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2.82 AVERAGE
2.82 AVERAGE
I'm gonna have some more detailed thoughts on this later, because I really liked a lot of what this book was dealing with, but there were SO many points that made me cringe and all I could think was yikes.
Ok, mixed feelings about yet another Robin Talley book. There are three things going on here: (1) Toni's exploration of gender, (2) Toni & Gretchen's relationship, and (3) Gretchen’s response to Toni's evolving identity and, more importantly, her figuring out her own.
[b:What We Left Behind|22082075|What We Left Behind|Robin Talley|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1434560215s/22082075.jpg|41420105] is overwhelmingly about (1). T’s every thought about their gender is spelled out ten different ways at every opportune juncture, which, fine, if you asked me to commit my own thoughts about the same onto paper, you'd probably get something very similar. But I won't! Because it wouldn't make for very compelling reading. There is little else going on with T's character except they're Ivy-smart and into politics, which, as you may be aware, is of course an exceedingly unique quirk in the hallowed halls of Harvard. /s
Still, there is value in having it all laid out, especially when we're still hard-pressed for good YA narratives about figuring out your gender. The book goes into so much detail about T's thoughts and journey that it verges on Gender 101 — and this is where it gets sticky.
A lot of criticism of this book has been about its representation of genderqueerness, which I both agree and disagree with. On one hand, T does repeatedly misunderstand or misrepresent various trans/NB identities, not all of which is satisfactorily resolved within these 400-odd pages. (I appreciate the role of (some of) their friends in calling out (some of) their bullshit.) On the other, so do all of us! That's how people learn and figure out their own deal, right, they test pronouns and labels and ideas and identities. T's concept of gender — both their own and in the abstract — is constantly evolving and they're not always gonna get it right, but I can't fault that as a portrayal of someone's queer adolescence, especially during actual adolescence.
The other popular line of criticism is that T does say some capital-P Problematic shit about women and other trans/NB folks and doesn't always get held accountable for it, but I found this entirely consistent with their character (and surrounding communities, for that matter) — who among us hasn't encountered, if not been, a douchey masc queer? Carroll is also trash, but again, entirely believable trash. There's always a Carroll in your first year of uni.
There's so little genderqueer representation in lit/media that it's fully understandable to be angry when a character is not 100% Right and Good and Relatable, especially when that character is not written by a trans person. But T's story needs to be read as a genderqueer story, not the genderqueer story. (Tbh it's reductive even to think of it as a genderqueer story, and I don't think the book really claims it as such.) T is a problematic person, but I don't think actually a problematic character.
(2) is what I thought would drive the story, but the book skips over most of what's good about their relationship (whirlwind romance on the dance floor!) in favour of shining a light on their doubts and insecurities when their circumstances change, i.e. high school —> college. Not necessarily a bad thing in a book that is about Difficult Things, but it did make it hard for me to root for the relationship from the start. To Talley's credit though I think the development of this relationship was miles ahead of the one in [b:Lies We Tell Ourselves|20579291|Lies We Tell Ourselves|Robin Talley|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1396886699s/20579291.jpg|21561215]. T is self-centred af and G is a pushover, but at least they're aware of it... kinda.
(3) is what I really, really wish I saw more of. There was a lot less page-time devoted to G's story (I haven't verified if this is empirically true but it sure felt like it) but it felt like there was a lot more happening, probably because well, stuff was actually happening, instead of endless dialogues/monologues about gender. Without being spoilery G does something that TOTALLY would've made me angry years ago when I was in need of 100% perfect lesbian representation — ok I'm not gonna lie, it still kinda made me angry this time round and almost made me stop reading —but I think it was dealt with quite well. Learning to be a person independent of another person with whom you are in a relationship is so so important and I wish there had been more of this.
Slightly outside of the main themes of the book there is one scene that made me particularly annoyed and I feel like it would be remiss for me to not mention it, so **here be spoilers (but not v important ones imo)**: T's friend Nance treats their group of friends to a fancy-ass dinner because she got an internship at an investment bank. A waitress refers to them as "ladies," which understandably leaves them sore since being misgendered is never a fun experience. But then Nance flips out at the waitress and yo, that is totally uncool and it's extra bad when the book celebrates it as a hero moment. Honestly there is probably nothing better that characterises the elite mainstream LGBTQ movement (remember: Harvard) than taking it out on a Bad, Uneducated Straight — this service worker who made an honest mistake, and whose immediate fear is the loss of her wages — while celebrating your induction into the top echelons of capitalism as a Good, Enlightened Gay. G-d, this made me want to punch something. It still does.
