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Described as “Chilling, potent and intensely intimate, This is How You Remember It is at once a cautionary tale, a call to arms and a tender love story. It is about a life lived online, and about finding another way, when it’s all you’ve ever known.”
It brings us through the mind of a young girl from age 9 to early twenties. It’s scary to realise what teenagers can go through today. A thoroughly engaging read.
It brings us through the mind of a young girl from age 9 to early twenties. It’s scary to realise what teenagers can go through today. A thoroughly engaging read.
dark
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
challenging
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This book is about an unnamed female character who we follow from childhood to the early years of her 20s. The story centres on the dangers of the internet, with a particular focus on pornography, comparing yourself to others, pretending to be someone else, fake friendships, taking and sending nudes, first relationships and much more. Family dynamics/relationships and the effects of adults on children are also highlighted.
We experience all of this through the eyes of the protagonist. The second-person narrative makes it easy for the reader to empathise with the protagonist.
In the first half of the book, the focus is on the younger years (9-17). It tells how the protagonist has her first access to a laptop and later a mobile phone. She plays children’s games and is already active in chat rooms, where she encounters the question of „how can I really know who is hiding behind the username“, but also that you can pretend to be someone completely different yourself. Later, they come across pornography for the first time and spend a lot of time on sketchy websites and chat rooms.
Female friendships are also heavily explored, with jealousy, pretending, ostracising, exposing and more. It becomes clear that the protagonist does not feel comfortable in her body and with herself. This has an impact on her friendships, which are complicated and toxic. She gradually builds up a fake world on social media in which she presents herself as she wants to be perceived by others.
She experiences some bad things that have a strong impact on her mental state and her self-perception.
In the second half, the focus is on getting older and her time at university. Her childhood friend plays a central role here, as he is the only one who has always seen her as she really is and not as she has presented herself to the outside world. She makes her first true friendship and learns again what it means to be herself. In addition, the focus is now more on the effects of internet use from her younger years on her adulthood. This book (unfortunately) reminded me a lot of my own youth in many places, which is why I had to keep taking breaks, especially in the first half, to process everything. I think the book is well written, even if it took me a while to get used to the perspective from which the story is told. I think it's great how well you can empathise with the protagonist and understand her suffering. I found the first half a lot better than the second, but the whole book was still very good!
I would recommend it to anyone who had bad experiences on the internet or with friendships at a young age, but with the caution that things may come up that you may have completely suppressed.
I think that this story will stay with me for a long time.
We experience all of this through the eyes of the protagonist. The second-person narrative makes it easy for the reader to empathise with the protagonist.
In the first half of the book, the focus is on the younger years (9-17). It tells how the protagonist has her first access to a laptop and later a mobile phone. She plays children’s games and is already active in chat rooms, where she encounters the question of „how can I really know who is hiding behind the username“, but also that you can pretend to be someone completely different yourself. Later, they come across pornography for the first time and spend a lot of time on sketchy websites and chat rooms.
Female friendships are also heavily explored, with jealousy, pretending, ostracising, exposing and more. It becomes clear that the protagonist does not feel comfortable in her body and with herself. This has an impact on her friendships, which are complicated and toxic. She gradually builds up a fake world on social media in which she presents herself as she wants to be perceived by others.
She experiences some bad things that have a strong impact on her mental state and her self-perception.
In the second half, the focus is on getting older and her time at university. Her childhood friend plays a central role here, as he is the only one who has always seen her as she really is and not as she has presented herself to the outside world. She makes her first true friendship and learns again what it means to be herself. In addition, the focus is now more on the effects of internet use from her younger years on her adulthood. This book (unfortunately) reminded me a lot of my own youth in many places, which is why I had to keep taking breaks, especially in the first half, to process everything. I think the book is well written, even if it took me a while to get used to the perspective from which the story is told. I think it's great how well you can empathise with the protagonist and understand her suffering. I found the first half a lot better than the second, but the whole book was still very good!
I would recommend it to anyone who had bad experiences on the internet or with friendships at a young age, but with the caution that things may come up that you may have completely suppressed.
I think that this story will stay with me for a long time.
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
dark
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
a cross between lolita, my dark vanessa and boy parts, TIHYRI is one of the most vital books i have ever read. staggeringly honest and raw, it was viscerally uncomfortable at times, and the second person narrative was fascinating. i found the end a little ‘quick fix’ - surely the narrator’s trauma would run too deep for that, and ironically it perpatrates the idea that a ‘nice man can fix everything’. nevertheless, this was a sickening read, as it captures the voyeuristic social nature of being a teenager. really, really important. every teen should read this book
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
genuinely one of the best books i’ve read in a while. beautifully written and captures such an overlooked story also for more heartbreak listen to ignore tenderness by julia jacklin either while reading or when you’ve finished
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes