Scan barcode
allieh24's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Medical trauma, Injury/Injury detail, Cancer, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Suicide attempt, Self harm, Medical content, Death, Toxic relationship, and Chronic illness
tamtamslibrary's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Before you read the rest of this review, pleasepleaseplease check trigger warnings. This is a VERY heavy book, and I recommend being in the right headspace to read it. I would not recommend reading this if you are struggling with loss or depression—they are avid themes throughout.
That aside, this is a story of grief, loss, hope, and love. On the prose level, this is written beautifully—especially if you love metaphorical language and imagery. The characters are all unique and individualized, and you will never be the same after C and Neo (and if you are, well, lucky you not falling victim to emotional tragedy).
You will be confused at times when it comes to the narrator, and I can’t stress this enough—THAT IS THE POINT. Will you like the narrator by the end? Maybe not, but this isn’t just their story.
I listened to the audio version of this, and the fact that it was read by Lancali makes it that much more emotional. I knew very little about this book going in, but I couldn’t stop listening, even when I was left with more questions.
The structure isn’t perfect, and it messes with the pacing some, but the characters, themes, and language make up for that.
Again, check the trigger warnings. I am not joking when I say there is some parts where I had to pause and take a f*cking breath. This is set in a hospital with a few different sick characters who all have different relationships with others and themselves, so it is meant to be emotional.
I’ll list the main TW here (since I post the review on Goodreads as well).
Grief, child abuse (shown through bruises and injuries mostly, but there is a instance where there is some details), anorexia, self harm, child illnesses, abandonment, and one paragraph mention of rape (not graphic or detailed, just mentioned).
That aside, this is a story of grief, loss, hope, and love. On the prose level, this is written beautifully—especially if you love metaphorical language and imagery. The characters are all unique and individualized, and you will never be the same after C and Neo (and if you are, well, lucky you not falling victim to emotional tragedy).
You will be confused at times when it comes to the narrator, and I can’t stress this enough—THAT IS THE POINT. Will you like the narrator by the end? Maybe not, but this isn’t just their story.
I listened to the audio version of this, and the fact that it was read by Lancali makes it that much more emotional. I knew very little about this book going in, but I couldn’t stop listening, even when I was left with more questions.
The structure isn’t perfect, and it messes with the pacing some, but the characters, themes, and language make up for that.
Again, check the trigger warnings. I am not joking when I say there is some parts where I had to pause and take a f*cking breath. This is set in a hospital with a few different sick characters who all have different relationships with others and themselves, so it is meant to be emotional.
I’ll list the main TW here (since I post the review on Goodreads as well).
Grief, child abuse (shown through bruises and injuries mostly, but there is a instance where there is some details), anorexia, self harm, child illnesses, abandonment, and one paragraph mention of rape (not graphic or detailed, just mentioned).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Abandonment, Eating disorder, Child abuse, Terminal illness, and Self harm
Moderate: Suicide attempt and Mental illness
Minor: Rape
lilareads5678's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
if you want to be happy don’t read this book.
This was the saddest book I have read by far. But one of my favorites. You don’t learn much about the main character but in the end it all comes together. This book had the best quotes ever. It was also so poetically beautiful.
This was the saddest book I have read by far. But one of my favorites. You don’t learn much about the main character but in the end it all comes together. This book had the best quotes ever. It was also so poetically beautiful.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Child abuse, Death, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Terminal illness, Self harm, Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, Medical content, Chronic illness, Child death, Eating disorder, and Grief
Moderate: Cursing, Vomit, Rape, War, Blood, Bullying, Death of parent, Panic attacks/disorders, Homophobia, and Pregnancy
ninarivagf's review against another edition
dark
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Eating disorder, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Homophobia, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Bullying, Rape, Violence, Self harm, Suicide, and Sexual violence
kyrstin_p1989's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I wanted a book that was going to wreck me and I certainly found it. This is such a devastating, gorgeous, fucked up love story. It’s a story about friendship, about growing up, about becoming who you’re meant to be, about fighting off our demons. While a little abstract in some ways, this book is so powerful in its messaging about how we should exist on this planet and is such a phenomenal reminder about what is most important. It reminded me in some ways of “The Book Thief” by Marcus Zusak, which is another top five read for me. I’ve cried so much reading this that my eyes are barely able to see. Highly, highly recommend.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Cancer, Child abuse, Death of parent, Body horror, Child death, Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Rape, Vomit, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Body shaming, Bullying, Chronic illness, Death, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Ableism, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Terminal illness, Medical content, Religious bigotry, Self harm, and Toxic relationship
tyghe_bright's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
From the outset, I knew I'd love this book, even if the story was imperfect. The *writing*. The prose in this little book is STUNNING. It's made me catch my breath several times. The writing is impressionistic, which I *love*, but may not be for folks who prefer narrative plot-driven novels.1
The prose remains strong throughout, though not quite as strong when she's focused on plot. And the plot often suffers from "that's not how it works" with unrealistic portrayals of life in a hospital. Something the author knows about, because she's struggled with autoimmune disease. I also really felt the author's youth. It feels a little immature at times.
