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browniedoodle's review against another edition
1.0
I will do my best to leave actual religious preferences and beliefs out of this, because my concerns for this book come from a different place.
First, there is a heavy emphasis on how there is only female and male; the chapter focusing on this goes on to explain gender roles, how we should approach them, not let man be woman or woman be man because we are called to not be like the other. There was such a strong emphasis on that there is -only- female and male, which you don’t have to be a non-believer to know is scientifically not true. Intersex people exist, people with varying genitalia, chromosomes, sexual organs, hormones, etcetera. The book mentions how we are told our gender at birth, and that section is a crude oversimplification of the process. Like all other forms of biology like height, weight, hair, it is not a black and white subject and I think it’d be worthwhile for Christians to view the “grey” of gender and sex more compassionately.
Secondly, the book discusses homosexuality and specifically equates the concept of acting on those “temptations” the same as if he, the author, cheated on his wife with another woman. This is a disturbing comparison that a man betraying and shattering his wife’s trust and marital covenant could be equivalent to a gay relationship that could be a committed, loving, beneficial relationship. These are not the same - you betraying your partner is not the same as same-sex individuals agreeing to be in a potentially healthy, trusting relationship.
Lastly, the book’s author notes how he and his wife were both virgins until they got married, were each other’s first experience of sex, etcetera. He speaks very highly of maintaining your virginity and happily experiencing healthy sex within marriage, which in many ways is not a luxury or privilege everyone has (e.g., sexual assault, needing to do sex work to survive, painful sex, marital r*pe). The book doesn’t discuss the nuance of this, if anything just jokes and makes light of it, which I would also note feels disrespectful for people in which this is a trauma-filled and heavy topic, and it should’ve taken time to acknowledge that more since a major focus of the book is sex. In the words of Rachel Held Evans in “Wholehearted Faith”, “…it was my privilege that protected me from the sharpest edges of my own theology.” The book also speaks poorly of anyone who is actively and continuously in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, saying whether it is now or in 5 years or 100 years things will come crashing down on them. That cocky and cold view of what could again be a healthy, long-lasting and consensual relationship, is upsetting to see in a Christian; to see the book practically anticipate ill will for those sexually active.
Also, to clarify I am not intersex, and I remained a virgin until my hetero marriage. So I am not frustrated about these concepts for my own self, but for the lack of compassion it has towards people who are shamed by the church.
First, there is a heavy emphasis on how there is only female and male; the chapter focusing on this goes on to explain gender roles, how we should approach them, not let man be woman or woman be man because we are called to not be like the other. There was such a strong emphasis on that there is -only- female and male, which you don’t have to be a non-believer to know is scientifically not true. Intersex people exist, people with varying genitalia, chromosomes, sexual organs, hormones, etcetera. The book mentions how we are told our gender at birth, and that section is a crude oversimplification of the process. Like all other forms of biology like height, weight, hair, it is not a black and white subject and I think it’d be worthwhile for Christians to view the “grey” of gender and sex more compassionately.
Secondly, the book discusses homosexuality and specifically equates the concept of acting on those “temptations” the same as if he, the author, cheated on his wife with another woman. This is a disturbing comparison that a man betraying and shattering his wife’s trust and marital covenant could be equivalent to a gay relationship that could be a committed, loving, beneficial relationship. These are not the same - you betraying your partner is not the same as same-sex individuals agreeing to be in a potentially healthy, trusting relationship.
Lastly, the book’s author notes how he and his wife were both virgins until they got married, were each other’s first experience of sex, etcetera. He speaks very highly of maintaining your virginity and happily experiencing healthy sex within marriage, which in many ways is not a luxury or privilege everyone has (e.g., sexual assault, needing to do sex work to survive, painful sex, marital r*pe). The book doesn’t discuss the nuance of this, if anything just jokes and makes light of it, which I would also note feels disrespectful for people in which this is a trauma-filled and heavy topic, and it should’ve taken time to acknowledge that more since a major focus of the book is sex. In the words of Rachel Held Evans in “Wholehearted Faith”, “…it was my privilege that protected me from the sharpest edges of my own theology.” The book also speaks poorly of anyone who is actively and continuously in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, saying whether it is now or in 5 years or 100 years things will come crashing down on them. That cocky and cold view of what could again be a healthy, long-lasting and consensual relationship, is upsetting to see in a Christian; to see the book practically anticipate ill will for those sexually active.
