Reviews tagging 'Domestic abuse'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

26 reviews

marissasa's review against another edition

emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

With a title like You Exist Too Much, I knew this book would revolve around trauma. What I didn't expect was for our main character to be so deeply toxic and messy along the way to healing. The most compelling part about this book to me was the mother-daughter dynamic and how layered it was with their Palestinian immigrant identities and the daughter's queerness. However, I found a lot of the rest of the book a bit dull and repetitive, specifically the way that each of the main character's romantic relationships was detailed. She repeated the same mistakes or fell into the same toxic habits in each relationship and it felt like the story unnecessarily hammering home a fact about the main character (that she has a love addiction) that we already knew from the start since the book is told out of chronological order. While I loved the representation of her journey with bisexuality and her struggles with her mother, overall this book didn't leave as much of a lasting impression on me as I hoped.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcohol, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Racism, Sexual content, Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Infidelity, Biphobia, Toxic relationship, Xenophobia, Cursing, Domestic abuse, and Homophobia

emma_ekb's review

challenging hopeful reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

complicated female characters, mommy issues, recommended to fans of “my year of rest and relaxation”

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder

Minor: Child abuse and Domestic abuse

rhi_'s review

challenging reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Biphobia, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Toxic relationship, and Infidelity

Moderate: Eating disorder, Sexual content, Toxic friendship, and Mental illness

Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Physical abuse, Alcohol, Alcoholism, and Drug abuse

keirahelena_'s review against another edition

emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse and Emotional abuse

Minor: Self harm

mscalls's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Genocide, Infidelity, Outing, Toxic relationship, Islamophobia, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Lesbophobia, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Colonisation, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, and Eating disorder

x_bookworm_x's review against another edition

2.0

Filled me with pure rage. So deeply unsatisfied with the ending. The stint at the rehab facility achieves nothing and we never see her actually try to work through her issues with her mother. 
The book itself was well written and I enjoyed the flashbacks to her childhood visiting family in Palestine but I just felt so disappointed that nothing seemed to be resolved at the end.  

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Homophobia, and Drug abuse

lexkoi's review against another edition

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Eating disorder, Infidelity, and Sexual content

Moderate: Addiction, Biphobia, Outing, Mental illness, and Emotional abuse

Minor: Suicide, Misogyny, Death, War, Pregnancy, Lesbophobia, Drug abuse, Cursing, Alcohol, Domestic abuse, Colonisation, Abandonment, and Xenophobia

erinalt90's review against another edition

challenging medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

I really had high hopes for this book. It had a great start and moved fast. around 40% it started to get slow and by 60% not only was it boring but it was a completely different book. I think Arafat is a great writer but she seems more like a short story/anthology writer. 
The ending is disappointing and the book overall is just - sporadic? I don't know. It doesn't work in my opinion. 
I never read reviews for books before/during. But all the reviews who also gave it around 2-3.5 stars I agree with completely. 
There were also tiny conflicting details/inconsistencies in the set up/characters. At one point someone is referred to as a "classmate" and three sentences later - while talking about the same character- they are referred to as "coworker." They are small little details but there are enough of them that they start to add up. 
TW: potential child abuse
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There was also an entire section with another character and pregnancy/child fetish played a role and it was just- weird. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Classism, Colonisation, Cultural appropriation, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, and Gaslighting

bybookandbone's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

What a superb book!
You Exist Too Much kept me engaged right until the end. I found it a difficult read in the beginning as I really dislike cheating and cheaters. Zaina Arafat did a fantastic job writing a sympathetic character working on herself, struggling from a kinda crappy person to a healthy person who respect's her partners. I still felt very strongly for Anna. She didn't deserve what she got. 
You know, I only just realised that we never learn the protagonist's name when I came to write this review... She was so completely realised that I never even noticed that she was 'Laila's daughter' for almost the whole book. 

While I normally would be uncomfortable with a bisexual character written as a chronic cheater, there is a depth here, an exploration of her trauma that explains why. Her sexuality would have made little difference to that expression of her trauma, though she wouldn't have obsessed with older women in quite the same way. The depiction of a psychologically abusive mother was also superb. Instead of being outright vilified, you understand that there's much more to Laila, having grown up in Palestine during occupation. I also appreciated that not all of her daughter's trauma was lain at her feet. 

I wish there had been more exploration of Anouk's relationship with the character. After so much trauma and sadness, the calm, healthy love needed more space.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse

Moderate: Colonisation

Minor: Biphobia, Domestic abuse, and Racism

kierscrivener's review against another edition

challenging emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

I am not completely sure how I feel about it. I expected something vastly different. The title and the synopsis really focuses on her relationship with her mother, heritage and sexuality. And it was. It did advertise vignettes, but I guess it was told a little too progressively to be snippets and too scattered to feel progression.

We follow a twenties something bi Palestinian woman as she navigates a breakup and her constant need to go for the unattainable and to cheat out of fear. We see beautiful and poignant moments throughout but there's something missing. And it might be what I came in looking and didn't see. But we see her acting out and reacting because of fears and insecurity, and her realization of her own mother's trauma but I never feel like she ever fully lowers her guards, and the end has some poignancy but not enough to feel resolved or as if this is a stepping off point.

I love quiet stories but I like when we explore things and she never quite had enough introspection or conversation to fully invest me.

I enjoyed my way throughout and would definitely give Arafat another book 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Racism, Misogyny, Islamophobia, Infidelity, and Biphobia

Moderate: Eating disorder, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Addiction, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse

Minor: Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts