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This was a book that definitely would have been better if I'd actually read it rather than listened on audio -- except that, realistically speaking, it probably would have languished on my "TBR" shelf, never been completed ... so maybe the audio was actually better, in that way? It was definitely painful to listen to the exercises in each chapter being read aloud, and I didn't absorb as much as I should have (I can't name a single principle referred to in the title!). But if I had read it a few years ago (back when I had more time to read) it wouldn't have meant as much, and, as I mentioned, if I had tried to read it in my spare minutes now, I would have never gotten around to it.
I actually felt really encouraged reading this book. My marriage is good, but after almost fifteen years, it's definitely changed from those blissful newlywed days -- and I'm at the stage of life where I see as many friends divorcing as I do marrying. It's sad, and a little scary! This helped me recognize the good habits I was already doing (namely speaking with kindness and decency, even during conflict) and encouraged me to prioritize my marriage relationship.
A few things I liked (I had to skim some other reviews to help jog my memory):
~I appreciated that the author didn't dwell on communicating fairly and perfectly -- he recognized that this is almost impossible sometimes -- but that "repair attempts" (humor, an apology) can undo a lot of the damage we do, especially if we are usually kind and selfless in our relationship.
~Marriage is more than a roommate or co-parent situation, and it's not all about romantic love, either -- it's a friendship. Do things with your spouse! Be interested in him and ask about his day!
~Focus on the positive in your spouse.
~Realize that not all problems will be solved, but that you can still be happily married in spite of this. You can learn to give and take, to compromise.
I actually felt really encouraged reading this book. My marriage is good, but after almost fifteen years, it's definitely changed from those blissful newlywed days -- and I'm at the stage of life where I see as many friends divorcing as I do marrying. It's sad, and a little scary! This helped me recognize the good habits I was already doing (namely speaking with kindness and decency, even during conflict) and encouraged me to prioritize my marriage relationship.
A few things I liked (I had to skim some other reviews to help jog my memory):
~I appreciated that the author didn't dwell on communicating fairly and perfectly -- he recognized that this is almost impossible sometimes -- but that "repair attempts" (humor, an apology) can undo a lot of the damage we do, especially if we are usually kind and selfless in our relationship.
~Marriage is more than a roommate or co-parent situation, and it's not all about romantic love, either -- it's a friendship. Do things with your spouse! Be interested in him and ask about his day!
~Focus on the positive in your spouse.
~Realize that not all problems will be solved, but that you can still be happily married in spite of this. You can learn to give and take, to compromise.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
“Working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity than working out at a health club.”
In my opinion this is the ultimate relationship book and my most recommended; it delivers the core principles to make the strongest foundation for a healthy marriage and relationship.
It is very realistic and important for every person who tends to have a healthy relationship to know these principles and to bear in mind that every relationship requires constant work from each partner.
In my opinion this is the ultimate relationship book and my most recommended; it delivers the core principles to make the strongest foundation for a healthy marriage and relationship.
It is very realistic and important for every person who tends to have a healthy relationship to know these principles and to bear in mind that every relationship requires constant work from each partner.
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
inspiring
slow-paced
Read and did conference. Super useful.
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Someone that I was talking to about marriage suggested this book. Reminds me of covey and didn’t want to read it. But it’s not him! So I did! And glad I did! This guy can predict if you will stay together or not after hearing you and your significant other talk for 15 mins!! So ya... I’m going to listen to that advice!!
I love the love map idea. And turning towards, instead of away during anything good or bad. There was also a 7 week challenge to do. And at the end 6 simple things. It’s not about the grand getaways... but every day simple behavior... cool concept. I didn’t think much was wrong with my marriage but always willing to improve and totally will try these simple Day to Day habits.
I love the love map idea. And turning towards, instead of away during anything good or bad. There was also a 7 week challenge to do. And at the end 6 simple things. It’s not about the grand getaways... but every day simple behavior... cool concept. I didn’t think much was wrong with my marriage but always willing to improve and totally will try these simple Day to Day habits.
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Great exercises for married couples and deep truths founded in countless studies. One of the only "non-religious" marriage books that I have used in a study, but wonderful in it's truths about deep foundations in marriages. Best if read with your spouse so you can discuss together.
I wish this book gave the secret of making marriage work but it doesn't. Here's what it does give: Principles include putting your spouse first, ahead of your career, other family members (including kids), and other responsibilities.
Be best friends first and foremost!
Talk about both the good and bad things that happened with your day, each and every day. Know what challenges your spouse is facing, what their concerns are, what their victories are.
Know him/her/them inside and out: what are their 5 favorite movies, songs, books, places to travel, goals for the future, where they went to school, what growing up was like for them, and how their parents treated them. EVERYTHING.
All of this is to provide a solid foundation that you can rely on when things start to become difficult, struggles arise, and conflicts occur. The reason divorce happens is that a couple loses connection and having the above in place is supposed to eliminate or reduce those feelings of disconnect.
While I agree with the above, having a solid foundation helps when times get tough, I don't like any book that applies a "one size fits all" approach to marriage or relationships. Many things can cause problems in a marriage (having kids, job/career issues, drug & alcohol addiction) and that needs to be taken into consideration as well.
Be best friends first and foremost!
Talk about both the good and bad things that happened with your day, each and every day. Know what challenges your spouse is facing, what their concerns are, what their victories are.
Know him/her/them inside and out: what are their 5 favorite movies, songs, books, places to travel, goals for the future, where they went to school, what growing up was like for them, and how their parents treated them. EVERYTHING.
All of this is to provide a solid foundation that you can rely on when things start to become difficult, struggles arise, and conflicts occur. The reason divorce happens is that a couple loses connection and having the above in place is supposed to eliminate or reduce those feelings of disconnect.
While I agree with the above, having a solid foundation helps when times get tough, I don't like any book that applies a "one size fits all" approach to marriage or relationships. Many things can cause problems in a marriage (having kids, job/career issues, drug & alcohol addiction) and that needs to be taken into consideration as well.