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mogffm3's review against another edition
4.0
I really enjoyed this book.
As an awkward person, now raising 3 awkward offspring, LOL, it's just a book that I can relate too. I almost didn't read it after I read some poor to OK reviews on here -- but I am glad I picked it up.
I appreciate how the author acknowledges that ASD and other mental health disorders are categorical, but even if people don't check all the boxes to fit neatly in the category, they can still exhibit behaviors that can lead to awkward social situations.
I also found it a pretty quick and funny listen too.
As an awkward person, now raising 3 awkward offspring, LOL, it's just a book that I can relate too. I almost didn't read it after I read some poor to OK reviews on here -- but I am glad I picked it up.
I appreciate how the author acknowledges that ASD and other mental health disorders are categorical, but even if people don't check all the boxes to fit neatly in the category, they can still exhibit behaviors that can lead to awkward social situations.
I also found it a pretty quick and funny listen too.
kenzee06's review against another edition
2.0
*I won this in a GoodReads Giveaway*
2.5 stars.
While mostly well written, this book wasn't a hit for me. The first section could've been trimmed in half. It felt like the author repeated the same exact thing over and over and over. Awkward people have a narrow focus. Got it. No need to repeat in several different ways, several different times. I also thought the book ended in a rather odd way - almost abrupt?
I did think the section section - This is Getting Awkward - was considerably more interesting. It had a few points too about how to nurture an awkward child that I thought had potential and could be useful for parents.
2.5 stars.
While mostly well written, this book wasn't a hit for me. The first section could've been trimmed in half. It felt like the author repeated the same exact thing over and over and over. Awkward people have a narrow focus. Got it. No need to repeat in several different ways, several different times. I also thought the book ended in a rather odd way - almost abrupt?
I did think the section section - This is Getting Awkward - was considerably more interesting. It had a few points too about how to nurture an awkward child that I thought had potential and could be useful for parents.
mahir007's review against another edition
3.0
الحاجة إلى الانتماء
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في الحياة الواقعية ، كان الكثير من تاريخ البشرية يدور حول معركة يائسة من أجل البقاء. على الرغم من أن هذه الصورة للبقاء الهش تبدو بعيدة كل البعد عن الحياة الحديثة ، إلا أن أكثر من ثلث الوفيات في أوروبا الغربية في أوائل القرن التاسع عشر كانت بسبب عدم توفر المياه الصالحة للشرب ، وكان سوء التغذية أو الموت من الجوع أكثر من ذلك بكثير.
لآلاف السنين ، كان متوسط العمر المتوقع في جميع أنحاء العالم أقل من أربعين عامًا ، ولم يزد متوسط العمر المتوقع إلا في المائتي عام الماضية.
في الخمسينيات من القرن الماضي ، اقترح عالم النفس (أبراهام ماسلو) أن الدوافع البشرية يمكن تنظيمها في تسلسل هرمي للاحتياجات. اعتقد ماسلو أن الاحتياجات المادية مثل الطعام والماء كانت الأكثر أهمية ، في حين أن الاحتياجات الأخرى مثل الانتماء الاجتماعي واحترام الذات كانت ذات أهمية ثانوية.
لكن الأدلة الحديثة تحدت هذا الافتراض. في عام 1995 ، نشر عالما النفس الاجتماعي (روي بوميستر) و(مارك ليري) ورقة بعنوان "الحاجة الأساسية للانتماء" ، استعرضوا فيها مئات الدراسات المتعلقة بمكان اندفاع الانتماء الاجتماعي في التسلسل الهرمي للاحتياجات.
من خلال المراجعة ، وجدوا أن الدافع النفسي للبشر للحفاظ على عدد قليل من العلاقات الممتعة كان أساسيًا مثل الاحتياجات المادية مثل الطعام أو الماء. في بعض الحالات ، سيتخلى الناس عن فرص لتلبية احتياجاتهم المادية من أجل تلبية احتياجاتهم الاجتماعية.
