Reviews with content warning for Sexual assault - Let's Talk About Love

i won't lie, this book was a bit of a disappointment for me. i picked it up because i was interested in reading a book with asexual rep and also intrigued by the fact that the main character, alice, works at a library (like myself!). as for the representation, overall, i do think that it was well done and definitely one of its greatest strengths! although, i just couldn't ever get really invested in the plot or the charcters and reading a book with a book with eh charcters as a character>plot reader can definitely make a book drag on.

the language/author's style of writing also wasn't my favorite. it just didn't really reflect the fact that most of the characters were college-aged and was instead immature. however, partly because of this, i found it to be a fairly "easy" read. also, there were some well-written cute, romantic moments that i enjoyed. overall, i found this book to be pretty meh and not super memorable.

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anna_wa's review against another edition

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hopeful

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

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madamenovelist's review against another edition

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emotional funny lighthearted slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

Asexual rep varies throughout. Some aspects were VERY accurate to the experiences of real life aces (myself included). And some gave me pause because it felt like utilizing aphobia or otherness to amp up drama, and it didn’t quite sit right with me. What bothered me most was how suddenly we skip all of Alice’s classes/work halfway through the book and Feenie never owns up to being unfair and manipulative to Alice. Otherwise I enjoyed the focus of deep emotional ties with everyone around Alice, not just Takumi.

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longlost's review against another edition

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emotional funny reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

"Margot lowered herself down next to Alice, slowly, as if she were dealing with a scared animal. "Have you gone to a doctor?" she asked. She traced her delicate fingers over Alice's shoulder, curving towards her spine. It tickled, but Alice didn't show it.
"I don't need to." Number one, she thought.
"Were you abused? Is that it?"
"No." Number two.
"Are you saving yourself for marriage?"
"I hope that's a joke."
"It was," Margot admitted. Her sad smile burned in the corner of Alice's eyes. "Then what? Tell me. People don't just not like sex without a reason. It's kind of not natural, don't you think?"

This book. This book is so important. The only thing stopping me from rating this book 5 stars entirely is my own discomfort with some of the characters in it, which I'm not 100% sure on whether it's something that personally upsets me because of my own experiences, or whether it does genuinely send a concerning message.

First thing's first: the asexual representation. I'm unsure if the book is own voices, but as an asexual person I felt that the ace community and experience was treated with incredible respect and remains nuanced - I particularly appreciated the discussions between Alice and Takumi, and Alice and her therapist, that show us what asexuality means to her. Outside of the community itself I often see asexuality boiled down to "doesn't have sex ever" with no other characteristics outside of that, and seeing Alice as a character who had her own wants and limits and feelings on sexuality and romance was incredibly refreshing. Takumi was also a sweetheart - my fondness for him was helped by the fact that, honestly, I wasn't that invested or empathetic towards Feenie and Ryan, which we'll get into later.

I'm not an expert on romance by any means, but the one Claire Kann gives us here was very cute. I appreciated that Alice and Takumi have genuine conversations about their needs and wants in their relationship, and the fact that it wasn't as simple as one might hope it would be

e.g. when Alice asks him out in the car and his response is less than ideal.

The fact that Takumi later acknowledges that he hurt her and makes an effort to make it up to her really cemented my fondness for their relationship.

A big reason of why I finally sat down to read this book was because the author was a person of colour - as a white person with little experience in intersectionality regarding race, it was really an eye-opener to see the discussions between Alice and Takumi and Alice's own reflections on the racism they experience, and how her being black ties into her also being a queer woman.

The only thing I disliked about this book was the handling of the relationship between Feenie, Ryan and Alice. Throughout the book it's framed as a positive thing and shown that they overcome their relationship problems, but the way both Feenie and Ryan treat Alice throughout the middle of the book honestly reminds me very much of my own experiences with abuse. When Alice states that she feels left out of their friendship due to Feenie and Ryan often ditching her to be together

(which is shown in the book as them leaving her alone at a party without a word, soon after which she is sexually assaulted by a random partygoer)

she is treated like her frustration is unreasonable when she 100% has the right to be upset, especially after what she experienced after her friends left her without a word. One passage in particular that made me uncomfortable to read:

“I think I’d say yes. Just to see. I think I might have a serious squish on him.”

“The fuck is a squish?” Feenie sucked her teeth, shaking her head. “You know what? I don’t want to know. It seems like you’re romantically attracted to him, so there you go. Grand Mystery solved. I hereby resign from my love-coaching duties.”
alongside:
“We went upstairs. You actually left the party. That is not the same thing.” [Feenie] looked Alice right in the eyes. “I’m not going to apologize for having sex with my boyfriend when you fucking jumped ship the first chance you got because you couldn’t stand being alone for thirty minutes. Miss me with that bullshit.”

This is the kind of behaviour Feenie continually displays for Alice's transgression of simply leaving the party without them after she was sexually assaulted by a random guy at a party after they left her. Granted, we aren't given a scene where Alice tells them this happened, but it makes them extremely unsympathetic regardless. She's not even visibly angry with them for it, and this is still how she is treated. And despite her defense of the fact that she left Alice alone to be with her boyfriend, she later uses the fact that Alice is spending so much time with Takumi (partly because they, her friends, are gaslighting and belittling her half the time she's at home) and "replacing her" against Alice when she's entirely aware of Alice's conflicting maybe-romantic feelings towards him, which should justify their time spent together by Feenie's logic.

Ryan's better in the fact that he doesn't give Alice passive-aggressive comments like 50% of the time until their reconciliation, but he also tries to frame it that Alice's hurt if unjustified and that it's unfair of her to spend time with someone else without them, which is the same thing they do to her.

