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encyclopediabritanika's review against another edition
4.0
4.5 stars
Wonderful, raw, emotional. Vivid in its grief. Just heart wrenching and movingly rendered
Wonderful, raw, emotional. Vivid in its grief. Just heart wrenching and movingly rendered
katiecatbooks's review against another edition
5.0
Memoir. Grief. Processing.
Danish author Naja Marie Aidt shares her experiences working through the grief of her 25 year old son.
The book jumps around from the day her son died, processing her grief after and childhood and memories of her son from before his death. There are also quotes from authors from the near to distant past, and alternative writing styles in the author's own writing.
To tell of the people involved in the story would be spoilers, as the reader gets to know them more and more through the author's experiences.
If you have ever experienced grief personally, this is not an easy book. It is a very authentic book and true to the author's honest feelings and thoughts. Some people may not care for the repetition of experiences and thoughts and feelings, especially as they circle amongst later grief and early living experiences. But that is how grief works. While there is much sadness and grief in the book, there are words and people that are helpful to the grieving process that readers can take away from the book. Very worth reading, but possibly only to those who have gone through grief themselves.
Danish author Naja Marie Aidt shares her experiences working through the grief of her 25 year old son.
The book jumps around from the day her son died, processing her grief after and childhood and memories of her son from before his death. There are also quotes from authors from the near to distant past, and alternative writing styles in the author's own writing.
To tell of the people involved in the story would be spoilers, as the reader gets to know them more and more through the author's experiences.
If you have ever experienced grief personally, this is not an easy book. It is a very authentic book and true to the author's honest feelings and thoughts. Some people may not care for the repetition of experiences and thoughts and feelings, especially as they circle amongst later grief and early living experiences. But that is how grief works. While there is much sadness and grief in the book, there are words and people that are helpful to the grieving process that readers can take away from the book. Very worth reading, but possibly only to those who have gone through grief themselves.
cellnay's review against another edition
4.0
4.5 stars. Such an emotional and especially RAW read. The inclusion and mix of different authors and poetry really put it all well together and I was enjoying reading this book with a broken heart 3
The last part hit me so hard, really. The realization and acceptance of death that comes after grief was so well put.
The last part hit me so hard, really. The realization and acceptance of death that comes after grief was so well put.
jaclyn_sixminutesforme's review against another edition
4.0
"Most of what I read about raw grief and lamentation is fragmentary. It's chaotic, not artistic. Often the writer doesn't have the strength to use capital letters after periods. Often the writer doesn't have the strength to complete the fragment. It can't be completed. The writing stays open and pours this inability out through everything that can't be expressed. A hole in which death vibrates. It's not possible to write artistically about raw grief. No form fits."
I knew going into this book that it would be difficult content to navigate - grief is not a topic I can rush my way through, and I feel like the experience varies so much person to person. While I find it a fascinating topic, reading through someone else processing their experience does not always make for a positive read for me.
For me this worked as an exploration of the author's grief and processing of her son's death (the circumstances of which proved to be an unexpected focus that I wish we'd heard more on). The book is composed of a series of diary entries and personal reflections, as well as more meta reflections on grief and death in art and culture broadly.
Many thanks to CoffeeHouse Press for an ARC via edelweiss.
I knew going into this book that it would be difficult content to navigate - grief is not a topic I can rush my way through, and I feel like the experience varies so much person to person. While I find it a fascinating topic, reading through someone else processing their experience does not always make for a positive read for me.
For me this worked as an exploration of the author's grief and processing of her son's death (the circumstances of which proved to be an unexpected focus that I wish we'd heard more on). The book is composed of a series of diary entries and personal reflections, as well as more meta reflections on grief and death in art and culture broadly.
Many thanks to CoffeeHouse Press for an ARC via edelweiss.
readwithmattie's review against another edition
5.0
this book has torn my heart out of my chest and absolutely shattered it
who’s paying for my therapy?? :,)
who’s paying for my therapy?? :,)
phyrre's review against another edition
3.0
You can read my full review on my blog, The Writerly Way, here.
Many thanks to Edelweiss and Coffee House Press for an eARC in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion.
I try to make an effort to read more poetry, and this year’s theme for me seems to be grief, as I struggle with my own. What particularly spoke to me about Mrs. Aidt’s work is that this book was written as a way for her to come to terms with her own grief and as she learned to cope, and that in itself was appealing. Because grief is hard, yo. Everyone goes through it differently.
When Death Takes Something From You Give It Back is a heart-wrenching, but beautiful, exploration of the life and death of one young man and a mother’s journey to make sense of her loss.
There is so much emotion packed into this book. True, it’s an exploration of grief, but at the same time, it’s so much more than that. There’s laughter and love and celebration of a vibrant life and healing, bit by bit.
My Thoughts:
- Aidt writes with such ardent emotion and fervor that it was easy to take this emotional journey with her. And what a journey it was. Phew. Yes, there’s a lot of pain in this book, but there’s plenty of other emotions, too. There were ups and downs and twists. Aidt for sure doesn’t pull any punches with her writing. The book is raw and real and hits all the feels hard. If grief, death, or loss might be a potential trigger for you, I wholeheartedly encourage you to skip this one. There were definitely times I ugly cried, but I’m in a good headspace, and if you’re not, this one can easily drag you down.
- I enjoyed the way Aidt played with structure and form and repetition to create a more engaging narrative. The book is mostly prose poetry, and Aidt does different things with formatting and punctuation to convey a more stream-of-conscious narrative at times. One of my favorite things was the repetition around Carl’s actual death, and the way it unfolds little by little, devolving into a rushed, hurried, and heartrending experience.
- The majority of the book is written in prose poetry form, which is my personal favorite, but there is some free verse sprinkled in here and there. If you’re going in expecting this to be a “typical” poetry book, it is not. The narrative here takes precedence over the idea of a bunch of single poems. The book is one massive poem, essentially, wrapping the smaller poems into the overall narrative.
- The book is written very stream of conscious, so it doesn’t follow a linear narrative, but jumps back and forth in the timeline of Carl’s life and death. Whether or not this is effective really depends on your preferences. I thought it was extremely effective in some instances (like in revealing exactly how Carl died and coming to terms with the night it happened). There were times, though, that it became hard to follow and the jumping back and forth and small chunks were a bit jarring. It was a little hit or miss for me.
- Despite being an exploration of grief and coping with loss, the reader also finds Carl in these pages and gets an intimate look at who he was in life. There are small vignettes about Carl growing up, the things he liked and thought and did, interspersed between his death and the mourning. It reads like a love letter from a mother to the son she lost, and there was a lot of beauty in that, I thought.
Sticking Points:
- This is an incredibly personal journey the author undertakes (as it says in the title, this is Carl’s book), which means that sometimes the poetry can be very specific. For me, a work being so specific and so personal makes it harder to get into, because the author is talking, essentially, to her son. It makes me feel weird, like instead of being invited into the process, I’m spying on a profoundly personal and emotional moment between two people which I’m not really privy to. This created a weird sort of distance for me between myself and the work and made it really hard to get into.
- Aidt draws inspiration from other authors she’s read who have written on grief, and her text is dotted with quotes from other selections of work, which is fine … but that’s not really why I picked up this book. Here and there would have been one thing, but it felt like there were so many references to other works that it made up a pretty hefty portion of the book. On the one hand, these were obviously sources that Aidt drew upon in her time of need as she struggled with her grief and are, therefore, a part of her narrative. But on the other, I wasn’t so much interested in all these asides and quotes from others, and it felt jarring and pulled me out of her story.
Many thanks to Edelweiss and Coffee House Press for an eARC in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion.
I try to make an effort to read more poetry, and this year’s theme for me seems to be grief, as I struggle with my own. What particularly spoke to me about Mrs. Aidt’s work is that this book was written as a way for her to come to terms with her own grief and as she learned to cope, and that in itself was appealing. Because grief is hard, yo. Everyone goes through it differently.
