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bonnieg's review against another edition
4.0
A very good combination of memoir, social science study, political polemic, history, and opinion piece on feminist theory (and the limitations set by its historical lack of intersectionality.) Lester does not acknowledge in any way the source of people's discomfort with gender nonconformity, and I think just glossing over that discussion limits this to a book that will be broadening to trans allies rather than people still trying to figure things out. One notable example, there is an acknowledgment that for some (certainly not all) gender nonconforming people there is body dysphoria. They then dismiss the possibility that there is a mental health concern with the statement that they is mentally ill, and this is different from their mental health struggles so clearly there is no connection. That sort of tautology (as if all mental health issues and every person's gender dysphoria is the same) weakens what is otherwise a compelling, edifying, and completely worthwhile read.
dotmakes's review against another edition
5.0
most caring, beautiful, empathic and loving book.
Listening to it felt like wearing a favourite jumper that just makes you feel so warm and good and safe.
Listening to it felt like wearing a favourite jumper that just makes you feel so warm and good and safe.
mvdmdms's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Very informative and challenging to preconceived ideas. I have a much better understanding of “gender” than before. Let the people be the people.
colinlusk's review against another edition
2.0
Pretty terrible. I've read a few memoirs by trans people lately and insofar as this is one, it's interesting because people's perspectives always are, but it's not really bringing anything new: it's just trotting out all the usual slogans that are repeated endlessly by people with carefully curated opinions: that puberty blockers are harmless and reversible, that trans people are simultaneously the most interesting and most persecuted people on earth, that gender is both a social construct and a vital part of a person's selfhood.
It's just a load of tired, empty, self-righteous, clichés in other words and I found myself muttering with irritation about it all. Read something by someone who has something interesting to say instead.
It's just a load of tired, empty, self-righteous, clichés in other words and I found myself muttering with irritation about it all. Read something by someone who has something interesting to say instead.
sarah__b's review against another edition
4.0
Essential reading! I learned so much and although I didn't understand completely everything it was very accesible and well written. I loved the word "selfhood" that the author uses to describe this journey.
Some standouts:
"...people who were assigned one sex at birth (male or female) who medically transition to the other, people who live as the opposite sex without surgery or hormones, people who combine or blur sex and gender categories, and people who cross-dress. Transsexual to mean someone who has or wants to transition; transgender to indicate a wide variety of unusual gendered experiences; and genderqueer, gender-neutral, and non-binary to mean someone who complicates the simple division of female and male, combining or denying these categories. All of these ways of being can be included in the word 'trans'."
"'Trans' is the word I favor, as it has the broadest and most flexible definition: any person who, in some way or combination of ways, has found that how they experience their gendered self does not fit with the gender and sex they were assigned at birth."
"...humans have been modifying their own bodies through self-surgery for thousands of years, and many other cultures have their own accepted forms of modifying the sexed body. Every achievement of the past is cancelled out by the need to label the next achievement 'the first', making the framing of transness the framing of something exotic, different, a symptom of the modern age, rather than as just another aspect of human nature as old as humanity itself."
"I cannot put a price on the wonder of being at peace with who I am, and of living my life as my whole, authentic self. I believe we all deserve a chance at that happiness."
"We cannot divorce a singular, unified "Science" from the broader cultures that create and sustain it."
***"We have to move forward from the idea that it is somehow a shame, a failure, for a child to grow up to be trans."
"There is a tendency for some cis people to believe that being trans is about fixing some kind of defect, that we have to alter our 'transgendered' selves in order to slot back into place into a gendered society bound about by struggle and by rules. For myself, I think it could be the other way around."
Some standouts:
"...people who were assigned one sex at birth (male or female) who medically transition to the other, people who live as the opposite sex without surgery or hormones, people who combine or blur sex and gender categories, and people who cross-dress. Transsexual to mean someone who has or wants to transition; transgender to indicate a wide variety of unusual gendered experiences; and genderqueer, gender-neutral, and non-binary to mean someone who complicates the simple division of female and male, combining or denying these categories. All of these ways of being can be included in the word 'trans'."
"'Trans' is the word I favor, as it has the broadest and most flexible definition: any person who, in some way or combination of ways, has found that how they experience their gendered self does not fit with the gender and sex they were assigned at birth."
"...humans have been modifying their own bodies through self-surgery for thousands of years, and many other cultures have their own accepted forms of modifying the sexed body. Every achievement of the past is cancelled out by the need to label the next achievement 'the first', making the framing of transness the framing of something exotic, different, a symptom of the modern age, rather than as just another aspect of human nature as old as humanity itself."
"I cannot put a price on the wonder of being at peace with who I am, and of living my life as my whole, authentic self. I believe we all deserve a chance at that happiness."
"We cannot divorce a singular, unified "Science" from the broader cultures that create and sustain it."
***"We have to move forward from the idea that it is somehow a shame, a failure, for a child to grow up to be trans."
"There is a tendency for some cis people to believe that being trans is about fixing some kind of defect, that we have to alter our 'transgendered' selves in order to slot back into place into a gendered society bound about by struggle and by rules. For myself, I think it could be the other way around."
lottie1803's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
ebecks3's review against another edition
5.0
This feels like a book that everyone needs to read… C. N. Lester brings up so many valid points that allies need to be aware of as well as members of the lgbtq+ community!
LIKES:
1) unapologetically in your face about how much you done know about the trans community
2) mentions the prejudice that is faced from others in the LGBTQ community. (It reminded me of colorism)
3) just opened my eyes to so much that I may need to read it again and again
DISLIKES:
1) ZERO THINGS
I wish I would have stumbled across this book earlier, but I will use what I learned and apply it to students and friends that come to me as trans.
LIKES:
1) unapologetically in your face about how much you done know about the trans community
2) mentions the prejudice that is faced from others in the LGBTQ community. (It reminded me of colorism)
3) just opened my eyes to so much that I may need to read it again and again
DISLIKES:
1) ZERO THINGS
I wish I would have stumbled across this book earlier, but I will use what I learned and apply it to students and friends that come to me as trans.
emilyloomiscole's review against another edition
4.0
This is a very thought-provoking book. It covers a *lot*, some I found super fascinating and some I didn't understand at all. Overall, I think it's a good read and it has inspired me to pursue more trans educational literature.
maybelennlenn's review against another edition
5.0
Very well written and thought provoking, some of the early chapters were a bit hard to get through 'cause they hit close to home. I especially enjoyed the queer history parts of the book that offered me a whole new way of looking at the past, and this is coming from someone who is a bit of a queer history nerd.
kurse's review against another edition
5.0
Activist wise things have escalated since this was published in 2018 but this lays an excellent foundation for understanding the trans perspective.
This is also a great time to read before the upcoming election. Will be adding to my LGBTQ+ education list.
This is also a great time to read before the upcoming election. Will be adding to my LGBTQ+ education list.