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I think this is a really important book for young people, it was just personally really hard for me to watch a young transmasculine person go through a lot of hurt and personal struggle on his journey over the course of a year. I think maybe if I had read this... NOT during Extremely Bad World Events I would've reacted less strongly to the hardships in the book?
I read this following Kheryn Callender's FELIX EVER AFTER, which mentions I AM J as a resource and book that was eye-opening, gender-wise, so again I think it would be really helpful for lots of people! It was just tough for me personally to read at this moment.
I read this following Kheryn Callender's FELIX EVER AFTER, which mentions I AM J as a resource and book that was eye-opening, gender-wise, so again I think it would be really helpful for lots of people! It was just tough for me personally to read at this moment.
This is a simple story which helps in illustrating some of the struggles transgender teens face. It's target audience is young adults which means you won't find too much on genderqueer (or however you call it) politics in it. It addresses some issues teenagers face, but very lightly and it doesn't explain the resolution of certain conflicts in a satisfactory way.
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
N/A
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
N/A
Very outdated now as it’s from 2011 but definitely a ground breaking read in its time. 🖤
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Sympathetic and realistic portrayal of a transgender teen.
I like it for its representation but I didn't actually enjoy reading this. Not for any political reasons, I just didn't love the characterization.
The main reason I am giving this book three rather than four stars is because I feel as though the time in my life during which I read this book lessened its impact on me. I think if I read this book my senior year of high school or even at the beginning of college, it would've made more of an impact on my life. However, as a seasoned queer reader, I still believe this story had a good deal to offer. It's so important for young queer readers, allies, and perhaps older readers who don't have much exposure to transgender communities and knowledge of transgender experience.
There were many things I enjoyed, first being the familial drama. J a very trans/homophobic father and his mother is supportive even though she is confused and afraid. The book portrays a realistic conflict in different parenting styles and values that come out when parents are tested with something like coming to terms with a queer child. Throughout the book J knows he may be disappointing his mother by transitioning, but realizes, "maybe all kids disappoint their mothers in the end" (251). That's something any reader can find solace in, queer or not.
I loved the complex relationships between J and different women in the book. I like the exploration of not only J's experience of gender but the sexualities of the women in his life. J has issues coming to terms with his gender identity, but once he finds out what "transgender" means, he knows that's what he is. He has also always known he's liked women but had always been very uncomfortable with the label of lesbian. He loves women as a man. His main relationships with women are his best friend Melissa, who he has been close to his whole life; a girl who doesn't know he's trans named Blue, who he meets and gets into a romantic relationship with fairly quickly; and Chanelle, a transgirl he meets at school who acts as somewhat of a misguided a mentor for J. All of these relationships are realistic and help illuminate the complexities of J's identity but also the complexities of gender and sexuality in general.
Melissa and J are as close as can be, and at the outset of the book J has been in love with her for a while, before he realizes he is trans. We learn that Melissa is confused about how she feels for J. They kiss one night and she freaks out and blames him and tells him that she is not a lesbian and just wants to be friends. Later in the book we learn that Melissa actually is attracted to J, but only at the times when she perceives him as a man. This is a surprisingly complex yet accessible way of looking at attraction because it implies that simple categories of "gay," "lesbian," and "straight" do nothing to help explain Melissa's experience.
The book implies that loving a transperson can have the effect of showing how constructed gender is and how societal definitions and categories are suffocating because they do little to explain what it is to be a desiring being. Melissa only experiences attraction to J when she perceives him as more masculine, but we are left to debate over whether that is because of internalized homo/bi-phobia, that she cannot "go there" and allow herself to be attracted to someone born female; or if it is simply because she only feels attracted to masculinity and thus only attracted to J when she perceives him as more masculine. There are no easy answers, and this is only further complicated by the fact that the book takes place before J physically transitions; this is a book about liminality.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is Blue who has no idea J is trans and therefore loves him and is attracted to him as a cisman. This is ideal for J at first but then he slowly realizes that keeping his GI from Blue is leading her to feel distanced and unwanted because so much of what he is going through and dealing with on a day-to-day basis is a result of his gender, e.g., being homeless, dropping out of his school, going to therapy, getting T, etc. J realizes at the end of their relationship that he was more in love with the way Blue made him feel than he was with her. Their relationship was built on secrecy and J lying about many areas of his life not limited to gender. He "wasn't sure if he loved Blue or if he loved the way she saw him-- as a male named Jason... a heterosexual, normal guy, whatever that was" (284).
