a woman should behave, its other women (often mothers) that further that agenda by enforcing the demands a woman must comply with.
The pursuit of education for Homeira and other girls in this book was perhaps the most touching to me. A few years ago I had the chance to reconnect with girls I was friends with back home. I was saddened to learn that most if not all had not pursued education because for a woman education was not seen as important nor was it encouraged. I know women in my family who have married men overseas and had their in laws make request that they not pursue education or work because that's their husband's job. All this is to say that of course taking education away from girls and woman is done so widely because it serves as a tool for oppression. On the surface reading Charles Dickens or learning how to calculate an integral poses no threat. What these practices actually do is teach you how to think, how to question your beliefs and others. This is something that many women in these cultures and countries are actively discouraged to do.
I would recommend this book a hundred times over especially if you've had the privilege of living in a place where such practices do not occur.
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
medium-paced
Every now and then, I read a book which leaves a mark on my heart. Dancing in the Mosque is one of those books.
Homeira Qaderi takes us on a heartbreaking, yet brutally honest tour of her life growing up in Herat, Afghanistan. She describes her experiences of the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s, the period of strained peace which ensued following this, and the eventual rise of the Taliban, and the establishment of the Taliban Government. Unlike other stories of Afghanistan, Qaderi takes us on this journey through her own looking glass, a collection of memories and emotions that she retained from her childhood. We follow her as she grows into a headstrong young woman, and the ways in which young Homeira defies the shackles of the Sharia law that the Taliban impose, in her own little ways. Eventually, Homeira is married, and we see glimpses of her life in Tehran, before moving back to Afghanistan, to Kabul.
The beautiful narrative style that Qaderi commands is interspersed with extracts of letters to her young son, which serves as a reminder to us all - Homeira Qaderi didn't write this book for our consumption. This is a labour of love, a love letter to her son. And we are lucky to have been able to read it.
Homeira Qaderi takes us on a heartbreaking, yet brutally honest tour of her life growing up in Herat, Afghanistan. She describes her experiences of the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s, the period of strained peace which ensued following this, and the eventual rise of the Taliban, and the establishment of the Taliban Government. Unlike other stories of Afghanistan, Qaderi takes us on this journey through her own looking glass, a collection of memories and emotions that she retained from her childhood. We follow her as she grows into a headstrong young woman, and the ways in which young Homeira defies the shackles of the Sharia law that the Taliban impose, in her own little ways. Eventually, Homeira is married, and we see glimpses of her life in Tehran, before moving back to Afghanistan, to Kabul.
The beautiful narrative style that Qaderi commands is interspersed with extracts of letters to her young son, which serves as a reminder to us all - Homeira Qaderi didn't write this book for our consumption. This is a labour of love, a love letter to her son. And we are lucky to have been able to read it.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape, Sexual assault
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
The experiences Qaderi shares with us are deeply personal, at at times, traumatic. However, I feel as if her translator did not do a good enough job
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Murder
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
I'm usually a fan of books presenting the cultural traditions and atmosphere in different countries, but this one fell short. There wasn't much character development, so the ones featured felt flat and unimpressive. I wasn't a huge fan of the format as well. Each chapter ended with a letter to get son relating to the present with the previous part of it describing the author's past while gradually leading to the present moment and how she got there. The two parts felt completely disjointed and forced together instead of smoothly blending. For such serious topics, such as feminism, sacrifice and trying to survive as a woman in a patriarchal and misogynistic society, I feel this book should've offered way more.
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced