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103 reviews for:
The American Association of Patriots Presents: How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Zachary Auburn
103 reviews for:
The American Association of Patriots Presents: How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Zachary Auburn
A friend of mine got me this book for Christmas. I love cats and satire. It was the perfect gift. This short novel is filled with eight essential topics to speak with your cat about ranging from puberty to satanism.
This parody had many laugh out loud moments (that were, unfortunately, read in a public setting). There is photographic accompaniment that fits into the chapters perfectly. Who doesn’t like cat pictures? It was the perfect lighthearted, fun read which I desperately needed. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves cats and humour.
Just because cats are natural hunters, that doesn't mean they automatically know about gun safety.
Just imagine the negative images they get on TV. Watching Tom and Jerry or Sylvester the Cat from Looney Tunes could give them the idea that guns are toys. They. Are. Not!
Read this book and help them to understand the importance of gun safety.
But this book collects several pamphlets from The American Association of Patriots and you won‰ЫЄt be disappointed with the info that can be gleaned from this book.
On talking to your cat about evolution:
‰ЫПThe Bible states that God created each animal ‰ЫПaccording to its kind.‰Ыќ This means that it is entirely possible for two cats to mate and produce a new kind of cat. It is, after all, still a cat. Evolutionists, on the other hand, take this many steps further. They claim that most of our modern-day animals evolved from monkeys: that at some point in the past two monkeys mated and a kitten was the result. These are the big evolutions our enemies claim created the world we see today. Dinosaurs giving birth to bears, sea urchins giving birth to penguins, ducks giving birth to snakes, and other ridiculous scenarios, the very idea of which is an abomination to our Lord.‰Ыќ
It also talks about the dangers of adopting from that hotbed of leftist propaganda, the Humane Society; a cat from there will likely try to corrupt your other cats with evolutionist lies.
On talking to your cat about puberty and homosexuality:
‰ЫПIf your cat tells you they‰ЫЄre gay, or even if you just suspect they are, it‰ЫЄs important to let your cat know you love them‰ЫУno matter what‰ЫУeven if Jesus won‰ЫЄt because of their horrible sins.‰Ыќ
On talking to your cat about on-line dangers (and purrnography isn‰ЫЄt the only danger lurking there):
‰ЫПWhile the sheer volume of cats ensnared by games such as this one is a testament to how addictive online games can be, the greatest danger is not the possibility of addiction, or even the threat posed by the many sexual predators who use the games to meet unsuspecting kittens. No, the danger is that these games frequently have strong elements of fantasy and magic, which are used to indoctrinate innocent cats to the teachings of Satanism! We have seen reports that players in World of Warcat can cast spells, summon demons, and participate in virtual orgies with goat-legged satyrs. Let your cat play these games at their peril: once your cat begins using magic to invoke foul abyssal beings online, it is only a matter of time before they‰ЫЄll be doing the same in real life!‰Ыќ
But there‰ЫЄs also a whole pamphlet dedicated to Satanism. This is a real danger to your feline friend(s). One important note:
‰ЫПOne trendy ‰ЫПreligion‰Ыќ that is rapidly gaining in popularity is the cult of Wicca. In actuality, Wicca is merely watered-down Satanism, luring foolish young women with liberal arts degrees into lesbian covens where they worship a goddess and their menses.‰Ыќ
There are several other pamphlets contained in this one, including talking to your cat about Abstinence, and about Postapocalyptic Survival.
One great thing, though ‰ЫТ is that this organization has printed several other pamphlets. A review at the back reveals some other great publications outlining things that you really need to talk to your cat about:
Biblical Literalism
Divorce
Gamergate
Georgia O‰ЫЄKeefe
Global Warming
Hippies
Immigration
Miscegination
Post-Modern Architecture
Secret Minecraft Techniques
Social Justice Warriors
States Rights
And that‰ЫЄs just the tip of the iceberg!!
So if you don‰ЫЄt want your cat to turn into some kind of pinko liberal, you need to read this book, and GO TALK TO YOUR CAT!
Thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for a copy in return for an honest review.