[b:What We Left Behind|22082075|What We Left Behind|Robin Talley|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1434560215s/22082075.jpg|41420105] is overwhelmingly about (1). T’s every thought about their gender is spelled out ten different ways at every opportune juncture, which, fine, if you asked me to commit my own thoughts about the same onto paper, you'd probably get something very similar. But I won't! Because it wouldn't make for very compelling reading. There is little else going on with T's character except they're Ivy-smart and into politics, which, as you may be aware, is of course an exceedingly unique quirk in the hallowed halls of Harvard. /s
Still, there is value in having it all laid out, especially when we're still hard-pressed for good YA narratives about figuring out your gender. The book goes into so much detail about T's thoughts and journey that it verges on Gender 101 — and this is where it gets sticky.
A lot of criticism of this book has been about its representation of genderqueerness, which I both agree and disagree with. On one hand, T does repeatedly misunderstand or misrepresent various trans/NB identities, not all of which is satisfactorily resolved within these 400-odd pages. (I appreciate the role of (some of) their friends in calling out (some of) their bullshit.) On the other, so do all of us! That's how people learn and figure out their own deal, right, they test pronouns and labels and ideas and identities. T's concept of gender — both their own and in the abstract — is constantly evolving and they're not always gonna get it right, but I can't fault that as a portrayal of someone's queer adolescence, especially during actual adolescence.
The other popular line of criticism is that T does say some capital-P Problematic shit about women and other trans/NB folks and doesn't always get held accountable for it, but I found this entirely consistent with their character (and surrounding communities, for that matter) — who among us hasn't encountered, if not been, a douchey masc queer? Carroll is also trash, but again, entirely believable trash. There's always a Carroll in your first year of uni.
There's so little genderqueer representation in lit/media that it's fully understandable to be angry when a character is not 100% Right and Good and Relatable, especially when that character is not written by a trans person. But T's story needs to be read as a genderqueer story, not the genderqueer story. (Tbh it's reductive even to think of it as a genderqueer story, and I don't think the book really claims it as such.) T is a problematic person, but I don't think actually a problematic character.
(2) is what I thought would drive the story, but the book skips over most of what's good about their relationship (whirlwind romance on the dance floor!) in favour of shining a light on their doubts and insecurities when their circumstances change, i.e. high school —> college. Not necessarily a bad thing in a book that is about Difficult Things, but it did make it hard for me to root for the relationship from the start. To Talley's credit though I think the development of this relationship was miles ahead of the one in [b:Lies We Tell Ourselves|20579291|Lies We Tell Ourselves|Robin Talley|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1396886699s/20579291.jpg|21561215]. T is self-centred af and G is a pushover, but at least they're aware of it... kinda.
(3) is what I really, really wish I saw more of. There was a lot less page-time devoted to G's story (I haven't verified if this is empirically true but it sure felt like it) but it felt like there was a lot more happening, probably because well, stuff was actually happening, instead of endless dialogues/monologues about gender. Without being spoilery G does something that TOTALLY would've made me angry years ago when I was in need of 100% perfect lesbian representation — ok I'm not gonna lie, it still kinda made me angry this time round and almost made me stop reading —but I think it was dealt with quite well. Learning to be a person independent of another person with whom you are in a relationship is so so important and I wish there had been more of this.
Slightly outside of the main themes of the book there is one scene that made me particularly annoyed and I feel like it would be remiss for me to not mention it, so **here be spoilers (but not v important ones imo)**: T's friend Nance treats their group of friends to a fancy-ass dinner because she got an internship at an investment bank. A waitress refers to them as "ladies," which understandably leaves them sore since being misgendered is never a fun experience. But then Nance flips out at the waitress and yo, that is totally uncool and it's extra bad when the book celebrates it as a hero moment. Honestly there is probably nothing better that characterises the elite mainstream LGBTQ movement (remember: Harvard) than taking it out on a Bad, Uneducated Straight — this service worker who made an honest mistake, and whose immediate fear is the loss of her wages — while celebrating your induction into the top echelons of capitalism as a Good, Enlightened Gay. G-d, this made me want to punch something. It still does.
