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thephdivabooks's review against another edition
4.0
Have you ever gotten yourself into trouble by not paying your bills on time? Failed at a diet AGAIN? Struggled to open up in a relationship? Almost missed a work deadline because you couldn’t stop checking social media?
These are all examples of ways that we self-sabotage. In Dr. Judy Ho’s new book, Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Own Way, you’ll learn why we do these things, follow exercises to dig into your personal triggers, and practice ways to finally stop the cycle of self-sabotage.
If you are anything like me, you’ll want to rush in, skip the intro, and flip pages to the end to find the magic cure for this behavior. Well, I hate to spoil it, but there is no magic cure. However, I did follow the exercises and complete the charts as I went, and I’ll tell you that it will take work to change my behavior, but I’ve already seen positive changes through my efforts.
Actually, my favorite part of the book was learning about the primary motivations behind self-sabotage. I read through them all and I initially felt hopeless. I kept thinking “oh no, I do all of these!” But actually after I did the exercise to diagnose behavioral markers, I found that two were much stronger motivators of my self-sabotage, and the others I barely scored on at all.
This is the importance of reading this book all of the way through. It’s easy to skim and think—ok, I’ve got this. Fear? Check! Stop being afraid? That must be the key! But actually the reason we are in these cycles of self-sabotage is that we don’t really have good insight into why we are doing it or how to stop it. I thought I knew what my triggers were, but when I worked through this book I realized that I wasn’t focusing on the right thing.
I also broke this book into chunks when I read it. I started slow, with the exercises around diagnosing and learning to note when I’m falling into my self-sabotage triggers. Then, as I got more comfortable recognizing the patterns, I began the more specific exercises designed to help me change my behaviors and thought patterns. I kept a notebook for mine, but you could also write directly in your book.
I recommend this to even those who think they don’t struggle with self-sabotage. Often we don’t realize how we are sabotaging ourselves! We think it is just the way we are wired, or we blame other things (e.g., my coworkers were being too chatty so that is why I got behind). But the truth is, we are in control of our own behaviors and we can stop these cycles with patience and discipline.
Thank you to Suzy for my chance to be on the tour!
These are all examples of ways that we self-sabotage. In Dr. Judy Ho’s new book, Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Own Way, you’ll learn why we do these things, follow exercises to dig into your personal triggers, and practice ways to finally stop the cycle of self-sabotage.
If you are anything like me, you’ll want to rush in, skip the intro, and flip pages to the end to find the magic cure for this behavior. Well, I hate to spoil it, but there is no magic cure. However, I did follow the exercises and complete the charts as I went, and I’ll tell you that it will take work to change my behavior, but I’ve already seen positive changes through my efforts.
Actually, my favorite part of the book was learning about the primary motivations behind self-sabotage. I read through them all and I initially felt hopeless. I kept thinking “oh no, I do all of these!” But actually after I did the exercise to diagnose behavioral markers, I found that two were much stronger motivators of my self-sabotage, and the others I barely scored on at all.
This is the importance of reading this book all of the way through. It’s easy to skim and think—ok, I’ve got this. Fear? Check! Stop being afraid? That must be the key! But actually the reason we are in these cycles of self-sabotage is that we don’t really have good insight into why we are doing it or how to stop it. I thought I knew what my triggers were, but when I worked through this book I realized that I wasn’t focusing on the right thing.
I also broke this book into chunks when I read it. I started slow, with the exercises around diagnosing and learning to note when I’m falling into my self-sabotage triggers. Then, as I got more comfortable recognizing the patterns, I began the more specific exercises designed to help me change my behaviors and thought patterns. I kept a notebook for mine, but you could also write directly in your book.
I recommend this to even those who think they don’t struggle with self-sabotage. Often we don’t realize how we are sabotaging ourselves! We think it is just the way we are wired, or we blame other things (e.g., my coworkers were being too chatty so that is why I got behind). But the truth is, we are in control of our own behaviors and we can stop these cycles with patience and discipline.
