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Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Xenophobia, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Grief, Medical trauma, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Acephobia/Arophobia, Murder, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Cultural appropriation, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Colonisation, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail, Classism, Deportation
The novel follows Cleo, a young British artist, and Frank, an older American ad man, who impulsively marry after a whirlwind romance in New York. What follows is an intimate, messy, and often bleak exploration of their relationship—and the web of people around them—as they each try to find themselves (or lose themselves) in love, ambition, addiction, and identity.
Now, my feelings about this book are... complicated. I didn’t love it, I didn’t hate it. It’s very character-driven, which I usually enjoy, and Mellors really knows how to write interiority. There were moments—especially during Cleo’s depressive episodes—that hit way too close to home. But what kept me from fully loving it was the lack of character growth. These people felt real, but also kind of stuck in their own cycles, like they never really learned or changed.
If you're looking for something plot-heavy, this might not be for you. But if you’re into messy, melancholic stories with poetic writing and emotionally distant characters spiraling through life, this might just scratch that itch. It didn’t become a favorite for me, but I can totally see why it resonates with a lot of readers.
Graphic: Alcoholism, Animal death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Self harm, Blood, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Dementia, Death of parent
Minor: Fire/Fire injury
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal death, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Blood, Medical content, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Alcoholism, Animal death, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Injury/Injury detail
overall, very odd and off-putting. would not recommend unless you enjoy reading about pretentious nyc artists and advertisers, pain, and addiction.
honorable mention to two quotes:
p. 329:
“people are like this too, you know,” he says eventually. “we break.
we put ourselves back together. the cracks are the best part. you don't have to hide them.”
and on p. 334
“movie, melatonin, and (redacted),” she says, tapping out the words on my hand with her finger. “best night's sleep you'll ever have.”
Graphic: Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal death, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Drug use, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Alcohol
Moderate: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Chronic illness, Death, Drug abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Terminal illness, Grief, Death of parent, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Self harm, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Drug abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal death, Body horror, Cursing, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Outing, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail