Take a photo of a barcode or cover
158 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
158 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
I'll admit I skim-read this book. Honestly, I think this was an introductory book to the whole philosophy of love-and-logic. I feel like you need a bit more examples and help in how to live this way with your kids. The main idea is that you just follow through with what you say and let kids have natural consequences. Easier said than done but I really appreciate this solid book.
I definitely learned some new strategies and have implemented them with moderate success. Mark commented that I have yelled less over the last few days so that's an improvement. The crux of their philosophy is that parents should provide children with choices and then let them suffer the natural consequences of their actions. According to the authors, if we don't do this, we are robbing them of opportunities to learn how the real world works. Solid foundation, but some of their examples were downright hoaky. For instance, the dad who 'models' good dental hygiene after a meal by proclaiming, "I sure can't go through the rest of the day with all that sugar on my teeth and in my mouth...I think I'd better go protect my teeth with a little brushing." I think I'll stick with the tried-and-true "Go brush your teeth."
slow-paced
While there are useful bits around empathy and boundaries, there are many negative assumptions around children. These may be particularly damaging for neurodiverse families.
This book has simple, logical ways to deal with everyday issues (kids fighting in the car, bullying, video game/tv time, chores, manners, etc). The key is to speak out of love, not anger or sarcasm.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
This isn't a BAD book. I would say it's probably 3.5 stars. I had the same issue with it that I have with almost all parenting books - they make it sound so easy! Like for example, the coat scenario. The author discusses a situation where a kid doesn't want to wear a coat so the adult says "Well, it's cold out and i'm going to stay warm in my coat. It's your choice not to wear one though." and then in this scenario in the book, the child's teeth chatter in the car and they say "I'm cold! Next time I'm going to wear a coat!" and that's just not how my kids would act. Mine would refuse to wear a coat for the rest of their lives and then be extra cranky because they're cold.
So it's all very good advice in theory but it's so so so so so hard to follow when you're tired, your kid is tired and you've worked all day and you are at the end of your rope - and the books never talk about that! There's one chapter in there about how you don't do these things if you're angry - you need to do them before you're angry.
Other tips seem to take for granted that I have unlimited income and an army of babysitters who are able to help me out. For example, the idea floated to get your kid not to come into your bed at night? Get a hotel room and hire a babysitter. Sure! Why not? I have that kind of money. And then how do you get your kid to not act up at the store? Call one of your available friends to pick up your kid and take them home. I . . . don't have anyone who could do that? Am I supposed to? Is this why I feel like a bad mom all the time?
Also, the book was a bit Jesus-y. Which is fine. I'm just not religious so it was a little too much for me. But any time I read Jesus-y things they're also pretty hung up on traditional gender roles within the house which is also eye-roll worthy.
On the good side: I did get some good tips on how to speak to my kids and it was a good reminder to not sweat the small stuff and not get so hung up on winning every battle.
So it's all very good advice in theory but it's so so so so so hard to follow when you're tired, your kid is tired and you've worked all day and you are at the end of your rope - and the books never talk about that! There's one chapter in there about how you don't do these things if you're angry - you need to do them before you're angry.
Other tips seem to take for granted that I have unlimited income and an army of babysitters who are able to help me out. For example, the idea floated to get your kid not to come into your bed at night? Get a hotel room and hire a babysitter. Sure! Why not? I have that kind of money. And then how do you get your kid to not act up at the store? Call one of your available friends to pick up your kid and take them home. I . . . don't have anyone who could do that? Am I supposed to? Is this why I feel like a bad mom all the time?
Also, the book was a bit Jesus-y. Which is fine. I'm just not religious so it was a little too much for me. But any time I read Jesus-y things they're also pretty hung up on traditional gender roles within the house which is also eye-roll worthy.
On the good side: I did get some good tips on how to speak to my kids and it was a good reminder to not sweat the small stuff and not get so hung up on winning every battle.
Always good to read another perspective on parenting. This book teaches you to keep your cool and put the kids issues on THEM, not you. It will take lots of practice, but there are a few things I hope to use.