Thank you to Suzy for my chance to be on the tour!
lattelibrarian's review against another edition
4.0
Have you ever had that moment where you go, "Oh, goddammit, I'm self-sabotaging!"? I had that moment recently and it was like all of my decisions--the ones that I absolutely had to make, because otherwise, well, was I even trying?--came into full, clear view. It wasn't that I valued money or the ability to make coffee (speaking to my one-day-a-week side job at a cafe, despite the fact that I have a full-on career that pays me pretty dang decently), it was that I was self-sabotaging. How dare everyone else get two days off a week! I was lucky and have been working since I was sixteen just to get one day off!
And then...duh. I could have two days off if I wanted. Money was no longer an issue. The work outweighed the fun I was having. And yet I still showed up (and am still showing up) diligently each and every Sunday for 9+ hours of work for half the pay I normally get at my "real job". Why was I working so hard when as far as I knew, my bills would still get paid and I'd have free time to actually figure out what I like to do outside of work?
Well, because I self-sabotage and the dread of the known was easier to handle emotionally than the fear of the unknown.
Enter this book. Each chapter, Ho describes a self-sabotaging phenomenon and studies associated with it, ending with a fast activity, a day-long activity, and a week-long activity. These include creating SMART goals, crafting If/When...Then statements, and dividing values into three equal categories of Important, Kind of Important, and Not as Important. These and other activities come together to compound on our thought processes, forcing us to rework the way our brains think and aligning our actions with our values. SMART goals give us a solid plan of action with measurement and time outcome, If/When...Then statements give us something to go off of when we feel ourselves sliding into our old habits, and the values help us to rank what is most important and taking the mature step to at long last align what we do so that we feel more whole and at peace with our day-to-day and long-term practices.
This was definitely a game-changing book in my mind. I read this as an e-book at work and did the quick activities in my planner. It's definitely helped me to begin thinking about what needs to change and how I can go about doing so in reasonable ways.
And then...duh. I could have two days off if I wanted. Money was no longer an issue. The work outweighed the fun I was having. And yet I still showed up (and am still showing up) diligently each and every Sunday for 9+ hours of work for half the pay I normally get at my "real job". Why was I working so hard when as far as I knew, my bills would still get paid and I'd have free time to actually figure out what I like to do outside of work?
Well, because I self-sabotage and the dread of the known was easier to handle emotionally than the fear of the unknown.
Enter this book. Each chapter, Ho describes a self-sabotaging phenomenon and studies associated with it, ending with a fast activity, a day-long activity, and a week-long activity. These include creating SMART goals, crafting If/When...Then statements, and dividing values into three equal categories of Important, Kind of Important, and Not as Important. These and other activities come together to compound on our thought processes, forcing us to rework the way our brains think and aligning our actions with our values. SMART goals give us a solid plan of action with measurement and time outcome, If/When...Then statements give us something to go off of when we feel ourselves sliding into our old habits, and the values help us to rank what is most important and taking the mature step to at long last align what we do so that we feel more whole and at peace with our day-to-day and long-term practices.
This was definitely a game-changing book in my mind. I read this as an e-book at work and did the quick activities in my planner. It's definitely helped me to begin thinking about what needs to change and how I can go about doing so in reasonable ways.
booktrovertreader's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
5.0
trippalli's review against another edition
informative
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
4.75
Great information followed by related helpful and relevant exercises with many levels and topics each helping to understand ones relationship to this part of sabotage. Great hands on learning, very understandable and actionable.
mornings_with_books's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.75
نمیتونم بگم کتابیه که به همه توصیه میکنم، ولی اگه مشکل self-sabotage دارید (دو تا نشونه اصلیش وقت تلف کردن و کمالگراییه) کتاب فوقالعادهای بود. مخصوصاً دوست داشتم که راهکارهای منطقی میداد به جای اینکه صرفاً بیاد به ریشههای خودتخریبی بپردازه. من فکر میکنم در زمان درستی کتاب رو خوندم و دوست دارم مدتی بعد دوباره و چند باره هم کتاب رو بخونم، چون توی خودتخریبی لازمه که هی به خودت یادآوری کنی تا وقتی که بالاخره ازش رها بشی.
sheentendo's review against another edition
informative
fast-paced
3.5
The book is rich with information. The blueprint is difficult to do alone without a buddy. For someone who is ND, I like the short tips but realistically it is hard for me to keep up with the longer exercises regularly.
am2ara's review against another edition
Just couldn’t get into this book. The points weren’t wrong, but (so far) nothing I haven’t heard before. Also too broad to apply for neurodivergent folks