"What We Left Behind" is a book that deals with the very serious subject of teen sexuality and gender identity. In this book, we meet Tony and Gretchen, two girls who are on their way to college. At the point in time in which we meet them, they are seniors in high school and Tony is just beginning to discover that she may be transgender. She is unsure how to cope with this and she is unsure if Gretchen will still want to be with her.
This is definitely a heavy topic but I think books like this are so important. I think a lot of times books that have huge issues that they're tackling like transgender identity can be really daunting for the author to pull off. The author has a job in both informing and entertaining and it's a huge task. In this book, I thought that the author did a really good job at bringing both information and fiction together to make a really good story.
The relationship in the book between Gretchen and Toni was so well written. You have two characters that you get to know very well and the author has a great way of giving us a glimpse at the complexity of the relationship and how it changes once they both go to college. It was so interesting to see the way that the author was able to take a topic like this and turn it into a great book. I think diverse books are really important for everyone, but they may be most important for young adults who are confronting so many different issues. Books are a great way to introduce the topic and to get people to start thinking about different issues regardless of how old they are. I'm looking forward to reading more by this author in the future. This is a powerful story and I would actually love to see a sequel!
This is definitely a heavy topic but I think books like this are so important. I think a lot of times books that have huge issues that they're tackling like transgender identity can be really daunting for the author to pull off. The author has a job in both informing and entertaining and it's a huge task. In this book, I thought that the author did a really good job at bringing both information and fiction together to make a really good story.
The relationship in the book between Gretchen and Toni was so well written. You have two characters that you get to know very well and the author has a great way of giving us a glimpse at the complexity of the relationship and how it changes once they both go to college. It was so interesting to see the way that the author was able to take a topic like this and turn it into a great book. I think diverse books are really important for everyone, but they may be most important for young adults who are confronting so many different issues. Books are a great way to introduce the topic and to get people to start thinking about different issues regardless of how old they are. I'm looking forward to reading more by this author in the future. This is a powerful story and I would actually love to see a sequel!
An exploration into sexual identity, labels, understanding one's self, independence, and relationships-- both platonic and romantic. There is a big emphasis on trans/gender nonconforming self-discovery that I've never witnessed in a book. It is an enlightening read in regards to self-analysis as an individual and in regards to male/female-ness (both biological and societal). The book is interrelationship-heavy as opposed to plot-heavy.
Read this review and more on my blog!
I received an eARC of What We Left Behind from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review - thanks to MIRAInk and NetGalley for letting me read this book early!
Check out my review of Robin Talley's debut, Lies We Tell Ourselves, here.
Last month I read Robin Talley's debut novel, Lies We Tell Ourselves, and with her third novel, As I Descended, being one of my most anticipated reads of 2016, I think it's safe to say that Talley is an author I've been keeping my eye on, so I was thrilled when my request to receive an eARC was approved.
Sadly, I didn't love this one. In fact I struggled to finish it.
Something that really excited me about this book is the inclusion of a genderqueer protagonist. Before now I hadn't read a single book with a protagonist who identified as genderqueer, and it's so important that people who identify as such are given a voice in literature just as much as any other member of the LGBT+ community. Now the first thing I must say is that I am cisgender and, as such, my reading experience with this book is probably very different to someone who identifies as genderqueer - in other words, people who identify as genderqueer will know a lot more about the representation of gender fluidity than I do, so please keep that in mind when reading my review. If you identify as genderqueer and haven't read this book yet, it could be that my opinion of it doesn't help you to decide whether you should read it or not. Okay? Okay.
There is a lot of discussion about sexuality and gender in this book. I love that. Sexuality and gender need to be discussed more, and lately, in YA in particular, I've seen a lot of LGBT+ representation, which I think is fantastic. Having said that, there were times when this novel felt more like a piece of non-fiction; it was as though Talley was simply using Tony (I will be using 'Tony' and 'he/his' pronouns throughout this review) as a puppet through which she could discuss all the thoughts about gender that are bopping about in her brain.
