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2.82 AVERAGE
2.82 AVERAGE
I'm too tired for a proper review but since Tony kind of spent most of the story misgendering others and then wouldn't let their/his girlfriend have any time to figure out her orientation (WHICH NEVER GETS RESOLVED BY THE WAY?? Like?? I don't know if the author realizes this but it was obviously a BIG DEAL to Gretchen and dismissing it like she did doesn't change the fact that no matter how much you love someone as a human, it can still be a big deal). I like the ending and bits and pieces but sooo many bits were shitty. Especially the South Park bit and how casually Tony could throw money around. Also: has the author been in first year?? First years DO NOT get 20 page papers or seminars. Like even at Harvard or NYU you have to go through survey courses.
I know that sounds like a typical romance, and in some ways What We Left Behind is very typical. Both Toni, who I am going to refer to as T from now on, and Gretchen are experiencing a brand new place and brand new people for the first time. Neither of them have a group of friends that they are going to college with, and the one person that they could both always count on isn't right there for support.
But it is also atypical in the way that Robin Talley portrays T's and Gretchen's lives and the frank realizations about identity, gender, and sexuality. The reason I refer to T as T is because T is trying to understand T's identity and how T presents. So for parts of the book T does not use gendered pronouns to talk about anyone, in other parts T uses "they", and in other parts T tries out "ze" and "hir". T also thinks through multiple different gender options: for much of the book, T identifies as genderqueer, but then that doesn't quite fit. Maybe nonbinary or genderfluid works better. Or maybe it’s one of the multitude of other "labels" T tries out. All T knows is that not one is a perfect fit.
If you feel a little confused just reading that sentence, then you get a sense of what not just T, but Gretchen, is going through. While T is struggling to identify T's gender, and what that means, Gretchen is struggling to find her own place within T's journey. I found the journey that T goes on to be very authentic in voice. Identity, any sort of identity, let alone an identity that is typically considered out of the heteronormative identity that general society conducts itself in, can be confusing to figure out. And trying to fight certain stereotypes, which are even perpetuated within the LGBTQ+ community, can be difficult to overcome.
But that is where Robin Talley's beautiful writing comes into play. She really crafts this journey well, so much so that I think even a straight cisgender identifying reader can relate. It is ultimately about finding out who you are, and while T's struggle is based in gender, Gretchen acts as a counterpoint to that with a broader struggle of just who she really is as a person. I find myself feeling as a part of the story, rooting for T and Gretchen; commiserating with them through the hard times and celebrating with them through the joyful times. I would definitely be friends with both and I just really feel for the struggle that their relationship and they themselves are going through.
Not only is Robin Talley's characterization great, her prose is beautiful in it's simplicity and authenticity . One of my favorite lines is found near the beginning of the book, "I never imagined that being one half of a whole could make you feel more whole all by yourself" (page 24). I just love how simple that idea is, but it has such a profound effect. There are other great lines, some heartbreaking, others uplifting, all throughout the book. Intriguing characterization and solid writing are the two things I devour in books; luckily What We Left Behind has both in abundance.
I think this is an important book within the young adult book world. Robin Talley opens the avenue for conversation about gender identity, LGBTQ+ rights, navigating college, first romances and first heartbreaks all within the confines of 416 pages. I really encourage you to go out and read What We Left Behind for yourself; I think you'll really enjoy it.
As someone who struggles to figure out their identity, I could relate to T in regards to that - the confusion, the desire to know yourself and know which box to check (or if you belong in any of the boxes at all). However, Robin Talley's portrayal of T as genderqueer is abysmal. She presents it as if it's a stepping stone, like genderqueer is the first step to becoming "really trans."
T's use of pronouns also bothers me. At the beginning of the book, T refuses to use pronouns at all, and then tries using gender-neutral pronouns, before giving up and using gendered pronouns anyway. The thing is, you don't get to choose what pronouns you use for another person. If someone wants you to use he/him when you refer to him, that's what you do. If someone wants you to use she/her when you refer to her, that's what you do. If someone wants you to use they/them, xe/xem, zie/hir, or any other neutral pronoun to refer to them, that's what you do. By the end of the book, however, T had given up on gender-neutral pronouns because it was just too difficult.
This book could not have more clearly been written by a cis person. There is so much transphobic language that is used, especially by Carroll, and it made me uncomfortable reading it. What's more, Gretchen didn't even try to defend T or tell Carroll not to use that kind of harmful language because she didn't know everything about what genderqueer/trans meant. You don't have to know everything about trans issues to know that tr*nny is an inappropriate thing to say, especially if the character never learns and corrects themself or apologizes.
On top of all the transphobia (on both the Author's part and the Characters'), the love story between T and Gretchen is just boring. Love at first sight could have been interesting if this book had been written better and didn't read like a dry essay on what it means to be genderqueer (even though Robin Talley doesn't even know what it means to be genderqueer).