Melissa seems to represent J being perceived as a liminal body in transition while Blue perceives him as a normative cisman, and Chanelle is able to empathize with J as they're both transgender. Exploring both how J feels "inside" and how others perceptions of him affect him is really important. It's a nuanced thing to be able to see J explore the difference between being loved as a man v a woman, and the difference between him loving as a man and a woman.
Then there are the other things I liked; J's journal he keeps to record his observations of men; the juxtaposition of Melissa's self harm and J's journey; J's reluctance to go to a support group for transmen; discussions of toxic masculinity, J struggling to be a "man" but also fighting against misogyny and the unemotional, indifferent, and careless ways men treat women they "love."
I really appreciated getting to know J as liminal character, on the threshold of transition, of coming of age, of being half Jewish and half catholic Puerto Rican, of trying not to kill certain "feminine" parts of himself to be a man.
The one thing I didn't like that really stuck out was that J's neighbor kind of swoops in as J comes out to to defend his identity to his mother. Up until that point we have no idea this neighbor has any affiliation with the queer community and it just seemed like a cop out to have a character swoop in and save the day and reveal that she has a trans nephew and former trans neighbors. It seemed out of place and too good of a coincidence.
I've seen other reviewers very angry about J's homophobia, and I have to defend this. Being transgender does NOT equate to being gay, or even queer for that matter. J wanted to be a "normal" cis straight guy and his disdain about being called a "dyke," and even referring to himself using that word, was a product of internalized homophobia due to others mislabeling him as a lesbian and a woman. So while it's not right that J used that language (and also called a woman a "bitch" at one point) should be read as an indicator of the toxic masculinity straight cis men (or ASPIRING "normal" straight men) must navigate. We know that J never felt comfortable with or identified with gays and lesbians in his life. He meets many queer peers and doesn't connect with any of them, because his experience as a transman is vastly different than their experiences of gay and/or lesbian subjectivity.
Overall, this book makes very complex issues accessible for a wide audience. I can imagine what a gift this book is especially for younger queer kids to read
There were many things I enjoyed, first being the familial drama. J a very trans/homophobic father and his mother is supportive even though she is confused and afraid. The book portrays a realistic conflict in different parenting styles and values that come out when parents are tested with something like coming to terms with a queer child. Throughout the book J knows he may be disappointing his mother by transitioning, but realizes, "maybe all kids disappoint their mothers in the end" (251). That's something any reader can find solace in, queer or not.
I loved the complex relationships between J and different women in the book. I like the exploration of not only J's experience of gender but the sexualities of the women in his life. J has issues coming to terms with his gender identity, but once he finds out what "transgender" means, he knows that's what he is. He has also always known he's liked women but had always been very uncomfortable with the label of lesbian. He loves women as a man. His main relationships with women are his best friend Melissa, who he has been close to his whole life; a girl who doesn't know he's trans named Blue, who he meets and gets into a romantic relationship with fairly quickly; and Chanelle, a transgirl he meets at school who acts as somewhat of a misguided a mentor for J. All of these relationships are realistic and help illuminate the complexities of J's identity but also the complexities of gender and sexuality in general.
Melissa and J are as close as can be, and at the outset of the book J has been in love with her for a while, before he realizes he is trans. We learn that Melissa is confused about how she feels for J. They kiss one night and she freaks out and blames him and tells him that she is not a lesbian and just wants to be friends. Later in the book we learn that Melissa actually is attracted to J, but only at the times when she perceives him as a man. This is a surprisingly complex yet accessible way of looking at attraction because it implies that simple categories of "gay," "lesbian," and "straight" do nothing to help explain Melissa's experience.
The book implies that loving a transperson can have the effect of showing how constructed gender is and how societal definitions and categories are suffocating because they do little to explain what it is to be a desiring being. Melissa only experiences attraction to J when she perceives him as more masculine, but we are left to debate over whether that is because of internalized homo/bi-phobia, that she cannot "go there" and allow herself to be attracted to someone born female; or if it is simply because she only feels attracted to masculinity and thus only attracted to J when she perceives him as more masculine. There are no easy answers, and this is only further complicated by the fact that the book takes place before J physically transitions; this is a book about liminality.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is Blue who has no idea J is trans and therefore loves him and is attracted to him as a cisman. This is ideal for J at first but then he slowly realizes that keeping his GI from Blue is leading her to feel distanced and unwanted because so much of what he is going through and dealing with on a day-to-day basis is a result of his gender, e.g., being homeless, dropping out of his school, going to therapy, getting T, etc. J realizes at the end of their relationship that he was more in love with the way Blue made him feel than he was with her. Their relationship was built on secrecy and J lying about many areas of his life not limited to gender. He "wasn't sure if he loved Blue or if he loved the way she saw him-- as a male named Jason... a heterosexual, normal guy, whatever that was" (284).
Melissa seems to represent J being perceived as a liminal body in transition while Blue perceives him as a normative cisman, and Chanelle is able to empathize with J as they're both transgender. Exploring both how J feels "inside" and how others perceptions of him affect him is really important. It's a nuanced thing to be able to see J explore the difference between being loved as a man v a woman, and the difference between him loving as a man and a woman.
Then there are the other things I liked; J's journal he keeps to record his observations of men; the juxtaposition of Melissa's self harm and J's journey; J's reluctance to go to a support group for transmen; discussions of toxic masculinity, J struggling to be a "man" but also fighting against misogyny and the unemotional, indifferent, and careless ways men treat women they "love."
I really appreciated getting to know J as liminal character, on the threshold of transition, of coming of age, of being half Jewish and half catholic Puerto Rican, of trying not to kill certain "feminine" parts of himself to be a man.
The one thing I didn't like that really stuck out was that J's neighbor kind of swoops in as J comes out to to defend his identity to his mother. Up until that point we have no idea this neighbor has any affiliation with the queer community and it just seemed like a cop out to have a character swoop in and save the day and reveal that she has a trans nephew and former trans neighbors. It seemed out of place and too good of a coincidence.
I've seen other reviewers very angry about J's homophobia, and I have to defend this. Being transgender does NOT equate to being gay, or even queer for that matter. J wanted to be a "normal" cis straight guy and his disdain about being called a "dyke," and even referring to himself using that word, was a product of internalized homophobia due to others mislabeling him as a lesbian and a woman. So while it's not right that J used that language (and also called a woman a "bitch" at one point) should be read as an indicator of the toxic masculinity straight cis men (or ASPIRING "normal" straight men) must navigate. We know that J never felt comfortable with or identified with gays and lesbians in his life. He meets many queer peers and doesn't connect with any of them, because his experience as a transman is vastly different than their experiences of gay and/or lesbian subjectivity.
Overall, this book makes very complex issues accessible for a wide audience. I can imagine what a gift this book is especially for younger queer kids to read
Wow. I knew it must be harder than I can imagine to be a transgender person, but I never even thought about difficult awkward possibilities such as what gender to put on one's college application or deciding which bathroom to use. Geez.
En soit c'était grave cool à lire mais je déteste le perso principal il est ultra égoïste je trouve oups
This is good, but it reads a little too much like an exercise in a gender or sexual studies course, or maybe psychology. J is a teen who's always felt like a boy, but is biologically female, and basically the book is about his struggle to accept what that means for him and figure out how to live with being transgendered, and how to make his family and friends accept him for who he is. I do have to say, that painful though J's struggles are, I think he has it pretty easy under the circumstances--there's always a reassuring person around to help when things look really bad, and the bad only lasts a couple of months--and I wondering if this book would be reassuring to a questioning teen, or whether it might set unrealistic expectations.