I'm sorry to say that Tony got on my nerves, too. He doesn't have a great home life, and for that I completely sympathised with him, but there were times when he was just so selfish. It's important for us to have stories like this one about people who are trying to figure themselves out - I think we spend our whole lives constructing and deconstructing ourselves - but Tony is so concerned with his own self-discovery that he forgets the people around him are people with their own hopes, dreams and fears. He assumes Gretchen is just going to follow him everywhere and do whatever he wants, and yet he refuses to explain his worries to her because he doesn't think she'll understand. Then he accuses her of not understanding. I also didn't appreciate his jealous streak, or his pretentiousness; at first he doesn't like to use gendered pronouns, which is totally his call to make, but he never considers how not using pronouns for other people might make them feel. Some people feel uncomfortable when gendered pronouns aren't used for them, and it's hypocritical of Tony to demand something for himself he's not willing to do for others.
I wasn't keen on Tony's thoughts concerning heterosexual women, either; two of his roommates are pretty horrible, but he thinks they don't count as feminists simply because they like to 'conform to gender stereotypes'. It was almost as thought anyone outside the LGBT+ community wasn't worth his time, and I didn't like that.
The person I hated most in this novel, though, was Gretchen's 'best friend' Carroll. Despite being a gay man from a very homophobic background, and therefore knowing what it was like to feel belittled and anxious because of his sexuality, he was incredibly rude to other members of the LGBT+ community. He was particularly rude to Gretchen when talking about Tony - the guy had some serious transphobia going on and it really bugged me that Gretchen never told him where he could shove his frankly disgusting opinions. I spent most of the novel hoping he'd get hit by a bus.
I appreciate what Talley was trying to do with this story, I just didn't feel it; it didn't move me in the same way Lies We Tell Ourselves did, and I wasn't too keen on the insinuation throughout the novel that people who identify as genderqueer simply haven't decided whether they're male, female or non-binary yet. It's almost like saying that someone who is bisexual hasn't decided if they're gay or straight yet. I don't think that is Talley's view - and one thing I did appreciate is that neither of her protagonists are perfect, not by a long-shot - but it still came across that way and it made me uncomfortable.
So I didn't love this, and I'm disappointed that I didn't love this, but I'm still looking forward to reading more of Talley's work, because I think we need more authors like her who are willing to tackle subjects like this one.
I'm going to leave a link to Layla @ The Midnight Garden's review here, because she felt very similarly to me about the book and managed to phrase everything far more eloquently than I have!
I received an eARC of What We Left Behind from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review - thanks to MIRAInk and NetGalley for letting me read this book early!
Check out my review of Robin Talley's debut, Lies We Tell Ourselves, here.
Last month I read Robin Talley's debut novel, Lies We Tell Ourselves, and with her third novel, As I Descended, being one of my most anticipated reads of 2016, I think it's safe to say that Talley is an author I've been keeping my eye on, so I was thrilled when my request to receive an eARC was approved.
Sadly, I didn't love this one. In fact I struggled to finish it.
Something that really excited me about this book is the inclusion of a genderqueer protagonist. Before now I hadn't read a single book with a protagonist who identified as genderqueer, and it's so important that people who identify as such are given a voice in literature just as much as any other member of the LGBT+ community. Now the first thing I must say is that I am cisgender and, as such, my reading experience with this book is probably very different to someone who identifies as genderqueer - in other words, people who identify as genderqueer will know a lot more about the representation of gender fluidity than I do, so please keep that in mind when reading my review. If you identify as genderqueer and haven't read this book yet, it could be that my opinion of it doesn't help you to decide whether you should read it or not. Okay? Okay.
There is a lot of discussion about sexuality and gender in this book. I love that. Sexuality and gender need to be discussed more, and lately, in YA in particular, I've seen a lot of LGBT+ representation, which I think is fantastic. Having said that, there were times when this novel felt more like a piece of non-fiction; it was as though Talley was simply using Tony (I will be using 'Tony' and 'he/his' pronouns throughout this review) as a puppet through which she could discuss all the thoughts about gender that are bopping about in her brain.