There's a "twist" about the narrator which is handled a little clumsily. It's hinted at heavily, and then explained explicitly, where it would have been better left more open.
Some reviews say it needed to be more accurate and realistic... but I disagree. If I were her editor, I would have encouraged her to go MORE abstract and fantastical. Her work shines most when she focuses on emotion and sensation.
Overall, it's a beautiful, if slightly imperfect, book with lovely, tender, tragic relationships. I still recommend it and will look for more by Lancali.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Chronic illness, Grief, Medical content, and Terminal illness
Moderate: Eating disorder, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail, Vomit, Ableism, Car accident, Child abuse, Death of parent, Body shaming, Self harm, and Religious bigotry
theboxoffice's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Oh my GOSH!! Did I LOVE this book, it was so heartbreaking and emotional and I can't help but think how much worse it could have been if Neo and C or two or more of them had Cystic Fibrosis. The ending though?? Wow
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Terminal illness, and Suicide
Moderate: Self harm, Eating disorder, and Death of parent
sneha_sharma's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
It took me some time to grasp the story and build interest. The plot is slow in the beginning, speeds up a bit and maintains the same pace throughout, until the end. Also the dialogues are too poetic, and sort of hinder the flow of reading.
A major thing that should be mentioned somewhere in the beginning or on the back of the book is trigger warnings.
A major thing that should be mentioned somewhere in the beginning or on the back of the book is trigger warnings.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder and Grief
Moderate: Child abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide
Minor: Rape
robin_hood's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
I feel like it was trying too hard to be poetic and whimsical, but in the end it just fell flat. The metaphors are overused and repeated in every chapter, the dialogue is unrealistic, and the writing itself is hard to follow, choppy, and grammatically challenged.
It was an easy read, yes, but I really only finished it because I was reading it for someone else. If I’d picked it up on my own, I would’ve probably DNFed it.
The ending was? Sad? The other characters’ stories anddeaths were well done and emotional, but the whole thing with Sam and Hikari was lost on me.
It was an easy read, yes, but I really only finished it because I was reading it for someone else. If I’d picked it up on my own, I would’ve probably DNFed it.
The ending was? Sad? The other characters’ stories and
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Chronic illness, Terminal illness, and Self harm
Minor: Rape
kikiwest's review against another edition
challenging
dark
sad
slow-paced
1.0
I DNFed this book about a quarter of the way through. I have DNFed maybe 5 books in my life, so it’s very rare. I’m learning to let it happen more often, instead of suffering through bad books. Before I get into my very, very long winded review, I want to give a disclaimer - I have nothing against the author, I understand she has been through rough situations in life that inspired this book. That being said, I think this book was published far too early, and should have been edited, revised, and then maybe left to marinate for a little while before being released into the world.
The Writing:
There were multiple reasons I quit this book. The writing style itself was number one. This book was trying soooo hard to be whimsy and lyrical and poetic and wallflowery that it was painful to read. Some authors can pull that off, but this felt like I was reading a 14 year old writing Pride and Prejudice fan fiction. The way the characters spoke was so unbelievable. They’re sick teenagers living in current times - I’ve not met a single person in my 29 years of life who speaks like that, and I’ve met some insane and imaginative and theatrical people. The rest of the writing that was not dialogue was hard to follow and had very poor grammar. I’ve always been someone who can forgive fragmented sentences and run ons for the sake of style - so long as it’s still readable. This was not. Some ideas were so incredibly forced - I lost track of how many times Hikari was yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow hair, yellow eyes, the sun personified. There is such a thing as too much, and everything in this book was too much.
The Plot:
The beginning felt very much like a Fault in our Stars knock off. ‘Let’s get cigarettes and booze as a metaphor for telling death to f*** off!’ - except it wasn’t done very well. If you’re gonna rip off an idea or plot point from someone, you have to at least do it better to justify the rip off. I didn’t make it far enough in the book to really tear into the plot, but I did read several reviews that made it very clear to me that I will not be reading any further. Spoilers below.
————
Sam… isn’t real? I hate it, but I understand the appeal for some. What I DON’T understand is how Sam can’t interfere with anyone in order to help them - but she can interfere in harmful ways? Did she not help Hikari steal the items she used to harm herself in the beginning? This doesn’t make any sense, and was the nail in the coffin for me.
