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Reviews tagging 'Acephobia/Arophobia'
Ace Voices: What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young
9 reviews
celestepaed's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
I feel like this book had a pretty even balance of discussing the different experiences of asexual people and aromantic people and all the places where they might interact. I loved that there were discussion questions at the end of each section because it really got me to think about how I interact with the my own asexuality beyond just seeing my experience represented on the page.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia, Sexism, Racism, and Mental illness
Minor: Ableism, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, and Sexual violence
vampire_burrito's review
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Sexual harassment, and Acephobia/Arophobia
sarahna's review
emotional
informative
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Rape, Sexual content, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Dysphoria, Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Medical content
mfrisk's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
It’s hard to rate a book which discusses people’s personal experiences. I did have some good takeaways from this read but I think the main reason I’m rating it lower is because it dragged a lot for me due to the formatting and style. It feels a bit disjointed going from the authors own thoughts to huge chunks of quotes from other people (while we don’t ever fully get to know) and then homework questions. I wanted to like this more than I did but the formatting and then the ending not fully wrapping up the ideas in the book made it fall a bit flat for me compared to other books I’ve read with similar topics recently.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content, Sexual violence, Ableism, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Sexism, Lesbophobia, Acephobia/Arophobia, Sexual harassment, and Biphobia
foreverinastory's review
informative
3.5
Thank you to Netgalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest opinion. All opinions are my own.
Ace Voices is non-fiction about various terms and intersections present in the aspec community. This book very much highlights both asexual and aromantic voices, and the author is both, so seeing this only titled Ace is very misleading and feels a little like aro erasure. Yes people can be both things at once, but they can also only be asexual or only aromantic. In the beginning the author also mentions an argument they were going to make that will convince people that aromanticism and asexuality are the same, but I still very much disagree. Ultimately I didn't even really see an argument about them being the same thing in this text, but even if it was there I don't agree.
Besides that point, I highly enjoyed this book. It was interesting that it had discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I feel like these can be geared towards allo allies, aspec people beginning to question or even aspec people wanting to explore how new terms could represent how they experience attraction. I don't know if I really learned anything new, but as I'm someone who's very plugged into the aroace community, this doesn't surprise me.
I most enjoyed seeing how other aspec people related and hearing personal anecdotes. I do kind of wish we got longer snippets from the interviews or even got to have these people write whole essays like in Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex. Overall, decent non-fiction aspec text.
Ace Voices is non-fiction about various terms and intersections present in the aspec community. This book very much highlights both asexual and aromantic voices, and the author is both, so seeing this only titled Ace is very misleading and feels a little like aro erasure. Yes people can be both things at once, but they can also only be asexual or only aromantic. In the beginning the author also mentions an argument they were going to make that will convince people that aromanticism and asexuality are the same, but I still very much disagree. Ultimately I didn't even really see an argument about them being the same thing in this text, but even if it was there I don't agree.
Besides that point, I highly enjoyed this book. It was interesting that it had discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I feel like these can be geared towards allo allies, aspec people beginning to question or even aspec people wanting to explore how new terms could represent how they experience attraction. I don't know if I really learned anything new, but as I'm someone who's very plugged into the aroace community, this doesn't surprise me.
I most enjoyed seeing how other aspec people related and hearing personal anecdotes. I do kind of wish we got longer snippets from the interviews or even got to have these people write whole essays like in Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex. Overall, decent non-fiction aspec text.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
midnightcomets's review
informative
inspiring
reflective
5.0
Another non-fiction ace book for the year, but every time I take something new out of it, and this time, I realised this is a workbook! It has questions to make you think about everything that is being explained, and that might be super helpful, especially for baby aces or people who are just grasping the concepts of asexuality and aromanticism. Also, the mistake of calling "Ace Voices" a book that also deals with aromanticism, even though it is not a sexual orientation or necessarily related to asexuality has been addressed by the author themselves in a very satisfying way.
Furthermore, the amount of people who were interviewed for this or spoken to was quite big, making the demographic extremely diverse and wonderfully spread around experiences and identities on the spectrum.
Furthermore, the amount of people who were interviewed for this or spoken to was quite big, making the demographic extremely diverse and wonderfully spread around experiences and identities on the spectrum.
Content Warnings
Minor: Sexual assault and Acephobia/Arophobia
bonriki's review
informative
slow-paced
3.0
I picked this book up after reading Ace by Angela Chen. As a queer allo person, it’s important for me to understand and respect the ace community so I’ve been doing my best to educate myself. Ace Voices is an exploration about what it means to be asexual, how asexuality intersects with other aspects of a person like race or gender, and how it can shape relationships. The book dives into some topics that may be overlooked in other works like microlabels, intersections with other queer identities, and mental illness, disability, and neurodivergence.
This book includes quotes from a diverse group of ace people who articulate in their own words how their asexuality has shaped their experiences and the author liberally includes those quotes when writing on different topics. That inclusion allows this book to accurately reflect the experiences of the people being discussed and present a kaleidoscope of sometimes contradictory perspectives. Being able to see experiences articulated different ways helped me to gain a deeper, more nuanced understanding of peoples’ lives experiences.
On the other hand, none of these topics were new to me and the book was a bit drier and a more academic counterpart to Chen’s Ace. At times the book can be difficult to engage with as there is a remove between the author and the interviewees. That remove can make it feel less like a conversation with the community and more like researcher speaking about their subject of focus.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia
ezwolf's review
informative
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
I am not really one for non-fiction titles, but I think it's important to read opinions and histories of the LGBTQIA+ community as someone who considers themselves a part of it and I'm really glad I read this!
