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3.85 AVERAGE
3.85 AVERAGE
I was skeptical when a friend gave me this for Christmas but I'm so glad she did. An honest and often heart wrenching account of how you need to work on friendship to keep it going and be there for each other. I will definitely be recommending to others
emotional
informative
lighthearted
slow-paced
I was expecting more of a research-based book than one about 2 friends and their experiences. I appreciate their perspective, experiences, and thoughts on Big Friendship. I also heard of Shine Theory, but didn’t know it came from them. Overall, a solid 3 star book.
I wanted to like this book way more than I actually did. The premise is great—in a world that places such significance on romantic and familial bonds, I was excited to see an honest exploration of what role friendships play in our lives and how we can nourish them. However, this felt too much like a diary/personal accounting of a specific friendship journey than anything—the “we” in the book’s subtitle really refers to the two co-authors more than the generalizable reading public. That said, this book was certainly not short on insights (e.g., the role of friend webs, shine theory, friendship as performance, navigating friendship across race and class) and did encourage me to reflect on my own “big” friendships.
Filing this one under the “could’ve/should’ve been a long form Atlantic article” category.
2.5-3 star range.
Filing this one under the “could’ve/should’ve been a long form Atlantic article” category.
2.5-3 star range.
It was striking that this was the first book on (female) friendships that I've ever read. Sow and Friedman talk honestly and engagingly about their own friendship in a way that it is easily applicable and generalizable to one's own friendships. They do a great job highlighting how important friendships truly are, even though they're often a type of relationship taken for granted, and easily cast aside for the other relationships in your life ex. family, romantic.
The most notable part of the book is that Sow and Friedman spend a good chunk of time on friendships when they *don't* work and what to do about those patchy points. This is quite rare - as most media we consume focuses on the friendships that do work, and how easy and seamless it is - which is why I think this book particularly stands out. For the ubiquity of friendships, it's surprising that there is so little on what exactly friendship entails: how to form lasting friendships, how to keep nurturing them, what to do when things are tough. And I think Sow and Friedman's frank discussion on their own friendship rough patch was what particularly resonated with me, because it was good to realize that it's more common to experience this than realized.
Throughout the book, Sow and Friedman back up some concepts they experience in their friendship with research so it's not completely anecdotal, but overall this isn't supposed to be *THE* definitive book on friendship, but one to start with, so it doesn't need to be rigorous by any means. It honestly reads more like a self-help article/column in a woman's magazine that skews a little younger.
Overall, the book was entertaining and enlightening. Sow and Friedman allow us into the intricacies of their friendship - the good parts and the ugly parts - that serve as a great mirror for us to view our own friendships. Objectively, I felt this book was more 4 stars. However, for being one of the few books on friendship out there, and mostly for first mover advantage, I'm bumping it up to 5. I think it's a great book for everyone in their 20s and 30s (and perhaps older!) to read and use to reflect on their own friendships. There aren't enough prompts or guides on such an important relationship such as friendship. While this is not the *definitive* read by any means, it's a great start.
The most notable part of the book is that Sow and Friedman spend a good chunk of time on friendships when they *don't* work and what to do about those patchy points. This is quite rare - as most media we consume focuses on the friendships that do work, and how easy and seamless it is - which is why I think this book particularly stands out. For the ubiquity of friendships, it's surprising that there is so little on what exactly friendship entails: how to form lasting friendships, how to keep nurturing them, what to do when things are tough. And I think Sow and Friedman's frank discussion on their own friendship rough patch was what particularly resonated with me, because it was good to realize that it's more common to experience this than realized.
Throughout the book, Sow and Friedman back up some concepts they experience in their friendship with research so it's not completely anecdotal, but overall this isn't supposed to be *THE* definitive book on friendship, but one to start with, so it doesn't need to be rigorous by any means. It honestly reads more like a self-help article/column in a woman's magazine that skews a little younger.
Overall, the book was entertaining and enlightening. Sow and Friedman allow us into the intricacies of their friendship - the good parts and the ugly parts - that serve as a great mirror for us to view our own friendships. Objectively, I felt this book was more 4 stars. However, for being one of the few books on friendship out there, and mostly for first mover advantage, I'm bumping it up to 5. I think it's a great book for everyone in their 20s and 30s (and perhaps older!) to read and use to reflect on their own friendships. There aren't enough prompts or guides on such an important relationship such as friendship. While this is not the *definitive* read by any means, it's a great start.
This book felt timely for me. There isn’t (as they write) a lot of research on friendships, or a lot of guides for how to stay in them for the long haul. I appreciated their pulling the research together, creating concepts themselves while using the story of their friendship as a metaphor and a thread.
My only criticism is that it’s full of inside jokes and pop culture references from the 2010’s. If I wasn’t around their same age, I may not have understood them!
My only criticism is that it’s full of inside jokes and pop culture references from the 2010’s. If I wasn’t around their same age, I may not have understood them!
emotional
lighthearted
medium-paced
I loved getting this insight into a "big friendship" and analyzing how we approach friendships in our lives. I appreciate the authors' vulnerability in sharing their experiences through friendship challenges.
Poignant in times of Covid. Felt like a friend coming alongside me and agreeing with me how bad that abandonment felt when a friend “broke up” with me years ago. Also a friend saying, “hey if the relationship is worth it to you, do the work.”
I read this book AGAIN and it still fkn slaps oh my GOD. I read the last chapter under the influence and it made me emotional and pensive. But what other way is there to BE baby??