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411 reviews for:
What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen
Kate Fagan
4.2 AVERAGE
411 reviews for:
What Made Maddy Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen
Kate Fagan
4.2 AVERAGE
Every coach and parent (especially those of a student athlete) and student athletes themselves need to read this book. It is enlightening and eye opening and gets at the central point of how students who are new to college, especially student athletes, can become extremely overwhelmed and feel they have no where to turn. This I believe is so common as not only did it happen to Madison, the girl for whom the book is based, but also to the author, and as I read it I realized it had also happened to me as a college freshman softball player. The sport becomes "a job - with time commitments, with demands, with expectations of performance. And nothing turns enjoyment into dread faster than obligation." Clearly not all of these situations end in suicide, as it unfortunately did for Madison, but most freshmen are ill equipped to deal with the pressures of school and athletics, all in a new and unfamiliar setting where you feel you have little support and no "real" friends, at least not friends who have known you your whole life and can help to provide comfort and support. At large colleges especially, many of these students go from being the very best at their high schools, to being just another face in the crowd in the college setting.
This book did a good job of showing what factors can come into play that can potentially trigger depressive episodes, but I did feel it fell short on how to identify and support those who are in crises. There can be a very fine line between encouraging someone when they are feeling overly anxious and doubtful of their abilities when it comes to athletics and the college setting vs. recognizing when serious intervention is needed. When a student athlete says they need to quit and they are just not enjoying it anymore, should you push and encourage them to keep trying, or allow them to quit. Is there a way to recognize the right choice? I did feel the highlights and discussions on how social media affects students nowadays was also extremely relevant and well done. It made me even consider how social media affects my life and that of my teenagers.
Overall, the writing is not the greatest. The author is a sports writer after all and not a novelist. However, the content is a definite 4 stars.
This book did a good job of showing what factors can come into play that can potentially trigger depressive episodes, but I did feel it fell short on how to identify and support those who are in crises. There can be a very fine line between encouraging someone when they are feeling overly anxious and doubtful of their abilities when it comes to athletics and the college setting vs. recognizing when serious intervention is needed. When a student athlete says they need to quit and they are just not enjoying it anymore, should you push and encourage them to keep trying, or allow them to quit. Is there a way to recognize the right choice? I did feel the highlights and discussions on how social media affects students nowadays was also extremely relevant and well done. It made me even consider how social media affects my life and that of my teenagers.
Overall, the writing is not the greatest. The author is a sports writer after all and not a novelist. However, the content is a definite 4 stars.
This book starts and ends with incredibly impactful writing, and the story is obviously a compelling one (if maybe a bit troubling if you're a parent of young adults), but the Fagan's insertion of herself in the story became more and more problematic for me as the book unfolded.
Still glad I read it.
Still glad I read it.
Damn. Fagan absolutely hit the nail on the head with this one. Mental health, social media, and the transition from high school to college athletics. This book goes deep into the pressure and expectations of high achievers struggling with the complexity of life after a transition. This book was hard to put down.
Quotes:
- "Maddy was addicted to progress, to the idea that her life would move in one vector-always forward, always improving-as opposed to the hills and valleys, the sideways and backward and upside down, that adults eventually learn to accept as more closely resembling reality. Maddy was not unique in feeling this way. Much of young adulthood is presented as a ladder, each rung closer to success, or whatever our society has defined as success. Perhaps climbing the ladder is tiring, but it is not confusing. You are never left wondering if you've made the wrong choice, or expended energy in the wrong direction, because there is only one rung above you. Get good grades. Get better at your sport. Take the SAT. Do volunteer work. Apply to colleges. Choose a college. But then you get to college, and suddenly you're out of rungs and that ladder has turned into a massive tree with hundreds of sprawling limbs, and progress is no longer a thing you can easily measure, because there are now thousands of paths to millions of destinations. And none are linear."
- "Maddy thought being a college student was synonymous with being an adult, which somehow was supposed to be synonymous with individual problem solving-a mistake we all make and most of us recover from."
- "Everything we do is seen as instrumental towards marketing ourselves for the college admission boards, or for the job market, or to help us rush a fraternity or sorority, or to help us win friends, or to help us be a more attractive potential partner. You see the capitalist worldview has infiltrated our psychology, and our sense of self-worth.....It results in micro-managing every aspect of our lives to best effect so that it looks good for Facebook or Linkedin or Tinder. It results in constant comparisons with our peers (which causes depression) and catastrophizing of any potential dent to our marketability (which results in anxiety)."
