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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
reflective
medium-paced
very reflective. damn this girl lowkey have anxiety tho
medium-paced
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
Man, I was excited about this. I did not expect or want an expose or tell-all about Mulaney. I wanted to hear about AMT's life and experiences.
I am sorely disappointed. AMT is so very self centered. I know that a memoir is something written about you, but even in this, she turns everything to make it about herself, especially towards the end. The thing that *really* got me was the DBT group with the older man, Eric. Not everything is about you, babe. Stop projecting your hatred onto every man in existence. Not every action and movement of a man is a slight or a dig at you. From there, it just devolves into hateful speech and a hateful attitude towards nearly everyone around her. She spent so much of the book demonizing half the people in it. I didn't live her experience so I can't say what's true, but she feels very unreliable. I felt like I couldn't trust what she was saying and the way she was talking about the various people in her life who wronged her. For example, the therapist - did she actually say the things that AMT says she did, or is AMT engaging in overdramatic hyperbole to garner sympathy? On the note of those that have hurt her, her mother reminds me a lot of my own - maladjusted and incredibly damaging when I was a child, but has since grown up and acts mostly like a normal human. That does not excuse or absolve her of the damage she did, and I felt AMT spent the entire book in denial of the clear and obvious damage that her mother did.
AMT is so, so deeply unwell. I understand that she doesn't deny it, but I had no idea the extent and depth of her visceral hate. Her hatred of men is pathological. I firmly believe she should have waited to write this memoir until she could speak constructively with even a minute amount of objectivity about her own experiences rather than speaking only with venom and hatred. I DID enjoy the sections on her hospital stay, but really struggled beyond that. Yes, men are a largely damaged, frustrating, and often toxic group, mostly due to them being victims of the patriarchy just as AMT is, but things like this rhetoric accomplish nothing. It's also very odd and frustrating that she continues with this hateful rhetoric but does nothing to decentralize men from her life, continuing to rely on them for financial stability and validation, yet still uses them as a vessel for her unregulated hate and rage. The latter part of this book reads like an obnoxious tirade with no substance or depth.
The anti-modern medicine take is frustrating as well, especially since she benefited greatly from engaging with many parts of modern medicine. The cherry on top was the denial of the BPD diagnosis and the immediate demonizing of the hospital staff. Instead of thoughtfully considering her diagnosis and objectively thinking about what was written, she fell straight into "they're men so they're wrong and have wronged me specifically."
I sympathize with her struggles (from being an anxious introvert [which is not a groundbreaking or special thing to be] to a tough childhood to time in intensive psychiatric programs, all of which I have experienced and related to deeply), but this should not have been written or released in this state.
TLDR - YIKES 😬
I am sorely disappointed. AMT is so very self centered. I know that a memoir is something written about you, but even in this, she turns everything to make it about herself, especially towards the end. The thing that *really* got me was the DBT group with the older man, Eric. Not everything is about you, babe. Stop projecting your hatred onto every man in existence. Not every action and movement of a man is a slight or a dig at you. From there, it just devolves into hateful speech and a hateful attitude towards nearly everyone around her. She spent so much of the book demonizing half the people in it. I didn't live her experience so I can't say what's true, but she feels very unreliable. I felt like I couldn't trust what she was saying and the way she was talking about the various people in her life who wronged her. For example, the therapist - did she actually say the things that AMT says she did, or is AMT engaging in overdramatic hyperbole to garner sympathy? On the note of those that have hurt her, her mother reminds me a lot of my own - maladjusted and incredibly damaging when I was a child, but has since grown up and acts mostly like a normal human. That does not excuse or absolve her of the damage she did, and I felt AMT spent the entire book in denial of the clear and obvious damage that her mother did.
AMT is so, so deeply unwell. I understand that she doesn't deny it, but I had no idea the extent and depth of her visceral hate. Her hatred of men is pathological. I firmly believe she should have waited to write this memoir until she could speak constructively with even a minute amount of objectivity about her own experiences rather than speaking only with venom and hatred. I DID enjoy the sections on her hospital stay, but really struggled beyond that. Yes, men are a largely damaged, frustrating, and often toxic group, mostly due to them being victims of the patriarchy just as AMT is, but things like this rhetoric accomplish nothing. It's also very odd and frustrating that she continues with this hateful rhetoric but does nothing to decentralize men from her life, continuing to rely on them for financial stability and validation, yet still uses them as a vessel for her unregulated hate and rage. The latter part of this book reads like an obnoxious tirade with no substance or depth.