Alice: “You two spend a lot of time together without me.”

Ryan: “That’s different. We’re engaged.”

Alice: “So I’m just supposed to sit around and wait for you both to remember I exist?”

Ryan: “Of course not, but you shouldn’t edge us out. You’re the one making it as if it has to be him or us.”

Feenie's behaviour throughout their argument made me so uncomfortable to read, and when they do eventually reconcile she turns it around so that Alice is the one apologizing for her hurt while Feenie chastises her for ever believing that Feenie and Ryan don't care about her when it was Feenie and Ryan's own actions that led Alice to be upset. While I really enjoyed the rest of the book and thought it was very well written, this aspect was just so upsetting to me that I found it hard to empathise with Feenie and Ryan's characters, and to feel like Alice was in a safe and healthy friendship with them.

However I wouldn't say that this makes the book a no-read - there's a lot more to the story besides Alice's friendship with them, and I can't say that my discomfort isn't driven by my own personal experiences with abuse and may be seen as completely different by anyone else reading. The ace rep is very well written, and the author weaves her own experiences as a black woman into the narrative in a way that really shows the microaggressions black people face on a daily basis and is worth the read IMO. While the behaviour from Feenie and Ryan and how it was justified in the text made reading this book harder for me, the rest of the story was still enjoyable and I don't regret having read the book.

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nytephoenyx's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I absolutely loved this book.

That’s an understatement.

For three days, I lived and breathed Let’s Talk About Love.

Do y’all remember Tess of the Road? Remember how much I love Tess of the Road? Remember how often I try to plug it because I love the book so much? It has a new friend. I usually write my reviews the evening after I finish a book but I’m sitting here a whole day later and blubbering about how much I loved it. I’m going to try and focus in now and do my best to tell you why.

For most people, Let’s Talk About Love probably won’t be a big deal. It’s a good book with a cute relationship and a frustrating but accurate-feeling friendship and family struggle. Here’s why Let’s Talk About Love is meaningful for me. Listening to Alice’s fears, hopes, doubts, difficulties, and internal monologue was like being in my own head. I believe there are quite a few lines of dialogue in the book that I have said in the same situation about myself. Alice feels trapped by her parents’ expectations. She loves her friends with all of her being but feels like a third wheel and that they’re drifting away. She’s biromantic asexual Black girl in a world that really doesn’t understand her… and doesn’t want to.

Sometimes you read a book and it feels like the author took the words right out of your heart. I have had this experience twice. Tess of the Road and Let’s Talk About Love. I’m trying to be objective but it’s really, really challenging.

Kann’s writing does a good job of bringing the reader into the story and tying them emotionally to Alice’s hopes and fears and insecurities. Alice is a well-rounded character – she has a past that haunts her and a future that eludes her. I like the way her development worked, where she’d start to grow and be stalled by an obstacle or pulled back down by her own insecurities – I related to that a lot, but I also think a lot of people do. The road to growth is not often easy. I also really, really enjoyed that she was a biromantic asexual. I was unable to find whether or not Kann identifies this way as well, but regardless of the author’s personal identity, I felt the representation was spot on.

There were aspects of the world building I really enjoyed as well. The focus on finance. The fact a character actually got sick and it felt real. It’s funny – Takumi behaved precisely the way my husband does when he has a bad cold or a spot of flu. The world is literally ending and basic things like staying in bed and taking medicine needs stern prompting. Again, another small slice life that felt written right out of my own story. Let’s Talk About Love is a romance, but it’s more than just a romance. It’s a story about a friendship. A story about accepting love from various venues. A story about king vulnerable. A story about crafting your life path.

Let’s Talk About Love is the perfect romance. It’s not all flirting, kissing, touching, sex. It’s a balanced relationship filled with honestly, emotional development alongside physical (or not) attraction. I really, really liked it. A lot.

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mxbluet18's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Trigger warnings for Let's Talk About Love include: ableist language; acephobia, alcohol, anxiety, assault, bullying, cheating (both past and mentioned); manipulation, microaggressions, racism, sexism, sexual harassment and toxic friendship.
☆
☆
☢Old Review ☢
This book made me cry at least 3 times in the space of about 10 minutes, and if that isn't ringing endorsement then I don't know what is. But seriously, this book explained things about me that I haven't yet had the words to explain. And it gave me some much needed ace representation. I loved it from start to finish, and I read it cover to cover in two days. The characters are relatable and real in a way that writer's don't always manage and that's in part what made me love this book so much. I also loved that this book subtly tackled and removed the stereotypes around being queer, and ace specifically, as well as the racial stereotypes of being black, and Japanese. Obviously there are some issues, namely Margot and Feenie, and those are never addressed, but overall, for me, this book was incredible.
~
☢New Review☢
I loved this book just as much as the first time I read it. I believe it was the first book I read with asexual representation, and it put words to feelings I couldn't describe for myself. I love how it discussed the stereotypes asexual people have to deal with, but how it also gave the best example of what you should do when someone comes out as ace, and the things you shouldn't say.
~
That's not to say that there aren't also the opposite examples too, of the typical things people say to asexuals, and the things that make someone feel guilty or ashamed for the identity, but those, for me are far overshadowed by Takumi and the way he handled Alice telling him.

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betweentheshelves's review against another edition

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emotional lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Okay I loved this. Yes, some of the time jumps were weird, because at points I was like, how did you do so much in so little time?? I didn't actually realize that much time was passing. Which also could have been because I was listening to the audiobook. But Alice felt so real, and her struggles with her sexuality also felt real. And Takumi! Her relationship with Takumi was adorable. I loved it.

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