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tophat8855's review
5.0
Listened on Hoopla. A good reminder to keep talking to my kids about sex and relationships. This book focuses a lot on hook up culture. I do appreciate that some examples of the trans man experience were included.
michelleloretta's review against another edition
4.0
Balanced and fair. She taps into boys’ emotions and how they’re shortchanged in their development of meaningful connections. This book goes beyond just a conversation about consent. She closes with actionable conversations to have with boys.
emilyhwinn's review
5.0
A must-read if you are raising a child or teen, love a child or teen or know a child or teen. And yes that is everyone. Prepare to be uncomfortable but in a necessary and important way.
alexisrt's review
4.0
This is the followup to Orenstein's book on Girls and Sex. In order to be comparable, she restricts herself to a similar set, which has class limitations (she acknowledges this upfront). However she does specifically examine LGBTQ teens and pays specific attention to nonwhite kids.
It's a brisk, easy read that relies heavily on interviews, with backup research: the effect of porn on teenage boys (poor), consent, masculinity, assault, hookup culture. The key takeaways here are that we need to be having a lot more conversations with our sons about their feelings, about healthy relationships, about sexuality, about how porn differs from real sex (especially when you consume a great deal of porn before having ever had real world experience), assault, hookup culture and being able to decide what you want out of an encounter, and consent--not just verbal yes and no, but reading emotions, not coercing women, and what respect really means.
It's a brisk, easy read that relies heavily on interviews, with backup research: the effect of porn on teenage boys (poor), consent, masculinity, assault, hookup culture. The key takeaways here are that we need to be having a lot more conversations with our sons about their feelings, about healthy relationships, about sexuality, about how porn differs from real sex (especially when you consume a great deal of porn before having ever had real world experience), assault, hookup culture and being able to decide what you want out of an encounter, and consent--not just verbal yes and no, but reading emotions, not coercing women, and what respect really means.
jazminrose's review
4.0
I did like this book more than it’s predecessor, ‘Girls and Sex’. And I would recommend it more widely than that book. It felt (mostly) fresher and more modern. But it still had some of the same setbacks.
Again, there was only one chapter about queer boys, rather than weaving this information throughout. (Though this one chapter was immensely improved from the similar chapter about girls in the author’s other book.) And again, too many of the boys interviewed were white and middle class.
Don’t even get me started on how much I wish there was more discussion of ethical porn!!
The final chapter also grated on me. I agree beyond any doubt that parents must talk to their children about sex. However, Orenstein frames this as being especially important because boys liked learning from her, a stranger, so imagine what they’ll learn from a parent. She also mentions outside educators coming into classrooms instead of information coming from parents. But we know that teens learn more and retain more about sexual health from outside educators! The data shows they feel more comfortable and are more willing to ask questions when the educator is not someone they know in their personal life! AHHHHHHHHGGG!!
Again, there was only one chapter about queer boys, rather than weaving this information throughout. (Though this one chapter was immensely improved from the similar chapter about girls in the author’s other book.) And again, too many of the boys interviewed were white and middle class.
Don’t even get me started on how much I wish there was more discussion of ethical porn!!
The final chapter also grated on me. I agree beyond any doubt that parents must talk to their children about sex. However, Orenstein frames this as being especially important because boys liked learning from her, a stranger, so imagine what they’ll learn from a parent. She also mentions outside educators coming into classrooms instead of information coming from parents. But we know that teens learn more and retain more about sexual health from outside educators! The data shows they feel more comfortable and are more willing to ask questions when the educator is not someone they know in their personal life! AHHHHHHHHGGG!!