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4.17 AVERAGE
4.17 AVERAGE
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Thanks to AA Knopf for the free copy of this book.
- In THE DRY SEASON, Febos combines her personal journey with the stories of women throughout history, both celibate and relationship-driven. It gave me new context for the history of women taking control of their own bodies and lives.
- I am unequipped to talk about the beauty of Febos’ writing. She has such a gift for words, and I found myself counting down time until I could pick up the again.
- I know this is a book about being voluntarily celibate, but it felt strange to me to never discuss asexuality and aromanticism. Febos talks at length about how she has more brain space available for creativity, about how she suddenly notices how every movie is about romantic relationships, and she even reads Octavia Butler’s journals about not wanting to be bothered with relationships, and...nothing. Only a throwaway line about her many “asexual friendships” with women.
- In THE DRY SEASON, Febos combines her personal journey with the stories of women throughout history, both celibate and relationship-driven. It gave me new context for the history of women taking control of their own bodies and lives.
- I am unequipped to talk about the beauty of Febos’ writing. She has such a gift for words, and I found myself counting down time until I could pick up the again.
- I know this is a book about being voluntarily celibate, but it felt strange to me to never discuss asexuality and aromanticism. Febos talks at length about how she has more brain space available for creativity, about how she suddenly notices how every movie is about romantic relationships, and she even reads Octavia Butler’s journals about not wanting to be bothered with relationships, and...nothing. Only a throwaway line about her many “asexual friendships” with women.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Cursing, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Sexual content, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
Every Melissa Febos book I read changes my perspective on life in some subtle way. This is so much more than a memoir about a chosen period of celibacy; it's a mediation on love, spirituality and codependency, threaded by the stories of truly brilliant feminist histories. The Dry Season is smart and so well researched, but it's underpinned by a conversational, anecdotal tone which makes it compulsively readable. I couldn't wait to pick up Febos' nuggets of wisdom - I dog-eared the hell out of my proof copy! Febos makes me want to become a better writer, but more importantly, to be more intentional in my relationships with others, and with myself. The Dry Season is a gift of a book, and one I know I'll return to often over the years.
challenging
reflective
After the end of a difficult relationship and a period of continuously picking the wrong people to date, serial monogamist Melissa Febos decides to take a break from dating and sex. In so doing, she discovers more than she thought was possible about love, herself, and the way that our drive to be desired affects what we think we want. What does it mean to be partnered, and why do we pursue it? When we project our feelings and desires onto another person, how does that hurt them, and how does it affect our own capacity to love and love ourselves? What does it mean to live a fulfilling life?
Even though Febos’ journey is driven by a history and choices that are very particular to her, and which I don’t necessarily relate to, I couldn’t help but feel like this book was written specifically for me. Reading this book felt like a mixture of meditation, therapy, and a long heart-to-heart with a good friend; it pushed me to examine myself and my own relationship to love and solitude. Ever since I started The Dry Season, I’ve been talking about it and recommending it to everyone who will listen to me, and I don’t yet know whether that’s because I think everyone should read it or because I am simply that obsessed; it very well might be both. I don’t know when I’ve read a memoir as insightful as this one, and I am so grateful to Febos for writing it and sharing it. Her exploration of art, pleasure, and freedom is a manifesto for anyone interested in living the life they want, whether single or in a relationship.
Even though Febos’ journey is driven by a history and choices that are very particular to her, and which I don’t necessarily relate to, I couldn’t help but feel like this book was written specifically for me. Reading this book felt like a mixture of meditation, therapy, and a long heart-to-heart with a good friend; it pushed me to examine myself and my own relationship to love and solitude. Ever since I started The Dry Season, I’ve been talking about it and recommending it to everyone who will listen to me, and I don’t yet know whether that’s because I think everyone should read it or because I am simply that obsessed; it very well might be both. I don’t know when I’ve read a memoir as insightful as this one, and I am so grateful to Febos for writing it and sharing it. Her exploration of art, pleasure, and freedom is a manifesto for anyone interested in living the life they want, whether single or in a relationship.
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Following a bad breakup at the age of 32, the author realized that she had been involved in some form of romantic relationship since the age of 15. This, combined with multiple additional issues caused her to recognize that “a feeling of pressure had accumulated for years and accelerated in the previous six months … until the discomfort of staying the same grows greater than my discomfort of changing” – old patterns, old habits that no longer served her well, but led her to question whether her pursuit of love was indeed a form of addiction. An academic, sober since the age of 23, she undertook the ultimate experiment which would become this book. “A good detox is the only way to really know if you’re addicted”, thus began her initial commitment to 90 days of abstinence. She describes her experiences through the filters of ancient mystical women, early feminists, therapy, and the 12-step process. The author’s style is captivating, almost poetic, with a tinge of professorial cadence throughout. At times Part I felt like teasing apart gluten-rich cooked spaghetti and I was not surprised when she questioned whether she might have some form of attention deficit. She brings increased clarity in Parts II and III, where she really begins to take personal responsibility for her past actions. Her examination of historical mentors is both experiential and well documented in her attached Notes and Works Cited and Consulted at the end of the narrative. Febos bares her soul to all who read her memoir – there is no sugar coating, and the echos of this memoir will remain with me for a long, long time.
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Currently planning my re-read. An exquisite blend of personal narrative and looking outward and backward at historical (often literary) figures and the wider culture. The form is “taking inventory” of past romances during Melissa’s year of celibacy to discover more about herself. Authentic and true without feeling gossipy- generous without feeling twee. A real attractive template of what it might look like to delve into creativity and self-care in the most real and least “wellness culture” way. Would recommend to oh-so-many-and-most of the women and femmes in my life … whose time and attention seems to always be grasped and gripped by others and everything except themselves.
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
Superb. I underlined the hell out of this book.
slow-paced
Febos brings her sharp observations and stunning vulnerability to this deeply researched memoir about celibacy.
It was more literature review than personal narrative for my tastes, but still a fascinating exploration of sex, sexuality and celibacy.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
It was more literature review than personal narrative for my tastes, but still a fascinating exploration of sex, sexuality and celibacy.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
reflective
medium-paced