Reviews tagging 'Racism'

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

142 reviews

crybabybea's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

Amazing. I'm learning this year that I really enjoy nonfiction written by journalists, and Stephanie Foo is no exception. Her writing is accessible and engaging, seamlessly blending personal anecdotes, interviews, facts, and studies to support her main thesis. Foo's intelligence and self-reflection shine through her writing. Her clever humor and insightful conclusions were inspiring. The book feels like a journey alongside her, offering lessons in healing from trauma. 

This is a must-read if you struggle with C-PTSD, or even if you just struggle with trauma or a different mental illness that affects your daily life. Even if you're familiar with C-PTSD, there's much to learn. The book's sad, hard-to-get-through moments are balanced with heartening and meditative insights, showing that healing is non-linear but ultimately intensely rewarding. 

Foo's perspective as an Asian-American adds depth to her memoir, offering compassion for her family's experiences and the broader Asian-American community. She explores her family's past, connecting her trauma with collective experiences, and acknowledges the complexities beyond stereotypes. 

I especially liked the penultimate part, which focused on her sessions with Dr. Jacob Ham. She unlocked a lot of self-discovery by having an open, loving, accepting relationship with her therapist. It was so heartfelt and inspiring to see that relationship blossom and ultimately help Stephanie recover and learn to accept love and kindness rather than self-flagellating and sinking into shame spirals. He emphasized the importance of reconnection and repair and revealed to Stephanie (and to me as a reader) that regulating your emotions and triggers is just the first step in a super complicated dance involving complex relationships and the damage and repair that happens in human connection.

The final couple of pages had me a complete sobbing mess. I really appreciated Stephanie's choice to end the book with a self-reflection about accepting her C-PTSD for what it is; not something that makes her broken and unlovable, but something that makes her who she is.

I highly recommend the audiobook, narrated by the author so it feels intimate and personal. She also included the original audio recordings of her sessions with Dr. Ham, which was a really neat addition that made the audio experience feel more transformative.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, and Gaslighting

Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Racism, Rape, Xenophobia, Murder, War, and Pandemic/Epidemic

There is no actual car accident but there is an incident of abuse in which the author experiences her father driving maniacally and threatening to kill everyone in the car.

emmasmidnightlibrary's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

As someone who has cptsd herself, this was an extremely validating and comforting read, despite the discomfort of the story itself. Of course, it took a decent amount of emotional work to get through, but I found it very worthwhile. Foo captures so many relatable moments- the process of learning about your diagnosis, the frustration at how little information is out there, the quest to understand yourself in this new helpful and terrifying frame. It was paced so well that I didn't have to live too long in any memory, and just beautifully written. I volleyed between reading the physical book and listening to the audiobook, and thought the audiobook was especially great in the later 30s chapters. Her therapy sessions were included in some of those tracks and you can hear them breaking down some very relatable things. I'd recommend this book to anyone with cptsd in a heartbeat.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Racism, Xenophobia, and War

Minor: Pandemic/Epidemic

maybezed's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative sad fast-paced

5.0

Incredible book. It made me cry and laugh. It surprised me. It helped me. 

I’ve read a lot of books about trauma and healing, but this is among the best. Hearing the snippets of conversations with her therapist were revelatory. 

It was hopeful and honest. I am so thankful to the author. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Kidnapping, Colonisation, War, Injury/Injury detail, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic

briannad4's review against another edition

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Medical content, Dysphoria, and Pandemic/Epidemic

kaiahsc's review against another edition

dark emotional funny informative medium-paced

5.0

Recommended to me by a first gen Asian American woman in my life who reminds me a lot of the author in her energy and passion and talent for stringing together a masterfully constructed piece of writing. Everything about this felt carefully considered and well executed. Foo is so funny and so brutally honest and so good at what she does. She balances her own personal narrative with sharing her careful and detailed research and leaves the reader with a feeling of hope. I listened to this at work and cried through the entier wedding at the end. Good thing I was alone that day. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Mental illness, Racism, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Alcohol

bex_readz's review

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring sad fast-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Violence, Grief, and Abandonment

whatsmacksaid's review

dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad fast-paced

5.0

Holy shit, this was incredible.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Grief, and Abandonment

Moderate: Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, and Pandemic/Epidemic

Minor: Eating disorder and Self harm

koreanlinda's review

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.5

This book was a hard read for me as a survivor of child abuse. I was beaten repeatedly by my mother and teachers when I grew up in South Korea. Although Stephanie Foo is a Malaysian Chinese-American, I was able to see lots of overlapping ideas around domestic violence between her family culture and mine. 

Part 1 (out of five parts) was the hardest to read because it describes all kinds of violence that Stephanie experienced when she was young. However, it gets easier from there, and Part 5, as Stephanie promised at the beginning of the book, has a happy ending. 

Although I felt immense sorrow, I did not cry throughout the book until the pages of Stephanie's life started getting filled with love. The power of happy tears was stronger than other kinds. As I closed the book, I felt hopeful about my own life. I thought, if she can live, I can live, too. Like Stephanie said in Chapter 41, "Maybe this life I've got is going to be spectacular, after all."

I went into the book with lots of fear; however, I am very glad I read it. I felt seen in Stephanie's story, and I learned a lot about C-PTSD. Although the abuse I experienced was not as severe as Stephanie's, I had symptoms that she experienced from C-PTSD. Stressful situations and mistakes pushed me into self-chastism and depression. While I was constantly scared of being punished, I continued to punish myself internally. 

I recommend this book to everyone who has experienced traumatic events or any abuse including a lack of love from a childhood caregiver. You will learn a lot. Not only you will gain knowledge, but you will also get empowered through Stephanie's narrative: Our PTSD is a precious part of ourselves, and it can manifest as our superpower. 

Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in June 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, and Abandonment

Moderate: Racism and Xenophobia

codemasterpi's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, and Violence

Moderate: Drug abuse, Drug use, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Self harm, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Murder, Colonisation, War, and Pandemic/Epidemic

meganbrinson's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

So so so important. Really helped me understand my intellectualizing tendencies. Foo also does a great job situating trauma in a larger context. “Love begets love” really did it for me <3

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, and Colonisation