للوهلة الأولى ، تبدو فكرة أن الحاجة إلى الانتماء أساسية مثل الاحتياجات المادية مثل الجوع أو العطش غير قابلة للتصديق. لكن لآلاف السنين ، عاش الناس في مجموعات من الصيادين والقطافين تضم أقل من خمسين شخصًا كانوا ملزمين بأهداف جماعية تتعلق بالبقاء.
كان الرهان التطوري الذي قام به البشر والحيوانات الاجتماعية الأخرى هو التضحية بمصالحهم الذاتية قصيرة الأجل والتعاون في طرق متفق عليها بشكل متبادل لجمع الطعام والمأوى والحماية.
تقوم المجموعات جيدة التنسيق بتقسيم العمل إلى واجبات متخصصة. كان بعض الناس يزرعون ، والبعض الآخر يصطادون ، بينما يقوم البعض الآخر بتربية الأطفال. بالنسبة لمهام مثل حصاد المحاصيل أو الدفاع ضد الغزاة المعادين ، يمكن للمجموعات أن تحول الناس إلى هذه المهام الحساسة ، والتي زادت بشكل كبير من الموارد والحماية الممنوحة لكل فرد وحسنت فرص جميع الأعضاء في البقاء على قيد الحياة.
تم تعزيز مزايا البقاء التي يمنحها الموقف التعاوني من خلال الآليات النفسية التي تعمل على تحفيزنا على تكوين علاقات مرضية متبادلة. مثل شرب الماء عندما نشعر بالعطش أو تناول وجبة جيدة عندما نشعر بالجوع ، و أيضاً عندما نشبع حاجتنا للانتماء ، فإننا نشعر بفيض من المشاعر الإيجابية.
أمضى (إد دينر) من جامعة إلينوي أكثر من ثلاثة عقود في دراسة السعادة. وجد دينر وآخرون أن أقوى مؤشر على السعادة ليس وظيفتنا أو دخلنا أو تحقيق أهدافنا المتعلقة باللياقة البدنية ، بل بالأحرى وجود علاقات اجتماعية مرضية. وجد دينر أيضًا أنه حتى في الدول الغنية ، حيث يكون الغذاء أكثر وفرة ويتضاعف متوسط العمر المتوقع تقريبًا ، لا تزال هناك فوائد كبيرة مرتبطة بالشعور بالانتماء. يتمتع الأشخاص الذين لديهم علاقات شخصية مرضية ، بصحة بدنية أفضل وعمر متوقع أطول.
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المصدر : كتاب Awkward
ترجمة ماهر رزوق
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.
في الحياة الواقعية ، كان الكثير من تاريخ البشرية يدور حول معركة يائسة من أجل البقاء. على الرغم من أن هذه الصورة للبقاء الهش تبدو بعيدة كل البعد عن الحياة الحديثة ، إلا أن أكثر من ثلث الوفيات في أوروبا الغربية في أوائل القرن التاسع عشر كانت بسبب عدم توفر المياه الصالحة للشرب ، وكان سوء التغذية أو الموت من الجوع أكثر من ذلك بكثير.
لآلاف السنين ، كان متوسط العمر المتوقع في جميع أنحاء العالم أقل من أربعين عامًا ، ولم يزد متوسط العمر المتوقع إلا في المائتي عام الماضية.
في الخمسينيات من القرن الماضي ، اقترح عالم النفس (أبراهام ماسلو) أن الدوافع البشرية يمكن تنظيمها في تسلسل هرمي للاحتياجات. اعتقد ماسلو أن الاحتياجات المادية مثل الطعام والماء كانت الأكثر أهمية ، في حين أن الاحتياجات الأخرى مثل الانتماء الاجتماعي واحترام الذات كانت ذات أهمية ثانوية.
لكن الأدلة الحديثة تحدت هذا الافتراض. في عام 1995 ، نشر عالما النفس الاجتماعي (روي بوميستر) و(مارك ليري) ورقة بعنوان "الحاجة الأساسية للانتماء" ، استعرضوا فيها مئات الدراسات المتعلقة بمكان اندفاع الانتماء الاجتماعي في التسلسل الهرمي للاحتياجات.
