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4.15 AVERAGE
4.15 AVERAGE
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Re-read 3/10/2025: I forgot how broken both Julian and Deacon were. My chest ACHED throughout the first half of this book. I also forgot how they both took care of each other. In my first review, I talked about how Deacon cared for Julian, but Julian did the same for Deacon. They both just genuinely wanted to take care of the other in their own way.
I wallow in nothingness and convince myself life is better on my own. With no feelings, no friends, no family. But for whatever reason, I don't want that for Deacon. He needs to relieve himself of the guilt and sense of blame that oozes out of his pores. Every word. Every look. Every move. He's driven by the need to be better, because the right people didn't tell him he was enough.
Anyway, this book still is a total 5-star read for me, and I cannot wait for With You.
--
"I can’t explain the need, or what possesses me to comfort him this way, but that’s what it is. A need. Not a choice. My parents have each other, Victoria has her family, and he has nobody—we both have nobody." The juxtaposition of Deacon's thoughts here with the letter that Rhett left for Deacon ?? Breathtaking. I won't post Rhett's letter because I don't want to give it all away, but seeing Deacon's initial thoughts about Julian beside Rhett's wishes ... well, I was sobbing.
My heart ached watching Deacon and Julian come to grips with their feelings for each other. Their connection jumped off the page, and my heart was literally clenched waiting for both of them to acknowledge what was happening.
Deacon was absolutely broken from his mom's emotional abuse, and he just wanted to get away from it all. He never felt like he could measure up to his younger brother, Rhett, so he left as soon as he could to move to Seattle. Even after his brother died from cancer, Deacon felt like he never truly belonged back in Montana with the rest of his family. Julian, Rhett's boyfriend who was left behind when Rhett passed away, was also broken for very different reasons, but still ... so broken.
Sometimes I wonder if death really is the worst thing, because being alive and feeling so empty and hollow seems to be much worse.
When Deacon came back to Montana for the first anniversary of his brother's death, Julian was there, and there was something that kept pulling them together. This story follows Deacon's sexual awakening, Julian's struggle with grief, and both of their overwhelming feelings of guilt. The way that they both navigated these difficult waters while still supporting each other was stunning.
I loved how Deacon took care of Julian, who had truly never been taken care of in his life. Who knew that fucking pair of gloves would bring me to my knees. 🥺🥺🥺
His kindness has rendered me speechless. It’s effortless, like taking care of me is as natural to him as breathing. I’ve never had that before. When my family died, I took care of myself. When Rhett was sick, all I did was take care of him. I put both hands up in front of my chest, my fingers spread apart, and I watch him take care of me.
I thought the references to Rhett would get annoying, but I think the author was able to keep his memory very much alive while still giving both Deacon and Julian the space to move on and be happy together. I would have loved to seen more happiness - more domesticity - but the little bit we got to see towards the end was very sweet. They were such a communicative and supportive partnership. Their phone conversations? Top tier. ❤️
From the boy who lost his way, not once, not twice, but three times, I finally feel like I’m home.
I fell in love with both Deacon and Julian, and their story will always have a special place in my heart.
Deacon and Julian’s story will warm your heart
Deacon is suffering. His brother Rhett is dead, his family is terrible and he is all alone. Julian was Rhett’s best friend, caregiver, lover and now he is all alone.
On the one year anniversary of Rhett’s death can two men find a way to heal one another? Can they put the past behind them and look too the future?
This story is filled with the feels. I wanted to just wrap both Deacon and Julian in a great big hug. They have both suffered so much and they both deserve happiness but neither thinks they are worthy or deserving of happiness and love.
This story will make you feel the guilt, hope, sadness, and happiness these two experience during the story, Do I recommend? Yes, I wish there was more! I would love to know more about Julian and Deacon!
Deacon is suffering. His brother Rhett is dead, his family is terrible and he is all alone. Julian was Rhett’s best friend, caregiver, lover and now he is all alone.
On the one year anniversary of Rhett’s death can two men find a way to heal one another? Can they put the past behind them and look too the future?
This story is filled with the feels. I wanted to just wrap both Deacon and Julian in a great big hug. They have both suffered so much and they both deserve happiness but neither thinks they are worthy or deserving of happiness and love.
This story will make you feel the guilt, hope, sadness, and happiness these two experience during the story, Do I recommend? Yes, I wish there was more! I would love to know more about Julian and Deacon!
This book! WOW.
It's my first Marley Valentine book, and I'm sure it won't be my last!
I admit that I struggled in the beginning to find a conductive line in their connection and in the feelings that they were delving into for each other. But as the book went on and the attraction hit us in the face, we realised how perfectly they fit and how they do deserve this wonderful love (that's where the missing half star goes). 4.5⭐
Julian is such an incredible character, so gracious and selfless... Even full of doubt and guilt, he walks the road he is on and finds in Deacon, his dead boyfriend's brother (yes, that's right), the reason to finally live the life he deserves.
And Deacon... Poor baby... Honestly, his struggle and the outcome of his relationship were the most satisfying things ever. The way his smile grows throughout the book was amazing to read. I love when characters like him just let go of years of straight relationships, and this happens. "I’m not attracted to men," I say boldly. "I’m only attracted to you." I'm a total sucker for this. Like soulmates that you couldn't imagine.
We get all the angst expected from this... Both of them were full of grief and guilt but unable to control their love. Sometimes my heart just leaves my body with happiness..
