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3.4 AVERAGE
3.4 AVERAGE
Lawrence wrote in one of his letters:
“Nobody can have the soul of me. My mother has had it, and nobody can have it again. Nobody can come into my very self again, and breathe me like an atmosphere.”
‘Sons and Lovers’ has many strands it is made up of, and this quote describes the most important one of them. Lawrence’s own unparalleled love for his mother translates in the novel as Paul Morel’s love for his mother, the portrayal of which gives rise to a Freudian subtext. While Lawrence thought that the critics had carved a half lie from an honest portrayal of his childhood, he did admit in many of his letters that he had loved his mother like a lover. In a letter he said, “This has been a kind of bond between me and my mother. We have loved each other, almost with a husband and wife love, as well as filial and maternal.” This love is clearly visible in the novel. It seems to me, however, that the Freudian element, while part of an overarching theme, is not all that important when seen together with the other themes of the novel. At least it doesn’t seem like an intended element. There might be a Freudian element to it, but the love seems like… just love.
The love for his mother gives rise to the most subtle, and sublime tensions in Paul’s life, and also in the novel as a whole. On the one hand is the will to live vitally, a will, which, according to Lawrence, was mixed up with a philosophy of sex. This will is represented by Paul’s relationship with first Miriam, then Clara. On the other hand is the desire to obey, almost a natural impulse in Paul’s case, which is represented by his relationship with his mother. ‘Sons and Lovers’ is an account of a man unable to choose which impulse to follow. The situation is picked up from Lawrence’s life itself, and as Jessie Chambers, the girl on whom Miriam was based, describes, it was simply that while loving his mother with an almost romantic passion, he had nothing left to give to a lover.
For Lawrence, sex was not something crude. “Sex and beauty are one thing, like flame and fire. If you hate sex, you hate beauty.” However, under the yoke of Victorian morels and their mothers’ hold over them, both the writer and the character cannot realize this definition of sex. Sex signified a physical as well as a spiritual union to Lawrence. However, how could he, or Paul, give himself, body and soul, to a lover when it wasn't he who held his own soul?
Be that as it may, it seems to me that both Miriam and Clara just became objects that were intended to be defeated from the very beginning. It seems as if a distorted picture was being portrayed of them, one that would merely serve to make Paul and the mother look like the only victims. I believe Lawrence could perhaps have provided a better picture of the two. I say that because even of Mr. Morel, whom the reader decides to loathe from the very beginning, Lawrence, with remarkable objectivity, presents the other side. There’s no sentimentality, but it does give rise to sympathy, which I feel Lawrence could have evoked with Miriam and Clara’s characters as well. There’s even an honest albeit tender portrayal of the friction between the mother and the son despite their love for each other.
Nonetheless, Lawrence’s writing is remarkable - his insight into character, his understanding of circumstance, and the scope and variety of life that he describes. His writing is also so very beautiful, and some passages, I think, are going to stay with me forever. What would also stay with me is the heart wrenching account of the mother’s death. At one point, it literally made me cry a bit. This was a sad, sad, sad book, and I cannot stress enough on the word sad, but I seem to have a thing for melancholic books.
“Nobody can have the soul of me. My mother has had it, and nobody can have it again. Nobody can come into my very self again, and breathe me like an atmosphere.”
‘Sons and Lovers’ has many strands it is made up of, and this quote describes the most important one of them. Lawrence’s own unparalleled love for his mother translates in the novel as Paul Morel’s love for his mother, the portrayal of which gives rise to a Freudian subtext. While Lawrence thought that the critics had carved a half lie from an honest portrayal of his childhood, he did admit in many of his letters that he had loved his mother like a lover. In a letter he said, “This has been a kind of bond between me and my mother. We have loved each other, almost with a husband and wife love, as well as filial and maternal.” This love is clearly visible in the novel. It seems to me, however, that the Freudian element, while part of an overarching theme, is not all that important when seen together with the other themes of the novel. At least it doesn’t seem like an intended element. There might be a Freudian element to it, but the love seems like… just love.
The love for his mother gives rise to the most subtle, and sublime tensions in Paul’s life, and also in the novel as a whole. On the one hand is the will to live vitally, a will, which, according to Lawrence, was mixed up with a philosophy of sex. This will is represented by Paul’s relationship with first Miriam, then Clara. On the other hand is the desire to obey, almost a natural impulse in Paul’s case, which is represented by his relationship with his mother. ‘Sons and Lovers’ is an account of a man unable to choose which impulse to follow. The situation is picked up from Lawrence’s life itself, and as Jessie Chambers, the girl on whom Miriam was based, describes, it was simply that while loving his mother with an almost romantic passion, he had nothing left to give to a lover.
For Lawrence, sex was not something crude. “Sex and beauty are one thing, like flame and fire. If you hate sex, you hate beauty.” However, under the yoke of Victorian morels and their mothers’ hold over them, both the writer and the character cannot realize this definition of sex. Sex signified a physical as well as a spiritual union to Lawrence. However, how could he, or Paul, give himself, body and soul, to a lover when it wasn't he who held his own soul?