من خلال المراجعة ، وجدوا أن الدافع النفسي للبشر للحفاظ على عدد قليل من العلاقات الممتعة كان أساسيًا مثل الاحتياجات المادية مثل الطعام أو الماء. في بعض الحالات ، سيتخلى الناس عن فرص لتلبية احتياجاتهم المادية من أجل تلبية احتياجاتهم الاجتماعية.
للوهلة الأولى ، تبدو فكرة أن الحاجة إلى الانتماء أساسية مثل الاحتياجات المادية مثل الجوع أو العطش غير قابلة للتصديق. لكن لآلاف السنين ، عاش الناس في مجموعات من الصيادين والقطافين تضم أقل من خمسين شخصًا كانوا ملزمين بأهداف جماعية تتعلق بالبقاء.
كان الرهان التطوري الذي قام به البشر والحيوانات الاجتماعية الأخرى هو التضحية بمصالحهم الذاتية قصيرة الأجل والتعاون في طرق متفق عليها بشكل متبادل لجمع الطعام والمأوى والحماية.
تقوم المجموعات جيدة التنسيق بتقسيم العمل إلى واجبات متخصصة. كان بعض الناس يزرعون ، والبعض الآخر يصطادون ، بينما يقوم البعض الآخر بتربية الأطفال. بالنسبة لمهام مثل حصاد المحاصيل أو الدفاع ضد الغزاة المعادين ، يمكن للمجموعات أن تحول الناس إلى هذه المهام الحساسة ، والتي زادت بشكل كبير من الموارد والحماية الممنوحة لكل فرد وحسنت فرص جميع الأعضاء في البقاء على قيد الحياة.
تم تعزيز مزايا البقاء التي يمنحها الموقف التعاوني من خلال الآليات النفسية التي تعمل على تحفيزنا على تكوين علاقات مرضية متبادلة. مثل شرب الماء عندما نشعر بالعطش أو تناول وجبة جيدة عندما نشعر بالجوع ، و أيضاً عندما نشبع حاجتنا للانتماء ، فإننا نشعر بفيض من المشاعر الإيجابية.
أمضى (إد دينر) من جامعة إلينوي أكثر من ثلاثة عقود في دراسة السعادة. وجد دينر وآخرون أن أقوى مؤشر على السعادة ليس وظيفتنا أو دخلنا أو تحقيق أهدافنا المتعلقة باللياقة البدنية ، بل بالأحرى وجود علاقات اجتماعية مرضية. وجد دينر أيضًا أنه حتى في الدول الغنية ، حيث يكون الغذاء أكثر وفرة ويتضاعف متوسط العمر المتوقع تقريبًا ، لا تزال هناك فوائد كبيرة مرتبطة بالشعور بالانتماء. يتمتع الأشخاص الذين لديهم علاقات شخصية مرضية ، بصحة بدنية أفضل وعمر متوقع أطول.
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المصدر : كتاب Awkward
ترجمة ماهر رزوق
wescovington's review against another edition
3.0
There were some interesting anecdotes, but I don't know if I'm any closer to knowing the difference between the awkward and the shy. I think I'm more the former than the latter.
cpalisa's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting read about how "awkward" personalities perceive the world. Overall, really positive and informative with ideas about how to work on the typical social niceties but also how to embrace the awkward and how it can be such a positive trait as well. Good insight into the awkward people in my life :-)
readingwithhippos's review against another edition
4.0
I consider myself an awkward person. However, I am that rare awkward person who was blessed with a group of highly extroverted, gregarious friends growing up, whose constant slumber parties and note-passing created a beautiful social bubble that kept me in regular contact with humans and also disguised the fact that without them, I was shy and didn’t know how to talk to people. Perhaps it occurred to me to wonder why I was always in trouble for talking too much in classes I shared with my friends, yet turned into a silent mouse in classes with kids I didn’t know well, but at the time it didn’t seem that weird to have two personalities depending on who was around. Now I recognize that there exists a Taryn For Public Consumption, who you’ll find sitting shifty-eyed in the corner and fidgeting with a napkin, and then, like a Russian nesting doll, a bunch of other progressively bigger, louder, (I would argue) funnier, (and if I’m being honest) more emotional Taryns that you might encounter if you get to know me better.