The way the author describes their own personal relationship with gender and sexuality really resonated with me and I was comforted to read about. Even though what I consider my gender/sexuality is still a giant question mark, to know that it was relatable to so many people makes a difference. I also found it fascinating how many a-spec people tend to label themselves as bi/pan to avoid having to explain the intricacies of their relationship with their queer identity. I have already started recommending friends to read this once it's published!
I don't have a lot of standing on this front as a white person (but I also appreciated that in the discussion of religion Judaism was discussed!), but I think that Young did an excellent job touching on the subject of asexuality/aromanticism as seen through Western eyes and also how it plays into other cultures. Like many aspects of the queer community, it is often looked at through a white Western gaze and excludes POC experiences.
Part of what I think helped with the way Young made sure to not only include the white perspective was by referencing other works or talks done by queer POC, like Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen. This has been on my reading list for a while now and it was referenced enough in this book that I will definitely make reading it more of a priority.
Thank you to NetGalley for making this available in exchange for an honest review!
The way the author describes their own personal relationship with gender and sexuality really resonated with me and I was comforted to read about. Even though what I consider my gender/sexuality is still a giant question mark, to know that it was relatable to so many people makes a difference. I also found it fascinating how many a-spec people tend to label themselves as bi/pan to avoid having to explain the intricacies of their relationship with their queer identity. I have already started recommending friends to read this once it's published!
I don't have a lot of standing on this front as a white person (but I also appreciated that in the discussion of religion Judaism was discussed!), but I think that Young did an excellent job touching on the subject of asexuality/aromanticism as seen through Western eyes and also how it plays into other cultures. Like many aspects of the queer community, it is often looked at through a white Western gaze and excludes POC experiences.
Part of what I think helped with the way Young made sure to not only include the white perspective was by referencing other works or talks done by queer POC, like Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen. This has been on my reading list for a while now and it was referenced enough in this book that I will definitely make reading it more of a priority.
Thank you to NetGalley for making this available in exchange for an honest review!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia, Transphobia, Colonisation, Misogyny, and Classism
Minor: Religious bigotry and Genocide
anastasia_raf's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
** Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for providing me with a digital ARC**
Ace Voices by Eris Young is the representation I've been waiting for my whole life. It's the blanket my young ace self would use to warm themself up and hide under to find a world where I'm not weird. I'm unique. I'm not immature. I'm just different. I am not loveless. I'm precious. I'm ace, and that describes me in my wholeness, not lackness.
Ace Voices by Eris Young is the representation I've been waiting for my whole life. It's the blanket my young ace self would use to warm themself up and hide under to find a world where I'm not weird. I'm unique. I'm not immature. I'm just different. I am not loveless. I'm precious. I'm ace, and that describes me in my wholeness, not lackness.
In this book, Eris set out to crush conventionality in its whole meaning and use the ground to build a safe space for me. For us. "To not prove to allosexual people we exist but to prove it to ourselves," As they put it.
This book discusses asexuality, aromanticism, demisexuality, grey-asexuality and even more identities and language used by a-spec people. It redefines love, romance, relationships without actually imprisoning them into conditions or actual immutable definitions. The flexibility given to the meaning of everything is truly refreshing and freeing.
The only critique I have for this book is that it was too short. The thoughts, discussions, the voices of a-spec people, the ace joy, everything! I wanted more of it. This book had me stopping every five minutes to write down quotes, personal experiences, feelings, and to just feel the joy pouring out of me at the realization that I'm not alone. I'm not lost anymore in the expectations of this society, but rather flourishing at my own pace, my own way.
It changed me in a fundamental way. Or maybe it just assured me it was okay to finally see what was there all along.
Here are some of the quotes I loved:
"A network of friendships is like a garden, full of variety and therefore more healthy, robust and sustainable than a single crop. And like a vegetable garden, if you put work and energy into it, it will nourish you in return."
"...and to understand asexuality, aromanticism and all the spectrum identities for what they really are: nothing more than different ways to be human."
"If sex is considered by mainstream society to be a normal and universal function of a healthy body or mind,then romance and romantic coupling - its sexual nature often left unsaid but still implied- is framed as a natural function of a healthy personality."
"In the face of so much pressure to explain ourselves, pressure to be certain, the ease with which so many a-spec people hold into ambiguity, blurriness and changeability of human experience is both a strength and a radical act."
By Grace B Freedom: "while my erotic seat does not rest on the legs of white supremacist cis heteropatriarchal allosexuality, there is indeed an erotic seat and it is indeed hot."
"...and perhaps ironically, realizing I'm not alone has made me more comfortable with being on my own."
Great points of discussion:
"...a feeling of aloneness in who I was."
"We are taught that once a relationship has become very close, it becomes "something more," and ceases to be a friendship. Once a friendship reaches a certain level of intensity, intimacy or closeness, "it evolves'' into a romantic relationship, a different beast entirely."
"When you're desperate to communicate you use the words available to you even if they're not the best ones."
"Born-this-way language risks alienating or even erasing people whose sexualities or genders are fluid or developing."
By LG " Are we really creating stereotypes based on behaviour the same way cis straight people create gender stereotypes?"
By Vaid-Menon "Part of white supremacy as I understand it, is the privilege of being a subject of desire: one who can feel in control of one's desires and one who has more agency to act on said desires."
Go preorder it and make room for it in your bookshelf because I assure you, once you've read it, it will never leave yourself and shelf. ( Proud of what I did there.) I am in actual NEED of a physical copy of this book and counting down the days till I can have it in my hands.
Content Warnings
Minor: Sexual assault, Acephobia/Arophobia, Child abuse, and Genocide
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