I'm sorry to say that Tony got on my nerves, too. He doesn't have a great home life, and for that I completely sympathised with him, but there were times when he was just so selfish. It's important for us to have stories like this one about people who are trying to figure themselves out - I think we spend our whole lives constructing and deconstructing ourselves - but Tony is so concerned with his own self-discovery that he forgets the people around him are people with their own hopes, dreams and fears. He assumes Gretchen is just going to follow him everywhere and do whatever he wants, and yet he refuses to explain his worries to her because he doesn't think she'll understand. Then he accuses her of not understanding. I also didn't appreciate his jealous streak, or his pretentiousness; at first he doesn't like to use gendered pronouns, which is totally his call to make, but he never considers how not using pronouns for other people might make them feel. Some people feel uncomfortable when gendered pronouns aren't used for them, and it's hypocritical of Tony to demand something for himself he's not willing to do for others.
I wasn't keen on Tony's thoughts concerning heterosexual women, either; two of his roommates are pretty horrible, but he thinks they don't count as feminists simply because they like to 'conform to gender stereotypes'. It was almost as thought anyone outside the LGBT+ community wasn't worth his time, and I didn't like that.
The person I hated most in this novel, though, was Gretchen's 'best friend' Carroll. Despite being a gay man from a very homophobic background, and therefore knowing what it was like to feel belittled and anxious because of his sexuality, he was incredibly rude to other members of the LGBT+ community. He was particularly rude to Gretchen when talking about Tony - the guy had some serious transphobia going on and it really bugged me that Gretchen never told him where he could shove his frankly disgusting opinions. I spent most of the novel hoping he'd get hit by a bus.
I appreciate what Talley was trying to do with this story, I just didn't feel it; it didn't move me in the same way Lies We Tell Ourselves did, and I wasn't too keen on the insinuation throughout the novel that people who identify as genderqueer simply haven't decided whether they're male, female or non-binary yet. It's almost like saying that someone who is bisexual hasn't decided if they're gay or straight yet. I don't think that is Talley's view - and one thing I did appreciate is that neither of her protagonists are perfect, not by a long-shot - but it still came across that way and it made me uncomfortable.
So I didn't love this, and I'm disappointed that I didn't love this, but I'm still looking forward to reading more of Talley's work, because I think we need more authors like her who are willing to tackle subjects like this one.
I'm going to leave a link to Layla @ The Midnight Garden's review here, because she felt very similarly to me about the book and managed to phrase everything far more eloquently than I have!
Around 1.3 the way in I was so concerned and offended that I ended up checking Goodreads to see what the verdict was. I then returned it to the Kindle store. The genderqueer representation was horrific, and many of the characters were extremely misogynistic.
I gave LIES WE TELL OURSELVES a rating of 5 stars, so I’ve been very excited to read Talley’s second novel.
I’ve never read a book so completely queer as this one. There’s barely a single straight character, and the novel is utterly unapologetic about it. Toni and Gretchen are the perfect modern LGBT couple - whose relationship problems have nothing to do with coming out, and is instead just about finding their balance with each other as people.
There is a lot of educational value in this book - Gretchen learns about transgender and genderqueer terminology, as she is very worried about getting things Wrong, and tries hard to make sure she is respectful to Toni. This is a perspective I think a lot of readers will relate to.
This is a very character based read - the plot is entirely based around Toni and Gretchen, and their long term, long distance relationship as their first year of university progresses.
Reading this book feels like you’re reading something that should have been written long ago. It has filled a much needed gap, and I hope it opens up the YA genre to build more diverse LGBT stories in the future.
Originally posted at http://lgbt-ya.tumblr.com/post/132877024588/
I’ve never read a book so completely queer as this one. There’s barely a single straight character, and the novel is utterly unapologetic about it. Toni and Gretchen are the perfect modern LGBT couple - whose relationship problems have nothing to do with coming out, and is instead just about finding their balance with each other as people.
There is a lot of educational value in this book - Gretchen learns about transgender and genderqueer terminology, as she is very worried about getting things Wrong, and tries hard to make sure she is respectful to Toni. This is a perspective I think a lot of readers will relate to.
This is a very character based read - the plot is entirely based around Toni and Gretchen, and their long term, long distance relationship as their first year of university progresses.