Obviously, the mother... In situations like this, I inhale and tell myself, "Patrícia this is fiction; bitches like that don't exist! “and then exhale!
Sometimes in books, we get sex scenes because they're hot and sexy; in this book, every time they got together, it felt like an extra blanket to protect them in their own bubble; no one could touch them. They were like perfect designed to solidify a love that fit so well together... But yes, also HOT as the boals of hell... We have some dirty mouths in here, people.
The jelousy and the fact that Deacon was competing with his dead brother were done perfectly—raw and true! But what totally broke me to tears was Julian's declaration. My heart was weak. I was so afraid of this—of Julian loving Rhett more—but those words were exactly what we, the greedy readers, and Deacon (you are enough, baby) needed.
It's my first Marley Valentine book, and I'm sure it won't be my last!
I admit that I struggled in the beginning to find a conductive line in their connection and in the feelings that they were delving into for each other. But as the book went on and the attraction hit us in the face, we realised how perfectly they fit and how they do deserve this wonderful love (that's where the missing half star goes). 4.5⭐
Julian is such an incredible character, so gracious and selfless... Even full of doubt and guilt, he walks the road he is on and finds in Deacon, his dead boyfriend's brother (yes, that's right), the reason to finally live the life he deserves.
And Deacon... Poor baby... Honestly, his struggle and the outcome of his relationship were the most satisfying things ever. The way his smile grows throughout the book was amazing to read. I love when characters like him just let go of years of straight relationships, and this happens. "I’m not attracted to men," I say boldly. "I’m only attracted to you." I'm a total sucker for this. Like soulmates that you couldn't imagine.
We get all the angst expected from this... Both of them were full of grief and guilt but unable to control their love. Sometimes my heart just leaves my body with happiness..
Obviously, the mother... In situations like this, I inhale and tell myself, "Patrícia this is fiction; bitches like that don't exist! “and then exhale!
Sometimes in books, we get sex scenes because they're hot and sexy; in this book, every time they got together, it felt like an extra blanket to protect them in their own bubble; no one could touch them. They were like perfect designed to solidify a love that fit so well together... But yes, also HOT as the boals of hell... We have some dirty mouths in here, people.
The jelousy and the fact that Deacon was competing with his dead brother were done perfectly—raw and true! But what totally broke me to tears was Julian's declaration. My heart was weak. I was so afraid of this—of Julian loving Rhett more—but those words were exactly what we, the greedy readers, and Deacon (you are enough, baby) needed.
I’m irrefutably in love with Deacon and Julian’s love story
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Gaslighting
Moderate: Biphobia, Abandonment
Minor: Death
In one word this book was..emotional.
I went in blind just from the cover, this one was rough.
Crying throughout a book hasn't happened to me a lot but this one hit a little closer than I expected.
Deacon & Julian's journey although rocky at first is beautiful as the book ended. Wanting to reach in and just hug them both was a familiar feeling while reading each of their POVs.
Grief a everlasting feeling, you can push it down and ignore it but it always comes back just when you think everything is okay.
This story was told in such a gripping way that it draws you in and keeps you there not wanting to let these characters go and move on but such is the thing with the ending of a book.
If you are up for a great book on loss, guilt and letting go to finally be happy then this is the book for you, take a chance and go to Montana/Seattle and meet Deacon & Julian.
Marley is a new author for me but this book will definitely not be my last, I am definitely glad I grabbed this one up.
I went in blind just from the cover, this one was rough.
Crying throughout a book hasn't happened to me a lot but this one hit a little closer than I expected.
Deacon & Julian's journey although rocky at first is beautiful as the book ended. Wanting to reach in and just hug them both was a familiar feeling while reading each of their POVs.
Grief a everlasting feeling, you can push it down and ignore it but it always comes back just when you think everything is okay.
This story was told in such a gripping way that it draws you in and keeps you there not wanting to let these characters go and move on but such is the thing with the ending of a book.
If you are up for a great book on loss, guilt and letting go to finally be happy then this is the book for you, take a chance and go to Montana/Seattle and meet Deacon & Julian.
Marley is a new author for me but this book will definitely not be my last, I am definitely glad I grabbed this one up.
A beautiful, delicate, and spicy read - no spoilers!
I came in not really knowing what to expect from the premise, and was unsure as to how I would react to the characters tragic backstory and how that would interfere with the outcome, but oh my word - the last four or so chapters had me sobbing.
I really can't recommend this book enough. Such a stunning and tender lover story that delves into grief in such an honest and relatable way.
I came in not really knowing what to expect from the premise, and was unsure as to how I would react to the characters tragic backstory and how that would interfere with the outcome, but oh my word - the last four or so chapters had me sobbing.
I really can't recommend this book enough. Such a stunning and tender lover story that delves into grief in such an honest and relatable way.
Deacon is a sad and tortured man. Julian is his dead brothers boyfriend. I love love love a "why am I feeling these things" M/M story. This is a slow burn. Like really slow. But that said , the build up was great. These two men are both insecure, they are both confused (for different reasons), and the are both hurting. This book definitely pulls at the heart strings. As for the narration, because I did the audiobook, this was my first experience with Tim Paige and I really enjoyed it. His smooth voice delivered the words beautifully. Teddy Hamilton made me feel. His nuances, the ache in his voice, and just his overall performance brought this book to another level for me. I was worried that this book wouldn't live up to the hype, but it totally did. It met every expectation.