nicoletallywhite's review

Go to review page

4.0

A lot of underlining - but also several things that made me question…??? I couldn’t decide between 3 or 4 stars. Not quite a 4 star book for me, but gave the benefit of the many highlights.

sde's review

Go to review page

4.0

A disclaimer: I have been listening to the authors' podcast for years and am a patron, so I am familiar with much of the discussion behind what went into this book. It is difficult for me to determine how someone who has never listened to the podcast would enjoy the book. The podcast, especially the premium content, is more meaty than the book, so if you enjoy the book, I highly recommend the podcast.

The book is useful in reframing readers' thinking of the ongoing political and cultural divide and to think about the future and the fate of US society more optimistically. We tend to be fatalistic these days, and the book provides a good reframing of our current situation. We have lots of things going right, and we are not as divided as we think!

There are interludes in the book where the authors illustrate their points with personal examples. They also provide thought points throughout for readers to stop and think about how what they just read might apply in their own lives. These make the book seem like more of a conversation with friends than a heavy read.

I appreciated the chapter on friendships. Friendships are important in our lives, but how to navigate them and make them stronger is rarely discussed. The authors discuss how to talk about things with friends we disagree with and how different people provide different sorts of friendships. This is important to remember.

The part of the book that was the most useful to me was the section on community institutions, such as government agencies, churches, and non-profits. I had an aha moment when the authors talked about how we lately tend to look at these sorts of institutions as consumers and see them only as a product - what can they do for us? Where else can I "shop" if I don't like what it is doing for me? From the book: "When we reduce the institution to a product, we see it as distinct and different from ourselves and our participation in it. . . The 'customer is always right' mentality gets worse when we are also giving financially to our institutions."

For years, I was heavily involved with the schools in my city. I would get frustrated with people coming to School Board or PTA meetings complaining vociferously about one thing that affected their kid without thinking about how such a change might positively affect the larger school community. I see the same thing now as the parent of a college student - parents complaining about this or that thing without thinking about the staff members, faculty, and other students who are affected by such a thing or how much extra work will be involved to do the thing that they want done. I don't mean that people shouldn't complain or should accept things as they are. I have seen many positive changes when parents made pointed demands. But those changes usually came when a number of parents and staff members worked together to see the big picture and figure out where changes should be made. So like the book says - looking at the situation as a participant and not just a consumer.

I read this book on the heels of reading [b:I Never Thought of It That Way|59433346|I Never Thought of It That Way|Monica Guzmán|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1634949660l/59433346._SX50_.jpg|93615837]. Both provide examples on how to talk with people we disagree with, but that latter was much more in-depth. This book is more on how to think about things yourself. They are good companion volumes.

Oh, and I heard somewhere that the authors asked that the hardcover book not have a dust jacket. As someone who has worked with books for a long time, I am used to hardcovers that come this way being low budget or not well edited, but that doesn't seem to be the case with this book. (They say you can't judge a book by it's cover, but in the case of actual books, that is often not true!)

mychaelann's review

Go to review page

5.0

I am a regular listener to Sarah & Beth on their Pantsuit Politics podcast. This was a great deep dive on what we bring to our disagreements - political or otherwise. Some of my favorite takeaways: how families of origin impact us, leaving our consumer mindset at the door of our churches, schools, and non-profits. The importance of local community and how to deal with overwhelm.

steph_pollock's review against another edition

Go to review page

hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.0

cosmicbookworm's review

Go to review page

4.0

Written by podcasters, whom I have yet to listen to. Encourages us to be participants rather than consumers and be patiently in relationship with one another. Strengthen connection by recognizing that our unique identities are what bring us together. "We honor the specialness of each human being, be it our parent or our president, by letting it exist and not demanding conformity. We honor the divine in others and ourselves." Agreement is not the goal. Connection is the goal. A thought provoking read.

cook_memorial_public_library's review

Go to review page

4.0

A 2022 staff favorite recommended by Erica. Check our catalog: https://encore.cooklib.org/iii/encore/search/C__Snow%20whatPw%3D%3D%20stewart%20holland__Orightresult__U?lang=eng&suite=gold

darthchrista's review

Go to review page

5.0

We can't free ourselves of all the forces that create different expectations among our family members. We can try to see them, label them, and keep them in mind when we're responding to conflict so that when political conflict does enter the room, we are more prepared. 37

This book was very practical and helpful.

jassyrobes83's review against another edition

Go to review page

hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

kp5005's review against another edition

Go to review page

hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.25

mrsleighmath's review

Go to review page

5.0

Read this book!
Read it if you've experienced conflict withit your family, friend circle, organization, or workplace.
Read it if you're stuck in believing that the best solution to a conflict is to "fix it".

Beth and Sarah outline the reasons that connections are the solutions and that conflict is inevitable.

The chapters on parenting, friendship, and community were the most relatable, but Chapter 7 contains the most important reminder in my opinion - Governing isn't politics, and politics isn't government.

This is a fresh take on acknowledging the political without letting it consume us wholly.