When Death Takes Something From You Give It Back is a heart-wrenching, but beautiful, exploration of the life and death of one young man and a mother’s journey to make sense of her loss.
There is so much emotion packed into this book. True, it’s an exploration of grief, but at the same time, it’s so much more than that. There’s laughter and love and celebration of a vibrant life and healing, bit by bit.
My Thoughts:
- Aidt writes with such ardent emotion and fervor that it was easy to take this emotional journey with her. And what a journey it was. Phew. Yes, there’s a lot of pain in this book, but there’s plenty of other emotions, too. There were ups and downs and twists. Aidt for sure doesn’t pull any punches with her writing. The book is raw and real and hits all the feels hard. If grief, death, or loss might be a potential trigger for you, I wholeheartedly encourage you to skip this one. There were definitely times I ugly cried, but I’m in a good headspace, and if you’re not, this one can easily drag you down.
- I enjoyed the way Aidt played with structure and form and repetition to create a more engaging narrative. The book is mostly prose poetry, and Aidt does different things with formatting and punctuation to convey a more stream-of-conscious narrative at times. One of my favorite things was the repetition around Carl’s actual death, and the way it unfolds little by little, devolving into a rushed, hurried, and heartrending experience.
- The majority of the book is written in prose poetry form, which is my personal favorite, but there is some free verse sprinkled in here and there. If you’re going in expecting this to be a “typical” poetry book, it is not. The narrative here takes precedence over the idea of a bunch of single poems. The book is one massive poem, essentially, wrapping the smaller poems into the overall narrative.
- The book is written very stream of conscious, so it doesn’t follow a linear narrative, but jumps back and forth in the timeline of Carl’s life and death. Whether or not this is effective really depends on your preferences. I thought it was extremely effective in some instances (like in revealing exactly how Carl died and coming to terms with the night it happened). There were times, though, that it became hard to follow and the jumping back and forth and small chunks were a bit jarring. It was a little hit or miss for me.
- Despite being an exploration of grief and coping with loss, the reader also finds Carl in these pages and gets an intimate look at who he was in life. There are small vignettes about Carl growing up, the things he liked and thought and did, interspersed between his death and the mourning. It reads like a love letter from a mother to the son she lost, and there was a lot of beauty in that, I thought.
Sticking Points:
- This is an incredibly personal journey the author undertakes (as it says in the title, this is Carl’s book), which means that sometimes the poetry can be very specific. For me, a work being so specific and so personal makes it harder to get into, because the author is talking, essentially, to her son. It makes me feel weird, like instead of being invited into the process, I’m spying on a profoundly personal and emotional moment between two people which I’m not really privy to. This created a weird sort of distance for me between myself and the work and made it really hard to get into.
- Aidt draws inspiration from other authors she’s read who have written on grief, and her text is dotted with quotes from other selections of work, which is fine … but that’s not really why I picked up this book. Here and there would have been one thing, but it felt like there were so many references to other works that it made up a pretty hefty portion of the book. On the one hand, these were obviously sources that Aidt drew upon in her time of need as she struggled with her grief and are, therefore, a part of her narrative. But on the other, I wasn’t so much interested in all these asides and quotes from others, and it felt jarring and pulled me out of her story.
nina_av's review against another edition
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Drug use, and Gore
knkoch's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.25
A heartrending meditation on the sudden, profound loss and grief a mother experiences with the loss of her son. Aidt chronicles her destabilizing and all-encompassing grief through flashbacks, poems, and fragments, finding kinship in the work of other writers who weathered a similar loss. She paints a very detailed portrait of the way time stops for the living, the way a lost person lives within you but in devastating silence, the inevitable and enormous change a grieving person undergoes in their priorities and personality, and the sheer inadequacy of language to encompass her experience. I’ve not experienced this particular type of loss, but Aidt’s very personal examinations were still quite illuminating.