I would not recommend this book to anyone, especially if I wanted them to learn about trans/non-binary issues. It makes it seem like being genderqueer is just a phase trans people go through until they decide whether or not they're "actually" trans.
To me, this is NOT a good book for genderqueer representation… or ANY representation for that matter, because despite this book being filled with queer characters, many of them are so excruciatingly ignorant and problematic. Seriously, I expected so much more from a novel that’s supposedly LGBTQ+-friendly, but this book was a freaking train wreck, which makes me question whether the author really knows anything about being genderqueer or actually wants to create positive representations of queer people. Throughout the novel, the characters constantly put others down, frequently marginalize non-binary characters and act superior over them… and in the case of one character, he is severely transphobic and frequently uses transphobic slurs, among other incredibly offensive, degrading language. This book should be titled, “How NOT to write a queer character.”
Now, I started off actually liking this book. I thought it was sweet how Toni and Gretchen met across the dance floor at their prom. Then when they find out they’ll be going to different colleges, I was a bit “Meh.” Maybe I’m just not into that trope. I mean, it’s REALLY not the end of the world, guys. And do you really expect to go everywhere together in life, even if that means sacrificing your own ambitions and independence just so you can still see each other every day? But still, It was whatever. Not that bad. Then they go to college, and that’s where everything goes downhill, and where Gretchen meets Carroll, who I deem the most awful character I have ever had the misfortune to know. Remember the character who says a ton of transphobic things? This is him. And seriously, he is so awful. Despite being gay himself, he just reminds me of the typical sexist, cis-gendered dude-bro that we all strive to avoid at all costs. So you’d think that with his own sexuality he’d know better and come with his own complexity as a character. Nope! This is not the case. At all.
The worst part is that Gretchen, for whatever reason, actually LIKES HIM, despite the fact that he pretty much insulted her partner right off the bat:
“But I can already tell Carroll’s going to be a good friend.”
Um, not really??? He’s kind of a huge douche. And I’m sorry, did he not just say, “What, is your girlfriend one of those hard-core bra-burning lesbo feminazis? Cause you don’t seem like that type at all.” Not to mention he just made fun of Toni for not using she/her pronouns and repeatedly said he knew how to spot a “lesbo.”
All together now: UGHHHHH.
Oh, but this isn’t the end of Carroll saying incredibly offensive things. Not even close. Because pretty much everything out of his mouth for the rest of the novel is so bafflingly ignorant, and he especially continues to be hostile and extremely transphobic in regard to Toni:
- “Your girlfriend’s a man?”
“So, what, your girlfriend’s an it?”
(OH MY GOD, why does Gretchen like this guy again?!)
“your shemale ex”
"So...Are you into that? Are you one of those girls who's into the whole guys-wearing-panties thing, and vice versa? Like, does it turn you on?"
“SHE AND HER BAT- CRAZY TRANNY GIRLFRIEND ARE ON A BREAK!”
Part of me suspects that the reason he hates Toni so much (besides the fact that he’s just an ass) is that he latches onto Gretchen pretty quickly when they meet, since he doesn’t have anyone else (GEE, I WONDER WHY). So he hates any moment when he realizes that Gretchen isn’t just his, and he quickly becomes entitled, which also makes Carroll an extremely immature character. Not to mention the fact that he is also a sexist douche toward Gretchen too, sexualizes her bisexual identity (ew), and accuses her of being trans:
“You’re such a little fifties wife already. Hey, if she becomes a guy it’ll be legal even in, like, Russia, right?”
“I knew you had an inner tramp.” (In response to Gretchen saying she had 8 girlfriends in 5 years).
(Because Gretchen said she’s not a girly girl) “Does that mean you’re kind of trans, too, like Toni?”
Toward the end of the book, Carroll and Gretchen go out and get drunk, and Carroll makes Gretchen dance with this other girl to get her mind off Toni. Well, one thing leads to another, and out of frustration at Toni, Gretchen sleeps with Carroll. But then Carroll gets mad at her over this and makes it seem like it’s all her fault when HE’S the one who told Gretchen to dance with a random girl to forget about Toni, and HE’S the one who said “If you won’t dance with her, I will!” And then he blames HER for what happened, which leads him to say this:
“What I remember is you dancing like a maniac in that club, hitting on everything that moved, like some bi nympho or something.”
So rather than own up to his actions and partial responsibility for what happened, Carroll instead paints Gretchen as the evil bisexual who threw her sexuality everywhere even though that’s not at all what happened. Great example of biphobia, along with every other way that Carroll is the most problematic character ever. And the worst part is that he makes Gretchen feel like she’s the one who should feel bad and who should feel responsible for what happened, and she goes on believing it for the rest of the novel. She even misses him and wishes things could go back to normal between them. Like… girl, don’t miss him! Do not even feel remotely bad about what happened, and don’t let him make you feel like you’re the bad person. Just be glad you’re rid of that piece of garbage excuse for a human!