Quotes:
- "Maddy was addicted to progress, to the idea that her life would move in one vector-always forward, always improving-as opposed to the hills and valleys, the sideways and backward and upside down, that adults eventually learn to accept as more closely resembling reality. Maddy was not unique in feeling this way. Much of young adulthood is presented as a ladder, each rung closer to success, or whatever our society has defined as success. Perhaps climbing the ladder is tiring, but it is not confusing. You are never left wondering if you've made the wrong choice, or expended energy in the wrong direction, because there is only one rung above you. Get good grades. Get better at your sport. Take the SAT. Do volunteer work. Apply to colleges. Choose a college. But then you get to college, and suddenly you're out of rungs and that ladder has turned into a massive tree with hundreds of sprawling limbs, and progress is no longer a thing you can easily measure, because there are now thousands of paths to millions of destinations. And none are linear."
- "Maddy thought being a college student was synonymous with being an adult, which somehow was supposed to be synonymous with individual problem solving-a mistake we all make and most of us recover from."
- "Everything we do is seen as instrumental towards marketing ourselves for the college admission boards, or for the job market, or to help us rush a fraternity or sorority, or to help us win friends, or to help us be a more attractive potential partner. You see the capitalist worldview has infiltrated our psychology, and our sense of self-worth.....It results in micro-managing every aspect of our lives to best effect so that it looks good for Facebook or Linkedin or Tinder. It results in constant comparisons with our peers (which causes depression) and catastrophizing of any potential dent to our marketability (which results in anxiety)."
An extremely important book on mental health, the pressures of being a college athlete, and the influence of social media. One of the hardest books I’ve read, and one of the most significant. Thank you Maddy ❤️
This was just heartbreaking, and it will stick with me for a long while. The fact Maddy started college only a year before I did hit hard; it could've just as easily been someone I knew. On one hand, I'm empathetic to the memory of Maddy, because who among us wouldn't be mortified that their private text messages, emails, and notes/documents were put on display for the world to dissect? On the other, the author does a wonderful job telling her story in a respectful way and unpacks several factors that can compound mental illness, particularly for young adults, without overspeculating or trying to pinpoint a single cause of Maddy's death. The message is clear: depression can affect anyone, in different ways, no matter how "perfect" things appear on the surface. The metaphor of the rug weavers seeing imperfections not as "weakness," but as uniqueness and beauty, is such a healthier way of looking at the world, and people. Unfortunately, not enough of us see it that way. As a final note, I especially appreciated Fagan's vulnerability and openness about her own struggles with mental health. You can just feel there's a connection between her and Maddy, as crazy as that sounds, that resonates throughout. On some level, I think everyone living in our world today can connect with Maddy's story too.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
This book is just heartbreaking, and while I highly recommend it, it’s with a disclaimer for anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide to brace themselves / make sure they’re ready for this type of read. I do believe it is a necessary read, as it clearly illuminates the burgeoning mental health crisis our society is facing and the never ending pressure kids are facing these days to do it all, while projecting a perfect image on social media. I’m truly so saddened by this story - one of a young woman with such a solid family, so much potential and so many opportunities ahead of her. Awfully well written, no matter how heartbreaking.
An important topic discussed thru an athlete's life that felt relatable. However, I didn't care for the author relating Maddy's experiences directly to her experiences thru mini chapters, and the sections more about suicide and college athletes' experiences statistically didn't tie in well/flow well.
This book made me angry. I wasn't expecting to also (have to) read the very dissimilar story of the author in every other chapter. The author, herself, was a student-athlete but admits several times throughout the book that she has never experienced severe mental health issues. Additionally, while suicide prevention awareness advocates were consulted, no mental health specialists were interviewed.
The parts about Maddy were pretty good. The author is a talented writer. However, this part is where most of my anger comes in. It seems to me that Maddy was giving everyone some very clear signals about her distress. She talks (seemingly constantly) about being unhappy. She never even has a consult for depression medication?????? She has very disordered eating (also a sign of poor mental health) and other obsessive/compulsive traits. Definite red flags for me. And both parents were far too wrapped up in THEIR DAUGHTER being this big Ivy League athlete - perhaps prioritizing this over her literal cries for help. Again, the Maddy sections were good, but I reject the notion that this child committed suicide out of the blue. She was screaming for help, but the adults in her life either wouldn't or couldn't hear it.
Signed, a mental health therapist
The parts about Maddy were pretty good. The author is a talented writer. However, this part is where most of my anger comes in. It seems to me that Maddy was giving everyone some very clear signals about her distress. She talks (seemingly constantly) about being unhappy. She never even has a consult for depression medication?????? She has very disordered eating (also a sign of poor mental health) and other obsessive/compulsive traits. Definite red flags for me. And both parents were far too wrapped up in THEIR DAUGHTER being this big Ivy League athlete - perhaps prioritizing this over her literal cries for help. Again, the Maddy sections were good, but I reject the notion that this child committed suicide out of the blue. She was screaming for help, but the adults in her life either wouldn't or couldn't hear it.
Signed, a mental health therapist