Thanks to the friend bubble, I didn’t fully realize how awkward I was until college, when that friend group dispersed and I was on my own to build a new one. Let me tell you, it was a rude awakening. And nowadays when my awkwardness rears its head, it continues to surprise me, because most of my life I’ve perceived myself as a socially normal, if not terribly popular or trendy, person. Then I walk into a crowded wedding reception full of tables for eight with my (one) husband and panic about which six strangers we’re going to have to make small talk with, and I remember. Oh yeah. This is who I am. I was just blissfully unaware of it for 18 years.
So reading Ty Tashiro’s book was extremely helpful to me, because it validated a lot of things I’d wondered about myself but didn’t know how to put into words. I’ve known I am an introvert for a while now, but Tashiro points out that that label alone doesn’t fully explain everything about him, and it doesn’t explain everything about my experience, either. It’s not just that I crave time alone, it’s that when I am in a social situation, I don’t know how to comport myself. It’s possible to be introverted and still feel comfortable in social situations, but it’s also possible to be introverted and feel paralyzed by them. One doesn’t necessarily predict the other. That was a big revelation for me, and a comforting one, since I’ve read so many introvert thinkpieces claiming that “being introverted doesn’t mean I’m socially inept!” that left me wondering, “But what if I am?” If introversion didn’t explain my social hiccups, did that mean I was defective? According to Tashiro, nope, I’m just awkward. Somehow, that’s a lot easier to live with.
Tashiro also discusses the link between giftedness and awkwardness, and while he’s careful to acknowledge that not all gifted kids are awkward and not all awkward kids are gifted, there’s a higher prevalence of awkwardness among gifted kids than non-gifted kids. Which is a real duh moment if you’ve ever spent any time in a self-contained gifted program. I remember being totally flummoxed one time on a church trip after an interaction with one of the popular girls in my youth group. (Yes, there were popular kids in youth group, welcome to the Bible Belt!) She had loudly criticized the way I was applying sunscreen, which drew the attention of the other kids and of course embarrassed me. I remember thinking, I know I am smarter than this girl. I know the kind of grades she gets in school. So why is it she knows how to get all these other kids on her side? How does she know how to manipulate every situation so she ends up with power and I end up looking dumb? I know I’m smart, so why can’t I figure out how to be more popular? Now I know that while I may have been book smart, that girl far outpaced me in social IQ, and they’re two completely different kinds of intelligence.
Not everything in the book resonated with me, but that’s to be expected, because there are a lot of ways to be awkward, and thankfully there are some awkward traits I don’t struggle with. For example, Tashiro tells a cute story on himself about a time in grade school when he made edits to his store-bought Valentines because he was uncomfortable with the strong emotions they expressed. Some awkward people are uncomfortable expressing or discussing strong emotions, but as someone who feels compelled to externally process every emotion she experiences (just ask my husband), I don’t have that problem. So I guess I’ve got that going for me.
Reflecting on my life this way has made me really thankful for that friend group I had growing up. It makes me want to give each of those girls a hug, and I’m not a hugger. Without them, I strongly suspect I would have spent most of my school years chewing on my hair and staring at the wall. It also fills me with a kind of awe that my husband and I, two incredibly awkward people, managed to meet and date and fall in love with each other. I remember our first date with eternal fondness, but I’m sure to an outside observer it was more like a slow-moving train wreck than violins and birdsong. Fortunately, he’s the kind of guy who finds it endearing that I brought a book with me.
