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From as young as he can remember, J has always known he was supposed to be a boy. It was easy for him to act and dress like a boy during his childhood, but as puberty set in, J began to have more and more trouble hiding the person his body projected that he was. Many people in his life – his mother, father, and best friend Melissa – think of him not as a male, but as a lesbian – something J can’t understand. After a misunderstood night between he and Melissa goes horribly wrong, J stops going to school and eventually runs away, hoping that he will be able to find somewhere to live and a source of income for testosterone shots and a real chest binder. As J’s story progresses and more people find out about his transgender status, his own emotional turmoil over who he really is becomes more and more difficult. Though many around him begin to recognize and acknowledge his presence as a male, he somehow has trouble reconciling their acceptance of him. It is here that the novel’s both shines and falls apart – J’s difficulty is quite understandable, yet Beam’s rapid portrayal of her character’s swiftly changing emotions is difficult to follow as real sentiment.
This book begins its bombshells as early as the second page, ensuring that its readers are hooked right from the get-go. Unfortunately, the hook begins to loosen as the book goes on, and the novel seems to slip away from its strong beginning. The rapid bombshells that fall in the first fifth of the book – most importantly, J kisses his best friend while she is asleep, causing her to feel he has betrayed her - peter out as J begins to attempt to take control of his own life and change his body. His departure from school and family without notice brings his ex-best friend Melissa running back to him in worry and apology, his mother works to accept what she thinks is just homosexuality, and J begins psychiatric treatment. J spends one truant day Googling female to male surgery – something he says he’s done over and over again, for years, and discovers the use of testosterone shots and chest binders for the first time – something I find very difficult to believe. Though J is absolutely sure that no one will ever be able to understand his feelings, within just a few sentences he’s verbalizing what he thought could never be said aloud – before clamming up again. The novel is very fast-paced; time moves extremely quickly from chapter to chapter, yet it drags on. Ellen Wittlinger’s Parrotfish is a much stronger novel about a transgender teen. The one step I am J has over Parrotfish is that to the reader, J has always been a “he” – in Wittlinger’s novel, Angela, the main character, begins the novel as a girl, within a few chapters buckling up her resolve to turn into the boy she’s always known she was – Grady. For those with perhaps no exposure to anything transgender, Beam’s approach may be more accessible – but overall, Wittlinger’s novel will provide a more realistic portrayal of the difficult emotions accompanying such a change.
Overall, I was rather disappointed with this book, but would still recommend it to teens looking for a novel on GLBT experience.
Flags for younger readers: brief pot smoking, mention of freshman selling oral sex at a party, J is a heavy cigarette smoker. No further use or mention of heavy language, explicit discussion of body parts, or sexual acts other than kissing.
This book begins its bombshells as early as the second page, ensuring that its readers are hooked right from the get-go. Unfortunately, the hook begins to loosen as the book goes on, and the novel seems to slip away from its strong beginning. The rapid bombshells that fall in the first fifth of the book – most importantly, J kisses his best friend while she is asleep, causing her to feel he has betrayed her - peter out as J begins to attempt to take control of his own life and change his body. His departure from school and family without notice brings his ex-best friend Melissa running back to him in worry and apology, his mother works to accept what she thinks is just homosexuality, and J begins psychiatric treatment. J spends one truant day Googling female to male surgery – something he says he’s done over and over again, for years, and discovers the use of testosterone shots and chest binders for the first time – something I find very difficult to believe. Though J is absolutely sure that no one will ever be able to understand his feelings, within just a few sentences he’s verbalizing what he thought could never be said aloud – before clamming up again. The novel is very fast-paced; time moves extremely quickly from chapter to chapter, yet it drags on. Ellen Wittlinger’s Parrotfish is a much stronger novel about a transgender teen. The one step I am J has over Parrotfish is that to the reader, J has always been a “he” – in Wittlinger’s novel, Angela, the main character, begins the novel as a girl, within a few chapters buckling up her resolve to turn into the boy she’s always known she was – Grady. For those with perhaps no exposure to anything transgender, Beam’s approach may be more accessible – but overall, Wittlinger’s novel will provide a more realistic portrayal of the difficult emotions accompanying such a change.
Overall, I was rather disappointed with this book, but would still recommend it to teens looking for a novel on GLBT experience.
Flags for younger readers: brief pot smoking, mention of freshman selling oral sex at a party, J is a heavy cigarette smoker. No further use or mention of heavy language, explicit discussion of body parts, or sexual acts other than kissing.
It was a decent book, articulate, realistic, but I found the main character pretty dang unlikeable and the entire book is absolutely humorless.
I'm glad a book like this exists for the sake of representation. However, the writing and plot leave a little to be desired -- it feels very basic and juvenile, even for the age level the book is intended for. Overall it is an enjoyable, quick read and think it's very important that it exists.
Well written for the most part, but it just kept pissing me off with false information and conflicting statements.
DNF- literally got 1 chapter in and couldn't continue. In chapter one alone their was misogyny, lesphobia and a general lack of character from the mc. I maybe should have given it more time but truly I couldn't.
DO NOT RECOMEND
DO NOT RECOMEND
This was one of the first books I read that showed the trans experience. When I first read it, I saw it as an important story and I definitely appreciated seeing a trans character in a YA book. Over time and with more knowledge of trans issues, I am not as excited about the book so I have revised my rating down.
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Gut Instinct Rating - 4
Story Line - 5
Writing Style - 3.5
Characters - 4.5
Excitement Factor - 3
Believability for type and topics - 5
Similarity to other books - 5
Dust Jacket Art - 4
Title Relevance - 5
When J struggles with her gender identity, J starts to make changes, from his appearance, to his personality - J becomes he in mind and soul. But he struggles with the ability to become a male by way of hormone levels and body parts.
You may like this book if you like the following sub-genres:
GBLT
Transgender Stories
Coming of Age
Identity
This book wasn't fabulous, and I won't remember a week from now what all happened. But what I do know is that this was an excellent introduction to the GBLT, specifically the trans community. I would've only given this 4-stars, so I'm not surprised that my overall rating was a 4.33. I will only briefly discuss this book because I think it's something I will be recommending often for those questioning their gender, or who may be struggling with their identity and how transgender means different things.
The story line was great. The author (which she discusses in her author notes at the end) had first-hand experience, and research regarding transitioning and the transgender community. I was nervous this would be written out of perspective, so I was really pleased that there was background information.
This was her first fiction work, and it was (honestly) apparent. The writing style was long-winded. It felt more like a memoir than work of fiction, which just isn't something I enjoy. The chapters were like, 20 pages long with lots of 'chapter' breaks. And I would've rather seen smaller chapters that were noted by a moment/event, etc. I also noticed that there were flashbacks but it wasn't always clear when those started or stopped. It wasn't really clear how much time elapsed from start to finish, either. I mean, we had markers, but we went from Christmas to Spring in what felt like a few pages.
The story itself wasn't exciting, but it was a great story with a unique starting-and-stopping point (although, I would've been happier with less fluff and more about J's experience). It was a boring story overall with "highlight" moments. Which leads to character development. It was really well done, but being transgender, and starting the transitioning process, that effects everyone in that person's life - friends, coworkers, fellow students, family. I would've loved to see a bit more, especially from J's parents. I'm not sure if the author wanted to keep it isolated to J, but it would've been valuable to see their individual growth stories. I also found Melissa's character incredibly annoying, which was one of the main characters, so I would've liked less of her nonsense and more of her relationship with J, as female, and J, as male.
Gut Instinct Rating - 4
Story Line - 5
Writing Style - 3.5
Characters - 4.5
Excitement Factor - 3
Believability for type and topics - 5
Similarity to other books - 5
Dust Jacket Art - 4
Title Relevance - 5
When J struggles with her gender identity, J starts to make changes, from his appearance, to his personality - J becomes he in mind and soul. But he struggles with the ability to become a male by way of hormone levels and body parts.
You may like this book if you like the following sub-genres:
GBLT
Transgender Stories
Coming of Age
Identity
This book wasn't fabulous, and I won't remember a week from now what all happened. But what I do know is that this was an excellent introduction to the GBLT, specifically the trans community. I would've only given this 4-stars, so I'm not surprised that my overall rating was a 4.33. I will only briefly discuss this book because I think it's something I will be recommending often for those questioning their gender, or who may be struggling with their identity and how transgender means different things.
The story line was great. The author (which she discusses in her author notes at the end) had first-hand experience, and research regarding transitioning and the transgender community. I was nervous this would be written out of perspective, so I was really pleased that there was background information.
This was her first fiction work, and it was (honestly) apparent. The writing style was long-winded. It felt more like a memoir than work of fiction, which just isn't something I enjoy. The chapters were like, 20 pages long with lots of 'chapter' breaks. And I would've rather seen smaller chapters that were noted by a moment/event, etc. I also noticed that there were flashbacks but it wasn't always clear when those started or stopped. It wasn't really clear how much time elapsed from start to finish, either. I mean, we had markers, but we went from Christmas to Spring in what felt like a few pages.
The story itself wasn't exciting, but it was a great story with a unique starting-and-stopping point (although, I would've been happier with less fluff and more about J's experience). It was a boring story overall with "highlight" moments. Which leads to character development. It was really well done, but being transgender, and starting the transitioning process, that effects everyone in that person's life - friends, coworkers, fellow students, family. I would've loved to see a bit more, especially from J's parents. I'm not sure if the author wanted to keep it isolated to J, but it would've been valuable to see their individual growth stories. I also found Melissa's character incredibly annoying, which was one of the main characters, so I would've liked less of her nonsense and more of her relationship with J, as female, and J, as male.
Important topic. But I had a hard time getting involved with the story. It seemed very distant - not quite didactic, but almost like a book report.
A good story that I'm glad is out there for more people to understand what transgender teens are going through.