Besides Carroll being literally the worst character ever, the other character I couldn’t stand in this story is Toni. Now, it’s fine to be confused about your identity and to explore different options. But she takes it to another level by acting like she knows so much more about gender than everyone else when it doesn’t seem like she herself has a freaking clue. I felt like a lot of the time she was trying to force habits just so she could be ~alternative and above gender~, not necessarily because that's how she naturally felt. Like, the amount of times throughout the novel that she spent focusing on and agonizing over pronouns is unbearable. And it didn't seem like that was the most important thing in the grand scheme of things, but she convinced herself that it was and kept going back and forth over it, trying "they" and then trying "ze" and "hir," and half the time she'd end up slipping and using "she" pronouns for other people anyway. Yet at the same time, she would lecture everyone else on the gender binary and pronouns, as if she was the expert on it all... when she wasn't perfect either! News flash: it's called ASKING what peoples' pronouns are. And, you don't have to use gender-neutral pronouns for everyone, especially if they already identify as "he/him" or "she/her"!
Side note: I also thought this book did a terrible job at properly going into what being genderqueer means and representing it. Many times, characters talk about what it means to be genderqueer, often treating it as being indecisive and not making up one's mind yet, like what Carroll says here:
“The site said a lot of genderqueer people are just kids who haven’t made up their minds yet whether they want to be a boy or a girl.”
NOPE, that is literally not what it means at all. Genderqueer is not a phase. It's not an in-between point until you figure out whether you're a boy or a girl. Genderqueer, in simplest terms, means that one's gender does not fit in with socially constructed norms of gender. In terms of "boy or girl," it can mean being both or neither. It can mean existing anywhere on the spectrum in between masculine and feminine. That being said, it would probably be a great fit for Toni, since it doesn't assume any specific label (other than genderqueer), it doesn't enforce anything, and it allows for variation and ambiguity (what with Toni not wanting to 100% identify as either a girl or boy)
The other irritating trait about Toni is that she’s so focused on distancing herself from the gender binary and being mad at others for not understanding, yet she goes out of her way to judge and criticize others who are within the binary, which?? Just like you wouldn’t want to be judged for being outside the binary, why would you judge others who do identify within the binary? You can’t help how you identify, and even if you don’t like the binary, some people feel comfortable in it. Let them! That is honestly so counter-productive to look down on someone because they fit the feminine role, and it just reeks of being snooty and feeling superior over others, not to mention it’s misogynistic. If you want to know what I’m talking about, Toni basically hates her two roommates for being cisgender. Sure, they’re not perfect, but attacking them because they’re feminine does not make you the better person:
“Why do they always have to dress like that?… It’s like Joanna and Felicia are trying to be as girly as humanly possible. They might as well be wearing signs that say "We’re Cisgender, and Don’t You Forget It.”
Oh my god, WHY DO YOU CARE?? Why do you go out of your way to judge them and deem yourself superior?! You’re literally so obnoxious
Oh, but wait! In case that wasn’t bad, then Toni shames her roommates and claims they can’t be feminist if they wear bikinis:
“Joanna and Felicia are the ultimate gender conformists. Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis.”
You. Did not. Just say that. Oh, my god. Do you… do you actually know what feminism is? Probably no more than you know what being transgender is! I know you’re having a hissy fit with this whole thing about how no one understands you and how you think your girlfriend is so much prettier than you and is probably better off without you in New York, wah wah wah… but shaming other women for wearing bikinis and feeling good about themselves is not the answer!
For these reasons, I just couldn’t stop seeing Toni as a brooding, ugly, immature bully throughout this whole novel. And a lot of times, I honestly just found her to be pretty pathetic. The way she latches onto Derek and wants so badly to impress him by telling him she’s transgender. How she claims that she hasn’t let her friends at school influence her, yet literally just based her decision to break up with Gretchen around what she thought Derek would do, and even continued to hang onto his every word and basically said, ‘Wait, that’s NOT what you would do?’ (Oh my god, Toni, make your own damn decisions!) And then when Derek called Nance his best friend, Toni just couldn’t handle it:
“Wait. Best friend? Nance is Derek’s best friend? What does that make me?”
Dear lord, are we in elementary school now?! -__-
I’m sure there are things I’ve left out in this review, but basically this novel had so many irritating characters in it who were either severely ignorant, transphobic, misogynistic, biphobic, or marginalizing toward non-binary people, despite the fact that this novel should be queer-friendly, which I don't think it is. It doesn't give proper representation to those who are truly genderqueer, and there are just so many other problematic things about this book that I couldn't stand. I don't even feel like putting this under my "queer lit" shelf because I don't feel that it's a good queer book. And I just looked up the author, who is apparently cisgender and who writes queer books outside her own experience. So, this is a very good example of how sometimes, cis-people just shouldn't write queer books.
