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It was a great book but didnt really seem to go anywhere ... I like the little twist at the end but wish it ended differently.
4.5 stars
I am so glad I read this book. I support all lifestyles; however, transgender (as well as the idea of other gender variance) is one I knew about only in definition and was so happy to learn more about it through Cris Beam's novel.
I am so glad I read this book. I support all lifestyles; however, transgender (as well as the idea of other gender variance) is one I knew about only in definition and was so happy to learn more about it through Cris Beam's novel.
This is the fifth or sixth book that I've read about a transgender teen, and it stands out from all of the others. J has always felt like he was "assigned" the female gender. He has always considered himself to be boy but has never told anyone. This book truly put me in J's position. I felt nervous, anxious, and disappointed right along with him. At points, it made me disgusted with how terribly cruel the world can be. The story was realistic, heartfelt, and powerful. My only (very minor) complaint is that the third person point of view was a bit awkward at times, with several sentences starting with "J." This is a book that can enact change. I feel fortunate to have read it.
I've read a few books that focused on trans characters, and this is the best one so far. As a trans guy (like J), I find that other books, even sometimes just from the synopses, feel like they were written by a cisgender (not trans) person in order to educate other cisgender people. Even books that aren't that way sometimes have innacurate terms or have trans people say things that they should've known were not okay to say. This book absolutely feels like is written with the trans community as the intended readers, not just for people trying to learn about it. Other books tend to have innacuracies about transitioning, or just family situations that don't make sense. This book did really well in both. His school situation was believable, and the family situation felt very real.
There was really only one thing about this book that I found odd:
A couple scenes I really liked:
- When J gets frustrated over the realization that everyone thinks he's a lesbian
- When the nurse tells J that he needs a therapists' letter for T, and he says, "I don't need therapy, I just need T"
- After J gets his shot, he's kind of underwhelmed, and then he's ecstatic, both over T and being with his friends
- The scene where Carolina and J are fighting over Carolina needing more time and her lying to J, including when Carolina stammers and says "mijo" instead of "mija"
There was really only one thing about this book that I found odd:
Spoiler
J was able to pass as a teen/young adult male after not very long. He has known he's trans for a long time, and that gives him time to work on his voice, but lowering your voice enough to pass consistently as an adult (most trans guys who pass early on get perceived as young boys) was the only thing I found difficult to believe. Voice training, especially for trans guys, is very difficult and takes a long time.A couple scenes I really liked:
Spoiler
- When J gets frustrated over the realization that everyone thinks he's a lesbian
- When the nurse tells J that he needs a therapists' letter for T, and he says, "I don't need therapy, I just need T"
- After J gets his shot, he's kind of underwhelmed, and then he's ecstatic, both over T and being with his friends
- The scene where Carolina and J are fighting over Carolina needing more time and her lying to J, including when Carolina stammers and says "mijo" instead of "mija"
I've just finished Luna by Julie Anne Peters and Beast by Brie Spangler, so I was excited to get a book involving trans characters that would be from the perspective of the trans person themselves.
This book in particular was a love/hate relationship for me. So in no particular order, here's my thoughts on the book as a whole.
1. J is a very angry and very sad person who assumes the worst in everyone before he even starts to ask their perspective. The glass is not half empty - there is no glass and no water and everyone is out to squash him before he's even told them who he is. He has no regard for how his words and actions impact others. He's supposed to be 17 so this might be on brand for teenage angst, but he need a LOT of therapy to learn to communicate with intent because this behavior, even until the end of the novel, is just piss poor. He abused his best friend under the guise of love and then gaslit her into thinking it was her own issue. I didn't like J as a person at all.
2. The character growth across the board was very slow going and didn't make you want to root for anyone in particular. The end left something to be desired when it comes to character growth, slapping a band-aid on everyone's trauma and trying to paint a happy ending. It didn't feel like I saw any growth or acknowledgement of the transphobia.
3. The homophobia in this book is astounding. Like I said above, J does need a lot of therapy to get over his anger and resentment towards himself and those around him, I'm fully aware of this. I just feel like his homophobia went on for faaaar longer than it should have for someone going to a queer-friendly school and entering a LGBTQ world.
4. I liked the writing a lot. I did, it was good it was real and the building of concepts into words was mesmerizing many times throughout the book. The perspective and bluntness really did hit home. Here are some examples:
" When I was a baby I didn't hate myself. I only started when I learned I was a girl. A sadness trailed through J's belly like a thick steam; he felt queasy. I learned to hate my body because of other people. "
"J felt as if he were at the edge of one of his construction sites, staring at the deep hole in the earth that always came before the building. People forgot about the excavation once the building went up, once the shiny windows and elevators and rooftop terraces made the edifice seem so permanent, so entitled to its height and stature. But beneath the building was still the deep cut in the land that allowed for its growth, the hollow space that was once mulchy and dense. And where did all that dirt go, once it had been dug up and hauled away? J didn't know."
This book in particular was a love/hate relationship for me. So in no particular order, here's my thoughts on the book as a whole.
1. J is a very angry and very sad person who assumes the worst in everyone before he even starts to ask their perspective. The glass is not half empty - there is no glass and no water and everyone is out to squash him before he's even told them who he is. He has no regard for how his words and actions impact others. He's supposed to be 17 so this might be on brand for teenage angst, but he need a LOT of therapy to learn to communicate with intent because this behavior, even until the end of the novel, is just piss poor. He abused his best friend under the guise of love and then gaslit her into thinking it was her own issue. I didn't like J as a person at all.
2. The character growth across the board was very slow going and didn't make you want to root for anyone in particular. The end left something to be desired when it comes to character growth, slapping a band-aid on everyone's trauma and trying to paint a happy ending. It didn't feel like I saw any growth or acknowledgement of the transphobia.
3. The homophobia in this book is astounding. Like I said above, J does need a lot of therapy to get over his anger and resentment towards himself and those around him, I'm fully aware of this. I just feel like his homophobia went on for faaaar longer than it should have for someone going to a queer-friendly school and entering a LGBTQ world.
4. I liked the writing a lot. I did, it was good it was real and the building of concepts into words was mesmerizing many times throughout the book. The perspective and bluntness really did hit home. Here are some examples:
Spoiler
" When I was a baby I didn't hate myself. I only started when I learned I was a girl. A sadness trailed through J's belly like a thick steam; he felt queasy. I learned to hate my body because of other people. "
"J felt as if he were at the edge of one of his construction sites, staring at the deep hole in the earth that always came before the building. People forgot about the excavation once the building went up, once the shiny windows and elevators and rooftop terraces made the edifice seem so permanent, so entitled to its height and stature. But beneath the building was still the deep cut in the land that allowed for its growth, the hollow space that was once mulchy and dense. And where did all that dirt go, once it had been dug up and hauled away? J didn't know."
There aren't many YA novels about transgender teens, and I'm sure glad this one exists - it doesn't shy away from how brutally difficult it is to grow up feeling like you're in the wrong body, especially when being a teenager amplifies body issues times a thousand. I didn't always like J as a narrator, but I think that was the point. This book made me think.
Really liked this one - it's timely and different and seemed realistic to me. I think it'd be a great book for transgendered teens, and just a great read for anyone else to get a fictionalized perspective of what life is like for teens like this, and really how normal they are. A few times I felt like it was dragging a little bit, but it was well written and I liked the progression of the plot.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated