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159 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
159 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
I went to a few Love & Logic trainings when I worked in the schools and was recently reminded of this book by a friend. The tactics are great. Sometimes the authors get a little preachy and dogmatic, but I will certainly use their ideas.
Well, I am a mom. I try hard to raise my children correctly but sometimes they just do not obey the way that I think they should. I was trying to figure out what changes to make in my parenting technique when a friend of mine recommended the Love & Logic book. So... I found it at my local library. ;) The first part of the book is the informational and consists of general concepts for parenting. This part makes a great foundation. The second part of the book is called referred to as the "Pearls". It has specific scenarios that is very common when parenting children. The second section of the book is actually my favorite part. I loved being able to read specific ways to handle common parenting questions.
Each chapter starts with a Proverb from the Bible. Christian terms are referenced sporadically throughout the book as well. Most of it are things like a child's "forbidden fruit" or something like that. They aren't teaching Christian views or biblical things but using them as metaphors. Some atheists have a hard time with this part and others don't care so I thought I'd include it here.
Have I used any of the things I've learned from the book yet? Oh yeah!! I used the same method to get my daughter to clean her room --- so much easier! We have talked more about making something right when a mistake has been made. My daughter ruined a toy of my son's and she has been doing chores to pay for it. Luckily, it was only $5 so it won't take much to pay for it but she seemed to really be sorry for it. In the past, I would have just made her apologize and then go to time out for a few minutes but this just seemed so much more effective. I loved the advice I learned from the book. Many of the things I was already doing, but it was nice getting more specific tips on how to handle specific situations. :)
For full review go here- http://books4linda.blogspot.com/2012/04/parenting-with-love-logic-by-foster.html
Each chapter starts with a Proverb from the Bible. Christian terms are referenced sporadically throughout the book as well. Most of it are things like a child's "forbidden fruit" or something like that. They aren't teaching Christian views or biblical things but using them as metaphors. Some atheists have a hard time with this part and others don't care so I thought I'd include it here.
Have I used any of the things I've learned from the book yet? Oh yeah!! I used the same method to get my daughter to clean her room --- so much easier! We have talked more about making something right when a mistake has been made. My daughter ruined a toy of my son's and she has been doing chores to pay for it. Luckily, it was only $5 so it won't take much to pay for it but she seemed to really be sorry for it. In the past, I would have just made her apologize and then go to time out for a few minutes but this just seemed so much more effective. I loved the advice I learned from the book. Many of the things I was already doing, but it was nice getting more specific tips on how to handle specific situations. :)
For full review go here- http://books4linda.blogspot.com/2012/04/parenting-with-love-logic-by-foster.html
This is a fantastic parenting book that I would recommend. It's practical and easy to read. They have a great method for raising children who think and who are responsible.
So I'm torn. I enjoyed a lot of the basic premises in this book, but I could not get past the "because this is what god wants you to do" and "these techniques are pretty much flawless even though we say they won't apply to every situation, we still think they will" attitudes going on. Some of what they said seemed effective and I could definitely see some of their techniques working in my situation, but where was the science? All I heard was purely anecdotal with convenient little stories turning out EXACTLY how they said they would.
It's a self-help book and a parenting one no less so my standards can't be super high, but I was kind of hoping they'd surprise me and be a little different. That being said, I did enjoy the information they shared about helping children be independent. Granted, I already had that mindset given that I was raised in an environment where that was promoted, so I had more than a bit of confirmation bias going on.
Will encouraging your children to make their own choices and deal with the consequences make them more independent? I don't know, but it sounds plausible to me and it aligns with my already established values, so I'll give it a try.
Should you read it? Sure, why not. If you feel you need help with your parenting skills, it might help and as long as you don't take it to extremes, I don't think it will hurt.
Note to the authors:
I get that your Christian and you really want to relate to others with Christian beliefs, but when it comes to this subject matter, a secular approach would be more widely received and seems much more appropriate. Even us non-Christians share similar "family morals" and don't like them to be advertised as Christian-only beliefs.
It's a self-help book and a parenting one no less so my standards can't be super high, but I was kind of hoping they'd surprise me and be a little different. That being said, I did enjoy the information they shared about helping children be independent. Granted, I already had that mindset given that I was raised in an environment where that was promoted, so I had more than a bit of confirmation bias going on.
Will encouraging your children to make their own choices and deal with the consequences make them more independent? I don't know, but it sounds plausible to me and it aligns with my already established values, so I'll give it a try.
