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3.88 AVERAGE
3.88 AVERAGE
as a bisexual person this was dissapointing. it was very millenial and cringy at times, made me roll my eyes alot. i guess maybe i would recommend it for someone who is not queer but interested to learn something? but even then this book has a very narrow view of things in my opinion.
This book is quietly affirming a lot of things I’ve felt too isolated to talk about with close friends about my own experiences. I really thank Jen Winston for her honesty, vulnerability, and humor. To be able to reflect candidly on traumatic experiences and the complexity and depth but also inherent lightness of her concept of self was something I really needed to read.
Cuffed jeans are bi culture. But that’s not all: finger guns? Bi culture. Bob haircuts? Bi culture. Lemon bars? Bi culture. Sitting in chairs wrong? Some say it’s cay culture, but according to reddit (and my lower back), it’s bi culture. (5)
I felt comfortable dating men—they were my regular commute, my status quo. Flirting with other genders took effort, and so dealing with my queerness became just another item on my perpetual to-do list, sandwiched between other things I’d never accomplish: meditate, dust, fix printer, come out, pay that one bill that won’t let you do it online. (8)
Lol at the entire chapter, “I masturbate wrong.”
That hackneyed comparison between nightclubs and churches stems from truth—in terms of worship, safety and refuge, gay dance floors had given me more than any cathedral ever could. These bars proved that having glory holes didn’t disqualify you from being a holy space—on the contrary: they were temples and then some, offering forgiveness, providing confessionals, and granting everyone permission to show up exactly as they were. (83)
Apparently videos that feature women hooking up with other women rarely get categorized as “bisexual.” Instead it’s almost always categorized as “lesbian.” This is because porn categories aren’t intended to reflect the sexuality of their actors, but to serve as reference points for the presumably cishet dudes at home watching. “Bisexual” does exist as a category, but if you look it up, you’ll notice that it again centers around the mail viewers sexuality, returning results for videos featuring one cis woman and two cis men. (97)
Lol at reference to Kamchatka on p 116, yep, Indiana
…it’s impossible to separate our queerness from Cole Craig’s backyard—to know if we’re attracted to women because of the male gaze or in spite of it; to determine whether our impulses stem from lust, objectification, a feeling of sisterhood, or all three. (119)
If I’d had a better grasp on these truths and had realized I wasn’t the center of the world, I might have gone easier on myself while figuring out my sexuality. I might have recognized that queerness isn’t about individual answers as much as collective questions. I might have understood queerness as a lens to help us envision the future: Did we really want to be “equal” by measure of a racist, sexist, monosexist society, or can we, perhaps, aim higher? (163)
Pre covid (October 2020) there were only 15 lesbian bars remaining across the US. (166)
“Ok, last thing: it’s kinda interesting to think that, to our friends and everyone else, we prob just seemed like a regular straight couple. I literally JUST NOW wrapped my head around the fact that our relationship was actually a “queer relationship”!!!!” (184)
I realized so many queer people had a story like this: After coming out they didn’t just get new sexual partners—they jettisoned their old lives and found new friend groups too. (201)
You don’t have to be an LGBTQ+ person to experience Queer Love. The only thing queer love requires is authenticity, and you can have that no matter who your partner(s) is/are. You can also lack it—being queer doesn’t inherently make you down-to-earth. (243)
When I say Queer Love, I mean love that makes its own rules. (244)
Concuerdo con las críticas, hay un momento que te cansas de leer el chisme de su vida amorosa, sí se siente como artículo de buzz feed o fanfic y sí es cuestionable todo el tema del racismo y cómo lo maneja, peroooo lo que rescato es el gran trabajo que hace en validar la bisexualidad en todas las formas posibles.
Fue como un abrazo a mi corazón, me dieron ganas de abrirme pero sólo con mis personas cercanas, porque también es realmente honesto con que compartir tu sexualidad no siempre es hermoso.
Otro aspecto que me gustó es los diferentes tipos de narraciones a lo largo del libro, es especial la parte titulada “Girl Crush: Clinical Observations”