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
Thanks to the friend bubble, I didn’t fully realize how awkward I was until college, when that friend group dispersed and I was on my own to build a new one. Let me tell you, it was a rude awakening. And nowadays when my awkwardness rears its head, it continues to surprise me, because most of my life I’ve perceived myself as a socially normal, if not terribly popular or trendy, person. Then I walk into a crowded wedding reception full of tables for eight with my (one) husband and panic about which six strangers we’re going to have to make small talk with, and I remember. Oh yeah. This is who I am. I was just blissfully unaware of it for 18 years.
So reading Ty Tashiro’s book was extremely helpful to me, because it validated a lot of things I’d wondered about myself but didn’t know how to put into words. I’ve known I am an introvert for a while now, but Tashiro points out that that label alone doesn’t fully explain everything about him, and it doesn’t explain everything about my experience, either. It’s not just that I crave time alone, it’s that when I am in a social situation, I don’t know how to comport myself. It’s possible to be introverted and still feel comfortable in social situations, but it’s also possible to be introverted and feel paralyzed by them. One doesn’t necessarily predict the other. That was a big revelation for me, and a comforting one, since I’ve read so many introvert thinkpieces claiming that “being introverted doesn’t mean I’m socially inept!” that left me wondering, “But what if I am?” If introversion didn’t explain my social hiccups, did that mean I was defective? According to Tashiro, nope, I’m just awkward. Somehow, that’s a lot easier to live with.
Tashiro also discusses the link between giftedness and awkwardness, and while he’s careful to acknowledge that not all gifted kids are awkward and not all awkward kids are gifted, there’s a higher prevalence of awkwardness among gifted kids than non-gifted kids. Which is a real duh moment if you’ve ever spent any time in a self-contained gifted program. I remember being totally flummoxed one time on a church trip after an interaction with one of the popular girls in my youth group. (Yes, there were popular kids in youth group, welcome to the Bible Belt!) She had loudly criticized the way I was applying sunscreen, which drew the attention of the other kids and of course embarrassed me. I remember thinking, I know I am smarter than this girl. I know the kind of grades she gets in school. So why is it she knows how to get all these other kids on her side? How does she know how to manipulate every situation so she ends up with power and I end up looking dumb? I know I’m smart, so why can’t I figure out how to be more popular? Now I know that while I may have been book smart, that girl far outpaced me in social IQ, and they’re two completely different kinds of intelligence.
Not everything in the book resonated with me, but that’s to be expected, because there are a lot of ways to be awkward, and thankfully there are some awkward traits I don’t struggle with. For example, Tashiro tells a cute story on himself about a time in grade school when he made edits to his store-bought Valentines because he was uncomfortable with the strong emotions they expressed. Some awkward people are uncomfortable expressing or discussing strong emotions, but as someone who feels compelled to externally process every emotion she experiences (just ask my husband), I don’t have that problem. So I guess I’ve got that going for me.
Reflecting on my life this way has made me really thankful for that friend group I had growing up. It makes me want to give each of those girls a hug, and I’m not a hugger. Without them, I strongly suspect I would have spent most of my school years chewing on my hair and staring at the wall. It also fills me with a kind of awe that my husband and I, two incredibly awkward people, managed to meet and date and fall in love with each other. I remember our first date with eternal fondness, but I’m sure to an outside observer it was more like a slow-moving train wreck than violins and birdsong. Fortunately, he’s the kind of guy who finds it endearing that I brought a book with me.
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
hannchilada's review against another edition
4.5
The title and blurb give the idea it speaks about more general societal awkwardness, when in reality about 1/4 to 1/3 of the book is about a specific kind of person. That being said, what the author actually sets out to explain and motivate he does fully and quite well. I appreciated the balance between colloquial stories and statistics, as well as the general promotion of balance in life he advocated. I especially enjoyed this book’s positive tone. I think my biggest critique is the way the final chapters began to feel very repetitive, as often happens in nonfiction books.
lauryl's review against another edition
informative
slow-paced
2.5
This book sounded like it would be fun and potentially useful, but it was mostly just anecdotes from the author’s childhood. It was fine and had some interesting social science studies, but not sure it lived up to the promise of the title and description.