Reading this book feels like you’re reading something that should have been written long ago. It has filled a much needed gap, and I hope it opens up the YA genre to build more diverse LGBT stories in the future.
Originally posted at http://lgbt-ya.tumblr.com/post/132877024588/
With What We Left Behind, I’ve finally finished/DNFed every single book I picked up during BEA week last year. It only took a year. But hey, it’s still an accomplishment. What We Left Behind was one of the books I was most excited to acquire but then I accidentally ended up shuffling it to the bottom of the stack. Then, color me surprised to discover when I went to mark this currently reading on GR and I saw that the reviews were terrible. Well, I really liked this one, but I think it’s important that you go in with the right expectations, so heads up this review WILL HAVE UNTAGGED SPOILERS, because this is one of those cases where I think it might help. Also, I want to discuss things.
Having read this book now, I actually really understand the negative reviews, but I think it’s more a problem with marketing than it is with the book itself. There’s not a huge range of LGBT+ titles available, and What We Left Behind is the first I’ve encountered with a genderqueer protagonist. It’s right there in the blurb: “Toni, who identifies as genderqueer.” Obviously, I was excited to read about a genderqueer protagonist so I could learn more about that, because my knowledge is lacking.
Here’s the first thing that you need to be prepared for when coming to What We Left Behind: Toni does identify as genderqueer, but What We Left Behind isn’t necessarily about being genderqueer. If I had to categorize the LGBT+ experience in this novel, I’d say it’s more one of questioning, though that’s not the label that Toni has chosen for herself at any point in the novel. To be clear, I’m totally happy for Toni to choose her own labels, but, from a marketing perspective, the reader’s told to expect genderqueer, but the novel is actually about Toni trying to figure out which label fits her, and it might not be genderqueer. I mention questioning not to try to force a label onto Toni but because I think that, as a reader, her journey works better if you don’t expect her to know what exactly her gender identity is yet.
Another thing that you need to be prepared for: there’s a lot of really uncomfortable stuff in What We Left Behind. By doing a dual POV with Gretchen and Toni, Talley shows what this search for Toni’s identity is like from both sides of the relationship. Gretchen doesn’t really understand Toni’s search or gender identity, and she definitely thinks and says some less than supportive stuff, though she’s always trying. Her friend, Carroll, however spouts constant transphobic stuff along with other hate speech. He’s not meant to be a likable character in the end, but it really shocked me. I’m not sure if his role really added to the story for me, honestly, but I get what he was meant to do.
I really liked Lies We Tell Ourselves but I didn’t really feel the characterization that much, but I think Talley really does a great job with this dual POV. Gretchen and Toni have very different voices, and they felt real to me. What We Left Behind is the evolution of their relationship as they go off to college. They go from being the perfect high school couple to slowly fracturing in college. One thing I love about What We Left Behind is that things don’t actually fall apart because of Toni’s evolving gender identity, though that does highlight the cracks.
In high school, Gretchen and Toni dated for two years without every fighting. Seriously, they didn’t fight at all. They thought that was a sign of how perfect they were for each other, but the course of the book shows how unhealthy that was for them. It’s not like they never got annoyed at each other; they just repressed that stuff so they wouldn’t fight. Part of why Gretchen doesn’t understand Toni’s gender identity is because Toni never told Gretchen much and Gretchen feared they would fight if she asked stupid questions about it. Their long distance relationship starts out poorly because Gretchen had kept secret the fact that she was going to NYU instead of Boston University because she was afraid to fight with Toni, who had planned on them being in the same city. Couples are going to fight and repressing problems like these two always did made fixable issues irreparable fractures.
Almost all of the cast of What We Left Behind is diverse, either racially or in terms of sexuality/gender identity. White cis het individuals are hard to find, and it’s awesome. Falling in with a group consisting mostly of transgender boys really throws Toni into a search for gender identity. There’s definitely some encouragement for Toni to begin transitioning to male, but Toni’s not sure if that’s actually the right path. In some ways, I see the criticism that it seems as though What We Left Behind is making it seem as if genderqueer is a stop on the way to transgender, but I felt like it was pretty clear that those are not the same thing. Toni’s just not sure yet which one fits better. I was actually pretty anxious that Toni would rush into something before actually making a decision. Toni very much is the kind of person who wants a clear solution to everything, so he (which I use because Toni accepts masculine pronouns as of the end of the book) is constantly trying to hurry to a solution for his own sexuality. It’s very much a journey, and it’s not over at the end of the novel.