Should you read it? Sure, why not. If you feel you need help with your parenting skills, it might help and as long as you don't take it to extremes, I don't think it will hurt.
Note to the authors:
I get that your Christian and you really want to relate to others with Christian beliefs, but when it comes to this subject matter, a secular approach would be more widely received and seems much more appropriate. Even us non-Christians share similar "family morals" and don't like them to be advertised as Christian-only beliefs.
There is so much I appreciate about Parenting a with Love & Logic. The expectation is that I can be a calm and happy parent who is glad to be with my children at all times. The expectation is that I love my children unconditionally and I treat them that way. But the truth is, I don't! I am often angry, disrespectful, and conditional with my love--to them, it looks like it depends on their behavior. L&L helps ME be the parent I should be first. I yell less, shame less, lecture less, etc. I look like I am enjoying parenting when I parent with Love and Logic. The technique works well most of the time with my almost 6 and 3 year olds, and I am grateful for the tools in my toolbox.
My complaint with the philosophy is that is doesn't take lifestyle into consideration, though probably for space sake. The assumption is our children will go off to (public) school at 5, leave for college at 18, get office jobs and live happily ever after, parenting with Love and Logic themselves. It didn't speak to a different lifestyle, where we might be homeschooling, doing more than just going to church on Sundays (one of the pearls is "when they don't want to go to church"), or making changes in our families that disrupt the family dynamic and (possibly) cause other problems, like an international move. For simple parenting "hacks", L&L is great. To reach your child's heart, to connect them to Jesus, to help prepare them for big things like cross cultural ministry, would require additional reading. It's for the secular family or middle of the road church goer, and it's so super helpful, but it's not the only parenting book a passionate family who wants their kids to follow Jesus with their lives should read. It doesn't help you speak to your child's heart.
My complaint with the philosophy is that is doesn't take lifestyle into consideration, though probably for space sake. The assumption is our children will go off to (public) school at 5, leave for college at 18, get office jobs and live happily ever after, parenting with Love and Logic themselves. It didn't speak to a different lifestyle, where we might be homeschooling, doing more than just going to church on Sundays (one of the pearls is "when they don't want to go to church"), or making changes in our families that disrupt the family dynamic and (possibly) cause other problems, like an international move. For simple parenting "hacks", L&L is great. To reach your child's heart, to connect them to Jesus, to help prepare them for big things like cross cultural ministry, would require additional reading. It's for the secular family or middle of the road church goer, and it's so super helpful, but it's not the only parenting book a passionate family who wants their kids to follow Jesus with their lives should read. It doesn't help you speak to your child's heart.
Great parenting ideas and method that I look forward to trying out.
The religiousness of this book was odd to me. Slipped in occasionally, for a paragraph or two, then gone again for 30 pages. While it was there, I found it easy to take it or leave it for the most part.
The religiousness of this book was odd to me. Slipped in occasionally, for a paragraph or two, then gone again for 30 pages. While it was there, I found it easy to take it or leave it for the most part.
A wonderful introduction to a parenting technique I am most interested in applying with my daughter.
I really liked this book for the one point I thought it had to offer: We can use logic to parent our children so that they realize the consequences that come from their actions. The idea is that no one else in the world will coddle our children, so we should not do it at home and set them up for a nasty shock when they interact with other people. This book can be used with good effect, I think, but it does not provide a catch-all parenting strategy. As friends of mine have pointed out, it doesn't address the need to train and educate children as to their behaviors and choices before letting logic be their teacher.
*I am editing my rating six years later to add one star. I've seen more of how it works with my children, and I finally read an updated edition. It is measurably better than the old one, which told what to do without as much explanation and alternate parental behavior choices.
*I am editing my rating six years later to add one star. I've seen more of how it works with my children, and I finally read an updated edition. It is measurably better than the old one, which told what to do without as much explanation and alternate parental behavior choices.
Great book. My desire to read this book as more about working on my parenting than getting my children to be better disciplined. I was uncomfortable with how often I was spanking - as I do believe in spanking - and wanted to have other tools to be able to use. And let me tell you, while I still believe in spanking when necessary - which this book does not condone - I have already started utilizing the Love and Logic concepts and can see a difference in myself and in my kids. We have by far fewer conflicts, and these days stuck in the house are much more enjoyable. My 4 year old responds very well with the Love and Logic concepts. My 2 year old, however, is not quite there where she understands the logic I'm trying to convey, but I still feel like my parenting has been changed by reading this. And I look forward to reading it again as my kids grow.