Be that as it may, it seems to me that both Miriam and Clara just became objects that were intended to be defeated from the very beginning. It seems as if a distorted picture was being portrayed of them, one that would merely serve to make Paul and the mother look like the only victims. I believe Lawrence could perhaps have provided a better picture of the two. I say that because even of Mr. Morel, whom the reader decides to loathe from the very beginning, Lawrence, with remarkable objectivity, presents the other side. There’s no sentimentality, but it does give rise to sympathy, which I feel Lawrence could have evoked with Miriam and Clara’s characters as well. There’s even an honest albeit tender portrayal of the friction between the mother and the son despite their love for each other.
Nonetheless, Lawrence’s writing is remarkable - his insight into character, his understanding of circumstance, and the scope and variety of life that he describes. His writing is also so very beautiful, and some passages, I think, are going to stay with me forever. What would also stay with me is the heart wrenching account of the mother’s death. At one point, it literally made me cry a bit. This was a sad, sad, sad book, and I cannot stress enough on the word sad, but I seem to have a thing for melancholic books.
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Really like how much bicycle-riding there is.
Uses the phrase "hung fire", which is the only time I've seen that other than the Rolling Stones song "Hang Fire".
"The Release", intense.
Uses the phrase "hung fire", which is the only time I've seen that other than the Rolling Stones song "Hang Fire".
"The Release", intense.
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This book is a slow, methodical, and deeply introspective exploration of intimate relationships.
It provides an astute take on tainted love. The ways in which people's deepest desires and unfulfilled wants control all their surface interactions. The small misunderstandings, that are always symptomatic of much deeper conflict.
It is about familial and romantic love, both the subtlety and brusqueness of these. It is about the struggle for control (over a loved one, or one's own fate) versus the driving force of nature and character.
Provided one is interested in emotional exploration, this is a read to surrender to.
It provides an astute take on tainted love. The ways in which people's deepest desires and unfulfilled wants control all their surface interactions. The small misunderstandings, that are always symptomatic of much deeper conflict.
It is about familial and romantic love, both the subtlety and brusqueness of these. It is about the struggle for control (over a loved one, or one's own fate) versus the driving force of nature and character.
Provided one is interested in emotional exploration, this is a read to surrender to.
"Being the sons of mothers whose husbands had blundered rather brutally through their feminine sanctities, they were themselves too diffident and shy."
Well, this.
It's interesting how one broken relationship (with her husband) leads the mother to hold on to her son in such an unyielding manner, that she ends up destroying any chance of him ever being able to give himself up in love to another woman. Almost funny that I can see how any relationship he will be in, his partner would go through the same that his mother did.
Well, this.
It's interesting how one broken relationship (with her husband) leads the mother to hold on to her son in such an unyielding manner, that she ends up destroying any chance of him ever being able to give himself up in love to another woman. Almost funny that I can see how any relationship he will be in, his partner would go through the same that his mother did.
One and a half stars. I hated all of the characters (who basically complained the entire time)and the plot which was depressing and monotonous. The only thing I didn't hate was the setting. If it has just been a book about the setting it would have at least been less painful to get through. Not even the illicit sex scenes could save it. Even those were kind of depressing. I shan't be reading any more D.H. Lawrence.
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Although while reading this book, I often felt that not much was happening, retrospectively a lot of relationship-focused conflict occurred.
Paul is so attached to his mother that he cannot break off from her and form his own romantic relationships. He can never distance himself, like most young people at this age, and become an independent entity. He constantly faults both Miriam and Clara, each lacking some portion of what he needs. But then, is that truly their fault or Paul's own exceedingly high standards? Paul never attempts to work on the relationship. He never truly gives either of them a chance. He resigns, and believes they are just not enough, that no one could really measure up to his mother. In truth, it appears that his mother has claimed a piece of his heart that he is unwilling to part with, and thus makes him incomplete, unable to give his heart to another.
Paul does come off as a whiner. But then, what "momma's boy" doesn't? He constantly is laughing or making jokes, while internally he is dissatisfied.
The dynamic between Walter and Gertrude at the beginning of the book was absolutely engaging. Lawrence set the family scene perfectly, giving you the understanding as to how Paul grew up the way he did, close with his mother.
There isn't any real smut in this book; no apparent sexual relationship with his mother, and no true suggestions of it. Sure, you can interpret underlying emotions as such, but it's not that kind of book. This is a book about a young man trying to form a romantic relationship, and failing, because he just can't get over his mother.
Paul is so attached to his mother that he cannot break off from her and form his own romantic relationships. He can never distance himself, like most young people at this age, and become an independent entity. He constantly faults both Miriam and Clara, each lacking some portion of what he needs. But then, is that truly their fault or Paul's own exceedingly high standards? Paul never attempts to work on the relationship. He never truly gives either of them a chance. He resigns, and believes they are just not enough, that no one could really measure up to his mother. In truth, it appears that his mother has claimed a piece of his heart that he is unwilling to part with, and thus makes him incomplete, unable to give his heart to another.
Paul does come off as a whiner. But then, what "momma's boy" doesn't? He constantly is laughing or making jokes, while internally he is dissatisfied.
The dynamic between Walter and Gertrude at the beginning of the book was absolutely engaging. Lawrence set the family scene perfectly, giving you the understanding as to how Paul grew up the way he did, close with his mother.
There isn't any real smut in this book; no apparent sexual relationship with his mother, and no true suggestions of it. Sure, you can interpret underlying emotions as such, but it's not that kind of book. This is a book about a young man trying to form a romantic relationship, and failing, because he just can't get over his mother.