Harmful Characterizations:
There are multiple other reviews that discuss this, so I’ll try not to beat a dead horse. Instead I’ll talk about why I assume the author thought she was immune from this kind of criticism, and why that doesn’t work.
Many have said the characterization of Neo’s ED was glamorized or portrayed in a harmful way. Sam doesn’t tell anyone, and if we’re saying she can’t because she’s not real, then neither do any of the REAL characters, which is not right. The same exact thing can be said for Hikari’s self harm. Her friends absolutely should have spoken up and gotten her help, and yet they did not.
I think the author thought she could get away with this because she herself has either suffered from chronic illness or loved someone who has suffered and maybe died from chronic illness. The fact that she’s lived through the life she writes about probably leads her to believe she can write whatever she wants, no matter how dark, because she’s experienced it. I think this is not at all the case, and I’ll wrap up my review with why.
If young people read this (which I feel is the target audience, being written by a young author, with teenage characters, and marketed mostly through TikTok) they might see these ‘friends’ keep Neo’s ED and Hikari’s SH a secret and not tell any adults, which they might emulate in their own lives if they don’t know any better. While I don’t think it’s responsible for every book to be educational, nor do I expect authors to avoid darker topics for fear of having young impressionable readers, we all know how many, many young people glamorized 13 Reasons Why and To The Bone - if you’re writing to a young audience and you have these topics, I do think you should be very careful how you portray these elements.
I had high hopes, and yet BookTok strikes again. When will I learn my lesson?
The Writing:
There were multiple reasons I quit this book. The writing style itself was number one. This book was trying soooo hard to be whimsy and lyrical and poetic and wallflowery that it was painful to read. Some authors can pull that off, but this felt like I was reading a 14 year old writing Pride and Prejudice fan fiction. The way the characters spoke was so unbelievable. They’re sick teenagers living in current times - I’ve not met a single person in my 29 years of life who speaks like that, and I’ve met some insane and imaginative and theatrical people. The rest of the writing that was not dialogue was hard to follow and had very poor grammar. I’ve always been someone who can forgive fragmented sentences and run ons for the sake of style - so long as it’s still readable. This was not. Some ideas were so incredibly forced - I lost track of how many times Hikari was yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow hair, yellow eyes, the sun personified. There is such a thing as too much, and everything in this book was too much.
The Plot:
The beginning felt very much like a Fault in our Stars knock off. ‘Let’s get cigarettes and booze as a metaphor for telling death to f*** off!’ - except it wasn’t done very well. If you’re gonna rip off an idea or plot point from someone, you have to at least do it better to justify the rip off. I didn’t make it far enough in the book to really tear into the plot, but I did read several reviews that made it very clear to me that I will not be reading any further. Spoilers below.
————
Sam… isn’t real? I hate it, but I understand the appeal for some. What I DON’T understand is how Sam can’t interfere with anyone in order to help them - but she can interfere in harmful ways? Did she not help Hikari steal the items she used to harm herself in the beginning? This doesn’t make any sense, and was the nail in the coffin for me.
Harmful Characterizations:
There are multiple other reviews that discuss this, so I’ll try not to beat a dead horse. Instead I’ll talk about why I assume the author thought she was immune from this kind of criticism, and why that doesn’t work.
Many have said the characterization of Neo’s ED was glamorized or portrayed in a harmful way. Sam doesn’t tell anyone, and if we’re saying she can’t because she’s not real, then neither do any of the REAL characters, which is not right. The same exact thing can be said for Hikari’s self harm. Her friends absolutely should have spoken up and gotten her help, and yet they did not.
I think the author thought she could get away with this because she herself has either suffered from chronic illness or loved someone who has suffered and maybe died from chronic illness. The fact that she’s lived through the life she writes about probably leads her to believe she can write whatever she wants, no matter how dark, because she’s experienced it. I think this is not at all the case, and I’ll wrap up my review with why.
If young people read this (which I feel is the target audience, being written by a young author, with teenage characters, and marketed mostly through TikTok) they might see these ‘friends’ keep Neo’s ED and Hikari’s SH a secret and not tell any adults, which they might emulate in their own lives if they don’t know any better. While I don’t think it’s responsible for every book to be educational, nor do I expect authors to avoid darker topics for fear of having young impressionable readers, we all know how many, many young people glamorized 13 Reasons Why and To The Bone - if you’re writing to a young audience and you have these topics, I do think you should be very careful how you portray these elements.
I had high hopes, and yet BookTok strikes again. When will I learn my lesson?
Content Warnings
Moderate: Eating disorder, Self harm, and Death