The anti-modern medicine take is frustrating as well, especially since she benefited greatly from engaging with many parts of modern medicine. The cherry on top was the denial of the BPD diagnosis and the immediate demonizing of the hospital staff. Instead of thoughtfully considering her diagnosis and objectively thinking about what was written, she fell straight into "they're men so they're wrong and have wronged me specifically."
I sympathize with her struggles (from being an anxious introvert [which is not a groundbreaking or special thing to be] to a tough childhood to time in intensive psychiatric programs, all of which I have experienced and related to deeply), but this should not have been written or released in this state.
TLDR - YIKES 😬
reflective
slow-paced
reflective
medium-paced
I like Anna Marie as an artist, and she inspires me in a lot of ways. I felt this read was a bit choppy all the way through. While I didn’t have any expectations going into it, I ended up feeling kind of indifferent about it as a memoir, if not wholly unsatisfied.
This is a hard one to review. I was initially looking forward to it because of my interest in Tendler’s art, and let’s face it - her divorce from John Mulaney. Anyone hoping for gossipy dish will be sorely disappointed. This is one woman’s mental health diary that draws obvious comparisons to Susanna Kaysen. It’s interesting and well written, I went through it very quickly. But, given the attention and column inches given to boyfriends before and after Mulaney, I have to wonder if his omission was her choice out of a mutual respect they’ve come to, or if she had some kind of NDA/mutual NDA keeping her mum.
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
As a feminist and mental health advocate- this is a hard review to write.
In "Men Have Called Her Crazy," Anna Marie Tendler dives into her rocky relationships with men, but I found the story to be a bit disconnected. While her anger towards men is *extremely* intense, it often feels out of place. For someone who claims to hate men, she completely relies on them financially and emotionally. Even after her hospital stay and divorce, she seems to fall into the same patterns, which makes it hard to see any real growth in the memoir. I was also left wondering if her feelings stem more from her past and with her relationships with WOMEN, especially her complicated relationship with her mother, rather than just her experiences with men.
Tendler shares some tough dating stories, but I couldn't help but question what she brought to the table in those relationships. (No there is no excuse for a 30 year old to date a 16 year old --- she also justifies this and is only starting to see that something "might" be weird about it... *ick*). She tends to lean on men for financial support and often jumps ship on careers at the first sign of trouble, which makes it difficult to view her struggles as purely the fault of others. It would have been great to see her take more accountability for her part in these dynamics.
That said, there are definitely relatable moments throughout, especially for white women navigating dating in today’s world. Still, I felt like she left out some big pieces of her life—like her marriage/divorce and extremely privileged lifestyle—which made her story feel a bit incomplete. Overall, while she offers some great insights, the book could use a little more self-reflection and nuance about her relationships.
I don’t even know where to begin with the eating disorder. Someone noted this as a memoir of someone who is completely unhealed and not ready to be writing these experiences and I feel that.
In "Men Have Called Her Crazy," Anna Marie Tendler dives into her rocky relationships with men, but I found the story to be a bit disconnected. While her anger towards men is *extremely* intense, it often feels out of place. For someone who claims to hate men, she completely relies on them financially and emotionally. Even after her hospital stay and divorce, she seems to fall into the same patterns, which makes it hard to see any real growth in the memoir. I was also left wondering if her feelings stem more from her past and with her relationships with WOMEN, especially her complicated relationship with her mother, rather than just her experiences with men.
Tendler shares some tough dating stories, but I couldn't help but question what she brought to the table in those relationships. (No there is no excuse for a 30 year old to date a 16 year old --- she also justifies this and is only starting to see that something "might" be weird about it... *ick*). She tends to lean on men for financial support and often jumps ship on careers at the first sign of trouble, which makes it difficult to view her struggles as purely the fault of others. It would have been great to see her take more accountability for her part in these dynamics.
That said, there are definitely relatable moments throughout, especially for white women navigating dating in today’s world. Still, I felt like she left out some big pieces of her life—like her marriage/divorce and extremely privileged lifestyle—which made her story feel a bit incomplete. Overall, while she offers some great insights, the book could use a little more self-reflection and nuance about her relationships.
I don’t even know where to begin with the eating disorder. Someone noted this as a memoir of someone who is completely unhealed and not ready to be writing these experiences and I feel that.
*feminine rage in the form of crying* one of my personal favorites