Reviews with content warning for Eating disorder - Acts of Desperation

I found in this book a shared culture of female identity. There were phrases or passages that struck me in a way because I felt that all women in particular could relate. I was reading a story about someone and their lives; someone who I personally had no connection with (I don't live in the same city, share the same habit, or have the same connections). Yet the feelings expressed, the experiences with men at times, and the inner most thoughts, all seemed to resonate with me. I've found myself in situations similar, or I've had feelings similar. I know I didn't love this book, but I know it was something I didn't regret reading. Following this woman on her journey of life, love, self, etc. felt like camaraderie of sorts.

Quotes I loved:

"I was not without value, but the value I held was not the kind I wanted to hold, and I did not know how to exchange it."

"In fact, I wanted to want them, would have loved to live a life like that. Or rather I would have loved to appear to live a life like that. All the things that Lisa did for her own genuine pleasure were things I thought looked good, things I didn’t want for their own sake. I thought a life that looked that way– clean and gentle and high- minded– would get me what I truly wanted, which was to do with having as much of people as possible, their attention, their desire, their curiosity."

Content Warnings

seizuredreading's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

I wanted to say she’s a dummy bitch & leave it be, but…

FL is complicated. Yes, it’s probable to say that her thoughts and reasoning are hard to follow, but I guess that’s the human condition at such an age, in said situations. Mind her life could’ve gotten far worse than her choices had led her.
While this is a determining factor of DNF qualifications, I implore the few to power through. Interestingly reflective as FL comes to her own in the world.

Content Warnings

horrorandmagic's review

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dark emotional slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

Content Warnings

tmosley5's review

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dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

Content Warnings

xelasrecords's review

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challenging dark reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

You hate me, I thought sometimes, when you see me drink or cry or cut myself, but you don’t hate me in the right way. Your disgust is domesticated. I fear that your distaste is that of your average husband – not the glittering and sexual kind you used to show me when you looked down at me, before I won you.

The unnamed early twentysomething narrator goes through a turbulent relationship with a closed-off man who treats her like she's nothing and she believes him. She's naive, moony and defines her life through Ciaran; she segregates it as "before Ciaran" where everything is grey and lacking, and "after" where love explodes her life into a beautiful supernova.

If you've ever been in a relationship where you feel like you have to constantly beg for even the most meagre attention from your partner and never know where you stand on their priority list, but you can't tell anyone because you don't know how to explain it without being criticised because you still love your partner above all... watch out. This book will give you a war flashback. But read it anyway. You might feel understood by how detailed Megan Nolan writes the emotions and insecurities that aren't always easy to admit.

This book feels intimate, like I'm reading someone's diary. The feelings and the observations of them are so precise that I can resonate with them deeply. While I never went through her specific experiences, I've felt the torture of being desperate to be seen as a newly adult woman. I had to pause every few chapters to avoid overwhelming my psyche.

I definitely didn't expect it to end with a character development. I thought she'd implode or return to the status quo. It felt rewarding and relieving to see her finally care enough about herself not to debase herself for love anymore.

Content Warnings