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3.85 AVERAGE
3.85 AVERAGE
3.5 stars... some very excellent points are made, and it makes you think. A lot. What keeps me from the four is that I wasn't completely drawn to the characters. Which, is funny, as they are real people. But, what can you do?
This book was especially meaningful at this chapter in my life - having made my first big move (cross country) and living in the midst of a pandemic, it is more important than ever to think about and value those big friendships. This book made me so grateful for the various big friendships I have, and look forward to cherishing those friendships for many years to come.
This book was so good. I have never read book that made me cry so much (except 'Bridge to Terabithia' in the 5th grade). This book forced me to address my relationships and the impact that long distance and the pandemic has had on them.This is a book that everyone should read, especially now that we are in a time social distancing. I can not begin to describe how greatful I am that I read this book.
This book didn't work for me. I wasn't sure where it was going or what message it was trying to tell. To me, it seemed like the product of what the expensive therapist the pair went to asked them to write down and they decided to get it published. To be fair, I have never listened to their podcast, and perhaps this book is really meant for those who do.
But this seems like a short memoir of a friendship between two women, with background information and stories that seem valuable to their story, but don't fit into a bigger picture or a narrative that makes a lot of sense in bits and pieces. Does this book want to talk about race? Kind of... but there's one chapter where it's drilled into your head and then forgotten. Does it want to talk about terminal illness? Sure, again, a bit. How do these things affect friendship? Unclear because it depends on the friendship.
I feel like many people get into "big friendships" when then are in college or in the years following and then life gets in the way and those friendships taper off. Some stick. Some friends are with you from elementary school and beyond (but those aren't discussed in this book). Many people just drop out of touch. Maybe one friend moves and it's just too hard to maintain that friendship over the distance. Maybe one friend gets married and the other cannot relate to a settled down life. Ann and Aminatou don't really mention boys or signifcant others as major players, but I think this is why they are able to devote themselves to their friendship. It's very hard - but not impossible - to maintain a relationship with a spouse/family and that kind of friendship. Don't get me wrong, you certainly can have great friends while married, but the all-consuming friendship that they talk about is hard to do with a job/career, spouse and family.
Also I'm not sure this book told me or taught me anything. I read about a friendship between two people I don't know. They had differences, they grew apart, they both still wanted to be friends so they paid to go to therapy and now they are working on their friendship.
Maybe I missed something, maybe I should have listened to their podcast, but this didn't do it for me.
But this seems like a short memoir of a friendship between two women, with background information and stories that seem valuable to their story, but don't fit into a bigger picture or a narrative that makes a lot of sense in bits and pieces. Does this book want to talk about race? Kind of... but there's one chapter where it's drilled into your head and then forgotten. Does it want to talk about terminal illness? Sure, again, a bit. How do these things affect friendship? Unclear because it depends on the friendship.
I feel like many people get into "big friendships" when then are in college or in the years following and then life gets in the way and those friendships taper off. Some stick. Some friends are with you from elementary school and beyond (but those aren't discussed in this book). Many people just drop out of touch. Maybe one friend moves and it's just too hard to maintain that friendship over the distance. Maybe one friend gets married and the other cannot relate to a settled down life. Ann and Aminatou don't really mention boys or signifcant others as major players, but I think this is why they are able to devote themselves to their friendship. It's very hard - but not impossible - to maintain a relationship with a spouse/family and that kind of friendship. Don't get me wrong, you certainly can have great friends while married, but the all-consuming friendship that they talk about is hard to do with a job/career, spouse and family.
Also I'm not sure this book told me or taught me anything. I read about a friendship between two people I don't know. They had differences, they grew apart, they both still wanted to be friends so they paid to go to therapy and now they are working on their friendship.
Maybe I missed something, maybe I should have listened to their podcast, but this didn't do it for me.
3.5
I liked a lot of parts of this story and I found the 'we' narrative to be a really interesting form. I was hankering for a little more detail about their friendship--their story was more interesting than the generalized topics of every chapter, and by the end I sort of felt like we'd glossed over a lot of the hard stuff in their friendship, which seemed counterintuitive to the point of the book.
I liked a lot of parts of this story and I found the 'we' narrative to be a really interesting form. I was hankering for a little more detail about their friendship--their story was more interesting than the generalized topics of every chapter, and by the end I sort of felt like we'd glossed over a lot of the hard stuff in their friendship, which seemed counterintuitive to the point of the book.
I am kind of LOL at the reviews from people who selected this book for their BOTM choice and didn't know anything about the podcast. It is definitely a book for fans of the podcast, and the audio in particular. I've been listening to their podcast since the beginning, so I liked hearing some of the hinted-at stories more fleshed out, but overall there wasn't enough of the "other" stuff to round it out as an independent book.
The first half was nice but as soon as they started talking about their podcast and Shine Theory, it began to feel like an ad. I'm also unclear on how Shine Theory is different than the old boys club, except that you should focus on your minority friends--it's still using personal connections to get a job rather than solely on merit (this is a structural issue in the US not a problem with the authors themselves; it just felt like they were buying into the system, rather than challenging it). I'm also sick of reading about ultra-successful and rich people. They acted like a 100,000 salary a year wasn't a big deal and it definitely rubbed me the wrong way.
This book was much more memoir than social science but it was an enjoyable read. I laughed audibly at the subtle Malcolm Gladwell dig and always appreciate when authors incorporate Harriet Lerner’s work
I have a love-hate relationship with books whose ending makes me forget the semi-boring parts because they’re just THAT good.
Anyways I’m only ever falling in love with my friends in this life so please hold me to that.
Anyways I’m only ever falling in love with my friends in this life so please hold me to that.
Book of the Month: July 2020
PopSugar 2021 reading challenge #24
Seriously disappointed in this BOTM. I was expecting a "self-help" type book that was going to give generalized pointers, but ended up with a book about two friends and their very specific friendship. Don't get me wrong: I'm happy they're friends and have a strong friendship that they've worked on and have made last. However, I'm not sure I needed to read about it?
PopSugar 2021 reading challenge #24
Seriously disappointed in this BOTM. I was expecting a "self-help" type book that was going to give generalized pointers, but ended up with a book about two friends and their very specific friendship. Don't get me wrong: I'm happy they're friends and have a strong friendship that they've worked on and have made last. However, I'm not sure I needed to read about it?