Also, to clarify I am not intersex, and I remained a virgin until my hetero marriage. So I am not frustrated about these concepts for my own self, but for the lack of compassion it has towards people who are shamed by the church.
claystennett's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
danielleroegner's review against another edition
reflective
fast-paced
3.5
I feel conflicted on what to rate this book. Some of its chapters are full of sound advice I wish someone had told me long ago. I did not have the spiritual guidance I wish I had for dating. However, I had a hard time with this book because it didn’t feel rooted in scripture. It felt more like he was giving his view of things. I would have appreciated this book a lot more if he referenced scripture and explained it very specifically in the context of what his points were. I didn’t need another opinion, I needed an explanation of what the Bible says about dating, sex, etc. And I feel like this book tried to explore these topics but didn’t quite hit the mark to truly explain their interpretations.
cdwink's review against another edition
4.0
I enjoyed this book and thought it was especially good for those looking towards marriage (though I am married and enjoyed it). However, I am egalitarian and disagree with his take on gender roles. but overlooking that, the rest of the content was good.
jlkenneth's review against another edition
5.0
A book filled to the brim with hope, healing, and the life of Jesus. Absolutely loved this read
katherinecjones's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
knachknachjoke's review against another edition
5.0
I bought this book at Barnes and Noble yesterday afternoon, and I finished it yesterday evening.
Was it good? It was fantastic.
Was it a good idea to read so quickly? Maybe not.
Did I take anything out of it? Loads.
I'm only 16, so this book talked about a lot of things I know I won't be facing for another year or two. However, I don't think that means I shouldn't have read it. I'm so glad to be stepping into the dating world with this book in the forefront of my mind—because of this book, my resolve to not date exclusively until I'm old enough to be considering marriage has been strengthened, and so has my desire to "stay pure" (in quotations because I know it's really cliché but at the same time, how else do you word it?) for my husband.
I read this book very quickly. For anyone looking to read it who is seriously considering either dating or marriage, I wouldn't recommend reading it as fast as I did. Even I had to stop and take breaks when I felt I was getting bored or numb to Comer's intended message. This book has so much to think about that I know I'll be going back to it again and again when I need to recall something or strengthen my resolve to wait—there's so much here to think about. One of the reviews here said he didn't bring anything new to the table. My response is maybe not, but he puts all of the theology on love and marriage into one place, and he makes it accessible and understandable to all. Entire books are written to explain what he covers in just one topic, and it's so much more palatable to people like me especially, who are trying to understand God's plan and how marriage ties into that. He does a wonderful job starting at the Garden and going back to the imagery of Eden again and again, demonstrating the original marriage and how God designed it to be. He goes on to discuss marriage, sex, dating, and many questions asked about gender identity and homosexuality. It's a little guidebook for some of the most controversial topics in today's age (minus abortion and predestination!)
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I'll be recommending it to anyone who is on the precipice of dating and marriage, and as I grow older I'll be reading and rereading my own copy. I'm really glad it only sells in hardcover—otherwise, you'd wear out your copy faster than I go through ear buds!
Was it good? It was fantastic.
Was it a good idea to read so quickly? Maybe not.
Did I take anything out of it? Loads.
I'm only 16, so this book talked about a lot of things I know I won't be facing for another year or two. However, I don't think that means I shouldn't have read it. I'm so glad to be stepping into the dating world with this book in the forefront of my mind—because of this book, my resolve to not date exclusively until I'm old enough to be considering marriage has been strengthened, and so has my desire to "stay pure" (in quotations because I know it's really cliché but at the same time, how else do you word it?) for my husband.
I read this book very quickly. For anyone looking to read it who is seriously considering either dating or marriage, I wouldn't recommend reading it as fast as I did. Even I had to stop and take breaks when I felt I was getting bored or numb to Comer's intended message. This book has so much to think about that I know I'll be going back to it again and again when I need to recall something or strengthen my resolve to wait—there's so much here to think about. One of the reviews here said he didn't bring anything new to the table. My response is maybe not, but he puts all of the theology on love and marriage into one place, and he makes it accessible and understandable to all. Entire books are written to explain what he covers in just one topic, and it's so much more palatable to people like me especially, who are trying to understand God's plan and how marriage ties into that. He does a wonderful job starting at the Garden and going back to the imagery of Eden again and again, demonstrating the original marriage and how God designed it to be. He goes on to discuss marriage, sex, dating, and many questions asked about gender identity and homosexuality. It's a little guidebook for some of the most controversial topics in today's age (minus abortion and predestination!)
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I'll be recommending it to anyone who is on the precipice of dating and marriage, and as I grow older I'll be reading and rereading my own copy. I'm really glad it only sells in hardcover—otherwise, you'd wear out your copy faster than I go through ear buds!