Whatever your thoughts on how well Talley pulled off What We Left Behind, I think it’s a really excellent novel for discussions. If you’ve read it, I’d love to talk about it in the comments.
Having read this book now, I actually really understand the negative reviews, but I think it’s more a problem with marketing than it is with the book itself. There’s not a huge range of LGBT+ titles available, and What We Left Behind is the first I’ve encountered with a genderqueer protagonist. It’s right there in the blurb: “Toni, who identifies as genderqueer.” Obviously, I was excited to read about a genderqueer protagonist so I could learn more about that, because my knowledge is lacking.
Here’s the first thing that you need to be prepared for when coming to What We Left Behind: Toni does identify as genderqueer, but What We Left Behind isn’t necessarily about being genderqueer. If I had to categorize the LGBT+ experience in this novel, I’d say it’s more one of questioning, though that’s not the label that Toni has chosen for herself at any point in the novel. To be clear, I’m totally happy for Toni to choose her own labels, but, from a marketing perspective, the reader’s told to expect genderqueer, but the novel is actually about Toni trying to figure out which label fits her, and it might not be genderqueer. I mention questioning not to try to force a label onto Toni but because I think that, as a reader, her journey works better if you don’t expect her to know what exactly her gender identity is yet.
Another thing that you need to be prepared for: there’s a lot of really uncomfortable stuff in What We Left Behind. By doing a dual POV with Gretchen and Toni, Talley shows what this search for Toni’s identity is like from both sides of the relationship. Gretchen doesn’t really understand Toni’s search or gender identity, and she definitely thinks and says some less than supportive stuff, though she’s always trying. Her friend, Carroll, however spouts constant transphobic stuff along with other hate speech. He’s not meant to be a likable character in the end, but it really shocked me. I’m not sure if his role really added to the story for me, honestly, but I get what he was meant to do.
I really liked Lies We Tell Ourselves but I didn’t really feel the characterization that much, but I think Talley really does a great job with this dual POV. Gretchen and Toni have very different voices, and they felt real to me. What We Left Behind is the evolution of their relationship as they go off to college. They go from being the perfect high school couple to slowly fracturing in college. One thing I love about What We Left Behind is that things don’t actually fall apart because of Toni’s evolving gender identity, though that does highlight the cracks.
In high school, Gretchen and Toni dated for two years without every fighting. Seriously, they didn’t fight at all. They thought that was a sign of how perfect they were for each other, but the course of the book shows how unhealthy that was for them. It’s not like they never got annoyed at each other; they just repressed that stuff so they wouldn’t fight. Part of why Gretchen doesn’t understand Toni’s gender identity is because Toni never told Gretchen much and Gretchen feared they would fight if she asked stupid questions about it. Their long distance relationship starts out poorly because Gretchen had kept secret the fact that she was going to NYU instead of Boston University because she was afraid to fight with Toni, who had planned on them being in the same city. Couples are going to fight and repressing problems like these two always did made fixable issues irreparable fractures.
Almost all of the cast of What We Left Behind is diverse, either racially or in terms of sexuality/gender identity. White cis het individuals are hard to find, and it’s awesome. Falling in with a group consisting mostly of transgender boys really throws Toni into a search for gender identity. There’s definitely some encouragement for Toni to begin transitioning to male, but Toni’s not sure if that’s actually the right path. In some ways, I see the criticism that it seems as though What We Left Behind is making it seem as if genderqueer is a stop on the way to transgender, but I felt like it was pretty clear that those are not the same thing. Toni’s just not sure yet which one fits better. I was actually pretty anxious that Toni would rush into something before actually making a decision. Toni very much is the kind of person who wants a clear solution to everything, so he (which I use because Toni accepts masculine pronouns as of the end of the book) is constantly trying to hurry to a solution for his own sexuality. It’s very much a journey, and it’s not over at the end of the novel.
Whatever your thoughts on how well Talley pulled off What We Left Behind, I think it’s a really excellent novel for discussions. If you’ve read it, I’d love to talk about it in the comments.